


Why do I go to extremes?

by zation



Series: The Were 'verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha Kink, Alpha fetish, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - alpha/beta/omega weres, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Breaking The Rules, Cas is basically an animal, Cas purrs a lot, Castiel is patient, Castiel knows what he wants, Cautious tagging, Comforting Castiel, Dean Needs to Use His Words, Dean tries to do the right thing but is hurting from it, Developing Relationship, Domestication, Eventual Happy Ending, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Human Dean, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Sex, Jealous Castiel, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Mating Bites, Mechanic Dean, Minor Angst, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Not really though, Overcoming society rules, POV Dean, Pining, Pining Dean, Porn Watching, Porn With Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Knotting, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Struggling Dean, Supportive Sam, Top Castiel, Tragic past Castiel, Weres are pets, beastiality, but not really, prejudices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 104,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Weres are basically pets to humans, having sex with one is clearly off limits. In the same world, Dean Winchester lives with this enormous secret that no one has yet to find out. Too bad that a chance meeting will have him confronted with that secret in the most blatant of ways.</p><p>Or,</p><p>The one where human Dean has a fetish for fucking Alphas and where Alpha Castiel might not be as clueless as some seem to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so in my ‘verse there’s going to be two kinds of Weres:  
>  _Domesticated_ : Weres that are kept as pets/guard dogs/workers by humans and comes in two forms — Manufactured (basically test tube pups where the most desired trait is genetically grown in labs) and Farmed (Weres that grow up on a farm kept by human breeders, much like a dog breeder).  
>  _Feral_ : Weres that live in the wild and are not controlled by humans. Are considered dangerous and many are hunted by humans even though the law against human-on-Were violence includes them as well.  
> Also, in this fic a Were’s subgender is instantly recognizable when they are born, just like their first gender (male or female).
> 
> Now, I just wanted to have some fun with this idea I got but I admit that there are some rougher parts. I think I’ve tagged appropriately, though the tags certainly can be changed/deleted as we go, and there will be trigger warnings in at least one chapter.  
> Please make note that this is a work of _fiction_. It’s not meant to invoke any strong feelings or debates. Please just read it for the fun of it.
> 
> And get ready for the long haul because these guys…  
> (Title is from Billy Joel’s _I go to extremes_ )  
> Beta read by the darling BeeCas (I love you!), any remaining mistakes are all mine.
> 
> Toodles! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is now available for sale as Kindle e-book and paperback on [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Chance-Meeting-Felicity-Bell/dp/1520683154/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1488206365&sr=1-2&keywords=felicity+bell) under pen-name Felicity Bell and with the new title "A Chance Meeting".   
> Character names and appearances have been changed but the story remains the same :)

  
  


Your every breath feels like a stab and you are afraid a lung has been punctured. You wheeze as you stumble along in the dark and wet forest, the ground pricking at your bare feet even as the rain hammers down on your unprotected body. You are hungry and thirsty and wounded. You are scared.

A little further along you spot what may pass as a cave and you make your way over to it. It turns out to be no more than three rocks leaning against one another but you take whatever shelter you can find. Out of the rain you begin licking your wounds.

A gash on your forehead has bled into your eyes but you ignore that, the real danger is the cut on your side. Your breath comes in short stutters and when you prod at your cut flesh a jolt of pain shoots through you.

You need to heal and you need to rest but where? Here? You don’t even know where you are anymore. You shudder against the cold wind and think of your family. Would they help you if you came to them like this, pleading and hurt? No, probably not.

You glance in the direction you were going and can make out some lights far away. The rain makes reality distorted but you think what you see is some sort of settlement, most probably humans. You don’t want to go near humans right now but you ran for so long that you are not even sure which way you came from.

You just need some rest. You will continue in the morning and hopefully your wounds will have stopped bleeding. Continue south, if you can tell which way that is. North is back home but you are not welcome anymore so better to go in the opposite direction.

You shudder again when a stronger gust of wind blows rain sideways against you and you lean your head back, closing your eyes. You are tired and lonely and wounded. And somehow you think that the wetness on your cheeks is not only rain and blood. But it can’t be anything else because Alphas don’t cry.

Then again, you are not Alpha anymore. You are nothing.

  


### 

  


It was late in the evening, night even, when Dean finally left the Roadhouse out by the E1450 Road in Lawrence, where he had been drinking together with Sammy and Garth. Man, they had just thought to meet up and celebrate that Sam’s latest exam season was over and Dean hadn’t thought they would be staying this long. He wasn’t complaining, though. He really liked the Roadhouse and the fact that his kinda, sorta surrogate mom, Ellen, owned it made the drive out to it worth it. Plus it was close to where he worked down by North 2nd Street, in Bobby’s, his kinda, sorta surrogate dad’s, Auto Maintenance shop.

But it was late now and Dean was dead tired. When Ellen’s daughter Jo, Sam and Dean’s kinda, sorta surrogate little sister, had joined their table Dean knew he was done for the evening. Jo was too young to drink herself but she was excellent at egging the boys on and Dean had kept his drinking to a minimum so he wouldn’t get a hangover, wouldn’t want her ruining that. Plus, he couldn’t sit there and watch Garth trying to flirt with the barmaids without getting embarrassed so he had gracefully bowed out.

He debated for a moment whether he was too drunk to drive but decided that no, he was fine. He seldom drank _that_ much at the Roadhouse anyway, what with Ellen hovering and the place being so far from his apartment. He dug his key out of the pocket of his leather jacket, whistling to himself as he walked towards his car, his pride and joy.

It was a nice night, the air crisp but not overly cold in the early spring and the night sky clear enough to actually show some stars. It was in the middle of the week so even though it was very late the E1450 was still very busy and so it was nothing short of a miracle that he heard the pained noise coming from one of the bushes beside the Roadhouse parking lot.

He stopped dead in his tracks and cocked his head to the side, trying to sort out the ruckus the passing cars were making to see if he had imagined the sound or not. But no, there it was again. A barely there grunt of distinct discomfort. Someone was lying the bushes and sounded either hurt or drunk off their ass.

Dean deliberated but not for long. Sure, he wanted to go home and he was tired as fuck but he was free tomorrow what with his irregular work schedule and he couldn’t ignore it when someone needed help. Anyway, he would just have to bring the person inside the Roadhouse and Ellen would take care of the rest, he knew. No one was more mothering than her.

So he walked cautiously over to the bushes.

"Hey, man. You okay?" he called before he reached them and by the surprised sound that got him he thought it was good he had thought to announce his presence. "I’m gonna help you, alright?" he stated calmly and pushed the bushes aside only to stop dead in his tracks, just staring at the being on the other side.

It was an Alpha, that much Dean could immediately see. Its eyes shone unnaturally in the light, the Were’s ears were _slightly_ pointy like most Weres, the Alpha cock thick at the base and totally in Dean’s face. Yep, that was absolutely a badly bruised, naked Alpha. It was a hurt and scared, _snarling_ Alpha, lying on his back propped up against the Roadhouse wall, eying Dean with utter mistrust. It was an Alpha with the biggest, bluest eyes Dean had ever seen.

Dean swallowed with an audible click.

This was not good, for many reasons. One being that this Alpha was injured and Alphas were dangerous on a normal day. An Alpha such as this could easily tear out Dean’s throat, Dean knew. The only thing stopping any Were from attacking a human on a daily basis was the fact that Weres were subjugated to humans’ ownership. Meaning that humans kept Weres as pets, basically. But this Alpha didn’t have a collar on and that could only mean that either he had been thrown away by his owner, who might or might not have been the one to beat him, or this was a Feral Alpha. And if this was a hurt, _Feral_ Alpha, Dean might have just signed his own death warrant.

He couldn’t run away, he knew. The Alpha was injured, sure, but Weres were tougher than humans by far and a Feral might react to Dean running by chasing after him; chasing after the prey.

So Dean did the only thing he could think of, the thing that had been printed into every human child by every loving parent. Namely: if confronted with a hostile Were, do _not_ fight until fighting is inevitable. Show your respect.

Weres were dangerous and had very beast-like tendencies and characteristics but they weren’t in fact animals. No, they occupied the space somewhere in-between human and beast and they could talk; could be reasoned with. And Domesticated Weres, whether Manufactured or Farmed, were very used to humans, some even feared humans. Ferals were a gambit, though, so respect was even more important here.

So Dean lowered himself slowly to one knee and reached out his left hand, palm up and wrist clearly displayed in the universal sign of trust between humans and Weres. The Alpha eyed his movements cautiously the whole time, eyes never leaving Dean and Dean was already sweating. If he was lucky he might be able to run far enough towards the Roadhouse’s front door that someone would hear him scream.

"Not gonna hurt you." Dean murmured in a soothing tone and held his wrist up for the Alpha to scent. Dean didn’t know very much about Weres but he definitely knew they had incredible sense of smell and that they would be able to tell a person’s intentions by feeling their scent. The first meeting with a new Were often included a scenting to show trust. He was well aware that the Alpha probably could smell his fear and he hoped that that would give the creature some kind of indication that Dean was sincere.

At the last moment he turned his head away, trying to display a submissive nature because fuck if Dean was going to challenge a freaking Alpha for dominance.

The Alpha made a soft sound that Dean didn’t know how to interpret and suddenly the Were had pushed himself to his knees and leaned over to fucking scent Dean’s neck, right where his shoulder met his neck and shit, _this_ was another reason why this was a bad idea.

Dean had one big secret, one secret that no one in the world knew and that hopefully no one would ever know and that was that Dean’s biggest sexual fetish was Alphas. Alphas in rut, Alphas taking humans, taking human males, pounding their big knot into a helpless human who could do nothing but wail in pleasure as the Alpha snarled above him.

Humans kept Weres as pets and while having sex with Weres technically wasn’t bestiality, is was strictly looked down upon and fell into the sexual assault category. It was just _wrong_ was what it was. Weres looked human except for minute differences but they certainly weren’t human, it would be inter-species sex and just no.

But Dean loved it. He had never thought to act upon it, though. For many reasons but the main absolutely being that human’s weren’t allowed and everyone would hate him. He knew there were Manufactured Weres that were kept as sex pets but that, too, was technically forbidden. In Texas he could even end up in jail.

The Alpha didn’t know any of that, of course, and just used the shocked moment to get a really deep whiff of Dean’s scent. And Dean could do nothing but sit there and hope the Were wouldn’t rip his throat out or, somehow worse, smell his impending arousal.

But the Alpha seemed okay with what he found because he slowly detached a moment later and Dean tried his best to immediately forget what it had felt like when the Alpha breathed on his slightly sweaty skin.

"We good?" he asked and watched the Alpha’s immensely blue eyes roam his body. "Will you let me help you, Alpha?"

The Were made a grunt that sounded somewhat affirmative and sat back a little. Dean took the opportunity to try and figure out what exactly had happened and he cringed visibly when he saw how the Were’s genitals were bruised, as if someone had fucking beaten his dick. He also had a gash just below his ribs on his left side and the skin around it was bruised too. He noticed a couple of other cuts too and even more, smaller bruises. Nothing appeared to be bleeding openly, though, so that was good Dean thought. Still, the Alpha was covered in blood and Dean would need to wash him before he could make sure of the extent of the damage. Also, there was the concern of internal bleeding as well, if the big bruises on the Were’s stomach was anything to go by.

He looked up only to realize that the Alpha was staring directly at his face. Dean blushed a little despite himself because that gaze was fucking intense. He cleared his throat awkwardly and sat back on his haunches.

"Where’s your owner?" he asked cautiously and was met with a low, warning growl. It rumbled out of the Alpha’s throat from deep within his chest and Dean did his best not to shiver. "Okay." He said soothingly. "No owner, my mistake."

Well, not mistake as much as gamble. Looking at the Alpha this close up he was pretty certain it was a Feral Were but he couldn’t be sure until he asked and now he knew. Knew that he was not out of the woods just yet and definitely knew he couldn’t take the Were to a Vet, even if he could find one who was open at this time of night. No, if he took a Feral Alpha to a veterinarian they would probably have him put down because Ferals were being advertised as _dangerous_

He looked over to the Roadhouse and deliberated for a moment. Was it wise to ask Ellen for help with this? She and Sam were both his family but he wasn’t so sure they shared his liberal thinking regarding Ferals. Or, rather, that maybe they did but just that they wouldn’t be so fast to accept that the Alpha wouldn’t hurt them, either out of fright or anger.

When he looked over he saw that the Alpha was still studying him and he couldn’t help but smile slightly, to show that he was a nice guy if nothing else. The Alpha surprised him by tilting his head to the side and mimicking Dean’s smile. The Alpha’s lips quirked at the corners and Dean’s smile grew.

"Can I touch your stomach?" he asked, still in that low murmur so as not to upset their tender trust.

The Alpha’s brow furrowed in confusion and he looked down to his scratched and bloodied stomach. Dean couldn’t help but follow the other’s gaze and maybe he happened to get a look of the Were’s cock again. It was totally involuntarily and while the sight of it so badly hurt made his heart ache it also made his cheeks flush because shit, the Alpha was hung. Like most Alpha’s, Dean supposed, but actually seeing an Alpha naked in real life was definitely different than watching it on a badly filmed porno.

"It’s…" Dean cleared his throat again when the Alpha looked up at the sound of his voice. "You could have internal bleeding, would you let me check?" he saw the Were mouthing the words _internal bleeding_ and Dean couldn’t help but smile again.

All Weres Dean had encountered, whether in person or on videos, could talk and he didn’t think Ferals were any different but he also knew that some of them communicated more with different sounds, more like animals. This Alpha was clearly one of those — or so Dean hoped because if not then maybe this Alpha had been hurt enough to suffer from selective mutism and that would for some reason break Dean’s heart — but while the Were didn’t talk he clearly understood what Dean was saying, except for some things, apparently.

"That’s right." Dean nodded to the Alpha’s silent question and the Alpha’s brow furrowed even more. "It can happen if you get a blow to your softer parts and it could kill you. Let me, please?" he held up his hand and let it hover over the Alpha, hand open, until the Alpha nodded slowly, still clearly uncertain of the necessity of this and it thrilled Dean to think the Alpha was letting him for Dean’s sake more than his own.

One of them made a soft sound the moment Dean’s hand made contact with the Alpha’s skin and Dean wasn’t even sure who did it. Might have been the Alpha because it hurt or it might have been Dean because holy shit, the Were was warm. And his abs were more toned than the dim light from the street light revealed. His stomach was flat and hard and he sat completely still as Dean prodded him, looking for abnormal bumps that signaled clotted blood on the inside and finding nothing. Granted, Dean wasn’t a goddamn doctor or anything but he thought that he should have been able to feel if something was wrong.

He let up a moment later and smiled to show that it was okay. "I think you’re in the clear." He said and watched amusedly how the Alpha poked at his own stomach as well, seemingly searching just as Dean had. "Hey, you, um… You got somewhere to go?"

When the Alpha looked at him this time he suddenly seemed exhausted and he leaned back against the wall behind him, shaking his head slowly.

"Oh." Dean gnawed his lower lip and was extremely aware of how the Alpha seemed to drink him in. "Well, you need to clean those wounds and maybe eat something, sleep it off, right?" he knew that Weres were much better at self-healing than humans and to his relief the Alpha seemed to agree with him because he nodded. "Okay, so…" God, this was _such a bad idea_. "Do you wanna come home with me?"

The Alpha frowned and Dean thought that he had seriously overstepped his line here. From a human perspective he had basically overstepped the line when he hadn’t called the cops on the Were the moment he figured out it was a Feral. From a Were standpoint he had thought he was in the clear but maybe this was too much?

He held up his hands, palms up, and sat back to give the Alpha space. "Nothing weird, okay? I just wanna help. I’m not gonna call the law on you and I’m not gonna take you to the pound." He sighed when he saw that the Alpha definitely knew what he meant by "the pound". The place where mismatched Weres without packs and owners ended up if they weren’t killed first. Dean also knew that Ferals in more rural areas were known to spring Weres free from pounds, even though that sometimes was a horrible idea. Captured Ferals wanted out, that was for sure, but Domesticated Weres didn’t have a fucking clue on how to take care of themselves and usually ended up dead.

Fuck, Dean hated his own race for how the Weres were treated and the truth was that if the humans didn’t so greatly outnumber the Weres then Dean knew that the Weres would have taken over a long time ago. And maybe that was the real reason for how humans treated Weres. Control for the sake of self-preservation. Dean didn’t know if he agreed with that tactic but he also knew that Ferals had killed humans before and it was really difficult to distinguish who was in the wrong in some situations.

Dean’s face softened when he saw how the Were was thinking his options over. "Let me help you, Alpha." He said in a soft tone and that made the Alpha look up to meet his eyes again. Fuck, the Were’s eyes were so strikingly blue that Dean couldn’t help but gulp.

Slowly, the Alpha nodded and sat up straighter.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, trying not to sound so pleased but couldn’t help grinning when the Alpha nodded again. He stood up and held out a hand to the Were.

The Alpha glared at his hand, though, and rose unsteadily on his own, using the wall for support. So he had pride, this young Alpha, Dean thought with amusement. That was unexpectedly hot and Dean had to quell his own thoughts when he for the first time got a good look at the Alpha’s whole body, all stretched out. The Alpha stood tall and proud, only maybe an inch shorter than Dean and fuck, he was all lean muscles, tanned skin and wild hair. The scratches and bruises did nothing to mar his appearance and yes, Dean’s eyes totally glued to the Alpha’s cock for a moment there, just drinking in the sight of it nestled against dark curls, the Were’s fat balls hanging tight against the Alpha’s body in the chill air.

And it was that last thought that made Dean snap to attention. He took off his leather jacket and held it out to the Were.

"Please." He said when the Alpha just looked at it. "It’s kinda cold and you’re hurt, please use my jacket, Alpha."

Asking seemed to be the right way to go about it, Dean decided when the Alpha accepted the jacket. It made it seem like everything was the Alpha’s decision and Dean knew that the Alpha’s were the pack leaders; the ones in control. Yes, if he wanted this Alpha to do anything Dean would either have to come up with a compelling argument or he would have to beg. Either way, Dean was fine with it as long as he could help this Alpha. For some reason Dean wanted nothing else right now than to nurse this Were back to health.

So yeah, Dean was totally doing this out of the kindness of his heart but that didn’t stop his breathing from hitching when he saw how the Alpha paused to sniff the collar of Dean’s jacket after he had put it one.

"Sweaty, I know." He tired joking while failing not to remember how the Alpha’s nose had pressed against his neck a couple of minutes back.

The Alpha looked up and tilted his head to the side but didn’t otherwise communicate back. Dean smiled and gestured for the Were to follow him, and follow he did but Dean could see that his every step hurt him. He wasn’t holding his side or anything though so Dean didn’t know what was wrong, at least not until they had almost reached his car.

"Wait." He crouched down in front of the Alpha and steadfastly ignored how this put his face in position with the Were’s cock. "Lift your foot." He looked up when the Alpha didn’t comply. "Please."

The Alpha was fucking breathtaking like this. All looming over Dean, his face shadowed from this angle but his eyes still gleaming in that otherworldly way all Weres’ eyes did. He had his head tilted to the side again and Dean was beginning to understand that that was the Alpha’s way of questioning what was happening. Still, he lifted his foot after a moment of them just staring at each other and Dean wasted no time, wanting to get out of sitting here before his own body betrayed just how much he had fantasized about kneeling before an Alpha.

He gently grabbed the Alpha’s foot and turned it as much as he could while bending down to look at its sole and sure enough, the Alpha’s foot was covered in even more cuts and Dean could see that some of them were bleeding, probably having opened as soon as the Were stepped on them. Fuck, it looked painful and dirty, deep cuts full of dirt.

"Someone really didn’t want you to flee." He muttered and allowed the Alpha to put his foot down. He stood before the Were, torn between wanting to carry him and preserving his own well-being because he was rather certain no Alpha would agree to be carried like some kind of weakling. "Who did this to you?"

The Alpha frowned and lifted a hand to point directly at Dean, his eyes dark under his angrily drawn brow. For a second there Dean got an icy feeling in the pit of his stomach and he wanted to scream _me? I’ve never met you!_ but quickly enough realized what the Were was hinting at.

"Humans." He stated and the Alpha nodded slowly. Dean should have figured; Weres mostly fought with their hands and while they could grow fangs they didn’t have claws. Cuts like these were bound to be done by a knife and that hinted at human activity. "Fuck." Dean pressed out and carded a hand through his hair.

He didn’t know why but somehow it felt worse that it had been humans that had done this. If it had been between Weres then he could have told himself that it was only that natural rivalry between Ferals he had heard so much about. What had happened that this Alpha deserved something like this? Had he hurt someone? No, for some reason Dean didn’t think so. This Alpha was not in the wrong here but Dean wanted to find those who were. For a split second he had this wild idea that maybe the Alpha had had to kill them to escape. Should that upset Dean? That humans might have had to sacrifice their lives for a "mere" Were? He didn’t know but as he looked at the silent Alpha he had to fight the urge to hug him.

"Well, _I’m_ not gonna hurt you, you get that, right?" he asked, more like pleaded, and watched how the Alpha drew himself up, regarding Dean, before nodding once. An almost ridiculous amount of relief washed over Dean and he couldn’t help but smile, which seemed to confuse the Alpha. "Good, then let’s get going." Dean said and started walking again, this time slower so the Alpha could take it easy on his poor feet.

In no time at all they stood before Dean’s black beauty of a car and he had unlocked the door to hold it open for the Alpha. The Were was just eyeing the car, though, clearly extremely indecisive about this cage on wheels.

"Have you ridden a car before?" Dean asked and the Alpha nodded slowly but seemed uncertain of it, as if he barely remembered it. His eyes never left the car. "Well you’re in for a treat." Dean stated simply, trying to sound cheery. "My baby’s better than any other. Please, Alpha, sit down."

The Alpha’s hands flexed into fists but he squared his jaw and resolutely climbed in and Dean couldn’t help but feel proud of the Were. He quickly closed the door and jogged around to the other side, sliding in before the Alpha had a chance to miss him. When he got inside the Alpha was busy touching everything he could reach and Dean saw how his nostrils flared as he took in every conceivable smell in there. Dean hoped it calmed the Were down as much as it did Dean every time he smelled his baby.

"Alright, sit back and relax." He said with a grin and the Alpha looked profoundly confused. Dean didn’t know how much the Were knew about cars except he kind of assumed he probably had seen them before and apparently ridden one, maybe.

Dean put the key in the ignition and when the engine rumbled to life the Alpha let out a startled sound that turned into a growl. Dean watched in fascination how the Alpha stared at the dashboard and growled threateningly at the car while she just rumbled right back.

He wondered for a wild moment if the Alpha was actually communicating with the car before he decided to interrupt the growling match before he did something stupid like pop a fucking boner at the sound alone. He knew that he was fucked in the head for thinking so but he couldn’t help it. Sitting in such a closed off space with a hurt and, now, frightened Feral Alpha should make Dean scared, not aroused.

But somehow, ever since the Alpha had let him touch him, Dean felt as if this Alpha wouldn’t hurt him. Which was of course really stupid and dangerous thinking. This Alpha owed Dean nothing and he had had none of the upbringing Domesticated Weres got. Humans weren’t benefactors to him, they hurt and hunted his kind, enslaving some and killed others. Just the fact that he had trusted Dean enough to get this far was actually awe-inspiring. Which was probably from where Dean’s arousal sprouted, coupled with his weird fetish.

"Hey, Alpha." He said and was unable to keep the mirth out of his voice. "It’s okay, she’s supposed to sound like that, she’s not challenging you."

The Alpha snorted like Dean clearly didn’t know what he was talking about but he relented in way of stopping his own growling. Dean smiled to himself as the Alpha kept eyeing the dashboard suspiciously but the best part was yet to come and Dean seriously had to pinch himself to keep from laughing at the indignant yelp the Alpha let out as soon as the car started moving. And just like that the Alpha was back to growling again, his hands and face pressed against the window as if he was trying to will the world outside to _stop moving_. Man, Dean couldn’t believe this was happening and he couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying it.

"So, Alpha." He said after a while, sure the Were would welcome a distraction. "Do you have a name? I mean…" he coughed self-consciously when the Alpha turned to him, suddenly again acutely aware that this was no fun little pet he had picked up. It was too easy to forget himself in this Alphas presence. "I mean, do you have a name you would let me use?"

Because why the fuck should the Alpha have to give Dean anything? Sure, Dean was willing to help the Were even if it meant he could get himself in trouble but how could the Were know that?

"Castiel." The Alpha surprised him by answering, his voice the low rasp of a voice seldom used and yes, it sent a tingling sensation down Dean’s spine just as well as that growl had. "Cas."

Dean concentrated on breathing. He looked over and smile kindly. "It’s nice to meet you, Cas. I’m Dean."

The Alpha looked pleased and returned that barely-there smile of his own. "Dean." He repeated and Dean nodded with a dry mouth. The Alpha nodded too and leaned back in the seat before turning back to glare at the world outside the window, quiet for the time being.

Fuck, Dean knew this was stupid and dangerous, taking in an injured Feral, but in this moment he felt nothing but happiness and pride. And apprehensive excitement.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful reception!

  
  


The ride home only took about five minutes because maybe Dean was speeding a little, thinking about how exhausted the Alpha probably was even though said Alpha sat looking excitedly out the window the whole time.

Even so, when he finally sidled up to his two-bedroom apartment on Kentucky Street he had never been gladder. He liked his apartment just fine, it was close to KU’s campus where Sam and his fiancée Jess went to school and close to their apartment down on Ohio Street, which admittedly was just off campus but the KU’s rules were clear on Weres and they weren’t allowed. Hence Sammy had moved off campus when he had met Jess and Jess’ little Beta, Anna. Dean didn’t mind, though, because their new apartment was still close and his own was cheap enough so that he could manage it on his own. He had gotten a two-bedroom apartment thinking that he would have to share with a roommate but Bobby was an extremely nice boss and even though Dean had nothing more than a high school diploma, Bobby still paid him just as much as the other mechanics he kept. It probably helped that Dean was a very good mechanic and the whole shop was more family than anything else.

So Dean had thrown away the roommate idea and was glad for it. He still kept the spare room as a combined storage/guest room and fuck, it just seemed to be faith that he had because where else would he put the Alpha?

Castiel, Cas, wobbled a little on the steps behind Dean but Dean pretended not to notice, knowing it would hurt the Were’s pride. Sure, Dean didn’t know that much about Alphas in real life but he had spent a lot of time with Anna. Granted, she was a Beta but she was also very smart and spoke freely, answering any and all questions she could about Were society that Dean could think of. Anna was a Farmed Were, though, meaning that she had grown up on a farm where humans controlled everything and basically acted as the Alphas so Dean was uncertain how much help she could be to this particular problem. Plus, he was beginning to think it would be better not to involve his meddling little brother and fiancée before he had this under control himself. For all he knew, Cas would be gone in the morning and that would ultimately be for the best anyway, he supposed.

"Here we go." Dean said when he opened the front door and flicked on the light in the hall. Cas stepped in cautiously and was visibly scenting the air. Dean couldn’t help but smile and tried to hide it. Of course the Alpha would use his sense of smell to see if there was anything dangerous lurking in the shadows of this unknown place but still, it looked cute. And yes, Dean wanted to kick himself for thinking so.

He gestured for Cas to follow him into the kitchen area and then proceeded with pulling out a chair for the Alpha. Cas looked grateful for perhaps the first time and sat down gingerly.

"I’m just gonna go get something to clean you with." Dean said slowly and the Alpha watched his every move intently. "You can remove the jacket if you want, I’ll be _right_ back."

Cas’ eyes left him at that and the Alpha started scanning the kitchen instead but Dean chose to walk backwards out of the room anyway. He was still for some reason very confident that Cas wouldn’t attack him but it didn’t hurt to stay safe.

When he got back with his first aid kit the Alpha was sitting the chair, still with the jacket on, and evidently going through its pockets. A crumbled receipt, some spare coins and a lighter was placed neatly on the table beside him and Cas was busying himself with some pocket lint just as Dean walked in.

"Hey there." Dean mumbled with a smile and the Alpha looked up with unreadable eyes. "Find anything useful?"

Cas turned to the table and seemed to _really_ think his options over and Dean couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn’t been serious, of course, but boy did the Alpha take it so.

He turned to Dean after a moment and held up the lighter before cradling it to his chest and reaching out his other hand to Dean, palm up and full of the spare coins.

"Fire for you and money for me?" Dean asked and the Alpha gave a curt nod because yes, humans valued money and Ferals valued warmth. That logic was so extremely sound that Dean felt a little shell shocked.

All you ever heard about Weres was that Omegas were mothering, Alphas were brutes, and Betas were smart but here sat a fucking Feral Alpha and displayed logical thinking. Dean had always known there was more to Weres than humans admitted but shit. The fact that the Alpha actually knew what the lighter did only made Dean even more impressed.

Dean accepted the money gingerly and pocketed them in his jeans pocket. "Thank you, Alpha." He mumbled and fuck, Cas looked very pleased with him. Dean turned around to fill a bowl with water before he lowered himself to kneel before the Alpha once again. "I’m gonna clean your wounds, is that okay?"

Cas conceded with a little head tilt and Dean supposed that was as good as it was going to get. He slowly opened his first aid kit and pulled out some cotton pads that he wetted before he proceeded with lifting the Alpha’s left foot to start there. He did everything slowly, giving the Alpha a chance to object that wouldn’t end in Dean getting his head bashed in. But the Alpha just sat there, staring at the Dean whole time that Dean cleaned the wounds from clotted blood and dirt. He worked up from the feet, the legs, and was soon all the way up to the deepest gash on the Alpha’s side.

Dean looked at it with gritted teeth because fuck, this really looked like someone had tried to kill the Alpha. He took extra care to clean this wound and winced when Cas’ whole body sized up and the first sound in a long time escaped the Alpha. It was a pained little sound that he seemed extremely angry at having let out. Fuck, Dean wanted to hug him.

"Okay." Dean mumbled and rummaged around the first aid kit. "It looks like we won’t have to stitch it but I still wanna put some iodine on it, can you remove the jacket?"

The Alpha looked displeased but did as bid and shit, just like that Dean was once again faced with a completely naked, totally hot Alpha. At least with the jacket on Dean had been able to not think about Cas’ fat cock that was _right in Dean’s face_ at this angle but now…

He blinked when he realized he had been staring and instead held up the iodine for the Alpha to see. "This is so your wounds won’t get infected but I’m gonna warn you; it stings like hell. Are you okay with me putting it on you?"

The Alpha stared at the little bottle in Dean’s hand and then squared his jaw before leaning back in the chair. He looked resolutely straight at the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen and Dean couldn’t help but smile at the brave façade the Alpha put on. The Alphas were the leaders and the protectors, they couldn’t afford to be weak and Dean knew this but even so he once again couldn’t help but think of the Alpha as cute. He really had to stop.

The moment the cotton wad drenched in iodine touched Cas’ wound he hissed and bared his teeth. Dean froze but when he looked up he saw that the Alpha was growling at the cotton and not at Dean, as if the little ball of orange-white fluff was to blame. He grinned and continued applying the medicine, smearing the Alpha’s side orange and Cas continued to growl warningly the whole time.

"There." Dean said curtly when he was done. "That wasn’t so bad, was it?"

He stood up and started putting away his first aid kit and noticed how clenched the Alpha’s fists were where they lay on top of his thighs. Before he even knew what the hell he was doing he had sat down again and put a hand on top of Cas’ fist.

"You did very good, Alpha." He said gently and Cas’ blue eyes shifted over to bore into Dean’s fucking soul or whatever. "Do you want something to eat?"

Cas blinked slowly and Dean could see the suspicion in his eyes. Dean guessed the people who had done all this to the Alpha had given him the same offer but even so he didn’t know what to do other than kindly look back and remain seated below the Alpha.

Cas nodded eventually, though, and Dean couldn’t help but smile. This Alpha was far away from his pack, deep into human lands, hurt and probably more scared than he wanted to admit and yet it seemed he did his best to trust Dean. And while Dean didn’t know what he had done right to earn such trust he still felt butterflies in his stomach with every inch the Alpha gave him.

"Great." He said happily and stood again, this time to turn to the fridge and open it to scan its extremely poor content. He frowned at what he saw, thinking he really should do something about his eating habits. A day old box of chicken noodles, some ham, half a loaf of bread — _that you shouldn’t keep in the fridge, Dean! Fuck you, Sammy_ — beer and some milk. Dean sighed.

Behind him, however, the Alpha made the most intriguing sound yet. A sort of half-mewl, half-growl and when Dean turned to him he saw the Alpha eyeing the fridge with big, round eyes. Oh yeah, it probably smelt amazing to the Were’s sensitive nose.

Dean grinned widely. "Something you fancy, Alpha?" he said and Cas shifted to look up at Dean and fucking hell, the Alpha obviously tried really hard to look indifferent. As if to say _I don’t need you or your fancy human food_. Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. "How about I just put some stuff on the table and you eat it _if_ you want it, okay?"

The Alpha made a _whatever_ -grunt and when Dean looked over he wasn’t meeting Dean’s eyes. This Alpha had more sass than Dean had pegged him for and God help him, Dean enjoyed it.

He worked fast at heating the chicken noodles and making as many sandwiches as the left-over ham would cover. He barely had time to put it down in front of Cas before the Alpha was practically inhaling the food. He ate the noodles with his hands, apparently uncaring of the heat, while Dean busied himself with the sandwiches and when Dean put down a big glass of milk, Cas downed it in about three seconds flat. A little bit of milk spilled out and ran down the Were’s throat as it worked furiously to swallow the liquid and Dean watched with an extremely dry mouth. The Alpha was absolutely gorgeous, he decided in that moment. All wild and unashamed and every fucking wet dream Dean had ever had.

No! He mustn’t think like that. It was wrong and the Alpha would tear his throat out before he would have a chance at being condemned by his own race. He shifted in his seat and prayed the Alpha couldn’t smell his blooming arousal. But Cas seemed more focused on the food and Dean couldn’t help but lean his chin in his hand, watching with an almost fond smile. Well, even if Cas decided to leave right after the food was gone, Dean thought he had done good by the Alpha. It couldn’t ever hope to compensate for what those other humans had done but Dean at least hoped the Alpha wouldn’t forget this little act of kindness.

After the food was safely tucked into Cas’ stomach, the Alpha looked a little greasy and a lot tired. Dean sort of wanted to reach over and wipe the Were’s chin but didn’t think that would be appreciated so he decided not to care about that. Instead he rose to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. He noticed the Alpha tracking his movements but decided not to think about it.

"Well, I dunno know about you but I’m dead tired." Dean announced casually. "Do you wanna stay the night and sleep for a bit?" the Alpha nodded slowly in response and Dean smiled down at him. "I have an extra bed. Please come with me, Alpha."

He walked out of the kitchen, very aware of the Alpha’s looming presence behind him. He glanced back and was pleased to notice that Cas was walking better now, even if only slightly. Dean thought it would take a day or two for the smaller cuts to heal completely and maybe a little longer for the deepest gash but even with the Alpha’s natural healing he was glad he had been given a chance to clean the wounds.

As they walked they passed the bathroom and Dean stopped to consider this. All Domesticated Weres knew about toilets and showers and used them just as humans did but he wasn’t so sure about Ferals. It made him blush to think about but if Cas was staying even for a single night, he would have to tell the Alpha this or maybe deal with even more awkwardness.

He looked back only to notice the Alpha studying him curiously and Dean didn’t know if it was because he looked indecisive or if he smelled like it but he smiled nonetheless, hoping to ease the Alpha, and pushed the door open to reveal his tiny bathroom.

"I just wanna show you this." Dean said and walked in, followed extremely closely by the Alpha. "Have you used one of these before?" he gestured vaguely to the shower and toilet.

The Alpha looked around and Dean could see immediately that the answer was no, even if Cas took his sweet time considering his surroundings before shaking his head. Dean walked up to the tub and pulled back the shower curtain to point at the shower head.

"This is for when you need to clean yourself." He stated simply and Cas watched him with incredibly intelligent eyes, following his every move. "You turn it on here." He turned the knob and then pointed to the one for hot water. "This is for making it warmer and the other is for colder water, okay?"

The Alpha was staring at the water that sprouted from the shower, obviously enthralled, and he reached out a hand to touch the water, nodding slowly at Dean’s instructions even though Dean was pretty sure he hadn’t seen which knobs Dean had pointed at. He decided to leave it like that for now.

"You turn it off on the same knob." He said and demonstrated before turning to the toilet. "Now, this is important. This is for…" he harrumphed self-consciously when Cas started exceptionally intensely at him, obviously catching the word _important_. "This is for when you need to, you know…" he gestured vaguely down at the Alpha’s cock and Cas looked down confusedly. "When you need to pee and take a dump." The Alpha looked up and blinked, giving Dean a blank look and Dean swallowed his embarrassment because _everybody poops, Dean_. He lifted the lid and pointed down at the water. "If you need to take a dump, you sit down on it like a chair and if you need you pee you can either stand up or sit down, just as long as _everything_ goes into the water, okay?" he tapped the handle. "And when you’re done you push this to flush it all away. Now," he pointed at the toilet paper. "You use that to clean yourself up after, you know." He gestured to their butts. "And you flush the paper too. And after that," he turned to the sink. " _This_ is for washing off when you’re done. You turn it on here and—"

He stopped dead midsentence when he heard a very distinct sound behind him. The distinct sound of liquid hitting liquid and fucking hell, Dean knew even before he had turned around that the Alpha was goddamn peeing right in this moment, with Dean mere inches away. He made a strangled sound at the sight of Cas with his head tilted back in apparent bliss as he let go straight down the bowl. Fuck, the stream was hard and fast and he must have really had to go, Dean realized, and it shouldn’t look sexy because _ew, pee_ but it somehow did because it was something that came out of that beautiful cock and yes, Dean was totally fattening up at the sight of the Alpha’s peaceful face. So trusting, so calm. So _hot_.

Dean whipped around faster than the speed of light but was unable to walk out of the room, as if _that_ of all things would be considered bad etiquette. He held his breath and willed his arousal away with thoughts of dead kittens, not breathing again until the Alpha’s stream tapered off and eventually stopped.

"Great." Dean squeaked and hated himself for it. "Now you just shake or whatever and flush."

But the next sound that came from behind his back was not the sound of the toilet washing away but an extremely pained whimper. It was enough to bring Dean out of his dirty thoughts and he turned around with concern in his eyes.

What he saw was the Alpha still cradling his dick but biting his lower lip, looking torn between anger and pain. It didn’t take Dean much brain-power to figure out that Cas had indeed tried to shake off like usual but that that had hurt like a bitch with those bruises still marring his most sensitive area.

Dean’s heart ached for the poor Were and before he could think it through he had walked up to Cas and put a hand on the Alpha’s hand.

"I’m sorry." He murmured soothingly and the Alpha looked at him like he truly believed it. "I can’t even imagine the pain and I’m sorry, I don’t have any of those fancy health creams for dicks but…" he suddenly remembered what his mother had done when he was little and bruised his knees. "I think I have something else. Please wash off and meet me back in the kitchen."

The Alpha regarded him for a moment and Dean only then realized he was basically cradling the Were’s cock. He stepped back carefully, taking note not to rip his hand away so he wouldn’t alarm Cas. But Cas just stared at him and then nodded, turning to push the handle of the toilet and Dean left then, confident that the Alpha would do his bidding.

Well in the kitchen he dug out some cooking vinegar that Sam had left here the last time he had tried making Dean a salad for dinner. It wasn’t out of date, thankfully, and Dean proceeded with pulling out some cotton from the first aid kit that was still on the table. When Cas entered, Dean was already well on his way to dipping the cotton in a little bowl of vinegar.

"Please sit down, Alpha." Dean said and gestured to the chair that still had Dean’s jacket flung over its back. Cas did as asked but he looked a mixture of confusion and suspicion. Dean walked up to him with the bowl and held up the piece of drenched cotton. "This is vinegar." He said and let Cas sniff it, which made the Alpha scrunch up his nose. "It’s used for food and stuff but my mom always used to say it enhanced blood flow near the surface and that that would make the bruises go away faster. I dunno if it really works but with this and some warmth my bruises used to go away pretty quickly." He pointed down at the Alpha’s crotch. "Do you wanna?"

Dean meant _do you want to try it?_ but the Alpha obviously took the question as to mean _do you want to do it on your own or should I?_ because shit, he just nodded and spread his legs in apparent invitation.

Dean tired swallowing but couldn’t. He lowered himself to his knees and a soft sound escaped him when he reached out with shaky fingers to gently grasp the Alpha’s cock. It was soft and smooth and so warm that Dean’s face flared a bright red. Unlike Dean’s own, Cas’ dick was uncut and even his balls were bigger. Dean’s knuckles brushed them every now and then and there was no moisture whatsoever in Dean’s mouth right now.

Okay, so _this_ was clearly overstepping a lot of boundaries, right the fuck here. Sure, a doctor would do this for his patients and a Vet would do this for Weres but Dean was just a mechanic with an Alpha fetish and he shouldn’t be fucking allowed within ten feet of an Alpha’s exposed genitals, that was for fucking sure.

But Cas didn’t seem to think so. He just sat there calmly, his hands resting on his thighs as Dean worked the vinegar-covered cotton over his cock. Gently, oh so gently, Dean smeared vinegar all over it, lifting it to get the underside too, and reverently dabbing vinegar on the bruises that littered the Alpha’s pelvis too.

"Well," Dean said when he had taken way longer than needed to complete the treatment and yes, his voice totally cracked. "I think that’s the best we can do for now. I think you’re supposed to wash it off after some time and you should try to keep warm too. I’ll get you some pants."

Yeah, Dean was babbling now and not meeting Cas’ eyes but Cas just listened quietly and remained seated as Dean practically bolted from the room, praying to whatever fucked up God that had sent the Alpha to him that the Alpha couldn’t smell Dean’s hard-on.

He returned only after he had gotten it under control and was well aware that it had taken him a ridiculous amount of time before he walked back into the kitchen. But Cas was still there, sitting in the chair and examining his cock with deft fingers.

"Here we go." Dean exclaimed too cheerfully and held up a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "You can wear this to bed if you want to."

The Alpha looked over at him and blinked once before reaching out and accepting the sweats but not even glancing at the tee. Okay, so maybe he would be warm enough, Dean seemed to remember that most Weres had a higher body temperature than humans anyway. And Cas was Feral, did they even wear clothes? Yes, Dean thought, but probably not human-made clothes.

Anyway, when the Alpha was dressed Dean once again led him towards the spare bedroom. It felt better this way, with Cas covered, felt like Dean could concentrate and not be a disgusting freak for a moment.

He pushed the door open and flicked on the light. The room was small and divided practically down the middle. On the one side it was full of boxes and stuff that Dean didn’t want down in the cellar’s storage but that he also didn’t want unpacked. On the other side was a bed with a small bedside table and a dresser that was as high as Dean’s shoulders. The bed was made but Dean walked up to it and rustled the sheets anyway, mostly to do dust-control but also to smell them. Barely anyone slept in here but it seemed fine to him. Maybe Dean wasn’t the tidiest guy on the planet but he was certainly clean and even though he basically only used this room as storage he still cleaned in with the rest of the apartment on a regular basis. So it was fine, he thought.

"You can sleep in here." He offered and Cas looked around the room with open interest. "You don’t need to bother with me, just stay in here for as long as you want. You can close the door if it make you feel better, I want you to feel safe here." Fuck, those words were truer than Dean cared to admit. The Alpha looked over to him and quirked his lips in that little smile and shit, it made Dean’s chest all fluttery. "I—" he cleared his throat when Cas just kept looking at him like whatever he had to say was _really_ important. "My room’s the one next to the bathroom, please don’t hesitate to ask if there’s anything you need."

Was Dean a little apprehensive about sleeping when there was an Alpha in his apartment? Considering his bedroom door didn’t have a lock? Yes. But more than that he felt an overwhelming need to just _be there_ for the Alpha. It was stupid and dangerous and fuck, Dean had already had this conversation with himself.

He had taken the Alpha home, thinking he maybe wouldn’t stay but now he was Dean was just going to work with the circumstances, for as long as needed.

"Have a good night’s sleep, Alpha." He said and Cas surprised him with answering with a little half-growl that Dean had no choice but to interpret as a _you too_. Holy shit, the Alpha’s range of sounds made Dean as hot under the collar as it fascinated him and he smiled a little before bowing out.

The door snicked shut behind him and he hurried to clean up in the kitchen and make himself ready for bed. Oh he wanted very much to fuck his own fist until he came with a hoarse shout but he would hold off. It was bad enough that he of course would be thinking about Cas and that all his generic Alpha fantasies probably were shot to hell now that he had actually held a real-life Alpha’s cock in his hand — _becauseholyshithehadheldanAlpha’scockinhishand_ — he would not indulge in anything of the sort as long as Cas was still here and still recovering from what Dean could only assume was a sexual assault trauma.

He only hoped that the wounds were just as shallow as they had seemed and that the Alpha would be okay soon. Hoped with all his might that he had made the right choices.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean exercises caution and proves himself to be extremely patient

  
  


Dean woke with a start much sooner than he wanted to. He had had awkward sexy/horrifying dreams all night, ranging from getting fucked to getting killed by Cas and sometimes multiple versions of the Alpha. So he woke sweaty and panting but not in a good way and he definitely woke in a more tired mood than when he eventually had fallen asleep. Maybe taking in a stray Feral Alpha wasn’t the best of ideas after all…

He rolled ungracefully out of bed and rubbed his face tiredly before even daring to glance at the alarm clock. He groaned when he did, quickly deducing that he had only slept about four hours, and not whole hours at that.

"Coffee." He grumbled and walked out of his room on unsteady legs.

The door to the guest bedroom was still closed and Dean didn’t think he had heard the Alpha leave during the night but he wasn’t completely sure. He paused outside the door, uncertain if it would be okay for him to enter or not. They had ended the night on a pretty high note, Dean thought, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

Still, he wanted to make sure if the Alpha was still there and if he was okay. So Dean decided to knock, at least.

"Alpha?" he called but didn’t get an answer. He knocked harder but still nothing. He frowned and decided to chance it and pushed the door open slowly. "Alpha?" he asked again, lower now but when his eyes landed on the bed it was empty. In fact, it didn’t look like anyone had slept in it at all. "Huh."

Maybe Cas had just waited for Dean to fall asleep and then left? Somehow that didn’t sit right with Dean but it was certainly a possibility. Why would the Alpha want to stay anyway? He probably had his own pack he was worried about and he didn’t really owe Dean anything. Yeah, Dean should really go check to see if the front door was even closed.

Just as he turned to leave he heard the faintest of sounds. A soft little exhale turned content purr that most definitely came from the bed. Dean frowned in confusion and tiptoed over to the bed only to kneel beside it and what he found fucking melted his heart right there.

Because under the bed, curled into a little ball on his side, lay big strong prideful Alpha Castiel and snored slightly in his peaceful sleep. His had his mouth slightly open and a little drop of drool had formed on his lower lip. Yeah, there was really no other way for Dean to describe this than "precious".

He grinned to himself and got to his feet, leaving as quietly as he could and took care to shut the door behind him. He paused just outside the door to shake his head fondly. And then again to shake away any fond thoughts about an Alpha he had just met but fuck, it was difficult with the image of Cas’ sleeping face burnt onto his retinas.

Dean busied himself with his regular day life, making a poor breakfast consisting of coffee and the one sandwich Cas hadn’t eaten the night before. He texted Sammy to see if his brother and friend had gotten home alright after he left them yesterday, laughing at Sam’s answering text that revealed they had stayed well past midnight because while Dean was off work today, Garth wasn’t and Dean could just picture his friend trying to work over old cars while trying to hide his hangover from Bobby. As if Ellen wouldn’t have told the old bear that Garth stayed so late. Man, Bobby would work Garth’s ass off.

Dean didn’t really have enough to make a decent breakfast for Cas but it turned out it didn’t matter because the Alpha didn’t emerge from the bedroom all morning. As lunch time rolled around Dean started entertaining the idea of waking the Were just to tell him that he would be going out to buy groceries. Then again, Dean supposed Cas needed to rest to heal properly.

He listened outside the guest bedroom’s door and thought he heard the Alpha still snoozing so he ended up doing the world’s fastest grocery run. He was back in just about fifteen minutes, which was extremely impressing considering the closest grocery store was Checkers Foods, which was a five minute drive. The cashiered probably thought Dean had the trots or something what with him basically bouncing up and down while she bleeped in his food but fuck if Dean cared. For some reason he really didn’t want Cas to wake up to an empty apartment. Letting the Alpha think Dean had abandoned him seemed like the worst possible idea.

But he made it with plenty time to spare because when he dashed into his apartment again, he found Cas still asleep and how the hell that was possible with all the ruckus Dean made as he carried the too many grocery bags into the kitchen Dean would never know. But the fact was that when he once again tiptoed into the guest bedroom to crouch beside the bed he found the Alpha still under it, still sound asleep.

He had shifted, however, and was now on his back, one hand on his chest and the other stretched out towards Dean. And fuck Dean for wanting to but he totally wanted to grab the Were’s hand. He didn’t, of course, mostly because he thought he shouldn’t but also because he thought it would wake the Alpha and he doubted Cas would appreciate having been snuck up on.

So he left again, shutting the door behind him and proceeded with making lunch. And then dinner. And then an evening snack. And yes, he made enough for Cas all three times but the Were didn’t emerge so Dean just wrapped the plates in some plastic wrapper and put it in the fridge for now.

He was getting concerned, though, and spent some time on his laptop after he had gotten ready for bed again and was alone in his room. Different veterinarian sites gave only curt information and urged owners to take their Weres to a certified Vet if they thought something was wrong. That did nothing to quench Dean’s growing discomfort but he eventually stumbled upon several different forums for Were owners and read more than one comment that started putting his mind a little at ease.

  


_My little Beta, Ambriel, broke her wrist and the Vet just put a cast on her and told me to let her sleep. I thought he was insane but Ambriel slept for a whole week! And then she was all better, I was so relieved!_

_my omega slept for like two days when he burnt his hand on the stove and then he was all better. much cheaper than a vet!_

_My Alpha Uriel got injured protecting our lawn yesterday. I brought him to a Vet but that guy just gave Uriel an antiseptic shot and told me to let him sleep. Should I get another evaluation?  
EDIT: Uriel’s fine, just from sleeping. I wish I could self-heal like that…_

  


Okay. Okay, so maybe it was nothing to worry about? Maybe Weres healed like that? And Cas had only been sleeping for a day, judging from these comments and roughly a billion others like them, healing a little cut would be nothing and would take a couple of days, tops. Dean decided to wait until tomorrow, at least. Tomorrow he would try and wake the Were and maybe check in on his wounds. None of the comments said anything about eating and bathroom breaks but Dean was sure that was necessary anyway. He deliberated for a moment, trying to decide whether to involve Sam yet or not but ultimately decided against it once again. Sam would probably make this whole mess out to be something more serious than it was and Dean didn’t need him berating Dean for his decisions.

No, Dean felt pretty good about this and only vowed that if he hadn’t managed to wake Cas up by the end of the week, three days from now, he would ask his brother for help. Granted, Jess and Sam kept a Beta but judging from the comments the healing sleep was universal for all Weres.

Dean nodded to himself, pleased he had come to a conclusion and then resolutely put away his laptop, not even glancing at the tags for his favorite porn sites, featuring blatant Alpha-on-human porn. _That_ would have to wait for another time, he thought and turned off the light, rolling under the covers before his dick could persuade him into doing something stupid.

  
  


*****

  
  


The next day was much of the same and Dean ended up not trying to wake the Alpha after all. Somehow, as he stood outside the bedroom listening to the low snores, he felt comforted to know that the Were was at least safe here.

He still made food enough to feed Cas if he decided to wake up but ended up wrapping that in plastic as well. At this point there were more left-overs in his fridge than ingredients but Dean wasn’t complaining. At the end of the second evening he found himself on the couch, restlessly playing Call of Duty and slowly sipping a beer, thinking about what to do about this situation he had woven himself into.

As soon as Cas was feeling better Dean should really drive the Alpha out to the woods outside town and that would be the end of that. But Dean worried because normally Alphas at Cas’ age weren’t alone. Normally they had a pack to take care of. Or, assuming Dean was guessing the Alpha’s age wrong, Cas should at least belong to the pack he grew up in. There was really no reason for any Feral to be on their own and yet that was how Dean had found Cas. Alone and beaten. Cas had implied that it was humans that had done that to him but what if he was covering for his pack? What if they had treated him badly and he had had to flee? Or what if humans had hunted his pack and killed them, saving Cas for last? Dean didn’t want to think in those lines but the truth was that that was an actual possibility and it tore at his heart to consider.

He went to bed not much later, head still tumbling with disturbing thoughts, and once again he had to force his dick to calm down but it wasn’t easy. The most beloved part of his body was seriously considering mutiny, Dean could tell, because shit, it had been too long now. Dean was a healthy young man and he was used to jerking it off almost every day but somehow it didn’t feel right to do it with Cas here. Maybe because he was concerned the Alpha would be able to smell it and that would just be embarrassingly intimate. Or maybe he was completely ashamed of the thoughts he usually entertained when he was indulging in some self-loving. Or maybe he just needed to get a goddamn boyfriend already. Or at least get thoroughly fucked. Yeah, he should really call Benny or Victor, see if they were still around and still single. It would maybe be weird with Benny because their sort-of relationship a few years back hadn’t panned out but they still remained friends and of the two, Dean really preferred Benny in bed to Victor. If nothing else, Benny was usually rougher. Not as rough as an Alpha might be but still…

Dean sighed into the pillow and kind of hated his life for a little while there.

The next day was the worst, for a lot of reasons. One was his raging boner that _wouldn’t be ignored, fuck you Dean_. So reason one led to reason two, namely his hurried jack off in the shower that ended up being more unfulfilling than relaxing. Reason three was simply that he needed to go to work and while he enjoyed his job and his coworkers, he really didn’t want to leave Cas alone. Hence, reason number four: the possibility of leaving the Alpha to wake up to an empty apartment made him more depressed than anything else.

So yes, he totally ended up outside the guest bedroom again, knocking softly.

"Alpha?" he called, knowing full well that the Alpha hadn’t been sleeping very long but he desperately hoped that the wounds hadn’t been that life-threateningly. To his great relief his tentative question was answered with a low, sleepy grunt, barely audible through the door. Dean drew a deep sigh of relief.

"I’m sorry to wake you but I’ve gotta go to work." He paused and rested his hand on the door, uncertain if he was welcomed into the room or not. "I’ve made you food, it’s in the fridge so it’s cold but you can…" he trailed off when he realized that the Alpha most probably didn’t know how to work a microwave. "You can eat it anyway." He finished lamely. "I’ll be back later today and you, I dunno…" he coughed awkwardly, feeling much more bashful than normal, which was moronic. "If you want to leave you’re totally free to do so but humans usually don't like uncollared Weres walking around without an owner so they might try to take you to the pound, just a fair warning. If you wanna leave on your own I’d recommend doing it at night. And, um, I’m leaving a key for you on the kitchen table if you want to leave and then come back. Just," he sighed at himself, feeling beyond irritated that he was suddenly acting like a dork. "You’re more than welcome to stay for as long as you want, Alpha, but if you do decide to leave, whether you’re coming back or not, I only ask that you make sure the front door is locked, okay?"

Dean sighed again when he was finished with the most awkward one-sided conversation he had ever fucking had but Cas surprised him by yet again answering him. It was another little grunt that sounded as if the Alpha was agreeing with him and Dean couldn’t help smiling a little.

"I’ll be back later and I’ll bring you some hot food, Alpha." He said and even though Cas didn’t answer him he got the feeling the Alpha was happy to hear about the prospect of food.

  
  


*****

  
  


Man, that had been the longest day of Dean’s life. Work had never seemed so endless and his friends had never been so boring. But he had held his tongue and ducked under the hood of the Taurus he was assigned to when he got into work that morning.

And he had managed to get through the day without raising any suspicions and now he was finally on his way home with two pepperoni pizzas from Papa John’s. He absolutely didn’t know whether Cas would eat a pizza or not and he definitely didn’t know if the Alpha would still be there but Dean knew what he hoped for and let that steer his decisions for now.

Sam had called him as he was waiting for the pizzas and had asked if he wanted to come over but he had pretended to be dead tired for no goddamn reason at all other than wanting to get home to see Cas. Still, if the Were had left Dean knew he would regret lying to his little brother more than he already did because he doubted he would want to be alone in the apartment tonight. Somehow, thinking about Cas leaving without even saying anything felt hurtful and yes, Dean was very aware that he was just being a little princess right now but he had decided to fuck it for the moment.

When he eventually got back he found the front door thankfully locked but the apartment was also dark when he entered.

"Alpha?" he called and slammed the door shut behind him. The bottles of soda and water he had bought with the pizzas wobbled on top of the cartons as he walked over to the kitchen, flipping switches on the way to illuminate the rooms. He half-expected the Were to just be standing there suddenly, in a corner, looking ominous and he felt a pricking sensation at the back of his neck when he entered the dark kitchen but ignored it. Because of course that room was empty as well and he was seriously starting to think Cas had left after all.

As a last-ditch effort he took one of the pizzas and the water to walk over to the guest bedroom with it. He knocked softly and heard a sound from the other side before he had even said anything.

"Alpha?" he asked and dared open the door, not knowing what to expect. The whole of Cas’ pack in there with him, maybe, or at least the Were himself. Instead he was met with the same empty room as the last few times. He frowned confusedly and took a couple of steps into the room. "You in here?"

There was a soft sound from the bed in answer and Dean smirked, suddenly knowing exactly where Cas was. So maybe the big, bad Alpha hadn’t healed all the way yet or he was still uncertain if Dean had good intentions or not, either way Dean found it amusing that the Were took to hiding under the bed.

"I bought you a pizza, I’ll just put it over here." He said cheerily and placed the pizza on the dresser. "You can eat it in here if you want to, I’m eating mine in the kitchen, no pressure." He looked around in the relative darkness of the room and noticed that some of the boxes were open. Maybe he should be mad that the Alpha apparently had been looking through his stuff but for the life of him he couldn’t. He barely remembered what he had in here anyway and to notice once again how curious the Alpha actually was made Dean smile.

"Is there anything else you need?" he asked and made to step closer to the door.

There was some shuffling under the bed but Cas didn’t emerged. "Water." He rasped and Dean couldn’t help smiling wider at the sound of the Alpha’s rough voice.

"Right here beside the pizza, Alpha." He said kindly and tapped the dresser.

And from under the bed came an honest to fucking God purr. It wasn’t a purr in the way cats did it but close enough so that Dean had to define it as that. It was in reality more of a long drawn growl with a positive connotation but fuck, Dean had to bite his lip because the Alpha had _purred_ in thanks.

Yeah, Dean had to duck out after that so he wouldn’t make an ass out of himself. He didn’t know if he was more amused or aroused; closer to laughing or popping a boner. But by God, he knew he had really liked hearing that sound coming from the Were, especially directed at him.

One thing was for fucking sure, though, Dean thought as he adjusted himself and sat down to eat his pizza in peace, and that was that he would have to hook up with someone soon or lose his mind. It was ridiculous of him to be reacting like this around Cas. Alphas were Weres and Weres weren’t humans, ergo he shouldn’t be having this problem and it was unfair of him to impose his problems on Cas, especially since the Alpha apparently had decided to stay, however shortly.

Besides, his little fetish was just a fantasy and Dean had intended to keep it a fantasy until his death came a-calling, he was just reacting like this because he hadn’t been exposed to so many Alphas in real life before. Especially no naked Alphas with whom he spent alone time with and whose cock he had rubbed.

"Fuck." Dean muttered when he realized where that last thought had lead. He shifted restlessly in his seat. And come to think of it, he hadn’t even asked how Cas was doing. No "how are you wounds?" or "how’s your dick? Did the vinegar work?" no nothing because Dean had been too distracted by the Alpha’s quirks. He sighed and emptied the last of his soda before getting up and fetching a beer instead, which, yeah, felt much more suited to his situation.

About an hour later Dean found himself on the couch, watching a nature show about sharks and texting his friend Ash about maybe grabbing a beer later in the week. Dean wanted to but he didn’t know if Cas would be staying and if he could, or even wanted to, leave the Alpha alone so he kept his answers elusive. 

The sound on the TV wasn’t overly loud but Cas apparently walked so quietly that Dean didn’t hear him approach. He was just finishing up the latest text and hitting send when the Alpha rounded the couch and came to stand beside Dean.

"Alpha!" he exclaimed and couldn’t help smiling widely. Thankfully, so did Cas too. Or, well, he quirked his lips and Dean had already taken the liberty of declaring that a pretty big smile for the quiet Were. "You’re up and about, how are you?" he got to his feet and stood before the Alpha, looking him over.

The bags under Cas’ eyes were smaller and his eyes seemed brighter, although that could just be the light from the TV, Dean told himself because he didn’t want to sound stupid. The Alpha’s hair was tousled, though, even more so than before and the tips were a little lighter color from dust clinging to it. Dean cringed inwardly at that and hoped Cas hadn’t inhaled too much. He really ought to clean under that bed.

The gash on the Alphas side was completely healed, now showing only a little scar and some new skin covering the formerly open wound. The other cuts were better as well and Dean could see that the bruises that had been visible on the Were’s upper body had mostly faded. Cas still had the sweats on so Dean couldn’t be sure about anything below the waist but he took what he saw as a good sign and decided to leave it at that because he was pretty sure Cas would just drop his sweats if asked and Dean definitely wasn’t mentally prepared for that.

Instead he nodded and gestured at Cas’ whole visage. "You look much better." The Alpha looked down and seemed to inspect himself for the first time in a while. When he looked up he nodded too and quirked his lips again. The area around the former gash on Cas’ side was still colored orange from dried iodine, however, and now dust stuck to his body like nobody’s business. It didn’t seem to bother the Alpha that much but Dean knew it had to feel uncomfortable.

"Have you eaten the pizza?" he asked and Cas nodded again, making Dean smile. "Good. You should go take a shower and then you can come here and have a drink with me."

Cas tilted head to the side and regarded Dean for a moment and Dean only then realized he basically had given an Alpha an order, even if it was more of a suggestion on his part, it could still be perceived as an order. Dean swallowed slowly and cursed himself silently. Just because he had helped Cas and kind of gotten used to the Alpha’s presence in the short time — _and admired his sleeping face_ a stupid voice in his head added — didn’t mean that Cas was in fact anything else than a Feral.

But Cas didn’t pounce on him or snarl at him or make any kind of indication of wanting to hurt or threaten him. He just studied Dean for a while and then promptly turned around to walk to the bathroom. He didn’t shut the door and after only a moment Dean heard the shower curtain being drawn. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. That had been a little scary, if Dean was being honest.

He allowed himself to relax when he heard the water turn on but immediately jumped high when seconds later Cas let out a goddamn yip. It was high-pitched and angry at the same time and Dean had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as he carefully approached the bathroom.

"Too hot or too cold?" he asked from the door and admired the shadowy figure on the other side of the curtain.

"C-cold." The Alpha pressed out through clacking teeth and Dean allowed himself to grin.

"Turn the knob closest to the wall, slowly." He nodded to himself when he saw Cas bend down to reach the knobs and left at that because even if the Alpha didn’t mind showering with the door open it didn’t mean Dean had any rights to spy on him.

Instead he went to fetch another pair of sweats, exchanging the iodine-smeared ones and throwing them in the hamper in the bathroom. He placed a spare towel next to the sweats, figuring Cas would either know or don’t care. After that he simply retrieved another bottle of water and went out to the living room to resume watching sharks attacking the shit out of smaller fish.

The Alpha emerged not much later, his hair a little wet and sticking up at odd angles but otherwise relatively dry. He also had on the new sweats and their midnight blue color accented his blue eyes very well and fucking shit, that was the gayest thought Dean had ever had…

"Hey, Alpha." Dean greeted softly and Cas grunted in answer, sitting down when Dean scooted to the other side of the couch. "I have some water if you want." He said and held up the bottle for Cas, who accepted it gratefully. He downed half of it within seconds and Dean tried his best to not ogle the Alpha’s bobbing Adam’s apple. Damn, the Were looked fucking hot when he drank eagerly like that.

Dean shifted to reach for his own beer and pointed to the TV. "I’m watching sharks." He informed the Alpha unnecessarily.

But then again, maybe not so unnecessarily, Dean thought when he saw how Cas’ eyes budged out at the image of a great white shark swimming by. Did the Alpha even know what a shark was? Probably not, if no one had explained it to him, Dean determined. Lawrence was a long way from the ocean and the closest water they had was either Kansas River or Clinton Lake, both of which Dean severely doubted had any sharks in them. On the other hand, what was to say that Cas was from around here? He could just as well be from Florida and somehow ended up here.

He watched with amusement how Cas listened attentively to the host on the show talking animatedly about the great white their boat had been tracking for a while. They followed a camera down into the water and Dean had to suppress a laugh when Cas bared his teeth at the TV as the shark swam past. When the show switched to showing in slow motion how the shark jumped out of the water to reach the bloody meat they had hung from a wrench Cas actually growled threateningly at the TV. The growl was deep and rumbling and yes, Dean totally snorted out a laugh before he could stop himself. Cas didn’t seem to notice, though, too occupied with warning the TV-shark off and it was just fucking adorable, okay?

"Alpha." Dean said in a calming tone. "It’s not real, it’s not going to come here and attack you." He sat on the edge of the couch, leaning his elbows on his knees and smiling kindly. "It’s only a TV, do you know what a TV is?" that last thought had just struck him and he watched curiously as Cas turned slowly from the TV to watch Dean’s face intently.

He nodded after a while and Dean nodded too, understanding that the Alpha probably had seen a TV before but only fleetingly. Perhaps through the window of someone’s house, perhaps as he and his pack snuck through smaller towns. In either case, Cas knew the shark wasn’t actually here but it apparently still made him on edge to watch.

"You know what?" Dean smiled and leaned back to grab the remote. "I think my favorite show is on, is it okay with you if we stop watching this and switch over?" Cas nodded again, seemingly not completely understanding but Dean took his assent anyway and flipped channels until he found the reruns of Dr. Sexy M.D. he had known would be on at this time. "Look at that." He said, satisfied with himself and put the remote on the coffee table before leaning back and yes, he totally grinned to himself when Cas mimicked him.

They watched Dr. Sexy long into the night, Dean trying to explain the show and admitting that he mostly watched it because of Dr. Sexy himself. If he ignored the fact that Cas clearly was an Alpha and not a regular guy, Dean could almost pretend there had been something else between them that evening. But that was preposterous, of course, and they ended the night before his thoughts could get more ridiculous.

"You know," he said as they prepared to part ways in the small hallway outside the bedrooms. "I’m glad you stayed."

The Alpha looked at him and blinked once before turning away and walking into the guest bedroom. He didn’t say anything, of course, but he didn’t have to. Dean heard the purr Cas gave him in answer as clear as day and fuck if that sound didn’t tug harder at his heart than mere words would have.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You were just protecting yourself."  
> "You."  
> "What?"

  
  


Dean was rudely woken the next morning by his alarm clock. Groaning, he rolled out of bed and rubbed his face shortly before practically slamming the clock to make it quiet. His sleep hadn’t treated him kindly, or very kindly depending. Meaning he had had many and confusing dreams, most of which faded as soon as he woke up but all of which he was sure had involved the Alpha some way or another. His dick was approving, anyhow, but Dean was beyond tired with that bastard’s bullshit.

He gave himself a few minutes more just to collect himself and then walked out of his room and just as he was passing the guest bedroom, Cas poked his head out, startling Dean.

"Alpha." He breathed and drew a sharp breath. The Were regarded him silently for a moment and then quirked his lips. "You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?" he mumbled and smiled back a little. "I have to get to work again today but the same offer still stands for you, stay or leave." He smiled wider when Cas nodded and walked into the room again without saying anything.

It was impossible for Dean to know how long this would last but he figured he at some point should stop reminding the Alpha that he could leave. Because Dean wanted him around and that was the truth of the matter. It hadn’t taken long for Cas to crawl under Dean’s skin and Dean liked to think it was more than Dean fancying Alpha knots. Dean liked taking care of people, animals, things. Sam called him mothering and while Dean always loudly rebuffed that statement he secretly knew it to be true. And there was just something intriguing about taking care of an Alpha, at least an Alpha like Cas.

Dean sighed when he caught sight of himself in the mirror in the bathroom. "Looking hot there, grandpa." He muttered and scraped a hand across his cheeks, figuring shaving could wait another day but only because it was still nippy outside.

In the shower he raked his fingers through his short hair roughly, lathering up and idly watching the suds draining away as he let his thoughts wander. He tried to keep them off the Were but it was difficult because, let’s be honest, Cas was the most interesting thing that had happened to Dean in a long time.

His musings were interrupted by what he thought sounded like the door opening and he quickly washed his face free of soap.

"Cas?" he asked before he could stop himself, not even sure if it was okay for him to use the name. Sure, the Alpha had given it to him but he had seemed satisfied with Dean calling him by his subgender and if Dean was honest he kind of liked it as well. No need to dwell on that, though, as mere seconds later the shower curtain was ripped to the side to reveal the Were standing there.

Dean yelped and tried to tear the curtain from Cas’ grip as the Alpha’s gaze raked up and down Dean’s naked body.

"Alpha!" Dean exclaimed indignantly and much too woman-like for him to admit. "What are you doing?"

Cas relented by dropping the curtain and yeah, Dean kind of, totally hid behind it like a teenage girl. The Alpha was staring intently at Dean and his blue eyes felt like fire licking up Dean’s spine. Great.

Then suddenly Cas patted his stomach and growled low. Dean’s brow knitted.

"You need to take a dump?" Cas rolled his eyes — _actually fucking rolled his eyes_ — and Dean would never have expected so much sass from a Were, let alone a Feral. He grinned. "You’re hungry?" he guessed again and heard Cas’ answering grunt over the rushing water. "‘Kay, just gimmie a couple of minutes to finish up and I’ll make you something." He stopped to think and Cas just stood there, patiently waiting and solid like a fucking rock. "Come to think of it, there’s probably still left-overs in the fridge. Why don’t you take out something you want and put it on the table, I’ll show you how to work the microwave when I’m finished here, okay?"

Cas grunted approvingly and Dean’s chest didn’t get tight, like _at all_ , so that was good and thankfully the Alpha left at that. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and went back to showering and not at all touching himself even though his dick was an angry shade of red and hurt a little. A mean little voice at the back of his head unhelpfully informed him that Cas probably could smell Dean’s arousal but he ignored it, pretty sure the Alpha would have acknowledged it at least a little if that was true.

Later, when Dean was clad in his most restricting jeans because fuck you, dick, Dean taught Cas to operate the microwave and oh boy, that gave Dean conflicting feelings. On the one hand he was really impressed and proud at how fast the Alpha learned. He was so attentive and did it right all on his own after only two tries, managing to heat his own food.

On the _other_ hand, what the hell was Dean doing getting all proud for? Wasn’t like Cas was his Alpha or something like that. And what the hell was up with the butterflies in his stomach when he watched Cas happily chomping down on the heated eggs, clearly enjoying the nuked food. Yeah, Dean kind of left in a hurry without eating after he had caught himself smiling dopely into his coffee.

He rushed through his day same as last and this time Bobby actually asked where the hell the fire was but Dean just shrugged it off, only feeling marginally bad about not telling the man. He wanted to, pretty sure he could trust Bobby with his life, but he didn’t know what there was to tell yet. And he definitely wanted to run any and all possible lies by Cas first. Not that Dean wanted to lie but what the hell was he supposed to say? "I took in a Feral"? No, keeping Ferals was a crime, perhaps not punishable by jail but at least a hefty fee and Dean didn’t fancy bringing his stepfamily into anything like that. Because he knew, deep down, that if he told them the truth and begged them to trust him they would but he would rather not involve them, if the law came knocking.

So he had just smiled at the gruff old man and told him it was nothing. Not that it looked like Bobby believed him but he at least let it slip at that, for which Dean was eternally grateful. Man, he really needed to talk to the Alpha to see if he was inclined to continue his stay or not because Dean was pretty sure much of his anxiety was about Cas leaving. Which was ridiculous of him, of course, don’t think he didn’t know.

When Dean got home Cas met him in the hall, making Dean absurdly happy. The Were looked sleepy, like he had just woken up, but he growled in greeting when Dean cheerfully called out to him.

Dean made them dinner just to give Cas something to eat that wasn’t nuked or store-bought and he couldn’t help grinning like a fool when the Alpha proudly showed him the extra plate in the sink, indicating that he had managed to heat his lunch all on his own.

This was a prideful Alpha, Dean had known that the moment he had laid eyes on him, but Cas turned out to be so much more. Curious was at the top of Dean’s mind as he spun around the Were in the kitchen, trying to cook while Cas insisted on sniffing and touching everything first.

He laughed out loud when the Alpha licked raw chili from his fingers and then immediately stuck his tongue out, looking helplessly at Dean. A tiny whine escaped him but it morphed into a threatening growl soon enough and Dean laughed even harden when he realized Cas was growling at the chili to _stop burning_. Still smiling he poured the Alpha a glass of milk and watched how Cas downed that quickly, holding the empty glass out for more.

"I’m cooking over here." Dean chuckled. "You know where the milk is."

The Alpha huffed and it wasn’t a human-like huff. It made the hairs on the nape of Dean’s neck stand on edge because shit, all of this had been too intimate, too friendly, and it had once again made him forget just what the hell Alphas were capable of and what a Feral Alpha might expect. Dean might think of Cas as cute and funny — and smoking hot because _fuck_ — but what did Cas see when he looked at Dean? A medic? A food-source? Surely not an equal like Dean would have liked but then again, wasn’t Dean in the wrong for thinking like that in the first place? Humans and Weres weren’t equals, society said so.

But the Alpha did nothing but turn to the fridge, grumbling and rummaging around before pouring himself some more milk. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and went back to cooking, silently reminding himself to get it together.

Cas didn’t seem irritated, though, and went right back into curious mode as soon as his tongue had stopped hurting and Dean indulged his every silent question. Shit, it was just too easy to slip back into that comfortable mood, Dean noticed and would it be so bad? His thoughts were really all over the place…

When they ate Cas made these little happy noises that made Dean grin bashfully. And it only got worse when he realized that this was the first time they had actually eaten a proper meal together and fuck if Dean didn’t like it. It was so easy too, the two of them sitting there at the table, Dean talking about his day and the Alpha listening with rapt attention even if he didn’t understand everything.

Dean kind of wanted to ask what the Were had been up to all day but he was apprehensive of the question, or what the answer might be. Because surely Cas had found it extremely boring to stay cooped up inside all day. Granted, he had probably slept a lot, maybe still healing, but other than that? Dean really thought he should teach the Alpha how to operate the TV, and he could maybe tell Cas to go through those boxes in the guest bedroom, if he hadn’t already. He didn’t know if the Were could read but that would be something else to do, wouldn’t it? Fuck, Dean was slowly realizing that if he intended to extend his hospitality indefinitely he should talk to Sam and Jess as soon as possible to get to know how to entertain a Were. He knew both Sam and Jess were away practically all day too, what did their Beta do all on her own? She was smart, Dean knew, so she probably read and stuff but fuck, Dean could tell Cas was just as smart. But one step at a time.

"You know, Alpha," he started and Cas looked up from where he had been poking his bell pepper suspiciously. "I was just wondering if… I mean, I like that you’re staying, I guess I was just—"

But he didn’t get further, interrupted by the sound of keys in the front door’s lock and by the way Cas immediately perked up, baring his teeth, the Alpha heard as well. Shit, he went from calm to on alert so fast it scared Dean. And then the door was opening and the Alpha was already on his feet, rushing out to meet the perceived threat and Dean’s heart stuck in his throat. There were exactly three keys to this apartment, his key, the spare he had tried to give to Cas and Sam’s key. So either Cas was going to rip a clumsy burglar’s throat out or Dean was two seconds away from losing his little brother.

" _Alpha!_ " he shouted at the same time Sam’s greeting turned into a frightened yell and the Alpha’s snarl echoed through the apartment.

Fucking hell, Dean had never run so fast in his life. The chair clattered to the floor behind him and he heard a loud thump coming from the hall, the front door slamming shut just as Cas growled like Dean had never heard him before. It wasn’t low and threatening, it was the roar of a predator about to kill and _fuckfuckfuck_.

He came out into the hall mere seconds after the Alpha and found just about what he was expecting: Sam was on his back, trying to deflect Cas’ snapping jaws and from the look of it Sam was dazed, probably from hitting his head on the floor. The Alpha’s sharp canines had grown out and his eyes were fierce, practically crackling with electricity, the red of Alpha rage bleeding in at the edges.

"Alpha!" Dean screamed again and lunged himself at the grappling pair. "It’s okay, Alpha, he’s family. He’s my brother, not a threat, _not a threat_." He was yelling to be heard over Cas’ snarling as he tugged ineffectively at the Alpha’s upper body. "Alpha, please, he’s my family, my pack, please don’t hurt him!"

Cas was flailing to get Dean off and, presumably, away from the threat, and his flailing got Sam smacked in the face with an open palm but it also gave Dean an opening to slide in-between the two and fuck, he did the only thing he could think of.

He grabbed the Alpha’s head and shoved his face into the crook of Dean’s neck, right where he had smelt Dean the first time they had met and where Dean assumed a Were’s pheromones would be the strongest.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed and somewhere in the back of Dean’s head he realized that this was probably not only unconventional but also dangerous because Cas was still snarling and baring his teeth. Dean could feel them against his prickling skin.

"It’s okay, Alpha." He mumbled soothingly and kept a firm grip on Cas when he made to pull away at Sam’s sharp tone. "No one’s gonna hurt you, we’re all fine." He pressed his lips against Cas’ sweaty hair. "You’re okay, little Alpha."

Cas had stilled but he was still growling low under his breath. He was scenting Dean’s neck, though, and Dean thought that was good. The Alpha would be able to smell his fear, sure, but Dean also hoped he could convey his trust towards Sam as well. Gradually, Cas relaxed, his nose and mouth pressed against Dean’s sweaty skin but his eyes no doubt still trained on Sam.

"He’s my little brother." Dean said in a much calmer tone now. "He has a key of his own, he can come and go as he pleases." He pulled out and made Cas meet his eyes. The Alpha’s pupils were small and focused but the red was gone and Dean gulped down his fears. "Okay? Come here." He turned around to Sam who was still half-reclined on the floor, watching the exchange with big eyes. He hadn’t looked so small since they were kids and he had broken his arm thinking he could fly. "Sam, give me your arm."

Sam shifted his eyes from Cas only to look at Dean like he was stupid. "What? I’m absolutely not letting him scent me."

Dean gritted his teeth. "Great way to build trust there, bro. Give me your fucking arm."

Cas was tense behind Dean and still growling low but he seemed to be more on his guard than in attack mode so Dean felt marginally better about that. It took some coaxing, mainly consisting of Dean staring at Sam like _come on, dude_ , before Sam eventually sat up slowly on his knees and stretched out his left hand, palm open and wrist up.

Cas huffed and put an arm around Dean to shove him behind the Alpha instead and Dean’s insides churned at the protective display. When Sam didn’t move further, the Alpha eventually dipped his head to scent Sam carefully. Sam pressed his lips together and looked like he was ready to bolt but he remained still and Cas eventually straightened. To Dean’s immense relief he finally stopped growling. He was squinting angrily at Sam, though, so Dean decided to take over again.

"See?" he asked and tried to keep his tone light. "Nothing fishy, you could smell he’s my brother, right?"

It was Sam’s turn to huff. "Their smell’s not _that_ great, Dean." He mumbled and Cas kept squinting.

Dean sighed and got to his feet, extending a hand for his little brother and Sam grabbed it even though the Alpha shot to his feet at first touch. Sam glanced warily at Cas.

"I guess this is why you said you didn’t want to meet up the other day?" he asked and Dean nodded even though the Alpha and Sam were still busy staring at each other. "Should I come back another time?"

Dean sighed again. "No, I think it’s better if we do this now. Just," he turned to Cas and the Were’s attention immediately snapped from Sam to Dean. "Are you okay?" he asked and Cas tilted his head to the side. "Sam’s a doofus but he’s _really_ important to me, are you okay with him being here, Alpha? No lingering desire to rip his throat out?"

Sam made an honest to God squeak at that and Cas glanced briefly at the taller man before meeting Dean’s eyes again and giving the grunt that Dean had come to identify as the Alpha agreeing with him.

Dean smiled a little. "Good, then let’s get back to dinner. Sam, you get your own goddamn plate."

  
  


*****

  
  


"So let me see if I got this straight?" Sam asked as Dean was removing the dishes after their uneasy dinner. "You up and went over to a rescue shelter in Kansas City, like an hour away, _just_ to suddenly get a Were?"

Dean harrumphed self-consciously when Sam spelled out his lie so plainly. "‘S more like 45 minutes." He mumbled with his back to his brother and Cas.

Man, the Alpha had just sat there the whole time Dean spun lies for them, looking curiously between the brothers and yes, Dean was incredibly uncomfortable with lying like this. He had definitely wanted to talk to Cas first, to see what kind of story he would be comfortable with and if he wanted to stay long enough to even need a story in the first place. Now it was all kind of forced on them and he hoped the Alpha wouldn’t hate him for it.

"But… Why?" Sam asked and Dean spun around, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and sighing exasperatedly.

"I dunno. I’m lonely." He shrugged when Sam stared dumbfounded at him. "You know I got this apartment with a roommate in mind."

"Then why not get a roommate?"

Dean gritted his teeth. "I don’t want a roommate. I just want company."

Sam frowned. "Dean, a Were is not a toy, you have to really take care of them. They’re much more capable than mere animals but it’s still an extremely big commitment."

 _Don’t I know it,_ Dean thought to himself and sneaked a glance over at Cas. The Alpha was seemingly taking all of this in stride, just sitting there and studying Sam intensely. Kind of like he had studied Dean that first night and no, Dean was not jealous because that would be ridiculous.

His eyes softened when he remembered that night, though. "You should’ve seen him, Sammy." He mumbled and Cas suddenly shifted his blue eyes over to Dean. "He was beaten but not broken, so goddamn proud."

The Alpha tilted his head to the side and regarded Dean and just fuck, suddenly the kitchen felt too hot and Sam was still there and Dean should really get his shit together.

"What do you mean, beaten?" Sam asked and thankfully pulled Dean out of his thoughts.

Dean sighed again and tossed the towel onto the counter. "The shelter told me his owner did it and then dumped him at their door. He was cut and shit and I just couldn’t leave him."

Sam shook his head fondly. "Remember that bird we found when we were kids?"

Dean scoffed. "This is nothing like that." He stated determinedly because it _wasn’t_. Dean might have a record of trying to take care of strays and injured animals but taking in Cas was nothing like that. For one, he hoped Cas would stay alive and not leave. "I’ve just been thinking about this for a while and you were talking a lot about Anna last week, I just finally made up my mind. Knew I couldn’t afford to buy a pup, though." He saw how Cas tensed at that and shit, hearing about Domesticated Weres was probably difficult for the Feral.

Sam didn’t seem to notice, though. "So you got him days ago and weren’t planning on saying anything? Did you know Bobby called me today and asked what was wrong with you?"

Dean rolled his eyes and sat down at the table again. "Is that why you’re here? The old man couldn’t let it drop?"

"Dean." Sam said reproachfully and Dean shook his head dismissively. "He was just worried and you could’ve told him you were just thinking about your Were."

Okay, the way Cas’ eyes kind of zeroed in on Dean really fucking heated Dean up from the inside out. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Yeah, well, I was just busy thinking about what you did at home all on your own, Alpha." He said, not really looking at Cas but clearly seeing how he tilted his head again. "I mean, it must’ve been boring, right?"

The Alpha made a grunt, a kind of _meh_ that did nothing to ease Dean’s guilt for leaving the Were on his own. He should have taken time off work, or at least turned on the freaking TV before he left.

"Do you read, Alpha?" Sam asked suddenly and Cas shook his head slowly. Sam just smiled kindly, clearly thinking that an owner that beat his Weres probably wouldn’t indulge them by teaching them to read. "I’ll see if Jess still has some of those books from when Anna learned to read. And maybe some brainteasers, right?"

Dean could see that Cas didn’t know what any of that meant but the Alpha nodded again and actually quirked his lips when Sam smiled broadly. Man, Dean was really relieved that Cas and Sam got along so easily after their first disastrous meeting, merely an hour earlier. He very much wanted Cas to stay but Sam was his little brother, after all, and Dean needed the two to get along if this was going to work out. From what he was seeing now, however, that didn’t seem to be a problem at all.

"That would be great." Dean agreed. "And, I dunno, toys? How old are you, Alpha?"

Cas snorted at the same time as Sam scoffed. "They didn’t tell you at the shelter?"

"Guess they didn’t know." Dean mumbled, embarrassed. "But adult, right?" Please be adult or Dean would not just be a creep that sexualized Alphas but a pedophile too. The law sure as fuck didn’t make a difference between human kids and Were pups when it came to things like that.

But Cas thankfully quirked his lips and nodded, confirming what Dean himself had judged a few days before.

"I’d say older than us, even." Sam added and the Alpha obviously didn’t know how to respond to that so he sat motionless. Dean turned to his brother.

"How do Weres age anyway? Like us? You said Jess bought Anna when she was a pup but that would’ve meant Jess got her when she was a kid, right?"

Sam sighed the way he did when Dean was dense. "Weres age like three times as fast as humans until they reach adolescence and then they practically slow down to our pace. Really Dean, if you’re doing this you should definitely read some books on Weres."

Dean opened his mouth to sass back but snapped it shut when he realized Sam was completely right. "Maybe I should." He agreed quietly and to his immense pleasure that actually shut Sam up for the moment.

Cas looked between the brothers for a moment before bending down to catch Dean’s eyes, grunting a little in question and Dean couldn’t help grinning at him. "Dessert?" he asked and stood to fetch some ice cream.

"I shouldn’t." Sam protested and Dean responded by piling his ice cream higher than the other two.

Cas stared at the offered treat with eyes that told both Winchesters he had never seen something like it before. Dean put a spoon down for him and figured that if the Alpha had managed to mimic Dean enough to eat chili and rice with a spoon then he would manage this as well. He liked pushing Cas to see if the Were would figure stuff out for himself. And yes, he also liked showing the Alpha when he didn’t understand. Man, Dean was just a couple of days into this and he was already in too deep.

Cas watched Sam for a moment and then seemed to deem the ice cream safe to eat and oh boy, when he took his first bite he turned to stare at Dean as if he had hung all the stars in the sky.

"Good, right?" Dean mumbled and didn’t shudder when the Alpha licked his lips before digging in again but only because there would be no shuddering going on with Sammy only about two feet away.

"I’ll see what kind of books we have at home." Sam said as they watched Cas eat ice cream like he was born to do it. "Seems like you have a lot of work ahead of you, especially if his owners mistreated him." Dean just nodded with tight lips and ate his ice cream slowly. Cas was practically down to licking the bowl already. "Might be that we have mostly books on Betas but if that’s the case I’ll find you others. And I think we have a spare collar at home too."

Dean could see Cas tense at that but he made no move to join the conversation and Dean hated how they talked over his head as if he was too stupid to make decisions for himself. Of the three of them, Dean suspected that Cas was in fact the most capable but, given the pet status he was downgraded to in the eyes of human society, none of his past experience would matter. Dean _hated_ it.

"Great." He pushed out. "The shelter was useless."

"I’ll say." Sam snorted. "They should’ve given you all of this and seriously shouldn’t even have given him to you. I mean, no offense Dean, but taking care of a full grown Alpha who’s been mistreated is nothing for a rookie, none of us is really enough."

"Maybe not." Dean conceded without taking his eyes off of Cas and Cas turned to meet his gaze, making Dean smile ever so slightly. "But I’m glad he’s here nonetheless."

Cas answered with his little purr, which made Dean’s chest incredibly tight and made Sam laugh unexpectedly.

"You’re gonna do great." Sam said cheerily and Dean thought that, yeah, they just might.

  
  


*****

  
  


Sam had left not much later, promising to bring all he could think of that would be useful and absolutely promising to ring the bell next time, saving the key for emergencies. And he made Dean promise to tell their friends and family about his "purchase", to which Dean had just nodded awkwardly when said purchase was standing just a foot behind him, his eyes burning holes in the back of Dean’s head.

With Sam gone, Dean suggested they watched TV again and Cas responded by plopping down on the couch. Before he turned the TV on, though, Dean turned to Cas just to get some stuff off his chest.

"So, you okay with what we told Sam?" he asked and the Alpha peered at him, silently urging him on. "I mean," Dean scratched the back of his head, still feeling the lingering effects of Cas’ gaze there. "We haven’t even talked about if you want to stay much longer." He looked up and was encouraged when the Alpha made a positive grunt. "I dunno about you but I’d rather you stayed with me than lived on the streets but you know, if you have somewhere to be you’re free to leave. How about we keep the lie as long as you wanna stay?"

Yeah, Dean was totally rambling in a completely uncharacteristic way but goddamnit, the Alpha’s presence made him shaky in a dangerously delicious way.

Cas suddenly looked away and sighed a little. "I’m sorry, Dean." He said in a rumbling voice, absolutely throwing Dean off kilter with both the low timber of his voice and the fact that this was the first full sentence he had ever spoken.

"For what, Alpha?" Dean asked curiously and Cas huffed.

"For attacking your brother, for harming your pack." He turned his big, blue eyes back to Dean and Dean had to swallow so as not to say anything stupid. "You are much too kind to let me stay here, you should throw me out."

Dean swallowed again and pretended that it wasn’t a gulp. The Alpha was much more articulate than Dean had expected and it was somehow such a turn-on. "Why? You gonna do it again?"

The Alpha quirked his lips and Dean could barely believe they were having this conversation; that they were having _any_ conversation. Dean had already gotten used to the Alpha being quiet and not talking in the human sense of the word but fuck, hearing his voice was _awesome_. Dean didn’t know if he liked Cas talking or making animalistic sounds to communicate more and he really hoped the two weren’t exclusive.

"Of course not." The Alpha mumbled but Dean could see that it was a hard-kept promise.

"It’s okay, Alpha." He said comfortingly and Cas glanced over at him. "No one was hurt so no harm’s done, okay? I get it, you were attacked before and you reacted out of instinct now, you were just protecting yourself."

"You."

"What?" Oh, Dean had heard alright. Had heard that one word as clear as if the Were had screamed it instead of mumbled it, but he really wanted a confirmation because fuck if his heart didn’t hammer harder and he didn’t want it to be for nothing.

But the Alpha just quirked his lips again and leaned back in the couch. "Thank you for letting me stay, I would like to remain here as long as you would let me."

Dean swallowed — for the fucking _umpteenth_ time — and decided to allow the conversation to continue without pressing, despite how much he wanted to.

"Even though you’ll have to wear a collar when we go out in public?" he said as teasingly as he could muster with his heart still hammering like that.

Cas surprised him by chuckling and fuck, that sound was just like melted, dark chocolate, all velvety smooth and wow, Dean sure was glad no one was there to hear his stupid thoughts. Instead of making more of an ass of himself, Dean quickly turned on the TV, flipping through channels rapidly.

He paused when he heard the Alpha make a pleased grunt. The TV was halted on a nature program about bees and Dean regarded the TV for a moment before turning to Cas.

"You like bees?" Cas answered with a little nonchalant half-shrug and Dean smiled to himself. "Me too." He said and put the remote down on the couch between them. "Why don’t we watch this for now?"

And fuck, Cas answered him with a satisfied purr that just wouldn’t end. Dean curled down into the couch, half-draping a blanket over himself and let himself be lulled to sleep by the Alpha’s comforting purr. It was a deep and reassuring sound and yeah, Dean kind of thought bee programs were boring as hell so he had no problem snoozing for a while.

When he woke it was much later and he barely resisted groaning at his sore neck. He peeked his eyes open only to catch Cas playing with the remote.

The Alpha was perched on the edge of the couch, staring intently at the device in his hand and mouthing as if trying to read the little words on it. Shit, Dean couldn’t deny how his chest got all warm watching the Were working it out on his own. After only a little fiddling, Cas pointed the remote to the TV like he had seen Dean do and the sound turned up suddenly, making the Alpha jump. He hissed at the TV and without prompting figured right the fuck out that the down arrow would lower the volume again.

Dean grinned when Cas made a huff and pointed the remote to the TV again, only to change the channel. This made the Alpha pause and he blinked at the TV for a moment before continuing up through the channels and then abruptly pushing the down arrow to go back and oh boy, when he noticed that he could indeed just backtrack he made such a pleased little sound that Dean couldn’t help laughing.

Cas snapped his head around to watch him and Dean kept grinning as he untangled himself from the blanket and sat up to stretch his arms above his head.

"Having fun?" he asked and almost, _almost_ , missed the way the Alpha tracked his movements. Self-consciously he lowered his arms again and nodded to the TV. "You figured this out on your own, huh?" he asked and Cas nodded slowly, as if he was unsure if it was okay for him to explore like this. "That’s awesome, Alpha." Dean beamed and fuck, Cas suddenly smiled much wider than he had before and it made Dean all fluttery. "I’ll have to tell Sam to bring you some real difficult games, you’re really smart." He stood up to leave before he could continue talking, feeling like he was saying much too much. "I’m going to bed; I sadly have to work again tomorrow."

Cas put the remote down on the coffee table and made to stand as well but Dean shook his head.

"You can stay up if you want to, keep playing around." He smiled down at the Were. "Just keep the volume down and remember that this," he pointed at the red button at the very top of the remote. "This turns the TV off when you’re done, okay?"

Cas nodded and made a happy little purr before picking the remote back up again. Man, Dean would never be able to wrap his mind around how this adorable — yes, he said it — creature was the same as the vicious predator that had almost mauled Sam just a few hours back.

So yeah, Dean went to bed after sending a quick text to Sam, not at all bragging about his intelligent Alpha or anything, just asking for some smart things for his smart Alpha. And okay, Dean had basically spent the evening sleeping on the couch so he wasn’t that tired but he just knew he wouldn’t be able to sit beside the Alpha and watch him and all his quirks without becoming too enamored — or enamored at all!

Jesus, this was getting out of hand…

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where a strictly _platonic_ arrangement is initiated

  
  


_Strong hands urged his hips on and Dean whimpered with the steady rhythm, wanting faster, harder, but still feeling so goddamn good._

_"Please." He moaned pathetically and felt a hot puff of breath against his neck. The body pressed against his back stuttered and fuck, the cock inside him jumped so wonderfully._

_"Beautiful." A deep, rough voice groaned against Dean’s sweat-soaked skin and Dean arched his back when the thrusts became rougher, faster._

_Dean pressed his face down against the bed beneath him and pushed his ass back to meet the thrusts, presenting like a bitch in heat._ Or an Omega, _he thought and sobbed desperately when he felt the pressure of a knot press against his rim. Oh, how he wanted it inside him, wanted to please and to be stuffed so full. His own dick quivered painfully and he whined at the back of his throat, shameless in his pleasure._

_"Knot me." He pressed out and the thrusts got even harder. "Want you to claim me."_

_The answering growl reverberated through Dean’s bones. "I will." Fuck, the thrusts were frantic now, jostling the whole bed and Dean could do nothing but hold on and fucking love it. He was so close he could taste it, his dick weeping every time that big cock pressed against his prostate. "Gonna claim you, breed you. Mine. My mate."_

_"F-_ fuck! _" Dean cried out when one of those strong hands wrapped around his aching dick, stroking it steadily and yesyespleaseyes, Dean was so there._

_"My Dean."_

_Dean’s eyes flew open and—_

  


And Dean woke with a start, gasping desperately as his dick pumped and he had to shove a hand down his boxers, stroking furiously one, two times before spilling all over himself with a deep groan. It felt so liberating Dean all but sobbed there at the end and caught himself in the last second before saying Cas’ name out loud. _Fuck_. That had definitely been a dangerous dream.

Oh, he had dreamed about Alphas knotting him several times before but never had the dream-Alpha known his name and never had the Were wanted to mate Dean. That… that was definitely Dean’s subconscious being a total asshole. Just because Cas had accepted Dean’s invitation to stay, just because Sam had accepted Cas’ presence, just because Cas had been totally, unbelievably adorable flipping through the channels — _none_ of that gave Dean _any_ right. Just… Fuck.

He groaned and rubbed his face tiredly, getting up and deciding that he could just be early for work today. Bobby would appreciate Dean coming in an hour earlier and he wasn’t really in the mood to sleep anymore. Not with that dream so fresh in his memory and not after all the sleeping he had done the evening before.

So he got out of bed and turned off the alarm as he passed it, sure that that must have been what had woken the Alpha the other day. He didn’t get far, though, because the second after he had opened the bedroom door he promptly tripped and fell because right there, right outside Dean’s door, was Cas, sleeping on the floor. Well, not so much sleeping anymore as waking up startlingly fast.

"Alpha?" Dean asked from where he lay sprawled half on top of the Were.

Cas grunted in response and turned around but made no move to push Dean off. Dean, however, immediately became acutely aware of how his come-soaked boxers now were pressed right up against Cas’ naked side. He shot to his feet so fast it actually hurt more than falling down in the first place.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked nervously and tugged at the hem of his sleeping tee, as if that would cover anything. The Alpha blinked and looked around himself before meeting Dean’s eyes. "You shouldn’t sleep on the floor, it’ll hurt your back." Dean all but squeaked when he thought he saw Cas seeing the wet spot and yes, Dean totally bolted after that.

Man, that was an awkward breakfast and Dean spent the day completely nervous about most everything. But he did manage to pull Bobby to the side and basically tell him the same lie he had told Sam. And Bobby had about the same questions as Sam had had before he congratulated Dean on his "purchase". Dean really wished people would stop referring to Cas like that.

And of course Bobby blabbed so Dean had to spend his lunch telling Garth and Rufus all about his new Were. He stressed the part about Cas being abused and on edge, though, effectively warding them off surprise visits. He wanted the Alpha to meet everyone important in his life but not in one day.

When he got back home everything was completely normal and Dean even managed to suppress any and all thoughts about that fucking dream. Yeah, his middle name should seriously be _compartmentalization_ …

He spent the evening teaching Cas about the coffee maker and making them enough dinner for them to have left-overs for the next day. He noted that he should go to the grocery store but put it off for now, wanting to stay with the Alpha and thinking that bringing the Were to something as confusing as a grocery store should wait a little while longer.

  
  


*****

  
  


The next day Dean was still as surprised to find the Alpha outside his door but at least he didn’t trip over him. He stopped dead at the door and stared down at Cas as the Alpha rolled around and stretched languidly.

"Uh…"

Cas stood up and yawned silently before tottering off into the kitchen and fuck if Dean didn’t hear the coffee maker gurgling to life just a few minutes later.

"Okay." He muttered and dragged himself to the bathroom and later work, confused but figuring it would solve itself.

Sam came over that evening, bringing with him a whole bag of things and a greeting from Jess, telling Dean he was a klutz for not telling them sooner. Dean just grinned and let Sam in, calling for Cas to join them in the kitchen.

"So these books are for you." Sammy piled books so high on the kitchen table that Dean was actually afraid it was going to break. "And here I have for you, Alpha." He continued and pushed some thinner books, that Dean totally wasn’t envious of, over to Cas where he sat on the other side of the round table.

On a closer inspection Dean noticed that it was books to help Cas learn how to read and write. They looked to be for kiddies or pups but he supposed everyone had to start at that level. Or, if Cas had had a decent owner since he was little, he would already know how to read, just like Anna.

"Awesome." Dean beamed as Cas lifted the books to tentatively scent them, as he did with everything new. "I’m gonna help you, no worries."

"Yeah." Sam agreed and proceeded with picking up a few toys from his bag. Nothing much because, let’s face it, Cas was an adult, but still something to keep his brain and reflexes sharp. A Rubik’s Cube, three balls for juggling and an old Nintendo Gameboy.

"Wow." Dean gingerly picked up the Gameboy as Sammy was pushing the toys over to where Cas sat and tried to make sense of the books.

"Hey." Sam slapped the Gameboy out of Dean’s hands and replaced it with a collar. "That’s not for you."

"‘M guessing this ain’t either." Dean muttered and turned the collar over in his hand. It was soft leather, brown with a belt lock that Dean immediately knew any Were with even half of Cas’ intelligence would know how to open. Still, it felt smooth and comfortable and not as scratchy as those synthetic material collars Dean had seen many Weres wear. "This kinda looks like Anna’s collar."

Sam smiled. "It’s because we bought it at the same store. She didn’t like it, though, said it was too heavy around her neck so she’s barely used it. Figured it would be more suited to a strong Alpha."

And yeah, that was totally the way to go about making any Alpha do anything, Dean knew. Ask them pretty please or flatter them. And yet, somehow Dean thought that Cas would agree to do a lot of things if it was just thoroughly justified. Cas was definitely one of those Weres that could be reasoned with, even if he was the first Alpha Dean had heard about to exhibit that trait.

"Whaddya say, Alpha? Do you…" he trailed off when he turned to Cas and saw that the Alpha had picked up the Rubik’s Cube and already figured out the purpose, one side completely green as he turned and twisted the cube to line up the other colors as well. Sam quieted too and stared with Dean as Cas worked out how he couldn’t turn it that way or the green would be broken.

The tip of his tongue poked out between his lips and his brow was knitted in concentration but his movements slowed after only a short moment and he raised his head to meet the mute brothers’ stares. Slowly, he pulled his tongue back into his mouth and put the cube down on the table. They just kept staring at each other for a moment, Dean well aware that his jaw had dropped a little. Cas responded by making a questioning sound and pushed the cube away a little.

The sound pulled Dean out of his daze and he whipped around to grin at his brother. "Didn’t I tell you?" he exclaimed proudly and picked up the cube to flaunt it in Sammy’s smiling face. "Smartest Alpha you’ve ever seen."

Sam laughed and plucked the cube from Dean’s hand. "I got it, I got it." He met Dean’s grin with one of his own and handed the toy back to a very confused Cas. "This is great, Alpha." He praised and Dean was totally the one to puff out his chest. Cas, on the other hand, was looking between the brothers and kind of sunk in on himself the more they praised him.

"Bet he’s gonna breeze through these books, Sammy." Dean flipped carelessly through the training books and Sam was shaking his head fondly at his bragging older brother. "Did I tell you about the TV?"

"Yeah, you wouldn’t stop yapping about it." Sam snickered when Dean poked his tongue out.

"I’m sorry."

Both brothers immediately stopped bantering when the Alpha’s deep voice spoke up for the first time that day. Sam’s eyes rounded out and yeah, Dean guessed he had kind of forgotten to tell his little brother that the Were actually talked, when he wanted to.

"What are you sorry about?" Sam asked carefully and Dean turned to face Cas fully, only now growing aware of the Alpha’s apparent uncomfortableness.

And Dean’s heart ached with the way Cas had drawn his shoulders down, making himself small and Dean never wanted him to look like that. Cas stared down at the table.

"Hey." Dean said softly and gently brushed his fingertips against the back of Cas’ hand. "Tell me, Alpha."

"I’m not… Not a proper Alpha." Cas bit out in his growl and Dean felt like he took an arrow to the heart.

"What?" he asked and turned helplessly to Sammy, who for some reason nodded. What in the fucking hell?

"Because Alphas aren’t curious?" Sam said but it sounded like a question so Dean let him continue even though he kind of didn’t want him to. "Because Alphas protect, they fight for their pack. If anyone was supposed to be intellectual, it’d be a Beta, right?"

"Right." The Alpha agreed without meeting their gazes and Dean didn’t like that one bit. Someone had seriously beaten Cas up about this, Dean could tell with one glance. The usually proud Alpha was replaced by this meek creature and Dean wanted to murder whoever had put those ideas in Cas’ head.

"That’s not true." Dean stated heatedly and Cas looked over to him, his eyes wide and so very blue. "I mean, that’s the norm but fuck the norm, okay?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded and met Cas’ eyes head on when the Alpha turned to him. "You don’t have to be like everyone else, or like someone expects you to be. Just look at Dean."

Cas turned obediently to study Dean like he had done so many times before and Dean wondered not for the first time what the Were saw when he looked so intently at him.

"What about me?" he pressed out and Sam sighed a little.

"Dean’s not the norm either." Sam explained and Cas thankfully shifted his intense stare over to him. "Dean likes cars, works as a mechanic, is a red-blooded American right down to loving apple pie but he’s also a homosexual. Do you know what that means?"

Cas shook his head and Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, not even sure if he wanted Sam outing him to the Alpha like this. Sure, he was very comfortable in his sexuality but there had been a time when he, too, had been unsure of himself and had sought everyone else’s approval. And somehow Cas rejecting him because of this would feel like a huge step back.

"It means I’m sexually attracted to men." He muttered and Cas tilted his head to the side in his confused pose. "Like, I can’t have sex with women because they just…" he gestured vaguely down at his crotch, half-hidden beneath the table. "They just don’t do it for me."

"See?" Sam asked and Cas nodded slowly but Dean could see he still wasn’t really understanding. Maybe because he wasn’t seeing how this related to him or maybe because he didn’t understand why Dean sleeping with men could be considered wrong by some people. Hell, male Omegas were just as common as female Omegas so Cas had probably slept with a lot of men and not thought twice about it. From what Dean could gather Weres weren’t picky like that because procreation, man.

"What Sammy’s trying to say is that most humans will look at me and assume I’m a straight, ladies man but I’m not. And I don’t have to be, it’s okay to not be the way people assume."

"Right." Sam said with emphasis. "Because what’s to say what the norm is anyway? Just because Dean likes men he has to talk in a high-pitched voice and wear pink or maybe be a butch in leather? Or just because he’s straight he has to do the opposite? And why would his appearance or interests have to dictate how and who he loves? None of that should matter."

Dean took a chance and grabbed the Alpha’s hand. Cas just looked at him and Dean smiled as reassuringly as he could. "You just go on a be a smart Alpha and I’ll go on being an awesome gay dude, okay? And fuck the rest."

Sam snorted out a laugh and reached for the Rubik’s cube, messing up the colors again. "Yeah, fuck ‘em." He said and put the cube down in front of Cas again. "Show me how you solved the green side."

Cas’ eyes lit up and he set to work immediately, his content purr filling the otherwise silent kitchen, and Dean threw Sam a thankful glance, his little brother only winking in return.

  
  


*****

  
  


For the third morning in a row, Dean opened his door to find the half-clad Alpha sleeping on the floor outside his bedroom. This time he just stood there for a moment, unsure of what exactly was going on. When Cas had been healing he had tucked himself under the bed and Dean guessed he kind of got that. Kind of like how scared cats would sometimes seek out a small, tight space to feel safe.

So that was that and after that the Alpha had stayed in the guest bedroom so Dean had assumed he had used the bed but then again, he hadn’t been in there to confirm it so he couldn’t know for sure. Maybe the Alpha liked sleeping on the floor, though, and Dean was down with that. He just couldn’t figure out why Cas had moved out of the guest bedroom — which Dean would have been inclined to call Cas’ room now if only the Alpha would sleep in there during the night — and onto the floor out in the hall. He knew the Alpha spent time in the room during the days and he knew that Cas had taken everything Sam had given him and put it away in the room so what was wrong with sleeping in there?

If he didn’t know better he would have thought Cas was scared to sleep alone, like maybe he was scared of the dark, but Dean really didn’t think so. Okay, so maybe Cas wasn’t a conventional Alpha but he was certainly not a wimp. In fact, Dean would never understand how Cas could see himself as a failure of an Alpha. He had fucking defended their home from an invader for Christ’s sake.

The thought made Dean take pause and he poked Cas in the side, making the Were snort himself awake.

"Morning sunshine." He grinned and just chuckled at Cas’ glare. Man, the Were was really not a morning person and Dean couldn’t help but poke fun at that. And somehow Cas’ glares had started losing their effect on Dean. Oh, he was pretty sure Cas could throw a death glare if he wanted to but the longer they spent in each other’s company, the more acquainted Dean got with the Alpha’s tells and learned how to interpret them. Sure, Cas could talk but there was so much more to him than that. Subtle gestures, subtle sounds, subtle shifts in his expressions. Dean thought that if he paid enough attention he would soon be able to understand Cas as clearly as if the Alpha had been screaming at him, even if all the Were did was look at him.

Man, it was really refreshing to be with someone who basically didn’t know how to lie.

"Coffee?" he asked and watched overly fondly how the Alpha rubbed his eyes and stretched before once again walking in the direction of the kitchen.

Dean was contemplating whether to introduce Cas to coffee or not. He wasn’t sure what the caffeine would do to the unprepared Alpha’s physique and he thought he probably should read those goddamn books that he had ignored them the night before in favor of trying to ignore his much more insistent dick.

But yeah, Dean loved coffee and he loved beer so he would like to share that with Cas. So far he had only given the Alpha water, milk and juice, all of which Cas gulped down as eagerly as a parched man.

They had breakfast in comfortable silence, Cas still working on the Rubik’s Cube with a patience Dean never could have mustered.

"We can look at those training books Sam brought when I get home, if you want." He suggested just as he was gathering his things to leave. Cas quirked his lips and nodded, making Dean smile broadly. "And I’m going to the store after work, is there something you want? Like food and stuff?"

Cas mulled this over for a pretty long while and Dean supposed he should have given him more options because how the hell would the Alpha know what Checkers Foods had in stock?

"Honey?" he asked eventually and Dean couldn’t help grinning.

"You want honey? Sure, I’ll buy you some." He turned to open the door but stopped to turn around in the last moment. "You know," he said thoughtfully. "I think I remember how mom used to make honey roasted baby back ribs, would you like to try that?"

Cas’ jaw worked for a moment, clearly trying out the words and Dean assumed he knew _honey_ and _ribs_ and that he was trying to piece together what Dean was aiming at.

And just as Dean was about to explain it further Cas started up his pleased purr, making Dean heated all over.

"Great." He mumbled through a grin and hoped to high Heavens that he wasn’t blushing as he left for work. "Remember not to open the door for anyone but me and Sammy." He threw over his shoulder and imagined he could hear an amused grunt coming through Cas’ purr before the Alpha closed and locked the door securely.

That evening they spent a lot of time in the kitchen, first making ribs and then going through the books and mainly learning the alphabet. Dean was pleased with the Alpha’s progress as they later went to bed and he really thought he should take a page from the Were and settle down to read those goddamn books. Most were about Weres and one was actually on Alphas so it should be interesting.

 _Tomorrow_ , Dean thought as he climbed into bed. He was off work tomorrow so he could spend the whole day reading and helping Cas whenever he needed it. It would be nice, he thought, their first whole day together and oh boy, Dean really ought to get himself under control…

He fell asleep much faster than usual but woke not much later; feeling his bladder tug in a way it usually only did when he had been drinking too much beer. Groaning in dissatisfaction he flicked on the bedside lamp and dragged himself out of bed. Again he very nearly tripped over Cas’ sleeping form outside the door.

The Alpha woke with a start and his eyes shone unnaturally in the barely reflected light from inside Dean’s room.

"You know," Dean said tiredly because he was just so damn sleepy and this was some confusing shit right here. "You should sleep under your covers, you could catch a cold. And for God’s sake, use a pillow."

He stumbled off to the bathroom to relieve himself and when he got back Cas was nowhere to be seen. He shrugged and recognized in the back of his mind that if he hadn’t been so goddamn tired he would be worried. He was more tired now, however, and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When he woke the next morning the memories surged back and he immediately felt bad. Shit, he didn’t even know why Cas was sleeping out there and he had just snarked at him. Dean was an insensitive bastard and don’t think he didn’t know it.

"Fuck." He muttered and hurried out of bed to open the door only to stop in his tracks when he was confronted with a ball of blankets and pillows outside his door. "What the…?" he lifted the covers and sure enough, beneath it all Cas had snuggled up.

He turned at the sound of Dean’s voice and blinked sleepily at him. Man, his hair was all tousled and his eyes bleary from sleep and he looked fucking gorgeous, okay?

"Whatcha doing, Alpha?" Dean asked softly, squatting down to sit beside the Were. "Why don’t you sleep in your room? Is it not good enough for you?"

Cas sat up and rubbed his face, glancing between Dean and what could be seen of the front door from this angle. Dean tracked his gaze and frowned in confusion before he suddenly thought he understood.

"Are you guarding me?" he asked, stupidly breathless all of a sudden but by the way Cas avoided his eyes he knew it was true. Holy fucking shit, this awesome, handsome, powerful _Alpha_ was choosing to sleep on the floor just to keep Dean safe. "Well, that’s just…" Dean tried to clear his throat when the words came out in a croak.

Cas turned to look at him with his head tilted to the side, confusion now etching his features and Dean wanted so badly to smooth the lines out. Wanted to, _fuck_ , wanted to kiss the Alpha’s confusion away. Dean licked his lips self-consciously.

"You don’t have to, no one can hurt us in here. This is safe."

Cas huffed and bared his teeth momentarily, clearly not believing that to be true. Dean carded his fingers through his hair.

"Well, I can’t have you sleeping on the floor, Alpha. It’s not healthy."

Cas crossed his arms and managed to look both petulant and determined at the same time. It did nothing good to Dean’s libido. Really, he was only in his late twenties and confronted with his guilty pleasure but it was ridiculous how he was popping fucking boners all the goddamn time.

Dean drew a deep breath and knew even before he had finished the thought that this was a _bad_ idea.

"I’m not going to get you to stop protecting me anytime soon, am I?" he asked carefully and watched with blood rushing in his ears how Cas shook his head. "Well, I want you to sleep in a bed, what are we going to do about that?"

The Alpha just pressed his lips together, clearly standing his ground and Dean stood up with a new sigh.

"Why don’t you just… Well you can sleep in my bed if you want to." Epically _bad_ idea right there. "It’s big enough for two and you can protect me while at the same time not wrecking your back, how about that?"

Part of Dean wanted the Were to scoff at the suggestion, insinuating condescendingly how infinitely stupid the notion of them sharing a bed was. But of course not.

No, Cas just stood up and gathered all his pillows and blankets and fucking walked right into Dean’s room as if he had only been waiting for an invitation. He rummaged around on the bed, clearly making a nest of all the blankets, Dean’s included, and piled the pillows high before snuggling right the fuck up. Dean’s mouth had never been dryer than when he tentatively returned to the bed and peeked at the Alpha.

An Alpha, in Dean’s bed. Sleeping with him there every night. Yeah, Dean was sure to keep this fucking platonic.

"You comfortable there?" Dean asked and tried to sound teasing but it only sounded like a new croak to him.

Cas peeked up at him and kicked around until he had made a spot for Dean as well, patting it invitingly. The spot was on the far side of the bed so that Cas would sleep in-between Dean and the door and Dean kind of wanted to argue that Cas was on Dean’s side but what would be the fucking point?

So yes, Dean totally got in the bed with the Alpha and yes, Cas totally started up his purring the moment Dean had stopped fidgeting.

Dean gulped and stared up at the ceiling, trying to remember how to breathe so as not to encourage his dick to chubby up in this strictly platonic-as-shit situation.

If he wasn’t already for suggesting something as asinine as this, Dean was sure to go insane.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You would let me meet your pack?”

  
  


It took all of three days before Dean had his first extremely inappropriate morning wood. Oh, he woke up hard every morning; it was difficult not to when Cas was sleeping so closely, making all these little noises in his sleep and smelling frankly delicious. But this day he woke up in an almost panicked state, his dick aching so bad he felt as if it was going to break off.

He made a little whine and rolled ungracefully to the side, careful not to jostle the little barrier he built every night between himself and the Alpha. Cas didn’t seem to mind but only seemed to view it as Dean’s own version of a nest but Dean really needed that little rolled up blanket between them. Otherwise he feared he would snuggle up in his sleep and expose his shameful secret by dry-humping the Alpha.

That they had spent every evening close together in the kitchen, working with Cas’ books or curled up on the couch together, watching Dr. Sexy or nature shows did nothing to quench said secret. Also, the fact that the Alpha was still very protective over Dean and insisted on sleeping in the same bed even though no new threat had emerged made Dean all gooey inside. So dangerous, so delicious.

Dean almost thought he had made it and would be able to sneak away without waking Cas — which would be a first — when the Were turned and gave an answering whine.

"Go back to sleep, Alpha." Dean shushed gently and tried to untangle himself from his blanket without making more noises, which proved difficult when his erection got trapped against his leg and oh God, the _friction_.

"What’s wrong?" Cas asked and fuck no, Dean couldn’t deal with the Alpha’s whiskey-rough voice right now. It was bad enough listening to Cas on a normal day, his voice fucking flowing all over Dean’s senses and whatnot, but all sleepy like this? All gruff and low and Dean was leaking in his boxers and he was sure the Alpha could smell it.

"Nothing’s wrong, Alpha." Dean gritted out and practically threw the covers to the side. "Just gotta pee ‘s all."

Dean was half-way around the bed and trying to hide his extremely insistent boner when Cas sat up on the bed. His hair stood on end and he blinked tiredly at Dean, his expression soft and so goddamn _Alpha_ in a way most Alphas were not. Kind, trusting, almost fucking adorable. Those were not traits Dean would have thought to associate with an Alpha and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was because his notion of Alphas was wrong or if Cas was just his own person; if all Weres were in fact their own persons and not so guided by their subgenders as humans liked to believed.

Also, Cas’ almost fond look amped Dean’s arousal up to the breaking point and Dean hurtled himself out of the room, afraid he wouldn’t reach the bathroom in time.

And of course Dean’s suddenly very panicked movements put Cas on high alert. Dean could hear the Alpha moving in the bedroom and fuck Dean really couldn’t hold it. He stopped about half-way, leaned against the wall and unceremoniously shoved a hand down his boxers, grasping his dick. The strokes were hurried and rough and they sent delicious pleasure up his spine, almost blinding him. He gasped pathetically when he came after absolutely no time and his spunk spurted out to cling to his hand and boxers but luckily nothing got anywhere else.

He stood in a blissed out, euphoric state all about ten seconds before he heard footsteps behind him.

"Dean?" Cas asked in a suddenly much lower voice. Dangerous, even.

Dean jerked and hastily pulled his hand out of his boxers but didn’t dare turn around and meet the Alpha’s eyes.

"It’s fine, Alpha. Leave me alone." Dean bit out and fled the last steps to the bathroom only to slam the door shut and lock it, leaning on it and breathing as harshly as if he had been running a marathon. Fuck.

Dean felt extremely guilty for all of this. Letting Cas think he would be safe in a bed with a pervert like Dean, not being able to control his fucking body, coming out there in the hall like a goddamn teenager. But nothing made him feel as guilty as when Cas stopped outside the bathroom and gave a questioning whine and Dean _didn’t answer him_. Fuck, the small sigh that escaped Cas, which sounded nothing like all the other disappointed sighs Dean had ever heard before, almost made Dean cry.

He turned around and rested his forehead against the door but before he could think of something soothing to say he heard Cas moving away from the door. This wasn’t right. Dean had invited this Alpha into his home and he should be taking care of him, or at least not behaving like a grade-A douche. It wasn’t Cas’ fault that Dean was sick in the head and if he wasn’t careful the Alpha might just realize that he probably was better off somewhere else and he would leave. And somehow, despite the fact that they had only been living together for like one and a half week, the prospect of Cas leaving made Dean’s knees weak, and not in a good way.

Fuck, Dean needed to get his shit together.

With a sigh he peeled off his sweaty and come-soaked clothes and jumped in the shower. He wasn’t even sure what time it was but he was off work today so he supposed the time didn’t matter that much. It wasn’t until he was in the shower, however, that he suddenly realized that he had locked the door. This was the first time he had done that since Cas came to stay with him. Cas of course didn’t lock the bathroom door because his sense of modesty wasn’t very attuned to humans but strangely enough Dean hadn’t bothered with it either. Not when he showered, not when he peed or shaved or brushed his teeth. Not even when he took a shit had he bothered to lock the door. But he had today and he knew that Cas had noticed and that the Alpha had interpreted it as something it probably was not because shit, Dean wasn’t trying to shut the Were out, he just didn’t want Cas to know how his presence affected Dean. Didn’t want to freak the Alpha out.

He sighed and bowed his head under the stream. This day was really turning out fucking _great_. Maybe he should just confess to Cas. Not about the Alpha-fetish but maybe just tell him that Dean had woken up aroused and been uncomfortable to be in that state in the Alpha’s presence. In _anyone’s_ presence. Just lie and say that he saw Cas as a brother or something — not a pet, though — and that sporting a massive hard-on lying beside him in bed was awkward. Yeah, that was totally for the best. Tell him how Dean had needs that he would rather take care of himself and totally not tell the Alpha how every night when they went to bed Dean secretly hoped that would be the night Cas snapped and pushed Dean face first down into the mattress and humped him with his big Alpha knot pressed between Dean’s ass cheeks.

Definitely not tell him how Dean dreamed of Cas growling obscenities in Dean’s ear as he plowed him, marked him, used him. How he would make Dean scream like an Omega in heat, begging the big, bad Alpha to breed him full of puppies, how he longed for the Alpha to hold him and kiss his neck tenderly, purring until Dean fell asleep so satisfied and safe, feeling comforted in the way only his Alpha could make him.

Yeah, Dean should totally _not_ tell Cas any of that. Should tell him the opposite and try to sort out the mess his impromptu morning jerk off had made.

When Dean ten minutes later walked out of the bathroom he was surprised to smell coffee. He had thought Cas would have gone back to bed or maybe just gone into the guest bedroom, shutting himself in.

But no, when Dean came into the kitchen he found Cas there, making a mess of trying to prepare a sandwich. The coffee maker was ready and Dean’s favorite mug stood beside it. On the table in front of Dean’s usual spot stood a bowl and a closer inspection revealed severely soggy cereal.

"I’m sorry I messed up."

Dean’s attention snapped to the Alpha and for a moment Dean wondered what exactly he was referring to. Their morning wake-up? The cereal? The counter where remnants of Cas’ sandwich could be seen all over the place?

Dean decided to take the safe way out. "It’s okay, Alpha, we all mess up sometimes." He said calmly and smiled a little while he poured his coffee and sat down in front of the cereal. He was honestly doubting whether he could eat it at all but Cas’ next words kind of sealed the deal.

"I know it’s not easy for you to have me here and I just… I just wanted to make you food, like you do for me. But it’s not crunchy like you want it, I don’t know what I did wrong."

Yeah, there was no way Dean wasn’t eating the cereal now. Not when Cas thought he had been in the wrong following Dean like that and when he had tried to make Dean breakfast as an apology. And then fucking outright apologized too. Dean wasn’t heartless.

He picked up the spoon Cas had placed beside the bowl and took a big mouthful, making a show of eating it even though it felt like wet paper on his tongue. The Alpha sat down slowly across from Dean, a tentative smile playing on his lips, awaiting his verdict.

"You should wait to pour on the milk until the last moment, just before you eat it." Dean said between bites and smiled again when Cas looked so attentively at him. Like this was Human Food 101 and the Alpha _needed_ to pass. "As for the other stuff, I’m sorry I yelled at you." Dean looked down and tried to filter away some of the milk for his next bite. "I’m not gonna lie, I really like it that you’re staying but it’s a difficult adjustment for the both of us, okay?"

Cas nodded. "Okay." He agreed but somehow Dean didn’t get the feeling he was agreeing to all of what Dean had said. Like maybe it wasn’t such a difficult adjustment for him. It sure was different but did that mean difficult? Maybe not for the Alpha and if Dean was honest, despite his libido-related problems, this wasn’t half as difficult as he had expected it to be. Cas just kind of fit into Dean’s life without much problem at all.

Dean didn’t say any of that, though, just smiled over his coffee and watched how Cas’ eyes twinkled in the way they did when he was smiling on the inside.

"You know," Dean started casually when he had — finally — finished the cereal. "I was thinking that if you were up for it we could visit Sam and Jess today. They have a Beta that I’d like you to meet and," he shrugged. "And they’re my family, like my pack. I want you to know them."

Cas perked up at that, his smile reaching his lips and oh boy, he looked really good. All eager and perky and Dean’s stomach felt fluttery.

"Really?" Cas asked and leaned forwards a little. "You would let me meet your pack?"

Dean laughed a little. "Of course, Alpha." He shook his head fondly when it looked like Cas would have waggled his tail if he’d had one. "It’s not very big and it’s odd but it’s family. I’d like…" he harrumphed self-consciously when he realized what he was about to say and that he really wanted to say it. "I’d like you to become a part of it, for as long as you’d like."

Okay, that look right there, the look that Cas gave him which was so full of admiration and fucking loyal devotion, that was some fucking dangerous shit right there. Because if Dean wasn’t careful he might be inclined to believe that the Alpha was trying to convey something with that look. Something that Dean was only projecting on the poor Were, something Dean so desperately wanted and that he had no business wanting. Something wrong that would feel so right.

"I would like that as well." Cas whispered and Dean knew that this right here was not something that Weres took lightly, especially not Ferals who lived their whole lives in actual packs and not like Domesticated Weres where humans controlled everything.

What was more concerning about this was how readily Cas had accepted Dean’s invitation. Of course, if they were going to pretend that Dean was the owner, then it would be prudent to pretend that Cas believed he was in Dean’s pack as well, as all Domesticated Weres thought like that. And that he had agreed to belong to Dean’s pack for real was even greater but why had he? Didn’t he really have a pack of his own? Dean wanted so desperately to ask but thought they had had enough emotional turmoil for one day.

"Great." Dean exclaimed and watched how Cas smile the widest smile yet, his eyes sparkling. "They’re gonna love you. Can’t wait until you meet Anna, that’s the Beta, she’s so smart."

Cas nodded. "And Jess?"

"That’s Sam’s fiancée." Dean said as he got up to get more coffee. "Or mate, I guess." He winked and Cas nodded again. "Later you’ll meet Bobby and Ellen too, and their daughter Jo. They’re the family that took me and Sam in when…" he stopped to take a big breath. Wow, hadn’t really expected to feel so sad all of a sudden. But just thinking about how his parent would never meet Cas just kind of stung.

Suddenly Cas was by Dean’s side, pressing close into Dean’s personal space but not close enough to touch.

"Tell me." He said and there was something in his tone of voice that made Dean want to tell him, even though Dean hated talking about this. He suspected Cas was using his Alpha voice but instead of feeling miffed, Dean only felt comforted.

"They died." He cleared his throat but Cas only watched him patiently. "My birthparents, there was a house fire and mom didn’t make it out. Dad died a few days later from smoke inhalation. Me ‘n Sammy, we moved in with Bobby and Ellen and…" he paused to inhale deeply because talking about it out loud, even in such flat words, hurt more than it ought to after so long.

When Cas started up his purring Dean just kind of turned to the Alpha and let the Were press in closer. The tone of the purr was different than before, Dean noticed absentmindedly, more comforting than happy, but he liked it all the same. Liked it enough to close his eyes and just kind of inhale the spicy, musky scent of the Alpha.

"I was just sixteen and Sam twelve." He continued in a murmur. "We were scared and sad and everything hurt for so long. But Bobby and Ellen are really good people, without them I think it would have been impossible but it’s okay now."

He drew a shuddering breath and realized that it would probably never be okay to lose his parents the way he had. But at least he still had a family, his little brother was safe and well, and now he even had an Alpha purring in his kitchen.

There were suddenly fingers in his hair, gently brushing through the short locks and he peered at the Alpha who seemed content with scraping his fingers alone Dean’s skull.

"Are you grooming me?" he asked amusedly, knowing full well that Weres groomed their peers, for comfort or relaxation or, apparently, to soothe sorrows.

Cas’ hand froze and he looked sheepishly at Dean before stepping away and stopping his purr. "Sorry." He said and Dean shook his head fondly.

"Don’t be, I was just asking."

Cas made a little sound that Dean didn’t know but interpreted as somewhere between content and tentative. "I’m sorry for your losses."

Dean tried to shrug casually and thought he succeeded. "It’s okay, it was a long time ago. Life goes on, right?"

Cas’ lips quirked but Dean could see the Alpha was too clever to believe Dean’s nonchalant attitude. But also definitely smart enough to know when enough was enough.

"I would very much like to meet your pack, and the people who took care of you when you needed help."

"Great." Dean said again and put down his coffee mug on the counter. "Even if it means you’ll have to wear a collar outside?"

Cas made a face. "Even if I have to wear a collar." He agreed.

"And pretend I’m your owner?"

"And pretend you’re my owner."

Dean laughed at the Alpha’s amused expression. "And you don’t have to worry about the collar, it’s only for show, no shocking."

Dean was referring to the way many of the collars made for Weres, especially Alphas, were equipped with little strands of metal capable of delivering Taser-level shocking to a misbehaving Were by the mere click of a button on a remote the owner would carry. Dean didn’t like that and Sam had always said it was barbaric so their Beta only had a regular collar. Sam had always claimed that if you expected your Were to misbehave to the point where you might have to shock him or her, then maybe you should rethink your training methods. Dean wholly agreed and when he saw the relieved look on Cas’ face he knew it would be the right decision to put Cas in the collar Sam had given them. Only soft leather with an easy clasp. Nothing to hurt the Were or break their trust.

"How about you wash up a little and I’ll go call Sam to see if they’re up for a visit today? Throw those sweats in the hamper and I’ll find you something else to wear."

Cas made an agreeing grunt and walked out of the kitchen. As he passed Dean realized that they might have to find him something more to wear too. He had stayed in the blue sweats Dean had given him and still refused t-shirts but if they were going outside Dean thought that he might have to force the Alpha into some clothes that actually covered more. Not that Dean didn’t like having a half-naked Alpha around but he was honestly thinking that while some might not like it, even more would probably like it just as much as he did. And Dean didn’t like sharing.

So as he dialed Sam’s number he went looking for more clothes and decided that he probably should see if Cas wasn’t inclined to wear boxers too. As it was now he was sleeping in his sweats too and it was becoming unsanitary, not to mention how warm it would have to be for him. Not that Dean was about to ask him to take the sweats off as they went to bed. He did _not_ need that level of exposure, thank you very much. Still, he should probably take Cas to a store and buy him some clothes that actually fit his lithe form.

Sam answered just as Dean was tossing T-shirts over his shoulder.

"Fancy you being up now."

"Shut up, bitch." Dean grumbled, not really fancying a reminder of why exactly he was up now, whatever the time. "I was thinking of bringing Cas over, would that be okay with you?"

He could practically hear his little brother thinking. So the first time he had met the Alpha had been a little disastrous and he had just met Cas one other time after that but Dean had thought it went really well. He could tell the Were actually liked Sammy and he knew that even though Sam was protective over his little family, he liked the Alpha as well.

"How is he?"

Sometimes Dean thought he really knew his brother too well. "Much better, you saw yourself when you were over with the books."

"That’s true." Sam mused and Dean could hear movement in the background, two female voices that Dean quickly identified as Jess and Anna.

"Hey, ask the girls if they’re okay with a visit today."

Sam sighed, defeated before he had even started and Dean smirked to himself. "I don’t have to ask to know what they’ll say." There were more sounds in the background and the phone rustled as Sam moved it away from his mouth. "I’m talking to Dean." He heard Sammy say and Jess answered something that Dean didn’t hear. "Today? Okay." He sighed again and was suddenly back in Dean’s ear. "Jess would like to have you over for coffee later today."

"Convenient." Dean said and couldn’t keep the smirk out of his tone.

"Jess says to come by at two."

"Will do." Dean mumbled and decided to stop looking for socks because he might not even have shoes that would fit Cas and maybe the Alpha didn’t even want to wear shoes. He would just have to wait until Cas got out of the shower to ask him. "Hey, do you know where I can get an Alpha tag? Pet stores?"

Dean was referring to the little metal or plastic clip that was supposed to be attached to the collar to show the subgender of the Were. It wasn’t strictly law to have it on but most people had it anyway, to ease introductions if nothing else. Different Weres expected different treatments, despite what their origin was, and the clips just made everything smoother. Dean hadn’t thought about it until now, not really doubting anyone would miss that Cas was an Alpha with the way he was carrying himself. On the other hand, some people were assholes and Cas could act almost uncharacteristically kind for an Alpha so a clip would probably be for the best. He supposed he would have to go out and buy one before they went to Sam and Jess’ but Sam stopped his train of thoughts with the most obnoxious sigh Dean had ever heard.

"What?"

"I paper-clipped an Alpha tag to the first page of the Alpha book I gave you so now I _know_ you haven’t read it. Shame on you, Dean."

Dean straightened and walked over to the books that were still stacked high beside his bed and sure enough, on the inside of the book Sam was referring to was a round tag, red to signal Alpha as opposed to green and blue for Beta and Omega respectively.

"There we go." He said and ignored how Sam groused on the other end. "Oh come on, Sammy. I’ve been helping Cas with the alphabet, haven’t had time to read."

"Sure you haven’t."

"Did you know he can recite the whole alphabet now?" Dean bragged as he walked into the guest bedroom to pull out the collar from the bag of toys Sam had brought. Cas had only been interested in the Rubik’s cube so the rest was still in here while the cube lay half-finished out on the coffee table in the living room. The Alpha worked on it most evenings as they watched TV and sometimes Dean watched him working the cube more than he watched the TV. Cas’ nimble fingers were very fascinating.

"He’s very smart." Sam said thoughtfully. "I thought teaching him to read and write would be more difficult considering his age but this is great."

"I know." Dean said in his most gloating voice as if they were somehow comparing toys. "Anyway, I’m gonna see if I can manage to put him in anything else besides my sweats but don’t expect wonders."

"Take him to that shop on West 6th, behind Applebee’s. They sell really good clothes for Weres at reasonable prices."

"Sure, thanks." Dean mumbled as he fumbled with clipping on the tag on the collar. He didn’t understand why he had to buy clothes for Cas in a special shop, though. The Alpha was obviously comfortable in Dean’s clothes so what was wrong with human clothes? How much different would Alpha clothes be? Dean sighed and thought there was much more to owning a Were than he had ever thought. Much of which was decided by human society and Dean didn’t like that.

"Two o’clock." Sam repeated and Dean grunted in answer before they hung up.

The tag looked pretty good on the collar, Dean decided as he inspected it. The red went well with the brown leather and—

—holy mother of shit, that was a naked Alpha, standing in the doorway!

Dean nearly had a heart attack when he turned around and found Cas there, just silently watching Dean, his body still glistening with barely dried water and his hair spikey from the rough toweling.

"C-Cas." Dean croaked and had to physically force himself to not look at the Alpha’s cock where it hung nestled against the Were’s warm body. The very same cock that Dean so carefully had rubbed with vinegar and water, that had been mere inches from Dean’s face, that Dean still dreamt about. So fat and full and no, Dean was _not looking_.

The Alpha’s eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side. "Did you have any other clothes for me?" he asked calmly and Dean had to swallow to get moisture going in his mouth.

"Yeah, I put it in the bedroom." He got out and barely managed not to say _our_ bedroom. How awkward wouldn’t that have been? Dean was practically sweating for no fucking reason.

Cas kept looking at Dean, seemingly considering him. "Is that the collar Sam gave you?" he asked eventually and Dean wanted to ask how he could tell when his eyes hadn’t left Dean’s.

"Yeah." Dean mumbled and held it up, open with one end in either hand. "Do you think you’ll be okay wearing it?"

The Alpha’s intense eyes shifted to the collar and Dean felt like he could breathe easier. Man, having Cas’ full scrutiny on him made him both hot and skittish.

Just as Dean was relaxing Cas surprised him by stepping closer and actually fucking bending his head back when he was close enough for Dean to put the collar on him. Dean froze. He openly stared at the Alpha’s face and Cas was looking back at him with calculating eyes, clearly waiting to see what Dean would do with the amount of trust the Were was handing over by displaying his vulnerable throat so openly.

Dean licked his lips slowly and moved intently but with shaking hands as he reach in the last bit to clasp the collar behind Cas’ neck, securing it and checking with two fingers between the leather and Cas’ throat that it wasn’t too tight. His fingers felt ice cold and the Alpha’s skin was warm as a furnace but neither of them flinched at the touch. Their eyes never broke contact and Dean was acutely aware of how this put him close enough to scent the Alpha. He could see Cas’ nostrils flaring and he couldn’t stop thinking about how close to a hug this was for them. And Cas was _still completely naked!_

"There we go." Dean murmured in what was too close to his bedroom voice for this to be strictly okay. "Feel okay?"

The Alpha took half a step back and rolled his head before rolling his shoulders and then nodding with a small quirk of his lips. Dean did _not_ blush.

"Awesome." He squeaked and pointed at the door. "Go get dressed, we’re not expected at Sam and Jess’ until two so we have time to eat and practice writing some more, if you want to."

The Alpha nodded again and turned to walk out of the room. Dean stared at his tight buttocks and hated himself for it. Cas wearing nothing but a collar shouldn’t be hot but Dean already knew it would serve in his spank bank for years to come. Not to mention how the Alpha so trustingly had given over control to Dean…

Yeah, there was no way Dean was reeling in his absurd feelings anytime soon.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement, it’s actually scary how good you make me feel <3

  
  


Okay, so Cas had been _extremely_ averse to wearing both socks and shoes, just like Dean had suspected. But he had managed to get a T-shirt on the Were and while Cas refused any of Dean’s boxers he agreed to change into the pair of sweats Dean had given him on the first day. They were washed of iodine now even though the Alpha looked like he could still smell it.

"Look, I’m just sayin’ commando might not be the way to go in public." Dean stated as he drove over to the store Sam had suggested.

The Alpha was once again in the passenger seat but this time he didn’t look suspicious of everything. Rather, he was watching the outside world with open curiosity and Dean was smiling to himself at Cas’ wide eyes. It was daytime now and the Alpha was for the first time in a long time able to see what the outside looked like other than through the windows of Dean’s apartment. Oh boy had Cas been eager to go outside, he had just stopped out by the car and inhaled sharply and Dean got that. Got that staying cooped up inside wasn’t fun and that all the smells must be awesome with a nose as sharp as a Were’s. And Dean wasn’t jealous of that at all because no.

"Why? No one is going to look inside my pants."

Dean’s mouth opened but fortunately his brain caught up with his own stupidity before it could escape. "Nonetheless, it’s gotta be uncomfortable and we need to buy you some other clothes anyway."

Cas turned to look at Dean who suddenly got very interested in looking at the road. Which you should do when you drive, nothing weird about that. He could feel his whole face heating under the Alpha’s stare and he didn’t even know what it was about.

But Cas conceded with his usual grunt and turned back to look out the window before Dean could spontaneously combust.

  


Okay, so shopping with Cas had been both hilarious and mortifying. For one, Cas was fucking adorable trying to figure out what all the clothes was for and his questioning face just made Dean’s heart thump wildly.

On the other hand, the Alpha’s cute and confounded look had attracted a lot of saleswomen who did nothing to help but coo over the flustered Were. Dean didn’t like it. Didn’t like the way they looked at Cas like he was a helpless little kitten and didn’t like all the attention they were stealing. And definitely didn’t like how big, strong, proud Cas was pushed into a stall where an elderly saleswoman helped him dress. It didn’t sit right with Dean because Cas was a Feral and shouldn’t have to deal with this shit.

When they got in the car again Dean was in a lousy mood. They had managed to find Cas both pants and sweaters, a few T-shirts and a bunch of boxers that the women had taken extra time explaining to Dean needed to be the right fit because an Alpha’s genitals were bigger than the average human’s. Yeah, really shouldn’t have told them that he had tried putting Cas in a pair of his own boxers.

A questioning whine from the Alpha drew Dean away from his grousing.

He coughed and glanced over at Cas who was staring openly at him. "What’s up?" he asked and tried to sound casual.

Cas sighed his non-human sigh and leaned back. "I’m sorry I’m bad at pretending."

Dean frowned. "What do you mean?"

Cas was silent for a while as Dean tore down Monterey Way on the way over to Sam and Jess’ but Dean could tell there was definitely something up with the Were.

"I mean, I had to control myself in that store because I knew you would be upset if I made a scene but I…" he huffed and crossed his arms. "I didn’t like it."

Oh God Dean felt relieved. And, consequently, selfish. Because he shouldn’t feel relieved that Cas hadn’t liked the store and he should definitely not feel flattered at the thought that Cas had been on his best behavior for Dean’s sake. Yeah, Dean was feeling a lot of things he really shouldn’t but somehow the relief won over and he surprised both himself and Cas by laughing out loud.

"That’s okay, Alpha." He said and smiled broadly at the confused Were. "I wasn’t irritated with you, I was annoyed at those women. And I don’t care if you make a scene, as long as it’s justified and no one gets hurt you can throw all the tantrums you want to. Hell, even growl at people, I don’t care."

_Be an Alpha, be a Feral. Be yourself._

Maybe he should say that last part out loud but he really didn’t have the courage to and that was just as sad as it was cowardly but there we go.

Cas seemed to get it, though, because he quirked his lips and purred quietly all the way over to Sam and Jess’.

  


"We’re here." Dean announced as he opened the door without knocking. Yeah, it wasn’t just Sam that did that, it went both ways and the only difference was that their Beta wasn’t half as territorial as Cas. Mainly because she was a Domesticated Were but also because Betas weren’t very known for caring about territories. Although Dean suspected that if Sam or Jess were attacked then the Beta probably wouldn’t hesitate to sink her fangs into the attacker. She would never be as good as Cas, though, Dean thought with poorly hidden smugness.

"What’re you smirking about?" Sam asked as he walked into the open space that combined hall and living room in their apartment.

"Nothing." Dean mumbled and shucked off his jacket that had been too hot to wear today. He pulled Sammy in for a quick hug only after Cas had been allowed to scent Sam like he had done last time too.

The Alpha didn’t need to scent Sam as closely as the first time but his nostrils still flared when people got too close and Dean had quickly taken to the habit of observing that before he continued. Sam let him too, probably remembering all too vividly what it had felt like to be on the receiving end of a raging Alpha. Dean really wished their first meeting had gone differently but he hoped and believed that Sam and Cas were getting to be good friends.

Still, this was a whole new place and it probably reeked of Beta. Dean knew that Sam was anxious about Cas’ reactions and Dean couldn’t blame him. Hell, Dean was nervous too but he was also hopeful. The Alpha had changed so much over the last couple of days and he had been awesome at the store. Yeah, Dean was sure this was going to go well, if only Sam could stop fidgeting.

"Smells good, you make pie?" he asked as both Winchesters watched how Cas was looking around and visibly scenting the air.

Sam snorted. "As if. Jess made it, even though I said you didn’t deserve it after not reading any of those books."

Dean grimaced at him. "Douche move, hiding the tag in there just to check on me."

"Worked, didn’t it?"

Yeah, Dean was about two seconds away from poking his tongue out at his little brother when Jess practically bounced out of the kitchen.

"Dean!" she exclaimed and Dean grinned widely like he always did when he met his perky sister-in-law.

"Hiya." He said but hadn’t forgotten about the looming presence behind him. Because no matter how kind and puppy eyed Cas had been in that store, now they were in a much smaller space, people crowding in on him and yes, Dean could practically feel the Alpha’s breath on his neck. He took a step to the side. "This is Cas, my Alpha."

Jess was very used to Weres, having grown up with a Beta before her parents had bought Anna, who ended up coming with Jess when she moved out and enrolled at KU. She smiled with her lips closed so as to show kindness but not display her teeth, something that could be considered a threat and also something that Dean had never thought about himself. She approached Cas slowly and Dean stepped back when he saw Sam tensing. Jess was very precious to Sam and Dean couldn’t even begin to understand the trust he was giving over to the Alpha right now, after the reception he himself had received.

But Cas had definitely understood that these people were important to Dean, Dean could tell by the way he watched Jess. Suddenly Dean was very glad he had called Jess Sam’s "mate" even though it had sounded ridiculous at the time. Weres mated for life so that was an information Cas would be sure to take seriously.

Jess extended her left arm, hand open and palm up, when she got close enough and just as Dean had done she turned her head to the side, exposing her throat to the Alpha. Cas made a very pleased sound and leaned in to scent her at her wrist. Curiously enough, Dean noticed that Cas didn’t scent her neck like he had done with Dean that first night. He hadn’t done that with Sam either but Dean had always kind of thought that was because Sam hadn’t given the Alpha his throat.

Cas straightened after just a moment and gave his agreeing grunt, making Dean grin widely.

"This is Jess." Dean said then and Cas nodded. "She makes the best pies."

Jess blinked and looked curiously at Cas before turning to Dean and pulling him into a hug. "Flatterer." She laughed. "Your Alpha’s gorgeous."

Cas snorted but Dean just grinned wider. "I know." He mumbled against her hair before letting go.

"Not much of a talker, though?"

Dean rubbed his neck and glanced over at Cas who apparently had decided to tune out the conversation in favor of taking in his surroundings.

"Did Sam tell you what’s happened to him?" he said in a low tone that he knew the Alpha totally heard. Man, he really hated to talk over Cas’ head like this but this was how humans usually talked about their Weres, even if they were present. Dean had seen Sam and Jess do it a million times with Anna and he had always thought it was weird even if he had said nothing about it. Now with Cas, however, he was even less inclined to do it.

"He did." Jess nodded and looked over at Sam who nodded too. "It’s just awful. I think it’s wonderful of you to take him in, Dean."

"Yeah, well, couldn’t just leave him." Dean muttered and remembered the night he found Cas. It felt much longer ago than it actually was and he had to smile secretly at how they had gone from complete strangers to sharing a bed — platonically! — in mere days.

"Oh, Dean, I think it’s great." Jess smiled happily and her eyes sparkled like they did when she was happy. Dean would always be awed at her ability to be happy for everyone around her. "Just wait until Anna meets him." She turned away from them. "Anna!" she called. "Come out here, please."

Dean heard movement from the room he knew was the Beta’s and he looked questioningly at Sam who smiled amusedly.

"We haven’t told her you were bringing an Alpha. She’s smelt Cas on me but I haven’t told her anything, wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise."

Jess laughed a little. "Yeah, the only Alpha she’s ever known was this old bear that lived across from us when we moved in here. He died not much later so I hardly think that counts. All other Alphas have been those growling guard dogs you meet in the streets and the Park sometimes."

"Yeah, she doesn’t like those." Sam mumbled and Dean could see in the corner of his eye how Cas had turned his attention back to the three of them and he was pretty sure the Alpha didn’t like what they were talking about. Objectifying Weres like that and making it out as if Alphas were nothing but brutes. Not to mention hearing about how Alphas’ strength was being utilized.

But Dean didn’t have time to rectify anything because suddenly Anna walked into the living room and Cas snapped to attention as soon as he smelt her. Dean could see him scenting the air as Anna walked closer and somehow Dean felt unexpectedly jealous. Why, he didn’t know. Anna was a sterilized Domesticated Were, why would she be of interest to Cas? And why should Dean care? He was a fucking human. Except he totally cared and it had everything to do with his own sexual fantasies and the fact that Cas was sleeping in _Dean’s_ bed every night, protecting _Dean_

"What is it, Master—?" Anna stopped dead just a few steps away from them, her own nostrils flaring and her eyes zeroed in on Cas who had drawn himself up to full his height, somehow managing to tower over both Sam and Dean despite him in reality being the shorter one.

Dean saw her swallowing and he gritted his teeth as she walked right up to Cas, right into his personal space, and immediately tilted her head back to expose her throat. There was no fucking preamble here, no extending an arm or anything, no the Weres went right to sniffing necks and Dean knew this. Didn’t stop him from feeling incredibly sour about this whole thing, really regretting ever bringing Cas here when the Beta made a submissive sound and Cas responded with a low, appreciative growl.

Dean watched as if in slow motion how Cas brought up a hand and gripped Anna by the neck, bending her head as he pleased before all but face-planting against her neck, visibly breathing her in. Fuck, Dean felt nauseated with conflicting feelings. Jealousy, anger, sadness. Dean would wear his teeth down to little stubs if this continued for much longer.

Sam and Jess were just watching with amused expressions, clearly thinking this was adorably hilarious and Dean was just lucky no one was looking at him right now because try as he might he couldn’t hide his bitter face.

"Alpha." Anna breathed and Cas growled again, a soft sound much too close to his purr for Dean’s liking.

Anna responded by a little sound of her own and then they were walking away from the humans, leaving Sam, Jess, and Dean standing there in the living room as Anna pulled Cas by his wrist over to her room. Leaving Dean behind.

"Well." Jess said with laughter in her voice. "That went well."

Sam chuckled. "Well, now I want her to meet more Alphas to know if she reacted like that on a purely subgender base or if it was just Cas that smelled awesome to her."

What the fuck was this? They weren’t pairing the Weres up for breeding or anything stupid like that. Anna was goddamn sterilized and way too young anyhow. Dean wanted to yell and break something but he collected himself just in time for Jess to look at him and smile and totally not notice his inner turmoil because, honestly, he was the one in the wrong here.

"Pie?" she asked and he forced himself to grin even though it felt like his stomach was on fire.

"Sounds lovely, I’m just gonna go wash up."

She nodded and left with Sam in tow so that Dean was left alone to splash cold water in his face to _calm the fuck down, idiot_. Yeah, this whole being-friends-with-Cas-and-not-a-perv was going _great_.

  
  


*****

  
  


"So I’ve basically told him that he’s a part of the family too and he was really happy about it."

Jess smiled over her coffee. "I can imagine. Packs are very important to Weres and if his previous owner mistreated him he must be starved for love."

Yeah, Dean really wished she hadn’t phrased it like that but he understood what she meant all the same. Even so, he ended up just nodding and staring down at his now empty plate.

They had been sitting there in the kitchen for a long time, just talking about how Dean and Cas were managing and what Dean could use help with in the future. Jess was really impressed with the progress Cas had made with his writing and Dean couldn’t help beaming as he bragged about how the Alpha had already started writing. Or, more like copying the letters one by one, but it was always very well done. Neat little letters in every box in the training books and Dean was so proud he was grinning ear to ear.

"I’m glad this meeting went well." Sam said then and made Dean snap to attention. "Now you can start taking him to meet the rest of our family."

Jess nodded. "And from what you told us about the visit to the store he’s already doing great. You must be good influence, Dean." Okay, Dean shouldn’t be blushing at that so he tried to hide it by ducking his head. "I only wished I’d gotten to see more of him." She suddenly laughed and Dean frowned at that.

The whole time they had been here at Sam and Jess’, Cas had been in Anna’s room together with the Beta. They had just scented each other and walked away, never to emerge.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Dean muttered. "I guess Cas’ not that used to other Weres or something." He was probably just loving the Domesticated Were’s submissive nature or what the fuck ever.

"It’s okay." Sam said dismissively and offered Dean a refill for his coffee which he declined. "I’m glad they hit it off."

"It’s not like anything’s gonna happen." Jess said with a grin. "If they were fighting I’m sure we would have heard it by now and Anna’s sterilized after all, so we don’t have to worry about that either."

Not that Dean had been but thank you, Jess, for putting _that_ image in Dean’s mind. Fuck, he had just been jealous of the Weres’ obvious common denominators but now he had to fucking worry about them having sex too? He gripped his coffee mug too hard.

Sam snorted. "As if that would stop anyone from having sex."

As soon as the words left his mouth the three of them kind of halted and just stared at each other. Because what if Cas was having sex with Anna? What if he claimed her as a mate? What would that mean for the Weres? Dean didn’t know why Sam and Jess looked panicked but he sure as hell knew why he tore away from the table and rushed to Anna’s room. One, Cas was a Feral, who the fuck knew how Ferals reacted to mating? Most Domesticated Weres didn’t mate at all so who knew how Anna would react? And two, Dean was too selfish to stand seeing Cas mated to someone so close to Dean. Some unknown Omega or Beta out in the forest was one thing — was heartbreaking enough to think about — but to have to watch how Cas mated someone in Dean’s family, right in front of Dean’s dumb face, just fucking _hurt_.

So yeah, Dean was totally the first one over to Anna’s door and he only knocked hastily before practically ripping the door open.

Only to find that Cas was sitting in the little armchair Anna had by the window, his hand in Anna’s hair as the Beta sat on the floor by his side, her arm around his leg. They weren’t _talking_ -talking but they were definitely having a conversation when Dean burst through the door with Sam and Jess hot on his heels.

"Um, hi." He all but stammered and Cas stopped grooming the Beta’s hair.

"Dean." He said and the infliction on that one word made Dean all warm inside. Anna made a sound that Cas answered with his calming rumble before he rose to his feet to meet the humans. Anna remained seated.

"We, ah…" Dean cleared his throat as he glanced at Sam and Jess who suddenly seemed more amused than worried about finding the Weres like this. "It’s getting late, we should go home."

Cas just nodded and walked out of the room without looking back at Anna and the Beta didn’t seem to think that was rude or odd. She just smiled the same smile she always gave Dean and rose only to curl up in the armchair.

Cas trotted out to the living room and Dean turned to Sam and Jess, giving them a weary smile.

"Were we being stupid?" Jess asked with a little laugh and Sam shook his head fondly before going in to talk to Anna.

"Well, we’re gonna head out." Dean mumbled and Jess nodded, giving him a small hug and not much later Dean found himself in his beloved car with Cas back in the passenger seat.

"So." He thumped his thumbs against the steering wheel as he pulled away from the curb. "Did you have a good time?"

Cas made a noncommittal grunt and was looking out the window when Dean glanced over at him.

"Anna was very nice." Cas said after a while and it was Dean’s turn to grunt, but only because he didn’t trust his own voice. "She told me she liked it very much at Sam and Jess’ but I…" he huffed and Dean saw him frowning. "She smelled off."

Dean didn’t know what that meant. "Maybe because she’s Domesticated." He suggested when Cas offered nothing more. "She grew up on a farm you know, humans taking care of the Weres before they were bought. I don’t think she even remembers if there was an Alpha there. Maybe she just felt weird to you because she didn’t know how to act."

"No." Cas mumbled and Dean gritted his teeth. Of fucking course there had been nothing wrong with the way perfect little Anna acted.

He drew a deep breath, trying to calm himself down because he shouldn’t be taking this out on Anna. He really liked the Beta and it definitely wasn’t her fault that Dean was stupid like this. Stupidly, sickeningly possessive over someone who wasn’t his to own.

"Did you know we thought you were having sex or something?" Dean said as jokingly as he could — which turned out to not be very jokingly at all but whatever — because he needed to confess and at the same time not confess too much. Also, wanted to know if Cas was maybe, perhaps, possibly so inclined as to—

"I couldn’t ever." The Alpha stated firmly and Dean tried breathing even though his chest felt like it was being squished.

"Oh?" he mumbled and saw in the corner of his eye how Cas shook his head.

"She’s part of your pack and you invited me, I wouldn’t betray your trust. Besides…" he huffed in annoyance. "There was something off with her smell, like something’s wrong with her."

Dean laughed because he had to or he would take this conversation too seriously. "You mean you could smell that she’s sterilized?"

Cas tilted his head to the side and frowned at Dean. "I don’t know what that means."

"Well," Dean floundered for the right words but didn’t know why. Just come out and say it, right? "It means that she can’t have pups. Domesticated Weres that won’t be kept for breeding are usually sterilized, to reduce ruts and heats for one, and to minimize the risk of unwanted pups." When he looked over at Cas he saw the Alpha staring at him in horror. "Alpha?" he asked uncertainly. He understood that a Feral might not know much about that but why was Cas looking like he was two seconds away from hurling?

"You mean she’s incapable of having pups because _humans_ made her so?" Cas croaked out and it was Dean’s turn to frown.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not right, humans deciding that but we’re basically keeping Weres as pets, deciding whether a Were can be fertile or not is up to the owner by law and—oh, shit are you gonna throw up?!"

Cas was definitely dry heaving and Dean swiveled to a stop on the nearest curb when the Alpha scrambled for the handle on the door. There were no cars behind them and they were only about half a block from the apartment but Dean didn’t even care. He was out of the car the moment he had pulled the hand break, running around her to come to the other side just as Cas spilled out of the car, vomiting on the grass beside the curb.

"Cas, what’s wrong?!"

The Alpha was shaking as he emptied his stomach of what he had eaten for lunch and Dean didn’t know what to do except rub Cas’ back as the Were growled. He didn’t know if Cas was growling at him or at the situation but he remained seated beside the Alpha nonetheless, figuring he would push Dean off if he really didn’t want him close.

"You…" Cas pressed out after a while of just spitting, his voice hoarser than ever and his face pale. "She’s made like that, as if it’s nothing and humans just…"

"It’s okay, Alpha." Dean shushed gently as he kept rubbing the Were’s tense back. "It’s an easy medical procedure, they take them when they’re small. They never know what they miss out on and it’s done long before they can go into heat or rut or it would just be barbaric."

Cas’ big eyes told Dean that it was barbaric anyway. This was definitely a cardinal sin to the Were and Dean didn’t know why or what he could do to take it away.

"I’m sorry." He mumbled and sat down close to the Were, only barely managing not to pull him into a hug even though he wanted to so badly. "I’m sorry humans treat you like commodity, it’s not right, I know."

"Do you love her anyway?"

Dean frowned and had to think really hard to understand what Cas was hinting at. "Anna?" he asked eventually and the Alpha nodded as he rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth. "Of course, she’s still the same even if she can’t have pups. You know, there’re a lot of humans who can’t have babies either, both willingly and unwillingly and we love each other too. Our value is not dependent on procreation."

Cas stared at the ground without seeing it, obviously very far away in his mind but he nodded nonetheless. Dean leaned back against the car, only half-aware that her engine was still running. Her rumbling was soothing and familiar.

"You don’t have to worry." He said after a long while and the Alpha didn’t react but Dean knew he was listening anyway. "None of this applies to you. You’re too old to sterilize and besides, I _don’t_ own you, no matter what lies we tell everyone else. I’ll never treat you as something else than your own Were." He smiled tentatively when Cas looked over at him, looking weary but trusting once again. "You wanna go home?"

The Alpha grunted and rose on unsteady legs. Dean wanted very badly to help him but suspected Cas wanted to do it himself. God, Dean hoped that this hadn’t put some kind of barrier between them; that it hadn’t broken the fragile trust they had built.

He sighed and got in the car too, only after he had closed the door securely after Cas. They drove the last block in silence and Cas walked straight to the bathroom when they got inside. Dean heard the shower start not much later and he sighed, hating his own race very much in that moment.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean and Cas make a new acquaintance

  
  


Dean busied himself with cleaning the kitchen while Cas showered and he tried really hard not to think about anything, which he of course failed so hard at. Fuck, Cas actually goddamn vomiting over how Anna couldn’t have pups because humans made it so gave Dean a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. He really wanted the Alpha to feel safe here but there was nothing Dean could do to show him that, was there? Except trying his best to show how Cas was different. Then again, what did that matter? Just because Dean treated Cas as if he had a will of his own — which he did! — didn’t save all the other Weres.

Dean sighed and scrubbed the counter harder even though it was sparkling clean by now. He just didn’t want Cas to leave but what would the Alpha get out of staying? Why was he staying? He probably had nowhere else to go. Might just as well live with the stupid human who fed him, right? Fuck, Dean didn’t want their friendship to be built like that but who was he kidding, of course it was.

The Alpha’s questioning grunt startled Dean enough to actually make him jump.

"Shit!" he breathed and grabbed his chest. "You ought to have a bell on you."

He regretted the words as soon as he had said them but Cas seemed to take them as a joke because he quirked his lips at Dean. The Alpha was back to wearing only sweats but curiously enough Dean saw that the Alpha still had the collar on. The little red tag dangled from it and he couldn’t help but frown at it.

"Did you shower with that? Leather shrinks in water."

Cas looked down even though he clearly couldn’t see the collar from his angle. "I took it off before I got in the shower."

_And then apparently put it back on again._

Dean’s ears heated with the blush that spread over his face. "You—" he cleared his throat and refused to meet Cas’ questioning eyes. "You know you don’t have to wear it inside. It’s only for show outside and not even all Domesticated Weres have their collar on inside. Anna didn’t, right?" he babbled and continued to look at the wall on the far end of the kitchen as he spoke.

Cas made a soft sound. "I know, but I want to wear it."

 _He wants to wear it_ , Dean had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from making an embarrassing sound.

"Yeah, okay, you do what you want. Just thought it was uncomfortable ‘s all."

Cas surprised him by stepping closer, much too close for Dean’s heated body to cope normally with. Fuck his dick for fattening up right now.

"I know what it represents." Cas rumbled in his low voice and Dean swallowed thickly. "I know what humans will think when they see the collar on me but I know the truth and I like it despite what it makes others think." Fuck, he was close enough that Dean could kiss him with just the tilt of his head, Cas’ nose almost brushing Dean’s heated cheek. "You gave this to me, Dean; I will wear it for you."

Shit, fucking _shit_ , Dean was hard right now. He made a broken little sound at the back of his throat that was too close to a needy whine for him to be comfortable with and it drew a low growl from Cas, his breath ghosting over Dean’s face. What the fuck was happening right now?

"That’s… I’d like that, Alpha." Dean pressed out and tried to sound casual even when he was admitting something so secret because _what the fuck was he doing admitting that?!_

But Cas just nodded, apparently pleased with how Dean was accepting this, and then stepped back far enough for Dean to breathe normally again. The atmosphere in the kitchen suddenly felt much colder, or more normal rather, and Dean managed a wobbly smile that Cas answered with a purr.

"You wanna eat something?" Dean asked after too long and Cas nodded. "You not feeling ill or something?" Cas shook his head and turned to the fridge but Dean stopped him. "Let’s order in. Did you like pizza, Alpha?"

Cas grunted approvingly in answer and Dean grinned before turning around and pulling out Papa John’s take-out menu. He was feeling much too shaky to cook tonight and was very glad that Cas seemed to like pizza just as much as Dean did. Man, this whole day had been a long rollercoaster of strange events and emotions and Dean felt drained much too early. To be perfectly honest he felt like he needed to lie down for a bit but he was unsure what the Alpha would make of that. And he wasn’t sure Cas wouldn’t follow him to bed as well and Dean could _not_ deal with that right now. Fuck, he needed to wank off.

He held up the menu for Cas to see. "You want pepperoni again?"

The Alpha sidled over and stared at the menu, clearly mouthing the letters but it was much too difficult after only a few days of learning the alphabet. Suddenly he pointed at one of the alternatives.

"‘Beef’." He read and Dean momentarily forgot his stubborn arousal in favor of grinning like a dork.

"That’s right." He said and couldn’t keep the awed happiness out of his voice. Cas was without a doubt the best Were Dean had ever met and the rest of them could just fuck off. "You want that on your pizza?" Cas shook his head and Dean laughed, walking over to the table to sit down. "Let’s see if we have anything else you might fancy, then."

Cas joined him at the table and together they went through the entire menu, Dean having to explain quite a few things for the Were but still loving it, even if it took over half an hour to get Cas to decide.

  


It was not twenty minutes later when the doorbell rang but Dean was starved all of a sudden and apparently so was Cas because he joined Dean by the door.

The pizza delivery man was an Asian dude dressed in Papa John’s ridiculous uniform and he was rummaging around in his satchel when Dean opened the door.

"Two medium pizza’s, one Pepperoni, one Spicy Italian that’ll be—" he stopped talking the moment he looked up and his eyes glued to Cas.

Dean was busy counting his money. "26, right?" he mumbled but looked up at the wall of silence. The pizza guy was staring at Cas with his mouth open and Cas, in turn, was looking curiously at this new oddity. "What’ going on?" Dean asked, unsure if he should just slam the door shut. But the Alpha seemed more interested than apprehensive.

"It’s an Alpha." The kid squeaked and Dean snorted amusedly.

"Well yeah." He almost wanted to flip the red tag that still dangled from Cas’ collar but resisted in the last second. "About the pizzas—"

"No," the guy looked over to Dean. "I mean, it’s a _Feral Alpha_."

Dean felt more than saw how Cas tensed and he tried snorting dismissively this time. "Pfft, what? No." Yeah, great job…

"Yes it is!" the kid prompted, his voice going all squeaky with obvious excitement and this was getting out of hand.

Dean reacted without thinking and pulled the guy inside by the front of his shirt, slamming the door shut and pressing him up against it, the pizzas wobbling precariously in the dude’s slack grip.

"Okay, first of all, keep it the fuck down. And secondly, how the hell did you know?"

Cas was looming behind Dean and Dean could hear his low warning growl but thankfully it seemed subdued at the moment. Probably because the kid was small enough that Dean would be able to handle this by himself. Or maybe because he was grinning like a little dork and not being the least threatening.

"I—" he pawed at Dean’s hand and Dean relented enough to let go but they were still crowding him against the door. "I go to KU and I’m majoring in Were studies, I’m writing my dissertation on Alphas." He said excitedly, talking more to Cas than Dean, which was fine of course but Dean doubted the Alpha knew half of what the kid was talking about.

"No way you’re at KU." Dean sneered. "What’re you, like sixteen?"

The kid looked over at Dean and sighed, deeply. "I’m nineteen and I’m a prodigy. My name’s Kevin Tran and you _have_ to let me talk to your Alpha."

Dean actually relaxed a bit and he heard that Cas had stopped growling. The Were was back to just silently studying the kid, Kevin, again.

"He’s not _my_ Alpha, he’s a Feral like you said." Dean stated after some time of Kevin and Cas just staring at each other. He felt incredibly uncomfortable admitting that because of the obvious crime of harboring a Feral Alpha without consent from the local authorities but somehow he didn’t see the point in lying. Maybe it was the fact that the kid had spotted Cas’ heritage right away or maybe it was because of Kevin’s tone. A tone so extremely similar to Sam’s when Sam spoke of his law studies, which told Dean that Kevin cared nothing for the laws concerning Ferals as long as he got to study to his heart’s content.

Kevin nodded at Dean’s words and extended his left hand, just like everyone else. He exposed his throat as well but as with all other humans except Dean, Cas contented himself with scenting the kid’s wrist. He straightened after only a short while and gave his approving grunt.

"Okay, so you check out fine." Dean muttered and took the pizzas from Kevin who beamed happily.

"You understand his noises?" he asked and tilted his head to the side when Cas did. The Alpha responded by tilting to the other side and Kevin grinned even wider.

"Some of them." Dean admitted and didn’t even know why he felt embarrassed about that. He put the pizzas up on the hat rack and basically shoved the money at the kid. "So what’s this about?" he asked when Kevin had pocketed the money.

"Well," Kevin turned to Dean and Dean could just hear that tone again. "I’ve long felt that human society’s notion of Weres is angled and influence by old beliefs. Are Omegas simply submissive child bearers? Are Alphas nothing but thickheaded protectors? Are Betas the only ones capable of logical thinking? Why would any of that be true and if so, how could Were society function properly?"

Dean nodded because he couldn’t help but relate with a lot of those questions, and even more so after spending all this time with Cas. "So your dissertation is about that?"

"Mainly, but I’ve also taken a big chunk of it and dedicated it to Alphas because I think they’re the coolest and most misunderstood." He said the last part while smiling widely at Cas who was only standing there, obviously trying to make sense of this energy ball of a human. "I’ve had individual interviews with Farmed Alphas and with Manufactured. I never thought I would get to talk to a Feral because, well, they’re _feral_ but shit, you’re just awesome!"

Cas huffed in confusion and took a step back, actually half-hiding behind Dean. And yes, it made Dean’s heart blow up and Kevin’s eyes budge out. Man, the kid’s fingers twitched as if he wanted nothing more than to write this observation down pronto.

"Look, he’s been through a lot and I dunno…"

"Oh, please." Kevin pleaded, his focus completely on Cas. "I would never put you in danger, Alpha. I just want to talk to you. I want to hear everything; where you’re from, how living in the wild is, how you think. I just want to know _you_."

Cas was looking bewildered and, to be honest, a little freaked out and Dean didn’t like it. He turned around, putting his back to the all but bouncing kid and locking eyes with the Alpha.

"You do _not_ have to do this, Alpha." He murmured in a soothing tone and Cas just stared at him. "I agree he’s weird as fuck but this kid’s on to something, though. He just wants to show humans that Alphas and Weres in general might not be what we make you out to be. And while I think that’s pretty great of him you don’t have to expose yourself, no one’s gonna make you as long as you’re with me." Fuck, Dean felt protective and possessive but Cas seemed to like it because he gave a growl so low it was almost his purr and Dean smiled a little at him.

"I would never expose you either, Alpha." Kevin piped up then, his voice suddenly much lower and calmer and that was good, Dean thought. "I swear I’m on your side. I would use a fake name for you in my paper and never, ever tell that I found you here." He looked at Dean when Dean turned back to him. "I understand that something strange has happened for him to be living here with you, and in a collar nonetheless, but I swear I won’t prod about that. I want to know about the Feral Alpha as a person, not about your living situation."

Dean nodded and thought that the fact that Cas hadn’t just walked away was pretty good evidence that Cas understood what was being said. "Can we think about it? I mean, your paper sounds like a really great idea but you kinda sprung it on us and it’s not really up to me."

Kevin nodded enthusiastically and dug out a pen, motioning for Dean to pull down the pizza boxes again so he could write his number on one of them.

"I totally understand and don’t feel pressured but please think about it, Alpha." Kevin said as he scribbled down his number so fast Dean was almost uncertain if he could read the numbers at all. "Just think about what it could do for future Alphas and Weres if humans were just educated properly. Everyone should hear the voice of the Alpha, right?" he grinned and pocketed his pen. "You do speak, don’t you?"

Dean chuckled and Cas actually quirked his lips at that. "Yes." He answered in his gravelly voice and Kevin grinned so wide Dean thought his head might split in two.

"Awesome." He said and was out the door seconds later.

"Well," Dean said as they stood in the hall, staring at the closed door. "That was weird."

Cas snorted and walked into the kitchen and Dean heard him opening the fridge a moment later. Dean didn't know if he should feel uneasy about the fact that the kid had spotted Cas’ Feralness so easily or satisfied that he wasn’t the only one who thought humans were wrong about Weres. He settled somewhere in-between; uneasy because he didn’t know Kevin and didn’t know if he could trust him not to expose them, and hopeful that Cas would take him up on the offer and actually give some insight on how not all Alphas were unintelligent knotheads. 

  
  


*****

  
  


Two days later Dean was dead tired from lack of sleep and his mind felt sore from overthinking. He had had a lot of nightmares about Cas snarling at him and leaving him and as much as those nightmares pained him he felt even worse about having to call them nightmares and not just regular dreams. Because Cas could leave anytime he wanted and Dean would have no way to stop him.

Fuck, Dean had barely slept at all last night, just lying there and watching the Alpha sleep, listening to the little sounds he made as he dreamt. Dean wanted to curl up in Cas’ arms and press against the Alpha’s chest to steal all those low noises away.

Dean indulged himself in the shower after he had pretended to wake up with the alarm. Cas had just blinked blearily at him and tottered out to the kitchen to start coffee like he did every morning and nothing had been strange. Except Dean couldn’t escape his downward spiral and he needed _something_ to take the edge off.

He took care to wash up first but his dick knew what was going on and he was fully hard even before he had finished with his hair. The soapy suds slithered along his dick and made him shiver even before he gripped himself. Fuck, it had really been too long.

He leaned back against the tiled wall and let the warm water wash the rest of the soap away as he started stroking himself steadily. He didn’t know until he had stopped but watching porn was like a goddamn drug and his body was craving it. Fuck, he wished he had something to watch right now but also knew that whatever he watched would just be insufficient to the marvel of an Alpha he shared his bed with every night.

He closed his eyes as he sped up his hand, the other playing with his nipples briefly before he relented and slid it around his back to rub against his hole.

"Fuck." He breathed in the steamy air and pressed harder much too soon, relishing in the burn as his finger slid in to the first knuckle with no prep to speak of. God, he felt needy all of a sudden.

His dick throbbed in his hand and he slowed down for a moment, taking his time to feel every bump, every pulsing vein. He reached down to fondle his balls just as he pushed that one finger in all the way.

A strangled gasp forced its way out of him and he remember in that moment that he of course hadn’t locked the door. It was closed but he hadn’t locked it again since that one time. What if Cas could hear him? Smell him? What if the Alpha decided he wanted to see what was up? He hadn’t come into the bathroom when Dean was in the shower again since that one time where he had pulled the curtain to the side but what if he did it right now?

Fuck, he would see Dean, _all_ of Dean. Would see how he fucked himself desperately on his finger — two fingers now, so deep and so not enough — while panting and pulling on his balls, his dick heavy as it swung with the motions of his snapping hips.

"Oh, God, please." Dean groaned under his breath and sped up his fingers inside of him, finally finding his prostate and nearly going blind from the pleasure it brought.

His other hand was back to flying over his dick and he could barely stand up straight with the waves of pleasure crashing down on him. It felt so good but also so hollow. Oh, he knew what he wanted but he also knew he would never have it. Didn’t stop him from whimpering Cas’ name as he came, though. He shot long and hard, splattering the shower curtain to the point of embarrassment and he blushed as he washed it off with shaky hands. Fuck, this had been dangerous. Sure, he had needed to take the edge off but had he even managed to do that? It somehow felt worse now.

"I need to get fucking laid." He muttered and quickly scrubbed himself clean. Yeah, that was just what he needed. Needed a strong, definitely _human_ dude to press him down and—no, that was too close to his Alpha-fantasies. No, he needed a bear that he could just excite and sit down on, ride the man into oblivion and—damnit.

Dean needed to find a fucking twink and bang him harshly, making the young guy squirm on Dean’s hard dick. Yeah, that was better. Nothing with that fantasy that resembled him being fucked by an Alpha. If Dean was the aggressor then he should be safe. It was just too fucking bad he hadn’t wanted to top since he quit high school…

When he opened the door after having dried off and pulled on his clothes he was startled to find Cas outside the bathroom.

"Sorry, did you need to use it?" he asked and did his best not to blush when the Alpha just looked at him with this unreadable expression. How the fuck long had he been in the shower anyway? And how long had Cas been standing here?

Eventually the Were relented and turned to walk over to the kitchen again, leaving Dean absolutely confused about what the hell that had been about.

In the kitchen he found Cas by the table, eating a bowl of cereal and Dean’s already waiting for him, the milk standing beside the bowl. He smiled at the Alpha and poured himself a mug of coffee before sitting down.

"You know, I was thinking that today after I get off work we could drive up to the Roadhouse so you could meet Ellen, and maybe some of the others too." Cas watched him intently as he spoke, much more like he had done those first few days, but Dean didn’t let it bother him. He liked the Alpha’s eyes on him and with his latest orgasm still so fresh in his system he felt loose and pliant; much more comfortable in his own skin.

And a trip to the Roadhouse had been on his mind for a while now, ever since meeting Sam’s family had gone so well and ever since they had scheduled with Kevin.

Because Cas had decided what to do about Kevin and he had surprised Dean by agreeing to meet with the kid. Just to talk, of course, and Kevin had assured Dean over the phone that he wouldn’t use anything Cas wasn’t comfortable with sharing and he most definitely wouldn’t come back for more if the Alpha didn’t agree to it. Dean felt apprehensively positive about the whole deal and wanted to ask if Cas was doing it because he wanted to — and maybe understood the importance of humans being educated on this matter — or if he thought it was what Dean wanted. Dean didn’t dare ask, though, so he just set a date with Kevin and Cas seemed content with that.

Dean still wanted Cas more accustomed to human interaction before that, though, and even if he was anxious about bringing the Alpha back to the place where he had found him so hurt he still wanted Cas to meet the rest of his family, even Sam had suggested it. Still, if Kevin was so fast with spotting the fact that Cas was a Feral, what was to say someone else wouldn’t too? Dean definitely didn’t want that and he doubted Cas wanted it either. They had managed to build themselves a comfortable little cocoon here in their lies and even though Dean secretly thought Cas didn’t like pretending to be Domesticated he still thought the Alpha liked their life together enough to put up with the lie. Dean would just hate for that lie to be exposed more than it already was with Kevin coming over. Still, Dean hoped Kevin had been so quick to spot it only because he was researching Alphas. So as long as Dean didn’t take Cas over to any Were Farms he thought they should be in the clear.

Cas made an agreeing sound and continued to eat his breakfast while his eyes drilled into Dean’s skull.

"We could eat there, or take food with us home, if it’s too much for you. I mean," He looked up and tried not to show how Cas’ staring was starting to make him feel jittery. "You did very well in the store and at Sam and Jess’ but the Roadhouse’s gonna be full of people by the time we get there. Lots of sounds and smells. So, you know, if you’re uncomfortable…" He trailed off when he realized he was babbling. He did that a lot with Cas and it annoyed him. He cleared his throat and looked down. Yeah, maybe he wasn’t so comfortable in his own skin after all. Maybe the edge of the arousal was gone but the fact was that he had been thinking about Cas as he fucked himself on his own hand and now Cas was staring at him like Dean was a riddle he needed to solve.

"I would like to go."

Dean’s head snapped up. "Really?" Cas grunted in agreement again and fucking finally looked down at his food as he scooped up another spoonful of cereal. "I mean, I get that we have to lie about you not being a Feral and that’s fucked up but you’d do it anyway?"

Cas licked milk from his lips and Dean tried very hard not to track the movement of his tongue. "You said you would like for me to be a part of your pack, do you still want that?"

"Yeah."

The Alpha let out a pleased little hum at that and Dean felt the corners of his lips pulling. "Then I would like to visit your Ellen."

Dean couldn’t help but grin at that. "Awesome."

So yeah, Cas wanted to be a part of Dean’s family even though he had to lie about his past and even if that made Dean inappropriately happy it still made him wonder why exactly. Why was Cas so keen to join this very human pack when he surely must have a pack of Ferals of his own? Dean wanted to ask and he thought he eventually would but for now he was happy with just relishing in the low purr Cas was emitting as he continued eating.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, not for nothing Cas, but the last person that looked at me like that I got laid."

  
  


Yeah, the Roadhouse was packed when Dean and Cas eventually made it over there. Dean had spent some time at the Autoshop working on an old Cadillac and had almost forgotten the time so they were a little late getting there. By now, the Roadhouse was crawling with people wanting a beer before they got home or, like Dean and Cas, wanting food and were too lazy to cook it themselves.

The Alpha was clad in one of the T-shirts Dean had bought him but still had on Dean’s sweats, not that Dean was complaining. The leather collar and its red tag was secure around Cas’ neck and Cas still only took it off when he showered. He even slept in it and that did nothing good to Dean’s brittle self-control.

Just like last time Dean had not managed to get anything on Cas’ feet, the Alpha just hissing playfully at him and Dean had once again relented, thinking that Cas gave him everything else so if this was the one thing he would refuse then Dean was happy to let it be. He was worried, though, because there might be broken glass on the parking lot and Dean couldn’t help but wonder if that was how Cas’ feet had gotten slashed the last time. Dean had always kind of assumed that whoever had beaten the Alpha had sliced his feet as well but maybe not. Dean should really ask but he was afraid it would bring up bad memories for the Alpha and he liked the content atmosphere that surrounded Cas at home.

"Look," Dean said in a calm tone as he killed the engine on the parking lot, watching Cas as the Alpha looked attentively around himself. "If you at any point feel uncomfortable you just tap my shoulder, okay?"

The Alpha turned to him and he could see that Cas was already a little uncomfortable but it seemed to have more to do with bad memories and not so much the loud music that came from inside the Roadhouse. Dean was starting to regret this, though. Maybe bringing Cas here so soon was too much to ask. It would probably be better for them to eat at home.

"Just in and out, real quick. And you tap me, I won’t question anything."

Cas grunted in consent and Dean smiled at him before they exited the car. Walking up to the front doors Dean could see Cas sneaking glances at the bushes where Dean had found him but neither of them spoke of it.

Inside was a hustle and bustle as usual and Dean grinned widely when he was immediately spotted by his surrogate mother. She called out to him and he remained where he was, just inside the door, and let her come to them instead.

"Dean!" she exclaimed and pulled him into a hug before he had a chance to introduce Cas. The Alpha made a humming growl behind him and he pulled out of the hug faster than normal.

"Hi Ellen." He said fondly and stepped to the side a little to let her notice Cas. "This is my Alpha, Cas."

Ellen blinked and fuck, Cas looked much more menacing than usual where he stood in the dimly lit Roadhouse, obviously seizing the woman up.

"Oh my." She said and slowly stretched out her left arm for him to scent. He narrowed his eyes but before he had a chance to lean down Jo came bounding over with Ash, Dean’s friend and Ellen’s not-really-anymore-busboy, in tow.

"Hiya stranger!" Jo called over to them and Cas tensed beside Dean.

Dean swallowed and turned to Ellen as Jo and Ash approached. "Could you just maybe make us some burgers to go?"

Ellen was eyeing Cas and nodded without taking her eyes off him as his icy blue eyes zeroed in on Jo. "Yeah, I think that might be for the best."

"I’m sorry Ellen, I think I put too much pressure on him. I’ll explain later."

She looked back and smiled that motherly smile that Dean’s mother had had too and that his heart ached to remember. "It’s fine, Dean." She said and patted his cheek before turning to go into the kitchen just as Jo and Ash joined them.

"We heard you got an Alpha." Jo stated and Dean nodded while watching Cas closely. The Alpha had pulled himself up but his lips were pressed tightly together instead of snarling so that was good at least.

Fuck, Dean felt selfish. He wanted Cas to be a part of his world so much that he pushed the poor Feral out of his comfort zone much too fast. Just because everything at home was so easy didn’t mean it really would be out here. And Cas was trying so hard to fit in that it made Dean’s chest feel too tight.

"Yeah, his name’s Cas."

"Cool." Ash said and stared back at Cas as the Alpha stared at him. Dean wondered if Cas could smell the weed Ash probably had been smoking earlier, if his loopy smile was anything to go by. "I had to hear it from Bobby, though, shame on you Dean-o. I’m gonna watch a friend’s Omega in a couple of days, you better tell me some tricks as payback."

"Where’s he from?" Jo interrupted and Dean opened his mouth to answer when Jo surprised him by jumping into Cas’ personal space. "He looks old, mom says you got him from a shelter."

Cas bared his teeth and for a wild moment Dean thought the Alpha would react to Jo as he had with Sam and actually fucking attack her in the middle of the crowded Roadhouse. But the moment passed and this time the Alpha stepped away from the perceived threat, his hand suddenly on Dean’s shoulder, tapping him.

"Hey." Dean barked and put himself between Cas and Jo. "Would you calm the fuck down, you’re making him uncomfortable."

Jo puffed her cheeks out. Man, Dean loved her as he would a real little sister but the teenager was so plump sometimes that he would have smacked her if she was a boy.

"Well, I’m sorry." She bit out and Dean saw Ash shake his head at her.

"You should always let the Were scent you first." Ash stated and Jo threw her hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah." She groused and Cas was tapping Dean’s shoulder furiously now.

He could feel the Alpha’s hot breath on the back of his neck and he was acutely aware of how Cas had only been with him a couple of weeks; not nearly time enough to get to know the Alpha’s every tell even if Dean liked to think so. This had been a mistake and Dean had felt it the moment they had parked the car but he had ignored it because he was a selfish ass.

"You know what, I wanted him to meet my family but this fucking sucks." Dean pressed out and turned to Ash instead. "Tell Ellen we’ll be out by the car."

Ash saluted him as Jo spluttered out a protest and Dean ignored her in favor of turning around and steering Cas out of the Roadhouse. Well outside he stalked right up to his baby, the Alpha growling threateningly under his breath, his movements jerky as he walked beside Dean, his eyes darting here and there.

As soon as Dean was beside his car he spun around and grabbed Cas by the T-shirt, hauling him in to press the Alpha’s face against the crook of Dean’s neck. Cas tensed at first but went willing and he relaxed visibly as soon as he inhaled deeply enough to get a good whiff of Dean.

"I’m sorry, Alpha." Dean murmured soothingly and started carding his fingers through Cas’ thick hair, trying to mimic the way Cas had groomed him to try and calm him down. "I shouldn’t have pushed you so much. You’re trying so hard, being such a good Alpha for me."

Cas’ growls had changed to somewhere between too high to be his warning growl but too low to be his purr. He was getting there, though, and Dean let him breathe open-mouthed against Dean’s skin, ignoring the goosebumps and the obvious wrongness of this whole thing. Regular Were owners didn’t soothe their regular Weres like this. Then again, there was nothing regular with Dean and Cas, was there? Dean decided he didn’t care how he soothed Cas as long as it helped the Alpha. If anyone saw them and scolded them for it, Dean would fucking beat them to a bloody pulp.

Cas’ breathing eventually evened out and Dean was just relaxing when suddenly the Alpha put his hands on Dean’s sides, just kind of fisting his shirt. Cas nosed up Dean’s neck and started purring for real now and fuck, this was getting dangerous. The Alpha was obviously better and Dean should end this but he kind of didn’t want to, even with his dick perking up. He wondered if Cas could feel it but he was literally saved by the bell when he noticed Ellen walking towards them with a bag of take-out in her hand.

He gently pried Cas away from him but the Alpha didn’t seem angered about the interruption. He just looked at Dean with these calm pools for eyes that made Dean’s stomach squirm.

"You okay, little Alpha?" Dean murmured so Ellen wouldn’t hear and Cas gave a last little purr before stopping and stepping to the side.

"Ash told me." Ellen huffed and handed the food to Dean who gratefully accepted it. "I’m gonna talk to her as soon as you leave." She then turned to Cas who stood a little on the side, watching her intently. She gently extended her arm, hand open and palm up.

Cas looked warily at her and it took him longer before he leaned down than it had before. Dean held his breath the whole time, needing this to go well. Ellen and Bobby were practically his parents by now and Dean _needed_ Cas to get along with them.

The Alpha took his sweet time scenting Ellen, probably picking all the smells on her apart to get to the core of the woman herself. Ellen smiled over at Dean and made a soft little sound when Cas opened his mouth to barely graze his teeth over her sensitive skin. But before anything got too weird Cas straightened and grunted his approval. Dean beamed at him because he was so fucking proud of Cas and the Alpha’s ability to sort out everything new that he was exposed to.

"This is Ellen." Dean said in a low murmur and Cas studied the woman closely. "She’s the one that took me and Sam in when mom and dad died." He could feel Ellen’s eyes on him, knowing she was surprised to hear him talk about it out loud but he ignored her in favor of focusing on the Alpha. Cas nodded and gave the grunt Dean knew was his less intimate, polite way of saying thanks. Dean chuckled and turned to Ellen. "I think he’s okay with you now."

Ellen considered Cas and the Alpha tilted his head to the side. "He doesn’t talk?"

"Only when he wants to." Dean said and leaned back against his baby, clutching the bag in his hand. "But we make it work."

"Oh, so he’s shy?" Ellen said with a small grin and Cas drew himself up, snorting down at her. Her grin widened. "Don’t you snort at me, Mr. Big Bad Alpha." She laughed and Dean had to turn his head to hide his own smile when Cas huffed playfully at her. "I have to get back inside, I have an unruly teenager to deal with, but you two better come back another day, you hear?" When Dean turned back he was surprised to see Ellen talking to Cas. The Alpha listened attentively and Ellen seemed pleased with this, giving him a small nod before turning to Dean. "And you, what’s stopping you from coming home once in a while?"

Dean fake-groaned, secretly loving her mothering. "I’ve been kinda busy." He said meaningfully and inclined his head to Cas who snorted again just as Ellen shook her head.

"Blaming the poor Alpha, shame on you, son." She said with humor in her voice. "Well you both come home soon, okay? Bobby won’t say anything because he’s a stubborn old coot but he misses you and Sam."

"I see him all the time at work." Dean protested mildly and received a thwack to the arm.

"That’s not the same and you know it." Ellen warned before starting back to the Roadhouse. "And we have a phone." She tossed over her shoulder as Dean rubbed his arm with a slight pout.

"You know," he said to the amused Alpha. "If we’re gonna try and fool people you’re actually my Alpha you should protect me when I get hit."

Cas surprised the shit out Dean by chuckling for the first time in fucking forever. "Mothers doesn’t count, Dean." The Alpha informed him and took the bag of food from Dean’s slack grip before getting in the car.

Yeah, Dean totally stood there for a moment too long before he jogged around to the other side to get in and drive them home, Cas happily purring over the food the whole time.

  
  


*****

  
  


After dinner they both made a kind of unanimous decision to lounge on the couch and Dean secretly loved it. They were watching a football game that Cas didn’t seem the least interested in but the Were was snuggled up on the couch, curled beneath a blanket and his eyes slipping close every other minute. Dean watched him fondly out of the corner of his eye, glad that the Alpha was able to relax after what had happened at the Roadhouse.

Dean was still feeling really shitty about that but Cas had at least shown no lingering effects of anxiety so that was good, Dean thought. The Alpha had just inhaled the food when they got home and was now napping so trustingly beside Dean that Dean wanted to pinch his own arm to see if this wasn’t a fucking dream or what.

He was just considering a beer when his phone buzzed to indicate a text.

 **From: [Garth]**  
**To: [Me]**  
**8:32 p.m.**  
_heard you were at RH earlier_

 **From: [Me]**  
**To: [Garth]**  
**8:32 p.m.**  
_yeah_

Okay, should probably have put more effort into that... Dean sighed and sat up straighter but didn’t have time to rectify his bad texting before Garth texted him again.

 **From: [Garth]**  
**To: [Me]**  
**8:33 p.m.**  
_u left before I got here mate! wanna come back?_

Dean grimaced and looked over at Cas. The Alpha had slid down a little and was sleeping with his mouth open, half-snores escaping him and really, he looked a mess but Dean couldn’t look at him other than with soft eyes.

 **From: [Me]**  
**To: [Garth]**  
**8:35 p.m.**  
_I dunno. what r u doin?_

 **From: [Garth]**  
**To: [Me]**  
**8:35 p.m.**  
_whatever I want! :D_

Dean sighed again but couldn’t help smiling. So Garth was drunk already, that kid had always been a lightweight. Dean considered this for a while. He wasn’t very inclined to leave Cas alone, especially not after what had happened earlier but on the other hand he still had this restless itch in his skin that indicated that he _needed_ and _wanted_. Maybe… Maybe if he went out with Garth he could drink a little, take his mind off forbidden things and, God forbid, maybe hook up with someone. It wouldn’t have to be anything serious, he could just find a dude, fuck him, and be back before morning.

He drew a deep breath and inhaled too much of Cas’ scent.

 **From: [Me]**  
**To: [Garth]**  
**8:38 p.m.**  
_I’m comin to pick u up, we’re goin to bull_

 **From: [Garth]**  
**To: [Me]**  
**8:38 p.m.**  
_oki doki_

Dean cringed a little, if Garth was already at _oki doki_ then this night might end before it even began. But Dean needed a little company if he was going to do this. He hadn’t been out flirting in a bar in a long while and he needed his friend to help keep his mind off the fact that it felt like cheating on Cas. So never mind that Garth already seemed hammered and never mind the fact that Bullwinkles Bar was about a block from Dean and he would have to drive all the way to the Roadhouse and back _just_ to get his friend, he needed to go out. And Bullwinkles was the best, it was great for picking up KU frat boys who were secretly gay and didn’t want to share that information with their friends _and_ it was within walking distance from Dean’s apartment. Perfect.

He turned to Cas to gently prod him until he woke up. Didn’t need much prodding, though, because as soon as Dean put a hand to his arm the Alpha’s eyes flew open.

"Hey there." Dean said softly and Cas made a mewling sound in return as he stretched and yawned like a goddamn kitten. Fucking hell, Dean had always associated Weres more with dogs but he was starting to rethink that because sometimes Cas did more cat-like things and it was messing with Dean’s head.

"A friend of mine wants to hang out and I was thinking of joining him at a bar." He watched as Cas blinked at him but did nothing else but wait patiently for Dean to continue. "Will you be okay on your own for a while?"

The Alpha looked away and Dean’s insides twisted when he realized how that sounded. Because why couldn’t he bring Cas with him? What must Cas think? Would he think it was because he had misbehaved at the Roadhouse and now Dean was afraid to bring him places? Fuck, Dean wanted to tell him the truth but couldn’t because how the fuck would that go? _"I want you so much you drive me insane and I need to get out of here so I can fuck you out of my mind."_ Yeah, no.

But Cas just grunted his usual agreeing sound and pulled the blanket up higher around his shoulders.

"Yeah, I mean, you can watch TV and stuff, right?" Fuck, Dean was a mess.

The Alpha turned his infinitely blue eyes at him and they did not sparkle in the low lighting but it seemed like it to Dean.

"It’s fine, Dean." He said with his rumbly voice, his lips quirking and Dean sighed with a smile of his own, knowing he was being stupid. The Were spent hours on end on his own when Dean was at work for Christ’s sake, why wouldn’t he manage a few more hours now?

"I’ll be back before midnight." He promised and Cas just nodded.

  


It wasn’t until Dean was seated beside Garth at the bar in Bullwinkles that Dean realized that Cas probably couldn’t tell time. Or, maybe he knew what it meant when the sun and moon stood this and that way in the sky but would that really be enough for him to know when Dean was expected to be back? Dean didn’t know and he suddenly felt inexplicitly bad about it.

"Oh! I want one of those."

Dean looked after the woman that walked past them, sipping on a pink cocktail. "The girl or the drink?" Dean smirked around his beer but spluttered when he turned back and saw that Garth was already ordering a drink just like hers. He sighed.

"This was a _great_ idea." Garth announced happily and Dean resigned himself to having to maybe carry his friend home. Since Cas slept in Dean’s bed Dean supposed he technically had a bed available but on the other hand everyone assumed that Cas slept in Dean’s spare bedroom — because why wouldn’t he? — so Dean wasn’t very inclined to bring Garth home. He supposed he could call a cab for his friend but decided to wait a little longer, Garth was easily inebriated but it took a while for him to pass out.

And Dean still _needed_.

He looked around the bar casually, scouting out what he could see and the pickings weren’t as slim as he had feared. Particularly this one blonde guy was making googly eyes at Dean and Dean smirked over at him, sizing him up. The guy looked young, perhaps Sam’s age and looked tall and broad-shouldered enough to rival Dean but that face was too soft to belong to a dominant person. Not that Dean should judge; many sexual partners had looked at him and assumed that he wanted to top when he in reality loved getting plowed. Still, tonight he wanted to put his dick to good use and that blonde looked to be a good choice.

They eye-fucked for a while and Dean enjoyed watching the man squirm over there. He seemed to be out with his friends but Dean didn’t know if they knew about his sexual preferences and Dean wasn’t interested in outing anyone. Garth was wildly flirting with a woman beside him at the bar and to Dean’s total surprise they seemed to be hitting it off. Not that Garth was a bad catch but he had a tendency of overdoing it with the flirting. The girl was giggling and pawing at his knee, though, so Dean started to think he might not have to worry about where his friend would sleep tonight.

Suddenly the blonde jerked his head to the side, indicating the bathroom and Dean inwardly cringed at the thought of a hook-up in a nasty bathroom stall but hey, what the hell, right? He wasn’t planning on spending the whole night with anyone anyway, just needed to get his dick some lovin’.

He grinned at the guy in that way he knew could charm the pants off most people and enjoyed how the blonde blushed before sliding off his bar stool to walk stiffly over to the toilets. Hell yeah, Dean liked this. Liked how he had already managed to get the guy hard without having had to do anything but look at him. Kind of like how Cas could do that to Dean and—no! No more thoughts like that, not tonight.

He turned to check on Garth real quick and was startled to find him tongue-deep in the woman’s mouth. Dean sighed and got up to go over to the bathroom.

Well inside he immediately spotted the blonde over by the sinks. He was looking at the mirror and Dean had a wild thought that he was checking himself out.

"Hey." He said and smirked when a visible shudder went through the man at the sound of his voice. Yeah, Dean knew he had a pretty pleasant voice himself. Perhaps not as rumbly as—shut up.

"Hiya." The guy said timidly and Dean sauntered over. "You, ah, you wanna get a stall?"

Fuck, this dude was nervous, Dean could clearly see. He had kind of thought it had to do with him not wanting his friends to know but now they were alone and he was still looking anxious as shit.

"You sure you want that?" Dean asked and leaned in when he got close enough. The guy’s face was smooth, newly shaved, and he smelled of a nice cologne and his hair was styled. Yeah, this was definitely one of those bratty frat boys that Dean had seen so many times at Bullwinkles and it should be great; should be just what he was looking for. But it somehow wasn’t.

He suppressed the thought when the guy nodded and walked over to the stall closest to the wall, furthest from the door. Dean grinned and followed him closely, pressing in on him when they were both crowded in the stall, its door securely locked. It smelled of stale piss and alcohol but Dean tried to ignore it.

The blonde shuddered more forcefully this time and turned so that they were pressed face to face. His eyes roamed Dean’s face and zeroed in on his lips, which Dean licked just to be an ass. He knew he had perfect lips for sucking cock and he loved doing it but that wasn’t what he was supposed to want tonight.

So instead he grabbed the guy by his hips and shoved him up against the wall, grinding against his crotch and the blonde responded by thumping his head against the wall and moaning loudly. He was already so hard Dean imagined he could feel him leaking through his pants. He started up a steady rhythm and bent in to lick at the man’s throat.

"Fuck." The blonde pressed out but his voice was too high-pitched to be tantalizing.

Dean was barely half-hard and not really feeling it but the other man was definitely enjoying Dean’s body. He had his arms around Dean’s shoulders, gripping his back, and one leg up by Dean’s hip to give better access. Dean used it to hump harder against the man and okay, he was starting to get into the feeling but it felt hollow.

Blue eyes flashed before his eyes and Dean squeezed his own shut. It _wasn’t_ like cheating on Cas because Cas was a Were, and they were _not_ involved. He was doing nothing wrong. In fact, he convinced himself as the man bucked back harder and trembled in Dean’s arms, he was doing the right thing. He had an unhealthy attraction to Cas and he was trying to fuck that out of his system by using this very willing guy. The blonde certainly wasn’t complaining about being used like this so why was Dean being a little pussy?

He snarled at himself and stepped back only to turn the other man around and press his dick against the man’s ass.

"Fuck yeah." The guy breathed and Dean wanted to tell him to shut up but refrained.

Instead he reached around and undid the guy’s pants, digging out his leaking dick and the blonde made a strangled moan when Dean started jerking him harshly as he humped his ass.

Dean wasn’t usually like this, more used to being on the receiving end but also usually much kinder to his partners even when he was the one to top. But he was angry and the guy seemed to like it rough. And Dean needed to assert his manliness. Needed to prove to himself that he could still top and that he wasn’t _only_ thinking about bending over and presenting like a bitch for a big Alpha to ravish.

Suddenly the guy started shaking and Dean realized he had lost himself so much in his own headspace he basically had lost his hard-on. Fuck he felt nauseated with his own behavior. The blonde didn’t seem to notice, though, he was pressing back against Dean and fucking into Dean’s hand, moaning a string of incoherent noises that anyone outside the stall was sure to hear.

"You gonna come?" Dean almost sneered in the man’s ear and the blonde nodded forcefully. "Good, be a good boy and come for me."

Not surprisingly, judging from all the rest Dean had done that the man had liked, the guy reacted extremely positively to Dean’s condescending tone and he let out a broken scream as he came hard against the wall, his come splattering unattractively and immediately sliding down the wall in thick globs.

Dean huffed against the man’s ear as the blonde momentarily leaned his head back on Dean’s shoulder. "There we go." Dean murmured and very barely managed not to jerk back when the man put a hand on Dean’s hip.

"What about you?" he asked in a hoarse voice and Dean stepped back gingerly to rip off some toilet paper and wipe off what little had landed on his hand.

"I’m good, thanks." He said in a much colder, more dismissive tone than he had intended.

The man slumped a little. "Oh."

Dean cringed. "Look, you’re good lookin’ and all but I’m not…" he floundered for the right word because what was he not? Not into topping? Not into casual hook-ups? Not into men? Not into humans? Dean was a douche was what he was.

"It’s fine." The guy smiled and tucked in his flaccid dick after cleaning it with a little paper. "Another time."

"Yeah, sure." Dean answered and they both knew that wasn’t happening. He waited in the stall for a while after the guy had left and when he finally gathered enough wits to leave he noticed that the guy and his friends were all gone. That was probably for the best, he thought as he reclaimed his seat beside Garth who, by all accounts, didn’t look like he had missed Dean the least. He was still tongue-fucking the girl and she looked happy to be sitting in his lap right there at the fucking bar. Not that anyone else seemed to care.

Dean sighed and signaled the bartender that he wanted whisky. He was feeling shitty just about everything and he relished the burn of the first glass and immediately flagged down the bartender for another shot.

  
  


*****

  
  


It was well past midnight when Dean finally stumbled home because Dean was an asshole that didn’t deserve nice things.

He crashed through the door and did the most horrible job of keeping quiet in the history of horrible noise-keeping-jobs. Dean was shitfaced and practically giggling about it.

He sang Def Leppard’s _Pour some sugar on me_ to himself as he bumbled into the kitchen in search for water, already knowing this was going to be one nightmare of a hangover. He had spent the rest of the time at the bar drinking and brooding and had barely noticed when a happy Garth had told him he was leaving with Beth or Bess or whatever. Dean had just grunted and tossed back another shot of whisky. The bartender had already left the bottle by that point.

When he closed the fridge he noticed Cas standing in the doorway, looking at him with his unnatural eyes and Dean couldn’t help grinning widely at the sight, feeling his chest blossom with warmth.

"Hey, Alpha." He sang drunkenly and tried drinking from the bottle before he realized it still had the cap on. He laughed at himself and unsuccessfully tried to unscrew it before simply leaning back against the counter, forgetting about it. Cas was still just staring at him.

"You know, not for nothing Cas, but the last person that looked at me like that I got laid." He laughed high-pitched and it bled into a desperate sound when his drunken mind supplied pictures of that blonde guy writhing in his arms.

Suddenly Cas was in Dean’s personal space and audibly scenting him. He was growling lowly and Dean couldn’t suppress a moan, which made the Alpha growl deeper.

"D-don’t smell me now, Alpha." Dean all but whined because in his drunken state he couldn’t deal normally with the Were being so close. "I smell like piss and alcohol and-and…" _and sex_. Dean knew the Alpha could smell that other man’s spunk on him and he felt so bad about it he started sobbing dryly. "I shouldn’t have left you. I’m fucking sorry, okay? It was awful and y-you were here all alone and I-I shouldn’t have, shouldn’t…"

But Cas surprised him by pressing even closer, cradling Dean to his naked chest in a comforting hug. One of his hands went up to groom Dean’s hair slowly and he could feel the Alpha’s mouth against his temple as Cas began purring. It was the comforting purr rather than the content one and Dean immediately knew the Alpha was trying to sooth Dean; was forgiving him; was protecting him.

Dean clung to the Alpha and tried to control his breathing as they stood pressed together for a long while in the dark kitchen and Dean was later not really sure how he got into bed. Was in fact not sure he hadn’t fallen asleep in that kitchen and that Cas hadn’t carried him to their bed. But that was ridiculous, Dean thought as he woke with a bitch of a hangover the next day, because that would mean the Were had undressed him as well and that could just not be true.

Even so, Dean spent the day in a remorseful state of hungover sickness and guilt. And Cas spent it purring soothingly as soon as Dean was in the same room.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to take a little time here to answer a FAQ. I was a little on the fence on whether I wanted to answer it at all or if it would spoil the fic for you but then I realized that I’ve basically already spoiled it by tagging it _POV Dean_ so here goes nothing!
> 
> There will not be any more of Cas’ POV in this fic. I have intentionally chosen only Dean’s POV as my writing tool for this fic and I will not change my mind about this.
> 
> If this somehow discourages you from reading I completely understand and you are of course free to leave, even if it will make me extremely sad to see you go. Nevertheless, you should only read what you want to read and if this is not it then thank you for sticking with it at least this long. There is a lot more to come and I wouldn’t want any of you to feel like you are wasting your time.
> 
> Thank you!

  
  


_Dean gripped the sheets beneath him, his hips rising to meet the desired friction. Slim fingers wrapped around his heated erection and he mewled out his pleasure, his back arching._

_"Cas." He gasped and the hand sped up. "Oh God, I ne-need…" he bit himself off with a low groan when the Alpha’s face swam into view._

_"So good Dean." Cas purred and Dean’s hips bucked up harder, his dick weeping. He could feel it catching on Cas’ fingers and the Alpha used it to slick Dean’s dick up as he kept pumping him._

_"Alpha, Alpha, Alpha." Dean chanted and he could feel Cas’ hot breath on his cheek._

_"Dean." The Were murmured and Dean turned his head towards the sound, gripping the sheets harder as his climax rushed through him._

_"Dean."_

_"Cas?"_

  


"Dean."

Dean’s eyes snapped open and he instantly froze, his stomach an icy pit as he stared into the blue eyes of the very Alpha he had been dreaming about. It took him about point five seconds to realize that Cas had his hand wrapped around Dean’s straining dick for real and that Dean totally was two strokes away from coming.

"What’re you doin’?" he croaked and Cas shushed him.

"You were crying out in your sleep."

Shit, Cas just went right back to stroking and Dean’s hips snapped up to meet him. "Oh, shit, Cas don’t, I-I’ll—" he gasped pitifully and curled in on himself, his forehead pressed to Cas’ chest and his hands in fists around the sheets. Fuck, he was going to come in the Alpha’s hand and he wanted to so badly but he _shouldn’t_. Cas didn’t know what he was doing, or at least didn’t know that it was wrong.

Then Cas started purring and Dean knew he was done for. He fucked the meaty tunnel of Cas’ strong hand about three times more before coming like a goddamn tidal wave. He moaned loudly and wanted to kiss the Alpha so bad he was basically crying from the need.

"C-Cas, let me go." He stuttered out when the Alpha seemed content with fondling Dean’s sensitive dick. Cas did as bid but made a disgruntled sound that Dean needed not to interpret the wrong fucking way.

He rolled out of the Alpha’s loose embrace, hunching over at the edge of the bed and trying to ignore the pit in his stomach and Cas’ questioning whine.

"It wasn’t right." Dean said with his back to Cas and his head in his hands. "I-I’m sorry I can’t control my body but it has nothing to do with you. It’s… I guess Weres help each other out but I’m human." He turned a no doubt distressed face to look at the confused Alpha. "You understand the difference, right?"

Cas’ tongue clicked as he swallowed and he looked at Dean for a long time, his expression unreadable, before he leaned back in bed and huffed in answer. Dean supposed that was as good as it was going to get.

"‘M gonna go wash up." He mumbled and rose on unsteady legs, hitching his boxers up over his spent dick.

He turned in the door, not knowing what to say but needing to say something. This fucking escalated quickly. From calming Cas with his scent, to crying in the Alpha’s arms, to getting a sloppy hand-job from him. This was Dean’s fault. He was probably projecting his feelings onto the Alpha. He shouldn’t use his own scent to calm Cas and he definitely shouldn’t have gotten that drunk and then messed up by crying like that, by revealing too much. It must have confused the shit out of the Alpha. Sure, Cas had calmed Dean down and had guarded Dean very closely the last couple of days and Dean had loved it but had it given the Were the wrong idea? Fuck, Dean didn’t know but he knew that whatever it was that was happening here had to stop.

But whatever he had to say stuck on his tongue when he watched as if in slow motion how the Alpha brought up the hand smeared with Dean’s come to sniff it and then fucking _lick his fingers clean_. Dean very barely managed not to squeak at that before he fled out of the room. Fucking hell, this was so getting out of control.

  
  


*****

  
  


The days that followed were… if not _frosty_ then at least awkward. Cas was still behaving the same, except perhaps not as doting as he had been after Dean’s hang-over, but Dean caught him a few times just kind of staring at Dean and when their eyes met the Alpha quickly looked away, which was weird considering how he had always reacted before. Dean kind of wanted to ask someone about it but didn’t know who. Should probably ask Cas, if no one else, but Dean was too much of a coward for that.

The evenings were spent in strange silence where Dean would sit down with a beer to watch TV and just about expect Cas to join him like he had done so far. But the Alpha had stayed in the kitchen, diligently working on his writing and while Dean was very proud of the Were he was starting to grow concerned. Something between them was shifting and Dean didn’t know if it was good or bad, just that he missed Cas purring on the couch beside him.

The day before Kevin would come visit Dean once again found himself alone on the couch. He was off work for the day and thought he should make use of the time by either helping Cas or actually read some of those books to maybe figure out what he had done wrong — except the obvious, of course. Dean knew very well what he had done that morning, fucking Cas’ hand like that, and he was scared that that was what this was about. But Cas was still sleeping in the bed beside Dean like nothing had happened so that was good, at least.

Just as Dean was considering cracking those books open his phone rang and he pawed it out of his pocket only to see the caller-ID flash _Ash_.

"Hey, man." He answered and heard Ash shush someone.

"Hey. I’m not bothering you?"

Dean crossed his feet where he lay stretched out on the couch. "Not overly, what’s up?"

"Well, I’m watching this Omega for my friend Bela."

Dean smirked to himself. "You mean that hot friend who you’ve totally been ogling?"

"Shut up. Yes." Ash sighed deeply. "Look, this Omega’s really a hand-full. I think he’s super bored, can we come over for a while? Let the Weres play or whatever."

Dean tensed. "I dunno." He said slowly, sitting up and looking over to the kitchen. He couldn’t see inside the room from this angle but the light was definitely still on. "I didn’t get to tell you before but Cas’ been through some rough shit before he came to live with me. He can be… unpredictable." Well, that wasn’t the right word but Dean didn’t know what else to say. Couldn’t very well say that he thought mixing a Feral Alpha with a Domesticated Omega would be a bad idea. Also couldn’t say that he was scared something was different between him and the Alpha now that he had let Cas jerk him off.

"Is he dangerous?"

"Not really." Dean admitted because he didn’t think so. Or, rather, he _knew_ that Cas was dangerous but he also trusted the Alpha not to overreact. Judging by the way he had just tapped out of the Roadhouse instead of attacking anyone like he had Sam, Dean just knew that Cas would be on his best behavior. Still, instincts were hard-fought. On the other hand, maybe Cas was lacking in Were-interaction? Maybe that was why he was in a funk. "Let me go ask him what he thinks."

"Sure." Ash agreed but sounded confused about it, as if Cas’ opinion didn’t really matter that much and Dean got it, in the way you didn’t ask if your dog wanted to tag along to meet another dog, but it still grated on his nerves.

"Alpha?" he called and cradled the phone to his shoulder as he walked into the kitchen. Cas answered with a grunt and was looking expectantly at Dean when he entered. Dean swallowed. "Ash asked if he can bring over an Omega he’s watching, would you like that?"

For some reason Dean wanted Cas to say no. The urge swept over him like a blanket of black guilt and selfishness and he had to sit down. Fuck. Hadn’t known just saying the words out loud to Cas would make him feel like that…

Cas tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

Dean shrugged half-heartedly. "Ash thinks he’s bored and maybe…" Dean fiddled with the corner of the book Cas had splayed open before him. "Maybe you are too? I dunno, I’ll just tell him no."

Cas caught his hand and squeezed once, making Dean’s heart jump. "It’s fine."

Dean got the feeling that the Alpha was agreeing with this because he thought it was what Dean wanted. Well, maybe Dean didn’t want this. Maybe he wanted the opposite; wanted Cas for himself. But Dean mustn’t think like that so he just nodded and raised the phone to his ear, using the excuse of leaning back to pull his hand from Cas’ slack grip without it being strange.

"You still here?"

"Yeah, man." Ash said and sounded as if he was squishing the phone between his cheek and shoulder. "You up for it?"

"Sure. When?"

"Um…" there was some rustling and then Dean heard Ash clearer. "Half an hour?"

"I’ll put on the coffee."

They ended the call at that and Dean looked at the kitchen table, littered with Cas’ papers and pens. The Were had taken to using different colors for different tasks after Dean had bought him felt pens in all the colors of the rainbow. It had been a joke because Dean didn’t have that many pencils and he had thought Cas would need something to write with as he practiced. But the Alpha had really liked them and Dean couldn’t help smiling at the way Cas’ fingers were stained most evenings.

"We should clean up." He said and the Alpha nodded, gathering his papers in a much neater way than Dean would have done it. Which was why Dean wasn’t allowed to rifle through Cas’ papers and books anymore. Man, that had been a bitchface worthy of Sammy’s…

"Remember," Dean said later as Cas was prepping the coffee maker and Dean was pulling out mugs. "This is a Domesticated Omega. I don’t know him but I think he was Farm bred, just like Anna. Just… be careful."

Cas snorted out a half-laugh and turned back to the coffee maker. He still didn’t know how to count but he measured out the spoons by filling a measure cup that Dean used for baking up to the marking Dean had pointed out to him. Dean really ought to teach the Alpha how to count, he thought absentmindedly as he watched how Cas carefully emptied the cup into the coffee maker and then started filling it again because Dean had told him to so it would be a double serving.

"I’m just saying, don’t be alarmed if you think he’s acting weird or smells odd" Cas opened his mouth to answer but they were interrupted by the doorbell. "You finish here, Alpha." Dean said and walked out to open the door.

Ash was looking frustrated and the Were that stood beside him had his arms crossed and was looking away with a pout. He had on one of those shock collars that Dean hated and the blue Omega tag dangled from it. Both the collar and the tag looked much fancier than Cas’ and Dean judged from that and the Omega’s clothes that Bela certainly was spoiling him.

"Thank Jesus for the distraction, huh?" Ash muttered as he let himself in, the Omega tagging along. "This is Balthazar and he’s an ass."

The Omega bared his teeth and hissed at Ash before turning to Dean. It was a tall and slender male, his features attractive and his blonde hair unfortunately reminding Dean a little too much of that disaster of a hook up last week.

"I’m Dean." Dean said and extended his left arm for the Omega. "Please come in, Omega."

The Omega blinked at him, probably not that used to people using his subgender to address him and Dean had to force away that blush. Humans tended to do that with Alphas because they were a lot more prideful than both Omegas and Betas but otherwise they usually used the given names. The Omega didn’t look displeased, however, just curious.

He bent down and scented Dean quickly before offering Dean a little half-smile. "You smell better than this aptly named ashtray." He stated in a flawless British accent and it was Dean’s turn to blink.

Sure, he was used to Anna babbling away all the time but he had spent so much time with Cas that he had almost forgotten that most Domesticated Weres spoke just as well, and sometimes better, than humans did.

Ash interrupted them by snorting. "Whatever, do I smell coffee?"

"Yeah, Cas’ has prepped it." Dean said and showed them to the kitchen, the Omega scenting the air as they walked into the apartment.

"Your Alpha does things? Like, actually helps out?" Ash shook his head and glared at Balthazar who bared his teeth again. "You could learn, you know."

Dean smirked to himself but they were interrupted when Cas suddenly stepped in front of them.

"Oh, good." Dean said and turned half-way to point at Ash and Balthazar. "Alpha, this is Ash, you remember him? And this is Balthazar, the Ome—"

Balthazar cut him off by shoving past Dean and right the fuck into Cas’ space, just like Anna had done and Dean gritted his teeth. He had known this would fucking happen and this was why he had wanted Cas to refuse the visit. Other Weres were apparently drawn to Cas like fucking moths to a flame and Dean didn’t know if it was because he was an Alpha in the pack-leading age or if it was because he was a Feral and his scent was more potent — or simply because Cas was awesome — but Dean hated it, all right? Sure, fun for Cas to the be the popular one but Dean was stupidly possessive and that was that.

Still, this would be good for the Alpha, right? Cas had been sad or annoyed ever since Dean had lost control in bed like that and some Were-to-Were interaction would maybe help? He kind of wished he had taken the Alpha to see Anna, though, because Cas had explicitly said he wouldn’t have sex with her. This, however, was an unmated Omega about the same age as Cas and who was in no way family to neither Cas nor Dean. This, Dean supposed, was fair game.

The Weres circled each other and then Balthazar pushed his nose against Cas’ neck, scenting him and mewling out a string that Dean could pretty fucking clearly imagine the meaning of.

"Uh… Is this normal, man?" Ash asked in a low whisper and Dean watched with jealous eyes how Cas took a strong grip on the Omega’s neck.

"I s’pose." He gritted out and Cas’ eyes snapped up to Dean’s at the sound of his voice.

He still had a strong grip on the Omega’s neck, Balthazar still nuzzling Cas’ neck and mewling, but he was meeting Dean’s eyes steadily and Dean didn’t know what to do.

"Alpha." Balthazar suddenly breathed and Cas’ grip on him tightened as he growled. The Omega fell silent immediately and just like that Cas was hauling Balthazar down the hall to his mostly unused room.

"What is he doing?" Ash asked, sounding more alarmed than Dean had ever heard him and he could understand why. If Ash was watching the Omega for Bela then it would look _really_ bad if he came back mated, or even fucked out.

But Dean wasn’t worried — well, he was a little worried — because he knew that Cas wouldn’t do anything rash. Somehow, deep inside, he knew that Cas was just acting on instinct but that he wouldn’t _over_ react. Besides, Cas hadn’t liked Anna’s scent very much because she was sterilized and this Omegas was most probably sterilized as well so no need to worry. No. Need. At. All.

"I’m sure it’s fine." Dean said as calmly as he could. "He did the same thing with Anna when they first met, I think he just likes to acquaint himself with new Weres in a private space. Come on, we’ll have some coffee while we wait."

"What happened to him?" Ash asked as he sat down at the table, accepting the coffee that Dean offered him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Ash took a long sip and Dean sat down across from him, totally not straining to hear any noises coming from Cas’ room. "You said before that he’s been through some stuff, what was it?"

"Oh, uh…" Dean cleared his throat and looked down at his coffee, wishing he knew more than he did. He should ask Cas about who assaulted him and where. No matter that he was Feral and Ferals were hunted, it was still against the law to do it and it was definitely against the law to beat them up. "His last owner beat him and shit."

Ash made a face. "Ouch. No wonder he got scared at the Roadhouse the other day."

Dean snorted out a laugh. "Yeah, not so much scared as angered."

"Shit, you mean he was gonna jump us?" Ash made big eyes and looked in the direction of the two Weres.

Dean shook his head. "Maybe if he’d been alone but he has promised me not to go into rage so he didn’t."

"He must really trust you, dude." Ash said with an astonished face.

Dean smiled to himself. "I hope so. I asked him not to be weird about Balthazar so…"

Ash laughed and it calmed Dean. He really liked his friend, even if Ash was stoned most of the time. He was smart and easy going and Dean needed that sometimes just as much as he needed Sam’s level-headedness.

Their conversation eased after that and turned to other things, like the car Dean was working on, like Bela, like the apartment Ash was hoping to lease to get out of living above the Roadhouse. It was nearly two hours later when Ash’s phone alarm went off and he sighed as he shut it off.

"I promised Ellen I’d help her out today." He explained and got to his feet together with Dean.

"Smart setting the alarm." Dean grinned and Ash made a face at him.

"You know I forget."

Dean just shook his head fondly as they walked to Cas’ room, knocking softly before they entered. Dean was apprehensive about what he would find and wasn’t very pleased with the sight that met them but at least the Weres weren’t fucking

Cas was on the bed, sitting with his back leaned against the headboard, and Balthazar was stretched out on his stomach in the V of Cas’ legs, his head rested on Cas’ stomach as Cas groomed him slowly. Balthazar was purring and didn’t seem to notice when the two humans entered the room.

"Time to go." Ash declared loudly and Balthazar’s purring stopped immediately and he opened his eyes to glare at Ash. "Don’t give me that bitchface." Ash sighed but didn’t step closer.

"Everything alright?" Dean asked and looked straight at Cas, trying to keep his voice indifferent but was mostly unsuccessful.

Cas looked at Dean for a long while and the banter of the other Were and Ash kind of drowned in the rushing of Dean’s blood in his ears. Cas’ eyes were calculating and he still had his hand snagged in Balthazar’s hair, unmoving now but still there.

"Balthazar!" Ash suddenly barked and brought Dean out of his staring. He looked over to see the Omega hiding his face against Cas’ stomach and hugging the Alpha tightly.

Dean’s eyes softened. "Alpha, they need to go now."

There was no discernable shift in Cas’ expression but Dean knew he had understood anyway. The Alpha bent down over the Omega and scratched his head as he growled softly. Balthazar shook his head and whined petulantly but that only made Cas grip his hair harder and growl more assertively. Dean watched with the same jealous eyes as before and when Cas looked up he didn’t have time to hide his expression. The Alpha’s eyes were unreadable but Dean looked away, ashamed, nonetheless.

Balthazar got up anyway, grumbling all the way over to Ash and past him, out into the hallway and it didn’t look like he was planning on waiting for Ash before leaving.

"Primadonna." Ash snorted and saluted Dean in goodbye before walking after the Omega.

So suddenly Dean was alone with Cas and he just knew that the Alpha had seen his expression from before and even if the Were didn't know it was jealousy he had seen in Dean’s eyes he was at least smart enough to figure out Dean was unhappy with what he had seen here in the room. And Dean wanted to rectify, to see what damage had been done, to assure Cas that if he wanted to cuddle with other Weres then that was okay. But he couldn’t.

Mainly because he was afraid to bring attention to his own shortcomings but also because he was totally not okay with the cuddly way Balthazar had snuggled with Cas’ stomach. Okay, so maybe it had looked more like family hugging than lovers making out but the Omega had still been too fucking close to Cas for Dean’s comfort and he didn’t care if Weres interacted like that. He didn’t want to share and that was that, as unreasonable as it might be.

And then Cas was up in Dean’s personal space, growling dangerously. And not dangerous like threateningly or warningly but dangerous because it meant something, that growl, and not even Dean could explain it away by convincing himself he was projecting his feelings onto Cas. Because that growl meant _safety_ , _warmth_ , _I’m not leaving you_ , and Dean wanted to cry but thankfully managed not to.

"So, ah…" he cleared his throat when his words sounded too croaky. "Did you have fun?"

Cas grunted in agreement and walked close enough that Dean had to back up or end up with his arms full of Alpha. But it seemed Cas was only interested in getting out of the room and Dean had inadvertently blocked the exit, because as soon as Dean stepped back Cas walked around him and headed to the kitchen.

"What do you want for dinner?" Cas asked over his shoulder as if he was going to make Dean something. It made Dean smile to himself despite the churning in his stomach.

"Chili?" he asked as he followed and Cas grunted again.

"And we could finish that TV show you showed me a couple of days ago? The one of Netflix?"

Okay, Dean had to stop right there not to have a mental breakdown. He didn’t know if he was about to laugh or cry or get aroused because no way did the Alpha know what Netflix and chill meant, right? No, the Were just wanted to get back to where they had been before, eating and then watching TV together and Dean should be happy about that. Was in fact very pleased how fast Cas had learned about the Netflix feature because he spent his days watching movies and TV shows and Dean didn’t have to worry about him being bored.

So, Netflix and chill— _chili_ sounded awesome and Dean needed to get a grip. Man, he was all over the place lately.

"Great." He answered and had to cough to cover his grin when Cas looked questioningly over at him.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

  
  


"You sure you have everything you need?"

Kevin looked around the living room where he had already managed to spread out his papers and bags. He had a tape recorder with him but also a notebook ready to write in, some small details already jotted down.

"I think so, yes." He said with an enthusiastic smile and Dean smiled warily back at him before handing Cas a bottle of water. The Alpha was more relaxed than Dean about this whole thing and Dean had to think that that was because the Were didn’t smell anything malicious about the kid. Kevin was just so excited to interview Cas for his dissertation and really seemed very harmless.

He had even assured Dean that he would never break their trust not only for them but for himself; he didn’t want his paper questioned. So he referred to Cas as _Steve_ in his work and had worked out a contract together with one of his friends from law school where he stated that he would never reveal Cas’ true identity or current location. It also stated that evidence of whatever the Were gave Kevin during these interviews — like his voice on tape — would be immediately destroyed after the dissertation was done and would never be shared with anyone else. The contract was similar to the ones he had drawn for the other Alpha’s, Kevin had explained, and would be the only physical thing from these interviews that would be included in the final paper. The other two Weres had signed with X’s so Dean told Cas to do the same so as not to give too much away.

So Dean was apprehensive but that contract put his mind a little at ease at least. "Good, so this is gonna take a while, right? I was thinking of taking a shower, is that okay?"

"Absolutely." Kevin agreed immediately. "I was just about to ask you to leave, some information can be sensitive."

Dean frowned a little and resisted rebuffing the kid by telling him he had been asking Cas. Instead he just leaned down a little to get at Cas’ eye-level where he sat on the couch across from Kevin.

"Remember you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to." He said in a low tone even though Kevin clearly could hear him anyway. "And it’s okay if you want to stop it, I’ll be right down the hall."

Cas looked at him with fond eyes, almost as if to say that he was a big boy and that Dean should stop worrying. Well, Dean worried, it was his thing, alright?

But Cas gave his agreeing grunt and Dean straightened with a nod.

"Oh my God, what was that?" Kevin exclaimed and leaned forwards, his pencil perched on his notebook. "That sound, what did it mean?"

Dean opened his mouth to answer but Cas cut him to the chase by chuckling. It was that sound that made Dean weak in the knees and yeah, Dean really needed to bow out now. So he took the out and walked away slowly.

"I agreed with Dean."

"And Dean understands you? Even when you just use your more animalistic words? I noticed that last time as well."

"Yes, Dean understands me most of the time." Cas answered with a soft voice that made Dean speed up until he was finally alone in his bedroom.

He stood for a while and listened to the low murmur of Kevin and Cas talking out in the living room and it felt calming. But Dean was a man on a mission and he was not about to miss out on this opportunity.

Okay, so Dean had been _really_ good and hadn’t watched any porn and basically not jerked off at all since Cas came to live with him. It was out of courtesy for the Were but also because he was uncertain if Cas could smell it on him or not and it made him uneasy to think about.

So yeah, Dean thought his semi-forced/self-induced chastity would be a good thing. Would be the noble thing. But apparently not because just look where the fuck that had gotten him, waking up raging hard every morning, coming in his boxers in the hall, fucking Cas’ hand. No, Dean had thought he had done the right thing and maybe it still was but he had to face the facts and admit that he was suffering from abstinence, porn abstinence. He had tried fucking another dude and it hadn’t worked out. He had thought about calling one of his old fuck-buddies but Victor was apparently in a relationship and Benny was God knew where. Dean would just have to man up and do this by himself.

And totally jerk off in silence with the porn muted behind a locked bathroom door while Cas was distracted by Kevin. Golden plan, really.

So Dean dug out his laptop from under weeks of dust and begged to whatever God was listening that the battery would be enough because it was one thing to sneak a laptop into the bathroom but it would just be ridiculous to bring the charger too…

He did the completely stupid thing where he opened the door slowly and peeked out into the hall before practically bolting over to the bathroom. Way to be inconspicuous, Winchester.

Well inside he locked the door and breathed a sigh of relief before sitting down on the toilet and booting up the computer. Man, he was already starting to get excited. Arousal swam low in the pit of his stomach and his dick was already twitching and fattening up in his pants.

He gently placed the computer on the hamper across from the toilet and shucked off all his clothes except for his boxers. His foot was tapping against the rug under the toilet as he tapped into his favorite porn site and he made damn sure the sound was not on before he even started one of the videos.

He noticed with glee that one of the channels he was subscribing to had posted several new videos in the last three weeks. Fuck, Dean had to adjust himself as he read the descriptions to them. He was already leaking and the slight rubbing as he shifted his dick around felt so fucking good it felt like torture to remove his hand. But he didn't want this to be over too soon so he put one hand on his hip as he clicked through the videos.

One of them hit a little too close to home with a dark haired Alpha knotting a freckled man. Fuck. Yeah, Dean was hard enough to hurt just from looking at the thumbnail and he shifted his dick again, letting the head peak out over the waistband. The cool air cooled his arousal down momentarily but he could feel the fire burning low in his stomach and knew it wouldn’t relent so easily.

The description to the video was short with just a _big alpha knots his new bitch_ but it still made Dean’s breath stutter and he pressed his thighs together momentarily as he felt a familiar ache down in his ass.

He listened for a while to see if he could hear Kevin and Cas from in here — he couldn’t — and to make sure they weren’t coming for him — no.

When he was sure he was still alone he clicked the video with shaking fingers. Knotting had always been an extremely guilty pleasure for Dean. As if it wasn’t enough that it was Were on human sex, it also involved something so big being forced inside a hole clearly not meant for it, plus the fact that Alphas basically only popped a knot when they were in rut, making them vulnerable and extremely horny all at the same time. God, Dean wanted that. He knew it would hurt but if other guys could deal with fisting then Dean supposed he could deal with a knot, which was after all smaller than a big fist.

For a wild moment he thought the sound would somehow magically come alive and expose him but of course it didn’t and the video started with barely any buffering needed, thank God for small mercies. It was a long video, featuring foreplay and the prep needed. Or, at least as much foreplay as an Alpha in rut could afford. By the length of the video Dean guessed this would also include how the Alpha tied off the human, staying inside as his cock kept pumping spurt after spurt into the moaning mess of a man—and oh God, Dean was suddenly much too close to the edge.

"Fucking hell." He breathed and leaned back against the cool toilet as he watched how the Alpha stalked up to the human who tried to act as if he didn’t want this at first, even though his own hard-on kind of ruined the illusion.

Dean closed his hand around the head of his dick and tried to block out the thoughts that this most probably was a Manufactured Were, one kept for breeding so that he would know nothing else than sex and ruts and pheromones. No, Dean wanted to pretend the Were wanted the human because he wanted _him_ , because they shared something secret. The video did a good job of setting up that lie.

Dean’s dick was aching and his balls were already so high and fucking hell, the Alpha had barely even touched the man. But the thought alone was enough to push Dean over the edge in his frustrated state. So with just some small rubbing to the sensitive glands just under the head of his dick he was fucking coming in big, fat stripes all over his stomach and chest.

He had to bite the knuckles of his other hand to keep from moaning because it felt good enough to make him see black spots. And yet it wasn’t enough.

His whole body ached with the _need_ and the video hadn’t even really begun yet. But Dean realized he needed more than to just fuck his fist and he needed a shower anyhow. So he paused the video and stood up to pull off his boxers and use them to wipe off the worst of the spunk before tossing them to the floor and angling the computer to the shower instead.

This was a bad idea, of course, just as many of Dean’s other ideas concerning sex and Weres but he was driven by this primal need and letting it take over felt very good.

The shower head was on the other end and Dean thought that as long as he had the curtain drawn enough he wouldn’t get water on the laptop and he would still be able to see the video. Because he needed the porn. Tonight it made his thoughts not wander because he had to focus on the actors in it and that was good. Plus, he knew he couldn’t suffice with fantasies right now, he _needed_ to watch an Alpha fuck something or he would go fucking insane right the fuck now.

He started the video just before he jumped into the shower and okay, the screen felt a little small from this distance but it was better than nothing. He could still clearly see the Alpha’s engorged cock and it invigorated his own dick like nothing else.

He took some time lathering up and enjoying the hot water as the Alpha took his sweet time fingering the human while licking the man’s dick. Dean put two fingers to his hole just as the man in the video screamed out his first orgasm. Fuck, Dean wanted to hear it. Wanted to hear the Alpha’s obvious growls even more. But like this was fine too, like this he could kind of imagine Cas’ sounds instead and even thought that was a bad thing to do it still felt awesome as he fingered himself to the video.

One finger slipped in without much problem with the aid of soap and water and Dean leaned his other hand on the wall to keep his balance as he canted his hips up to gain better access. The Alpha was rubbing his fat Alpha cock against the human’s no doubt sensitive one and it looked so fucking good, seeing all that hardness pressed against the softness.

"Shit…" Dean breathed when he found his prostate. White-hot pleasure licked up his spine and he groaned as he added another finger. He wished he had had the wits to bring his dildo in here because suddenly his fingers didn’t seem enough. God, he wanted fat and big and _hard_ inside him so badly he could barely breathe.

He squeezed around his own fingers and added a third one way too soon, needing the stretch more than anything else. His breath was coming in short, stuttering puffs and his dick hang heavy between his legs, hard again already.

He missed some of the action on the video and when he looked back over the Alpha was pushing inside the human, the man screaming from the look of it. The Alpha was snarling and snapping his jaws but Manufactured breeders were too well trained to bite someone during sex. Otherwise they would put mouthguards on them to keep them from hurting themselves or their partner. It was just a little plastic thing that the Were could bite on instead but Dean liked it when they didn’t need that. Not because he liked how the breeders were trained but because without the mouthguard it felt more real.

The hand he had on the wall curled into a fist as he watched the Alpha pound slowly but steadily into the human. Dean tried matching the pace, he really did, but he was still so tightly strung that he couldn’t keep it slow for long. The Alpha looked so good too, all lean muscles and rolling hips and too much alike a certain other Alpha for Dean not to go there, again.

"Fuck, Cas, oh please." He whined because he couldn’t not when he fucked himself harder on his fingers as he watched the Alpha in the video.

In the steamy air and at this distance he could almost pretend he was watching Cas fuck someone and oh God, it was almost too much. He leaned his shoulder against the wall instead, the angle strange if he wanted to keep watching the video — which he did — but he had to free his other hand to grip his dick. He could see even from this distance that there was a lot left of the video but he didn’t care; he needed to get off now.

He moaned much too loudly when he gripped himself but it just felt so good to wrap his hand tightly around his throbbing dick. He pumped his fingers in and out of himself at a harsh pace while rubbing just the head of his dick again and the double sensation was too much; too good.

He came with a hoarse shout that he _really_ wished he had managed to suppress. But to be honest the pleasure his second orgasm brought made him giddy enough not to care too much at the moment. Fuck yeah, that had really hit the spot.

He stood leaned against the wall a little while longer, leisurely rubbing against his inner walls as he watched how the Alpha continued to fuck into his human partner. The human was grinning and stroking the Alpha’s face almost too lovingly for a porn video but Dean didn’t mind. It looked nice and made him smile to himself as he grazed his prostate a couple of times, making himself jump and wishing that it was someone else in there in the shower doing that to him.

He felt sated and happy when he finally exited the bathroom almost thirty minutes later. Steam billowed out after him and he walked briskly to his bedroom to put away the laptop and pull on clean clothes.

When he got out to the living room Kevin was writing furiously and talking out loud, half to himself and half to Cas, Dean suspected. The kid really reminded him of Sam when Sammy got in that study mode of his.

"Everything going alright?" he asked and only then caught Cas’ intense stare. Shit, had the Alpha been looking at him this whole time? Dean smiled gently at Cas who only continued to stare, which, okay, was pretty much back to how the Alpha had been in the beginning but was something wrong or what?

"This is awesome." Kevin exclaimed and tapped his notebook when Dean looked over at him. "Cas’ giving me so much to work with, do you even understand how much humans just assume that’s in fact not correct? And look," he dug around on the couch and then held up the Rubik’s cube. Cas had managed to start solving two sides at a time now and Dean could see that the blue and green sides were complete. "Alphas are _not_ the stupider subgender by default."

"I dunno." Dean grinned and took the cube from Kevin. "Might be it’s just Cas that’s awesome."

Cas snorted and Kevin laughed. "Might be but this is going in my paper, this is great!"

Dean flipped the cube back down on the couch and beamed at Cas. "I know."

Cas just answered with yet another stare but his blue eyes were twinkling so Dean knew he was smiling on the inside.

  
  


*****

  
  


"I’m glad everything seemed to work out." Dean said over dinner later that day when Kevin had bounced out of the apartment, arms full of his books and papers, a new interview already decided on.

Man, the kid had seemed so happy Dean couldn’t help grinning just thinking about it. And to his immense relief Cas seemed to take all this in stride as well, almost looking fatherly at Kevin and Dean thought that maybe the Alpha was feeling protective over the kid as well. For some reason that didn’t make Dean half as jealous as it had with others before and he thought that maybe that was because Kevin gave off more of the little brother vibe than a potential mate vibe. Dean was really stupid sometimes.

He felt relaxed and sated, though, his jerk-off session having calmed him down and he resigned to having to watch porn more often, somehow, because it really seemed he needed it. Whatever it took to make him act more normal towards Cas would be worth it, he thought.

They were now sitting in the living room, watching Dr. Sexy and eating Mac ‘n Cheese that Dean had whipped up after Kevin had left and Cas had admitted to being starved. It wasn’t the homemade kind but the one that came from a box and Dean wasn’t very happy with the globby consistency but Cas didn’t seem to mind and Dean would do anything to keep his Alpha happy. Couldn’t have him starving, oh no.

Cas bobbed his head in answer to Dean’s statement and continued eating and watching the TV in silence. It was comfortable like this, the two of them alone on the couch, sharing a meal and just hanging out. This was what Dean had missed in his previous relationships, he knew. Not that Dean had had that many but with Benny Dean had at least thought he would be happy but something had been lacking. Benny was one of his best friends and the sex had been awesome but that last spark was missing, none of them had known what it was but they had agreed that it was lacking and now Dean knew. It was this, the easy-going, casual hang-out between sex. The kind of middle ground that came between sexual partners and best bros. The spark that made Dean warm and fluttery even though they were just watching TV and eating sticky Mac ‘n Cheese.

Dean wanted to shake those thoughts out of his head but he was still too sated from his earlier orgasms to manage the energy to berate himself. So he decided to be happy for a moment.

Cas surprised him by chuckling at that moment and Dean grinned to himself as he sat the now empty plate down on the coffee table beside Cas’ already clean one. There was a commercial break right now and a commercial showing Farmed Weres was showing. Dean couldn’t even describe the elatedness he felt at hearing Cas chuckle at the obvious ridiculousness of the commercial rather than get upset about the Domesticated Weres. Well, at least in the commercial they seemed happy and Cas had met two Domesticated Weres now and seemed to get along with both of them so maybe he was taking the whole thing a little easier now. Dean just hoped a commercial showing Manufactured Weres wouldn’t come on. Then again, how much TV did Cas watch when Dean wasn’t at home? How many of those commercials had he seen already? Had they made him upset or had he laughed those off as well?

Dean shook his head at himself.

"So what did you talk about today?" he asked and Cas turned his attention from the TV to Dean where he was leaned back on the couch.

"Were hierarchy mostly. And he wanted me to show him if I was capable of logical thinking."

Dean could hear on Cas’ tone that he was a little uncertain what that meant exactly but Dean smiled encouragingly at him. "And were you?" he asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I solved a little of the toy, he seemed to like that."

Dean laughed and drank the last of his beer, setting the empty bottle down beside the plates. "It’s because it’s damn impressing, Alpha. Shit, I can’t even solve two sides at the same time."

Cas quirked his lips at Dean. "It’s simple when you figure it out."

Dean shook his head fondly. Simple his ass. "And the hierarchy? Did he want to know if you Alphas really are the leaders or what?"

Cas nodded. "He wanted to hear if what you believe about packs is correct. And it is, basically."

Dean grinned. "Hell yeah, you would’ve made a great leader." Cas smiled a little too wistfully at that and it made Dean frown but he decided to push past it instead of bringing it up. "So what do you mean ‘basically’?"

Cas shrugged and it looked a little lopsided, as if he was only mimicking the motion. "Well for one you seem to think we have much bigger packs than we really do. A pack is mostly just about six adults and a couple of pups. The big gatherings humans have seen is simply a number of packs meeting."

"Really?" Dean said, actually surprised. "Huh, I always thought you had these big ass families."

"Not really." Cas admitted with a new quirk of his lips. "It’s just the Alpha and his mate and a couple of other Omegas and Betas and their pups, and when the Alpha’s Alpha pups gets old enough they leave with some of the other Omega and Beta pups to make a new pack. Sometimes a pup stays and an older Were leaves with the new pack, there really are no set rules."

Dean looked at Cas in surprise. "And other Alpha pups? I mean, can the other Betas impregnate someone who isn’t the Alpha’s mate?"

Cas took a big swig of water and then nodded. "They can, of course, even if the Alpha has first choice. And all other Alpha pups are killed at birth."

Cas made pleased sound when the commercial break was over and Dr. Sexy started again but Dean could do nothing but gape at the Were.

"I’m sorry, what?" he asked after too long in silence and Cas looked confusedly over at him as if he had thought they were done with that discussion. "Killed?"

"Well, yes." Cas deadpanned. "Only the Alpha’s pups are allowed to form new packs so if any of the other pups are born an Alpha they have to be killed. The leader’s pups cannot be questioned for dominance later."

Dean’s head spun a little because what the hell? Still, he had to remind himself that Weres _were_ different from humans and they had different ways of looking at things. Dominance was a particularly touchy subject for Alphas and the ability to lead and control a pack was very dependent on it. And Betas and Omegas really looked to their Alpha for safety and protection, what would a weak Alpha be able to contribute? But still, pups were just _babies_.

"Would you do it?" he mumbled after a while spent just staring at each other. "If you had a pack, would you kill the pups?"

Cas broke eye-contact and looked out into nothingness. He looked much more worn-out all of a sudden and Dean wanted to take back the question just as much as he wanted to hear the answer.

"I would’ve had to." Cas answered after a while, his voice low. "If anyone in my pack would have…" he drew a deep sigh and looked sadder than ever.

"So you do have a pack of you own!" Dean exclaimed and startled Cas out of his thoughts. "Sorry, I’ve just been wondering. I mean, why’re you not with them?"

Cas opened his mouth but then snapped it shut again, looking away and definitely looking unhappy. "It doesn’t matter."

Dean turned more bodily to Cas. "Of course it does." He said much too enthusiastically but he couldn't help it; he had been wondering for too long to stop now that the question had come up naturally. "I mean, where are they? Wouldn’t you want to be with them? I guess you can’t all live here but wouldn’t you want to see them or they could come he—?"

"I don’t want to talk about it!" Cas suddenly barked in a voice that left no room for arguments. He rose abruptly and Dean only stared at him as Cas snarled down at him, hackles raised and the red of Alpha rage bleeding into his eyes. "Leave it." He growled warningly and stalked out of the living room, the door to his room slamming shut moments later.

Dean sat in absolute stunned silence for a long while, just staring after the Alpha with his eyes open wide in shock. That had been Cas’ Alpha voice, Dean had no doubt, and it scared him. Cas had never used it threateningly before that Dean knew about. Whatever had happened between Cas and his pack was obviously something that hurt the Alpha deeply and Dean regretted everything he had said. He had been right in not prodding until now so why the fuck hadn’t he let it be? Why did he have to be so selfish, wanting to push the Alpha only for his own curiosity’s sake?

Dean wasn’t surprised to feel the hollow blackness in his chest but he couldn’t endure it for long. He knew he had been in the wrong and he wanted nothing more than to soothe the upset Alpha. He couldn’t purr and everything he said would be too little but even so Dean couldn’t sit here while Cas wallowed in depression.

Slowly Dean got to his feet and slunk over to the bedroom door. He knocked silently and received a growl so loud he could hear it through the wood. He cringed at it but opened the door a little anyway.

"I’m coming in, Alpha." He said in a tone much sadder than he had thought to. Fuck, his chest hurt.

Inside there was of course no sign of the Were. The boxes Dean had stuffed in here were still unpacked, the bed unused. The only thing that indicated that this room was being used was the bag with the toys Sam had brought and the books that lay in a neat pile on the dresser. There was no Alpha, though, but Dean already knew where to look.

He padded over to the bed and did his best to ignore Cas’ low growls. When he kneeled down beside the bed to look under it he was met with the Alpha’s gleaming eyes but thankfully the red of Alpha rage was gone. Cas just looked wary and Dean’s heart skipped an uncomfortable beat.

"I’m sorry." Dean said sincerely. Hell, he had never been so fucking sincere in his whole life. "Would you please come out?"

Cas’ growl changed pitch to clearly indicate _no_ and Dean sighed, sitting back on his heels. Fuck he had fucked up now, hadn’t he? After just a moment’s hesitation he stretched out to lie on his stomach, facing the Alpha.

"Is it alright if I come in, then?"

Cas’ eyes darted between Dean’s and he studied Dean for a long time before he scooted back against the wall. Dean supposed that could mean either that Cas was trying to get away from him or that he was making room. He chose to interpret it as the latter and started inching his way in under the bed.

It was slow going and Dean was acutely aware of Cas watching his every movement. When he was finally just inches away from the Alpha he stopped to just look at him, trying not to breathe in too much dust.

"I should really clean under here." He muttered and Cas huffed, blowing up a gust of dust in Dean’s face, making him cough. "None of that, please Alpha." He croaked and saw that Cas’ eyes twinkled. So, okay, the bastard was mocking him, great.

They stayed like that for quite some time, just looking at each other and breathing in the dust-filled air. It was stuffy and a little claustrophobic but Dean could see the appeal as well. It felt safe, kind of, especially where Cas was pressed up against the wall would probably feel safe and guarded. Dean’s back was hurting a little, though, and he felt chilly on the side that was exposed to the rest of the room.

"Look," He started after a while. "I’m sorry I pressed you for information, it wasn’t right." He sighed when Cas said nothing in answer. Well, at least he had stopped growling as soon as Dean got under the bed with him. "I’m just… I figured you were the age where you should have a pack of your own and I’ve been wondering, maybe fearing—fuck, I think it’s awesome that you’re staying here with me, Cas." He drew a dust-filled breath when the Alpha made a sound he didn’t know but Cas made no other move. "I really like it." He said in a softer voice. "And I’ve always thought that there would come a day when you would leave me to get back to your pack but now I think that maybe you don’t have a pack for some reason and shit… Don’t-don’t hate me but I…" Dean closed his eyes against the burst of emotions that he shouldn’t have but couldn’t control. "I’m selfish enough to think that this could mean that maybe you would stay with me for…" he cleared his throat to get the raspiness out of it but didn't manage. "Forever." He whispered and could hear the Alpha shift closer. "And I want that."

Cas gave a low rumble at that and Dean dared open his eyes only to see the Alpha looking at him softly. Dean gulped and reached out a shaky hand to grasp one of Cas’ wrists, stroking his thumb over the Alpha’s pulse.

"I’m sorry something happened with your old pack but you’re in my pack now, okay? You’re my Alpha."

Cas inched even close at that and started purring. Closer and closer until they were nose to nose and their hands were pressed between their chests. But Dean didn’t let go of Cas’ wrist and the Alpha didn’t stop purring. Dean closed his eyes again when Cas brushed his nose against Dean’s and he let the soothing sound of the Alpha’s purr roll over him like a warm blanket, feeling safe in the cocoon it created.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, remember how Cas is an Alpha? And remember how Alphas and Omegas tend to go into ruts and heats respectively? Yeah…  
> Chapter 12 will be up on Sunday! :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck their fucking luck for making this happen right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like I oversold this chapter… But here we go with rut pt.1! :D

  
  


The following couple of days were the best days Dean had had in a long time. Cas was back to being almost doting and maybe it should be weird but Dean loved coming home to a purring Alpha waiting for him just inside the door. When he made Cas pancakes topped with honey the Alpha looked at him with such wondrously adoring eyes that Dean just wanted to curl up in Cas’ lap as the Were licked the plate clean.

They had visited Sam and Jess again, mainly because Sam had invited them and told them Anna hadn’t shut up about Cas. Dean was on the fence on what to feel about that but the Alpha seemed pleased so Dean decided not to make a big deal out of it. He was still feeling pretty awkward about revealing too much of his feelings even if it now in hindsight seemed like it had been the right call.

The second visit to Sam and Jess’ had gone better, Dean thought, mostly because the Weres had spent the whole time together with the humans, chatting and having a nice time. Anna had stayed close to Cas the whole time but the more Dean watched the more he thought it looked like a sister interacting with her bigger brother. Once again he wondered about Cas’ pack but of course said nothing.

So yeah, Dean was feeling awesome but now, the day after they had been to Sam’s, Dean was woken up rather harshly by the Alpha shaking his shoulder.

"Dean." Cas pressed out in a voice made for grinding stone. "Dean, wake up."

"I’m up." Dean mumbled in a garbled, sleep-tight voice. "I’m up, what’s happening?"

Cas had stopped shaking him now that he was awake but had rather started pushing him. Dean flailed so as not to fall to the floor and almost knocked down the alarm clock. Fuck it was early in the morning, Dean noted absentmindedly as he bit by bit grew more conscious.

"Dean, you need to leave."

Dean sat up out of Cas’ reach and the Alpha was anyhow only gripping the bed now. "What’s going on, Alpha?" he asked as he shook the last of the sleep away.

Cas answered in a long, drawn-out groan that sounded so filthy that Dean could do nothing but get fucking aroused so fast he got lightheaded.

"R-rut." Cas stuttered out and it was only then that Dean realized the Alpha was basically fucking the bed. His hips pistoned roughly and Dean couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed until now. "You need to leave."

"Shit, Cas." Dean croaked and carded a hand through his hair. "What the fuck do I do?"

" _Leave._ "

That one word was punched out of the Alpha just as the covers slipped back and revealed his taut body. His cock was hard and red, leaking where it lay pressed between Cas’ stomach and the mattress. The Alpha boxers he wore to bed nowadays were pulled down below his buttocks and Dean’s eyes glued to the movement of his hips for a heartbeat that felt like an eternity. Fuck, the Alpha was beautiful in his desperation.

"No but I…" Dean yelped in surprise when Cas lunged at him and pushed him off the bed.

"I can’t control myself, Dean." And fuck, the way he said Dean’s name carried such weight. He rose to his arms, looming over the edge and staring down at Dean where he sat on his rump on the floor, Cas’ eyes all black from lust and his handsome face contorted in pleasurable pain. "I cannot bear hurting _you_."

Dean was scrambling to his feet, snatching his phone on the way out and almost tripping in doing so because he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the lithe body of the Alpha.

"But I, fuck, I should help you. I should fucking know what to do!" he was by the door when Cas suddenly yowled and buried his face in Dean’s pillow as he came forcefully but Dean knew from what little he actually knew about ruts that that wouldn’t be enough.

Most Domesticated Alphas were of course sterilized to avoid this but Dean had watched enough porn to know this would be horrible for Cas if Dean couldn’t find a way to help him. How the fuck hadn’t he thought about this before? He was so used to Domesticated Weres that it hadn’t even fucking crossed his mind that Cas could go into rut. Not even after all those pornos he had watched and all the fantasies he had had about Cas had he thought it would actually happen. How the fuck stupid was he?! He had never hated himself for not reading those books as much as he did in that moment.

Dean grabbed the closest pair of clothes and ripped the door open. "I’ll be back, Alpha." He promised. "I’ll get things to help you, you just rest best you can."

Cas wasn’t listening, Dean could see. The Alpha was practically chewing on Dean’s pillow and already were his hips moving again. Fuck, it shouldn’t look so hot, not when he knew what pain Cas was in, but it was like something taken directly out of Dean’s dirtiest fantasies and he had to grab his own dick as he ungracefully stumbled out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

He stood for a moment with his back against the door, clutching his throbbing dick and listening to Cas’ desperate wails and eventually his concern for the Alpha won over his arousal. Fuck, ever since that day Kevin had been over and Dean had had a heart-to-heart with the Were under the bed everything had felt easier somehow. Had seemed like Dean and Cas would make this work. And even though Dean felt extremely embarrassed about how he had exposed himself like that he had still felt really good because Cas had accepted him.

And now… Now this was happening and Dean just stood there like a moron, not knowing what to do because he was an awful person. He had told Cas he was glad the Alpha had stayed and Cas had trusted him enough to stay but Dean couldn’t even fucking give him what he needed. Fucking hell.

He had to take a deep breath and wasn’t surprised to feel it was kind of wobbly. He quickly pulled on the jeans he had managed to take and just sighed to himself when he saw that the T-shirt was Cas’. It wasn’t really like anyone would notice, Dean thought, because all of the Were clothes Dean had bought looked exactly liked human clothes and Dean didn’t even know the fucking difference. Perhaps the material, he thought distractedly as he padded out to the kitchen where he could think without having to listen to Cas’ desperation. The T-shirt was much softer than any of Dean’s own and it definitely smelled like the Alpha. Dean took comfort in it as he dialed Sam’s number.

"Dean?" Sam answered sleepily and Dean could hear Jess in the background. "What time is it?"

"Cas’ in rut." Dean all but yelled because he didn’t have time with bullshit right now.

There was rustling on the other side and when Sam spoke again he sounded much more awake. "What do you mean? He’s sterilized, isn’t he?"

Fuck. "Apparently not, okay? What the fuck do I do?"

Sam sighed and Dean could hear the scolding that he was in for when this was over. Yes, he should have read the books and yes, he deserved a beating for not doing it but thankfully both Winchesters understood that that would have to wait. Cas’ well-being was more important.

"I’m guessing you don’t have any toys for him?"

"What, like sex-toys?" Dean could feel the embarrassment under the surface but his concern was too strong to let it through. "Like human sex-toys or does it have to be special?" he was of course thinking about his own dildo but what would that do for the Alpha? Alphas fucked _into_ things, everyone knew that.

"I think it’s special toys." Sam confirmed in a mumble and listened to Jess talking in the background for a while. "Okay, Jess says Pet World down by Dunkin’ Donuts have lots of stuff for Weres. You should go there as soon as they open and tell them about Cas, let them show you what to buy."

"Okay." Dean mumbled as he wrote it down on a piece of paper. "How bad can this get?"

"I think—" Sam was cut off and Dean heard some more rustling and then Jess was on the other end instead.

"Dean, this can get nasty." She deadpanned and Dean wanted to weep but was at least glad she was honest with him. "Ruts and heats can kill a Were if they’re left alone. They lose a little of their mind during it and forget to eat or drink. Drinking is especially important, Dean." She emphasized clearly and Dean nodded even though she obviously couldn’t see. "And keep in mind that Cas can get dangerous, he won’t be able to control himself and he can lash out at you or anyone getting too close, thinking they are the ones to keep him from whoever he wants to fuck, okay?"

"Yeah." Dean said weakly and thought of Cas’ rough voice. _I cannot bear hurting you._

"His mind’s gonna be filled with breeding and mating and you need to keep him away from people and other Weres. Just keep him in his room and only go in there when there seems to be a lull in the rut to give him food. Don’t engage him but stay close in case he needs help."

"Help?" Dean squeaked and immediately images of his porn videos flew before his eyes.

"You don’t know him very well but I think you’ll be able to hear if his noises go from regular frustration to actual danger. I’ve never had an Alpha and all Weres I’ve met have been sterilized but I’ve heard of Alphas and Omegas that reach a certain age where the ruts and heats can get dangerous for them on a physical level."

"You mean he could die of a fucking heart attack?" Dean all but screamed and suddenly his fear got lodged in his throat, making breathing unbearable.

"I don’t think Cas is in the risk zone of that." Jess said soothingly. "I’m just saying stay home with him."

"O-okay." Dean pressed out over that fucking lump in his throat.

"And you should fucking sue the shelter for not checking Cas and not telling you."

"Yeah."

"Prepare some food now, Dean." Jess instructed him and Dean thought she would become an awesome nurse when she was done in school. How she managed to stay calm through all of this Dean would never know. "It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a lot of protein and fat. And make sure you have water for him. I think Pet World opens at ten and they have electrolyte drinks for him too."

"Thanks Jess." He mumbled and heard Sam yell something about the books before Jess told Dean to call again if he needed and then hung up.

Dean stared at the phone for a while before flipping through his contacts to get to Bobby’s number.

"This had better be good." Bobby growled on the other end and Dean felt calmer just hearing the old man’s gruff voice.

"I can’t come into work." Dean rushed out and heard Bobby sitting up in bed.

"What’s wrong, boy?"

Fuck, Dean wanted to crawl up in Cas’ arms and just breathe in his scent to calm down. Wanted to be back under the bed with the Alpha.

"The shelter didn’t tell me Cas isn’t sterilized and he suddenly went into rut, I have to take care of him."

"Balls." Bobby spat. "Of course you stay home with him, son. Don’t worry about work. Do you need anything?"

Dean felt immediately comforted by Bobby’s fatherly tone. "I… I don’t think so. I have Sam and Jess on stand-by."

"Good." Bobby sighed and he sounded just as tired as Dean was worked up. "You call if you need anything, though."

"I will."

They hung up at that and Dean burst into action. He raided his fridge for food that would be easy for Cas to eat now and managed to find some frozen meat in the freezer that he put in the sink to thaw for later. He had several bottles of water in the fridge because Cas liked to drink that but Dean was glad to find a carton of milk too, remembering what Jess had said about fats.

He prepped the food while thinking about what he needed to do but was ripped from his thoughts when he heard his alarm clock going off in the bedroom. He cursed and whipped around to see that the time was seven o’clock, just like his alarm would suggest.

He grabbed a plate to put a stack of ham sandwiches on and then stuffed his arms full of bottled water before hurrying over to the bedroom. The alarm’s incessant beeping stopped abruptly with a crash and Dean suspected that Cas had thrown the clock against the wall. Well, it was an old clock anyway.

He knocked but didn’t wait for the Alpha to answer before he pushed the door open. "Alpha, I have food for you."

"I don’t want it!" Cas snarled loudly and Dean flinched at the harsh tone, clearly hearing the Alpha voice bleeding through.

Dean walked in anyway. "You need to eat." Dean scolded in a mild tone and set the food down on the bedside table. "And drink." He held up one of the bottles and Cas actually reached for it.

He was sweaty and looked disoriented. His cock was still hard and Dean could see the beginnings of the Alpha knot swelling at the base but he tried not stare as Cas gulped down almost half-a-liter water in one big swallow. Fuck, this was just the beginning of the rut. Dean swallowed hard.

"I’m gonna go to a store as soon as they open and buy you some things that’ll help you." He said quietly and Cas looked watchfully at him. Dean swallowed again and started backing out. "I’m sorry you only have me, Alpha." He said in a truly remorseful tone and watched warily how Cas slid across the bed, towards Dean. "But I’m gonna do the best I can, okay?"

The Alpha rumbled deep in his chest and he looked like he wanted to say something but his hips were moving again, almost as if on their own accord, and his eyes glazed over.

"Just hold out." Dean all but whispered and darted to the book pile, grabbing as many as he could carry and then all but sprinted out of there, closing the door tightly.

He suspected the Alpha would be too out of it to follow him even if him moving so quickly would tease the Alpha instinct to chase his prey. And he hated himself for wanting the Alpha to burst through the door and fuck him on the floor.

  
**  
**

*****

  
  


> _"An Omega will experience its heat at least once per quarter and will at the time be very susceptible to natural threats. Breeding will be the foremost thought of the Omega during this time and impregnation is the desired outcome. Controversy to that, Alphas experience their rut only about once a year, two at the most."_

  


"Huh." Fuck their fucking luck for making this happen right now, then. Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and checked the time on his phone for about the hundredth time. Still about an hour until Pet World opened. He went back to reading.

  


> _"Like an Omega in heat, an Alpha in rut is extremely vulnerable and will rely on the help of his pack to protect him. This has created some friction between the different fields of study as it raises the question of dominance. If an Alpha in unable to protect his pack on a normal day he is considered too weak to be deemed leader and the pack will leave him. However, during ruts it is expected of the Alpha to need protection and warmth and the pack is happy to tend to his every need. How can it be so? There are many who have tried answering this. Especially Dr. Gerald of"_

  


Dean stopped reading midsentence and thought about Cas’ pained face and couldn’t really believe anyone could just abandon that. Besides, rutting was natural, of course Weres wouldn’t just leave an Alpha because of it. He leaned back in the couch and strained to hear any sound from within the bedroom. If he held his breath he thought he could hear Cas groaning. He licked his lips and turned back to the book but stared at it with unseeing eyes for a while before skipping ahead a little and starting to read again.

  


> _"Unlike Omegas, Alphas are fertile all year round and will be able to impregnate other Weres even out of their ruts. However, in general Betas are less fertile than Omegas and Alphas and it is ultimately left up to those two subgenders to populate the pack. Omegas have proven to only be able to conceive children during their heats but this can be due to the strain of heats, which can sometimes leave the Omega weakened. An Omega in heat will always become pregnant if properly. bedded. Different studies suggest that Omegas spend the time between their heats tending both to pregnant pack members and other pups. It has also been proven that while the Alpha is ultimately the one that will take care of Omegas during heats, Beta males are also allowed to participate, especially in larger packs where more than one Omega might go into heat at the same time. The obvious exception is the Alpha’s mate, whether that Were be an Omega or Beta, the only one who gets to bed him or her is the Alpha himself."_

  


Dean pressed his lips together. So he had figured out that Cas had had a pack of his own and for some reason he didn’t anymore and Dean wouldn’t prod about it but reading this made him really wish he knew if Cas had had a mate as well. Had Cas had a pretty little Omega girl or boy who looked adoringly at him and who no one else was allowed to fucking touch? Dean felt a sour feeling spreading through his stomach at the thought. He looked quickly at the table of content at the beginning of the book and then flipped over to page 256.

  


> #### Mating

> _"Weres mate for life and in most packs all of the Weres will ultimately mate, either with each other or with someone from another pack. The Alpha in the pack of course has first pick at his mate but many studies have shown that it’s not so much a matter of choosing as it is a biological reaction between the Weres’ bodies on a purely hormonal level. Each Were, not unlike humans, have unique scents and, very much unlike humans, Weres have noses so very evolved that they without problem can pick those scents apart. Scents will mean different things, of course, and can convey emotions just as well as physiological reactions and shortcomings. For example, Weres would have no problem simply smelling their companion’s distress or illness. Of course this contributes to Weres simply "smelling" out their partner, picking him or her out based more on smell than anything else. To humans this may seem insufficient and perhaps even barbaric but what we have to remember is that Weres judge another Were’s, or even people’s, intentions based on scents. Of course, being a willing sexual partner has very little to do with actual mating."_

  


Dean stopped reading for a while, sighing deeply. This he kind of already knew but it was good reading it too, he thought. Ever since he was little he had been taught that Weres could smell fear and hostility and that that was why you should always extend your arm for the Were to scent. He kind of wanted to ask Cas what he smelled on Dean and if what he had found that night when they first met had been the reason he had decided to trust Dean. Because while Dean absolutely believed Weres had better noses than humans he wondered if they could pick their way through lies if the liar was skilled enough.

  


> _"A Were will, not unlike humans, have sex with just about any other Were if they get in the mood. But mating implies a deeper bond, similar to marriage but much more profound. A Were will mate only once in his or her life and the loss of their partner can be a devastating blow to a Were. An Omega whose mate dies can, in worst case scenarios, wither away and Alphas have been known to go mad from rage over the loss. Among the three subgenders, Betas are definitely the more level-headed ones even though losing a mate can sometimes throw them into deep depression as well. That being said, Weres are not incapable of living without a true mate and very few Domesticated Weres actually feel the need to mate at all. Studies suggest this have to do with the sterilization as Omegas and Alphas without heats and ruts, respectively, are less prone to show the extreme need that those conditions bring. Betas, even in the wild, have always exuded a lower need to mate and this supports the theory of the heat and ruts bringing out the primal instinct, as Betas never experience heats or ruts (see Chapter 2)."_

  


Dean’s stomach was in a knot as he read about true mates and the sadness that Weres would experience upon losing that mate. Had Cas experienced that? Dean didn’t think so because if this book was right then Cas should be more than just upset and angry about his pack being gone, shouldn’t he? That didn’t mean Dean should feel good about it, though, because fuck him for being happy that there had been no one to catch Cas’ fancy. Maybe there had been, though, and the other Were just hadn’t felt it? Was that possible? One-sided attraction?

  


> _"The mating ritual is a simple and intimate ritual involving only the two Weres. Previously it has been believed that most Weres mated in a sexual frenzy only during heats or ruts and that they had little control over it. More recent studies have however shown that while that may be true in some cases, Weres are more than capable of wooing each other as well. The mating ritual can truly be as romantic as a marriage proposal between humans. That being said it has also been confirmed that mating almost exclusively happens during sex as it involves the Weres biting each other as they achieve climax. It is commonly believed amongst most scientist that the Were’s saliva mixed with their mate’s blood creates a bond on a purely cellular level. This has been supported by many interviewed Weres as they speak of mated pairs’ scents changing to more intimately resemble their partner’s. The scar left, the commonly called "mating bite", is proof of the Weres’ unity and will usually be displayed somewhere where it is visible for anyone to see. The absolutely most common place is at the base of the neck, right where Were pheromones are believed to be the strongest. But the bite can in actuality be placed anywhere on the partner’s body and will still be as strong of a representative of the bond even if it isn’t immediately visible."_

  


Okay, so nothing about a one-sided attraction so maybe it didn’t happen? Or maybe the book just didn’t cover that area. It did seem to be more of a general book anyway. Dean checked the time again and saw that there was only forty minutes until the store opened and he still wanted to check on Cas before he left. He flipped quickly to the chapter about physiology, wanting to check one thing before he got ready to leave. He skimmed down a couple of paragraphs until his eyes glued to the word _knot_. Man, just reading about it made his cheeks heat, even if it was in a completely indifferent non-fictional book like this.

  


> _"The Alpha’s knot has always been an interesting field of study for humans. Why does it engorge like that? Does it improve the Alpha’s sexual prowess? How similar is it in fact to the knot of a regular dog? The answers are many and vary in accuracy but the simplest answer is that an Alpha’s knot is more similar to canines’ knots than one would think. But first, some other simple facts. The knot is used to tie off their partner, keeping them in place as the Alpha empties his seed into the partner’s womb. Like canines, Alphas empty more than one load during climax and will in fact climax several times until his knot has gone down enough for him to release his partner. The Alpha’s knot only swells to such extreme proportions during his rut and any intercourse out of the Alpha’s rut will be performed under more normal (read: normal as compared to humans) circumstances. The Alpha is still able to impregnate, however, but studies have shown that the Alpha’s sperm is definitely more potent during his rut and with his knot swollen, even if it is more than sufficient out of rut as well. It is commonly believed that the "popping of a knot", as it is sometimes playfully referred to as, is what makes the Alpha so vulnerable during his rut. That, combined with the high rush of hormones make the Alpha unpredictable and unstable, emotionally as well as physiologically."_

  


Okay, Dean had to stop reading there or he was sure his cheeks were going to catch fire. So Alphas did really just pop knots during ruts, that was something Dean had wondered for a while. Of course, most Alphas he had seen in porn videos were in rut because Dean liked those videos but he had seen some where the Alpha’s cock looked no different from a human’s, or perhaps just slightly swollen at the base. Cocks like that presented no problem for a guy or woman to take, Dean knew from watching the videos, but Alpha knots were something entirely different. And Cas had looked huge…

No, okay that was not why Dean had read that last passage. He was just curious was all. Because he had seen Alphas fucking both people and other Weres with normal-looking cocks and he had wondered. Like, he wouldn’t have to read the book to know that both female and male Omegas got slick even out of heat because that he had seen in some of the earlier pornos he had watched that had featured Were-on-Were sex. That was before he had been able to admit to himself that what he really wanted to see were humans getting down with Weres. Specifically, Alphas fucking human men.

Anyhow, the point was that for all of his porn watching he hadn’t been able to figure out if knotting only happened during an Alpha’s rut or not — if perhaps some of those Alphas had been defected in some way or if it was normal — and now he knew. Didn’t need to read more about it, though.

He checked the time again and decided to get going. Fuck, he had a long day ahead of him and he still thought he should read more about the whole rut thing. So far he had just skimmed through the general Were-books but he thought that as soon as he had time he should really read the Alpha book. He dog-eared the book for now, because Sammy hated that, and put it aside as he rose and stretched. Time to take the bull by the horns, literally.

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Such a good little Alpha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warning:** This could be a little mild dub-con(-ish) because I suppose you can interpret Cas’ state of mind as you like.

  
  


The goddamn Pet World didn’t open their doors until two minutes past ten, no matter how much Dean banged on the doors. Bastards.

The brown-haired employee gave Dean a tired look when he came to unlock and Dean sneered at him in return as he breezed past him but as he stood in front of the shelves marked _Weres_ he started to regret his rude behavior. Sure, he was in a frantic hurry with Cas left all alone like that but he would definitely need help here.

Fuck, just thinking of the glazed out, barely conscious look the Alpha had given him when he explained where he was going made Dean really ready to swallow all his stubbornness and pride.

He turned around to try and find that dude again when another Pet World employee bounced up to him, startling him. Shit he was jittery.

"Can I help you?" she asked with an extremely sunny smile. Dean already liked her better than the other guy and her red hair reminded him of Anna so that felt calming.

"Actually, yes," he squinted at her name tag. "Charlie, I need lots of help."

She raised her eyebrows as if she hadn’t expected him to admit that. Well fuck it, Cas needed him. Thankfully she didn’t say anything about that, she just seemed to get into her serious mode and clapped her hands together.

"Okay then, what do you need mister?"

"Uh, it’s Dean." Dean said stupidly as if her calling him mister made him feel old and that was important. "And it’s actually my Alpha that needs help. I got him at a shelter and I thought he was sterilized because they didn’t say anything. And now he went into rut." Yeah, that lie was easier to tell every time he told it. It was actually scary how easily it rolled off his tongue nowadays.

"Well, shit." Charlie said with such genuine emphasis that Dean just knew he had made the right choice asking her for help. "Well you’re in a little luck because I _love_ Weres and I know a lot about ruts and heats and…" she put her hands on her hips and stared at the shelves beside them, gnawing her lower lip as she thought. Dean was about two seconds away from starting to dance on the spot like someone who needed to pee, he was so fucking anxious about Cas being alone right now. He could only hope that the Alpha had registered his words and hadn’t thought Dean was abandoning him.

"And what?" he prompted after basically no time at all that felt like an eternity. Her eyes snapped up to his and she looked at him with a soft look, putting a hand on his arm to calm him down. Only then did Dean realize he really had been dancing from foot to foot.

"I was just making a list in my head, come with me." She led him down the aisle to a more secluded section that featured necessities for ruts and heats but also "toys" for adult Weres. It was actually weird, Dean thought, because these was basically sex toys but unlike human sex toys they were on clear display in a fucking Pet World. Dean hated humanity for putting the pet label on Weres and belittling their natural reactions.

"How far gone is he?" she asked while she was busing reading the labels on what looked like protein bars. "And how old is he?"

"Shit, I dunno." Dean exclaimed exasperatedly but instead of berating him, Charlie just looked sympathetically at him. "I think, I mean if he was human I think he’d be my age maybe? Perhaps a few years older. Maybe thirty?"

She nodded and his useless information seemed to help her make up her mind. "And the rut?"

"Just a few hours. I was woken up roughly around six and it was already going then but I don’t think for very long. Maybe."

"Dean." She smiled warmly at him when he met her eyes. "You don’t have to worry. Ruts can be brutal but the mortality isn’t as high as you’d think. I mean, we have science to support that but also, if it was how the hell would Ferals survive all on their own?"

Dean hadn’t thought about it like that. Plus, Cas _was_ a Feral so he definitely knew how to deal with this. Maybe Dean should have just stayed home and made sure the Alpha ate and drank? Maybe nothing else was needed? On the other hand, if Cas had been with his pack he would have had Omegas and Betas standing in line to swallow his knot with their greedy little holes and Dean just couldn’t emulate that. Well, he _could_ but that wasn’t the point here.

"Okay." He breathed and managed a wobbly smile down at her. "Okay, I’m calming down."

She smiled a sparkling smile at him and pointed to the protein bars. "Good, now you pick out the ones you think your Alpha will like and I’m gonna get a basket for you."

It looked like regular protein bars that Dean wouldn’t even eat if someone paid him to do it but he supposed it would be easy for Cas to eat them now so he took his sweet time deciding. Chocolate was obviously going in the basket, as well as honey roasted peanuts. But orange? Dean scrunched up his face and had just decided no when Charlie returned with a shopping basket. She held it out for him but he only looked helplessly at her.

"How many do I take?"

How often should Cas eat one of these? Should he only eat these? Should Dean hand-feed him?

Charlie smiled as if this wasn’t the first time she had dealt with an anxious Were owner and it made Dean calm down again. Man, his emotions were really in a fucking rollercoaster right now.

"Ruts normally lasts for about four days and day two and three are usually the worst. You can take at least two cartons and your Alpha can eat these out of rut as well, they contain lots of nutrients for him. He shouldn’t eat only these, though, you need to make him at least one proper meal, something with lots of meat."

"‘Kay." He mumbled and put one carton of each flavor he had decided on in the basket, taking the basket from her when she walked over to the toy shelf.

"It’s also important that he drinks a lot."

"He likes bottled water."

"That’s great." Charlie said with a new smile. "You probably want to buy some electrolyte drinks for him too because those are great during ruts. He’s sweating more than usual and producing a lot of…" she gestured down at her own crotch and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. " _Other_ fluids. He needs minerals that regular water won’t be able give him."

"Gotcha." Dean mumbled and fought the blush on his cheeks because what the hell? He wasn’t a coy guy, he was actually pretty suave when it came to sex stuff but for some reason just thinking of Cas’ other fluids made him blush like a goddamn virgin. Charlie didn’t notice, though, or simply didn’t care. She just bent down to pick up a box with a picture of something that looked like a tube on it.

"I’m assuming your Alpha’s unmated and that you don’t have another Were to help him through this?" she asked while she opened the box, her voice void of any judgement Dean almost had expected. She looked up when he didn’t answer immediately, so caught up in being grateful to her.

"Yeah, no. It’s just me and him." Dean coughed awkwardly when he heard how that sounded but again, Charlie made no comment. This girl was like a fucking saint.

Instead she just pulled the tube-like thing from the box and Dean wanted to cringe away when he realized it looked _a lot_ like a fleshlight.

"This is a really great way to help your Alpha." She stated excitedly and Dean wanted to shush her but realized the store was basically empty anyway. "He will put his genitals in here," she said unnecessarily and emphasized by poking her finger inside the tube. "It will pleasure him and accommodate for his knot and here, on the other side," she turned it around and pulled a little at a plastic film. "This plastic here is expandable so that when he," she made a rolling motion with her hand. "Spends himself, this plastic will be pushed out to form a pouch and it’ll catch all the rest. I dunno how much you know about Alphas but they come a buttload when they’re in rut." She blinked when he made a face at her choice of words and then burst out laughing.

Yeah, Dean was fucking blushing now. "I know a little." He muttered and peered at the tube as Charlie calmed her laughing down. "But then what? When the pouch gets full or whatever?"

She pointed to a little clasp on the side of the tube. "You buy refills. This comes with about ten uses so I’m guessing you’ll have to buy more. And you’ll either have to hope your Alpha’s smart enough to understand if you show him how to cut off the pouch and tie off a new one between waves or you’ll have to do it for him, either way you should pull out a new pouch after his knot has gone down and before it swells again, if you know what I mean?" Dean nodded and tried not to think about having to deal with fucking plastic bags full of Cas’ sperm. "Now," Charlie continued and put the tube back in the box before putting it and a few refills down in Dean’s basket. Then she turned and picked another item off another shelf. "You’re probably gonna want him to use this too."

Dean peered at the box. "A mouthguard?"

She nodded. "He’s gonna want to bite, it’s what they do when they get overly excited, like in ruts. Also, Alphas generally like to bite during sex." She put the mouthguard in the basket too. "It can be dangerous because if you’re not careful he could end up biting off his own tongue."

"Shit, really?" Dean’s eyes were round with this new fear. He had seen mouthguards in a lot of pornos, of course, but he had always assumed that was because the actors didn’t want the Alpha’s to put a mating bite on them or mutilate them or something. Accidental self-harm had never really crossed his mind.

"Really." Charlie nodded and Dean nodded too, looking down at all the stuff in his basket.

"Okay, so food, drink, mouthguard, and an Alpha-specific fleshlight. Is there anything else I need?"

She grinned at him and he wanted to grin back because he was loving how easy she made this for him but he was getting really anxious about going back.

"Not really." She said and considered the shelves briefly. "But if you want to treat your Alpha you should get him this too." She bent over and grabbed a much smaller box. The picture featured what looked like a rubber band and she snapped the lid open on that too. "I feel like I have to emphasize that you don’t _have to_ buy the toys but I think you look like a cool guy, even if you’re really nervous." She looked at him and Dean felt genuinely seen in that moment. "I think you feel like a guy who would just want his Alpha to be as comfortable as possible."

Dean swallowed slowly. "Yeah." He said in a much smaller voice than he had intended to. "Show me this thing too."

She nodded and held up the band for him. It was a ring made out of some stretchy material with a little button on the side. When she pressed the button it started buzzing. Dean frowned at it.

"It’s a rubber cockring." She all but squealed and Dean floundered for too fucking long. Charlie turned off the buzzing and went on to explaining before he had recovered. "Look, it’s designed so that it can fit tightly over even the smallest of penises and when the knot swells, the band expands as well. Look, hold out your fist."

He did as told and very barely managed to make his hand stop shaking. She stretched out the band and wrestled it on his fist. Impressively enough it didn’t feel too restricting and Dean knew that even if Cas’ knot had looked huge it wasn’t as big as Dean’s fist.

"That’s… Actually impressive."

"I know, right?" she beamed at him and pressed the small button to start up the buzzing again, making Dean jump.

The buzzing was very slight but Dean could clearly imagine how good it would feel against a hard dick. Could, in fact, imagine it a little too clearly…

"Great." He mumbled and she turned it off before prying the band off. Dean noted curiously that it slowly shrunk to its original size again, just like a rubber band. "I’ll take that too."

She nodded and put it in the basket together with the rest. "Remember, as long as it’s not used you can always return it within ten days. You don’t have to make your Alpha use anything he doesn’t like. And hey, you’re a dude too, right?" she winked and Dean turned beet red but before he could call her on the obviously very inappropriate comment that somehow didn’t feel too inappropriate coming from her, she started to walk to the front of the store. "Did you want the drinks too?" she asked over her shoulder and the casual question made him pull out of his increasingly lewd thoughts.

"Yeah, I think I should, right?"

"It’s up to you because you’re the owner." She smiled kindly and started registering his purchase at the front disk. "But I’d highly recommend it. I’m putting you in for one pack, they’re by the door and you can take whatever flavor you want."

He smiled at her as she blipped in the protein bars. "I really appreciate this, Charlie." He said sincerely and she looked up. "I mean it. Cas, my Alpha, he means the world to me. I feel really shitty for not knowing he was going into rut, I need to help him."

She smiled a much smaller but much sincerer smile at that. "You’re one of the good guys, I can tell that Dean. You just take all of this and I’m sure your Alpha’s gonna make it through without problems. And here," she scribbled down a phone number on the receipt. "If you need to ask anything else, this is my number. And I kinda wanna know how it goes."

Dean nodded. "Absolutely." He grinned and was extremely pleased when she said her good-bye by saluting him with the Vulcan sign.

Yeah, Dean already felt better about this.

  
  


*****

  
  


The apartment looked just like it had when Dean left it barely forty minutes ago because why wouldn’t it? Dean didn’t know why he expected to come home to some shitstorm but he kind of did. His worries about Cas were through the roof and he wasted no time just shucking off his jacket and walking straight over to the bedroom.

There were no sounds coming from the other side but that didn’t calm Dean down the slightest. He just knocked quickly and then slid inside the room. And okay, _here_ was the chaos.

The bed was a mess. The pillow Cas usually slept on was thrown on the floor and Dean’s pillow was in the middle of the bed, covered in what looked like sweat and spunk. The sheets were pulled up around the edges to bundle in the middle and both his and Cas’ covers were on the floor.

Cas was sitting on the floor by the foot of the bed, partly on the covers, legs drawn up so he could rest his elbows on his knees while he covered his face with his hands. He was breathing heavily and every other breath ended in a little growl. He was sweaty and visibly shaking. The water bottle Dean had left for him just before he drove to the store was still on the bedside table, unopened.

"Alpha." Dean said softly and _really_ tried not to feel so distressed at seeing Cas like this. He knew logically that human scents weren’t as prominent as Weres’ but they were still potent enough and he didn’t want Cas to know he was hurting from seeing this.

He went over to the Were with everything he had bought at Pet World, the stuff heavy and bulky in his arms but it wasn’t like he cared about that. He put it down by the bed and reached in to pry one of the electrolyte bottles free from the plastic.

"You need to drink, Alpha." He scolded mildly and Cas finally turned to look at him. His eyes were wild and his pupils dilated. Dean didn’t have to look down to know that Cas’ knot was swollen but he looked anyway because Dean was a fucking pervert that shouldn’t be allowed so close to Cas right now. The peek only lasted a second and then he was back to meeting Cas’ eyes but he could see that the Alpha had seen him look. "What’re you doing on the floor?" he managed as he unscrewed the cap, proud that his voice didn’t betray him but still unsure about his own smell. A smell that most probably was a mixture of distress, self-loathing, and arousal.

"I ruined the bed." Cas croaked in a voice that told Dean the Alpha clearly hadn’t been drinking.

"Don’t worry about that, Alpha." Dean mumbled and pressed the bottle in Cas’ shaking hand. "I’ll just wash the sheets later and we can buy new ones if you want to, it doesn’t matter." He watched how Cas basically just poured the drink down his throat. Fuck he was beautiful like this; wild and untamed. "The only thing that matters it’s you, Alpha."

Dean turned to the bag with the boxes of sex toys and pulled them out. Cas made little stuttering sounds as he breathed now but Dean thought he sounded better after he had gotten some liquid in him. Should probably make him drink more, though.

"I’ve bought you special food and drinks." He said and showed Cas the bottles and bars. "I want you to eat and drink these aside from the other food and water I’m gonna give you and I’ll stay home from now on and check on you." He looked Cas directly in the eyes and tried not to notice how Cas licked his lips. "Please eat, Alpha. For me?"

Cas growled in acknowledgement and leaned closer to Dean. Fuck, the Alpha smelled good. Dean had kind of expected him to smell of the sweat and semen that was all over him but he smelled just like himself, spicy and musky. Only _more_. It was making Dean dizzy.

"I-I also got you this." He hastened to add and pried the box to the tube open. "You put your cock in it and it feels really good, look, it even has this little plastic pouch that…" he cleared his throat when he realized that Cas wouldn’t stop leaning closer. Yeah, their eyes were totally meeting for too long here. Dean scooted back a little and Cas spread his legs but it was impossible to say if it meant the invitation that Dean wanted or if he simply needed to relieve pressure on his most probably hurting cock.

It was Dean that licked his lips now and Cas was studying Dean’s face too fucking closely. "Do you want me to show you?" Dean asked and heard his own voice as if he was speaking under water. Garbled, dulled, slurred. But he must have spoken clearly enough because Cas didn’t ask him to repeat himself.

The Alpha’s eyes flicked down to the tube in Dean’s hands and then back up to Dean’s wide eyes. Dean didn’t look because he didn’t dare pull away from Cas’ gaze, but he saw in the corner of his eye how Cas’ cock twitched and spit out a _fat_ drop of precome. He swallowed dryly.

"I’ll get some lube." He croaked and got up on wobbly legs. He tried convincing himself that he was just going to show Cas the right movement and then he would leave. But the moment he turned back to the Alpha he knew that wasn’t fucking true.

Cas was sitting with his legs completely spread now, his very able hands massaging his inner thighs and his head resting back on the bed as he thrust abortively up into the air. He was huffing and growling and Dean was walking over to him without a single thought in his mind except that he _needed_ to help his Alpha.

He dropped to his knees much closer to Cas this time and the Alpha peered over at him but didn’t stop his half-growl, half-purr. In fact, the sound only increased and Dean’s head was swimming as he squirted too much lube down the tube that would substitute for the slick hole Cas really needed.

"I bought you lotsa stuff, Alpha." Dean mumbled in a shaky voice. "I’ll show you, we’ll make this work. We don’t need anyone else." He pulled a little at the plastic to see that it was loose enough to catch the spunk and not just make it bounce back. Should have probably read the instructions. "I’m gonna clean up in here, make you comfortable. Gonna get a washcloth for you and-and…" he trailed off when he saw that Cas’ hands were in fists on his thighs now. He was looking at Dean with these dark pools for eyes and shit, he looked so dangerously delicious like that. Like raw power just very barely held back and fucking hell, Dean just wanted him to lose his shit.

But Cas was holding back and Dean understood that. The Alpha may be sex-crazed at the moment but he was sitting beside Dean, not a pretty Omega, so of course he was keeping himself in check. Wouldn’t wanna waste all that precious Alpha semen on a human, after all. Dean gritted his teeth and moved over very slowly.

"I’m just gonna show you how and then get out, okay?" he said and Cas agreed with a grunt that was much deeper than his usual grunts. "Just… Just sit still and let me…" he put the tube to Cas’ cock and pushed it down slowly, wanting to ease the Alpha into the feeling of something cold and plastic wrapping around his no doubt heated cock.

But the moment the very tip slid inside Cas let out a completely wrecked sound and thrust up so violently Dean almost lost grip of the tube. Dean gasped, more out of surprise than anything else, and Cas rumbled out a moan so loud Dean almost thought the neighbors would hear.

Fuck, the Alpha sounded good like this. Dean sat so close he felt every thrust of Cas’ hips against his leg, his mouth was agape in shocked arousal at seeing the pure rapture on the Alpha’s face and his grip on the tube was bordering on painful where he was holding it just close enough for Cas to fuck up into it.

This was not what was supposed to happen but Dean’s mind had short-circuited and he could do nothing but stare and feel his own dick respond to Cas’ every movement, sound, smell. Holy fucking shit, the Alpha was _gorgeous_. Dean had never been so fucking aroused in his whole life and he wasn’t even touching the Were, not really.

Cas was snapping his jaws now, his canines grown to sharp fangs and Dean dizzily remembered the mouthguard but didn’t have much time suggesting it because as soon as he started withdrawing Cas made a warning growl and grabbed Dean’s arm, holding him in place as he fucked the tube.

"Not gonna leave." Dean breathed and realized how aroused he sounded. Cas was staring at him now, his growl a pleasant rumble. "Gonna stay and help you, Alpha. Such a good little Alpha."

A low groan clawed its way up Cas’ throat and the Alpha curled close to Dean just as Dean felt the tube catch on Cas’ swelling knot.

"Fuck yeah, Cas." Dean pressed out in a strangled voice. He changed the grip on the tube and started pumping it in time with Cas’ thrusts.

The Alpha all but wailed and bucked harder, the knot locking inside the tube. It made Cas’ thrusts shorter and sharper and Dean added a little twist to the tube that seemed to drive the Alpha insane. Motherfucking shit, Dean felt like he was gonna come too. He needed to get out of here before he soiled his jeans but he needed to do this for Cas first. Somehow the Alpha’s needs were the most important and Dean didn’t even question this.

"So good, Alpha." Dean mumbled and reached out to card his hand through Cas’ sweaty hair. Cas was basically chewing the air now, drool running down his chin and Dean wanted to lick it up, as disgusting as that may sound. "Such a good Alpha." Cas growled in response and Dean could almost feel Cas’ cock pulsing through the material of the tube. "So big and strong, such a protective Alpha. My Alpha."

Dean only realized what he had said when Cas’ hand started clawing at Dean’s shirt, fisting it tightly. The icy dread that settled in his stomach at his own words halted some of his arousal and it was lucky too because Cas’ climax hit shortly after and fuck if the Alpha didn’t come like a goddamn freight train.

He pressed his head against Dean’s chest and howled out his orgasm, the plastic pouch expanding just as Charlie had said. It caught all of the spunk but Dean could still feel the warmth of it against his stomach with how close they were sitting when Cas came.

And shit, it went on for forever. Dean had seen this in pornos but to experience it was a totally different matter. Cas was shaking and sweating even more than before and Dean couldn’t help grooming the Alpha best he knew, mumbling praise that he didn’t even remember later as Cas emptied himself with aborted little thrusts.

It was only much later, when Dean had cleaned up Cas with gentle touches and made him eat and drink, when Dean had explained how the tube and the other things worked, when he had eaten himself and taken a shower, and when he was settled in the guest bedroom for the night, it was only _then_ that Dean indulged himself. But somehow that jerk off felt horribly insufficient and the dreams that came when he finally managed to fall asleep were all filled of imaginations of Cas’ abandoned whines and images of the Alpha choking to death on his own tongue.

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning:** this chapter contains elements of non-con. This is mainly because Cas isn’t in full control of his actions and because Dean is held down. Rest assured, though, that neither character is strictly opposed to the general idea of what happens…  
>  Even so, if you are a person who is easily triggered I would advice you to stop reading after Dean enters the bedroom ( _"With a lump in his throat, Dean slowly pushed the door open."_ ). Later chapters will give you the gist of what happens anyway :)

  
  


On the evening of day three of Cas’ rut Dean was exhausted. The hours just blurred together in a long line of _clean Cas, feed Cas, don’t help Cas out anymore_ and oh boy, that last one was a difficult one. Because he wanted so badly to help the Alpha out but he seriously couldn’t do it. Couldn’t do it without crossing too many lines. So far he thought he had stayed within the extremely-concerned-and-helpful-friend/owner line but only very barely. And it didn’t fucking help that Cas seemed to want Dean’s "help" as well.

Because it seriously seemed like he did. Dean was even getting anxious about going into the bedroom. Not because he thought Cas would attack him but because he thought he wouldn’t be able to resist the looks the Alpha was giving him. The come-hither looks. Because clearly he was imagining that, right? Right?! Dean didn’t know what was what anymore.

And basically everyone Dean knew calling every five minutes to hear how it was going didn’t help much either. At first Dean was grateful but it soon got really old and kind of obnoxious so by the morning on the third day he had turned his phone off, just to get some fucking rest between Cas’ rut waves. Cas had confined himself to the bedroom, sure, but his extremely arousing sounds could be heard throughout the apartment and Dean didn’t know how much more of that he could take. He feel really bad about jerking off listening to Cas’ desperate cries but his constant semi was getting more and more difficult to ignore. Fuck, even peeing was a goddamn chore all of a sudden.

So yeah, Dean had turned off his phone and had been lying on the couch for a full ten minutes, listening to the blessed silence but just when he thought he would finally get some shut eye the goddamn doorbell of course rang loud and clear.

Dean’s eyes snapped open. "Fuck." He groaned and lurched to his feet, wondering if he had in fact managed to dial for a pizza in his sleep.

He jogged over to the door to answer it before the visitor could ring again and probably wake Cas, if he even was asleep. What he didn’t expect was to find a grumpy looking Ash on the other side of the door.

"Ash?" he asked confusedly and Ash took one look at him and frowned.

"You look like shit."

Dean sighed. "Thank you, didn’t you get the memo?"

"That you look like shit?" Ash waved him off when Dean was about to explain about Cas, surprised Ash hadn’t heard it from Ellen, who of course had heard it from Bobby. Yup, the grapevine was long and strong in Dean’s family… "Never mind, I just came to ask if I forgot Balthazar’s scarf here when we visited? I’m returning him tomorrow and I can’t find it."

Dean heard a noise behind him but barely registered it. He frowned at Ash’s question. "Why didn’t you call?"

"I did." Ash snorted and Dean remembered even before his friend continued. "I think your phone’s turned off."

Dean sighed and carded a hand through his hair. "Shit, yeah it is. But I don’t even think he had a scarf on, dude."

"Can you just check?"

Dean rubbed a hand down his face. "Look, now’s not a good time. Cas’ in—"

Dean was interrupted by Balthazar suddenly popping into view and where the fuck had he been hiding?

"Alpha?" Balthazar called and Dean’s face paled considerably, his blood freezing in his veins.

"You brought him?"

Ash snorted again even as Balthazar tried pushing his way past the humans. "He’s clingy as fuck, I can’t even go to the bathroom—what the hell is wrong with you?!" He barked the last part at Balthazar but the Omega ignored him as he forced open the door Dean had been on his way to close.

The Were easily darted out of their grasp and sped down the hall. "Alpha!"

"Fuck!" Dean swore and turned to follow, Ash hot on his heels.

"What the hell’s going on?"

"Cas’ in rut."

" _What?!_ "

"I thought everyone knew." Dean muttered defensively but everything else got stuck in his throat when he and Ash came upon the Weres.

Cas was standing just outside the bedroom, his hair wild, his eyes wilder, sweaty and panting and with a knot already swelling. Balthazar was on his knees in front of Cas, pawing at his thighs as he mewled enticingly for the Alpha. Cas had one hand in Balthazar’s hair, holding him in place.

"Pretty Omega." Cas growled in a voice Dean barely recognized and Balthazar’s hips bucked up a little, a small wet spot already visible on his pants where slick was leaking out of his willing hole.

Dean felt like someone had punched him in the stomach.

Cas looked almost regal like this, his skin glistening and with a handsome Omega kneeling before him and Dean should be happy. He wasn’t Cas’ owner but he wanted to consider himself the Alpha’s friend. And a friend would be happy for another friend if they found someone compatible.

But Dean couldn’t. Couldn’t be happy when all he wanted was to push Balthazar aside and take his place; to claw the Omega’s eyes out if he objected.

Fortunately Dean was brought out of his jealous haze when Ash made a strangled sound. "He’s not gonna fuck him, is he?" Ash asked with urgency. "I can’t fucking return Balthazar all trashed by your Alpha."

They had had this conversation last time too and then the obvious answer had been no but now… Dean wasn’t so sure. Cas definitely looked like he wanted the Omega.

"Alpha." Balthazar whined high-pitched and Dean could see Cas’ cock leaking from the sound. More slick pressed out of the Omega and Cas was clearly liking it. It probably smelled fucking delicious to his Were-senses.

"Balth’s fucking sterilized, this shouldn’t be happening, right?" Ash asked in a hushed tone and Dean wondered for a wild moment why none of them were stepping up to stop this but the obvious answer was that they couldn’t. Weres _were_ stronger than humans and especially an Alpha would be able to take what he wanted. Still, Balthazar had on his shock collar, hadn’t he?

"Sterilization has nothing to do with libido." Dean mumbled and the words hurt his clenching throat. Fuck.

Then suddenly Balthazar whined again and rubbed his hands closer to Cas’ cock. The Alpha responded by baring his teeth in a warning growl and grabbing the back of the Omega’s head, bending him back to expose his throat.

And Dean watched as if in icy slow motion how Balthazar’s hips snapped up and he came forcefully, the dark stain of his release spreading over the front of his khakis. Cas snarled in triumph and Ash gasped in shock.

"Did he just fucking come?"

But Dean didn’t hear his friend, all his senses were zeroed in on Cas, Alpha Cas, _his_ Alpha, who was currently about to drag an Omega, someone _other_ than Dean, into _their_ bedroom to fuck him. Without Dean.

And he just couldn’t anymore.

Leaving Ash standing there, gawking like a moron, Dean stepped up to the Weres. "Alpha." He called in a strong but pleading voice. "Don’t do this."

Cas’ attention snapped to Dean and Dean gulped at the sight of Cas’ dangerously dark eyes but he didn’t back down. In fact, he took another step closer. Balthazar was whining again, trying to win back the Alpha’s attention but Cas just tightened his grip in the Omega’s hair, making him gasp pitifully.

"Please, Alpha." Dean mumbled but he knew Cas could hear him. "Don’t take him, don’t make him yours. Don’t…" suddenly Dean became hyper aware of Ash standing just behind him and the words _don’t take him instead of me_ stuck in his throat but by the look of it Cas was getting at least some of it.

He growled at Dean but it wasn’t threatening, just frustrated somehow, and then he pushed Balthazar away.

"Alpha!" Balthazar wailed but Cas just stomped back into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

"Fucking hell, man." Ash said in an astonished tone. "You fucking talked an Alpha in rut out of breeding a willing Omega. What’re you, like the Were-whisperer, or something?"

Dean was bone-tired was what he was.

"Please just take Balthazar and go. I’ll… I’ll look for his scarf. Just tell Bela she’s getting it back later."

"It’s okay, Dean." Ash said and then stepped up to Balthazar who was busy scratching on the bedroom door. "Come on, Balth." The Omega turned to hiss at Ash but Ash pulled out the remote Dean just knew controlled the collar around Balthazar’s neck. Apparently the Omega knew this as well because his eyes rounded out and he stopped hissing. "I hate to use this, I’ve never used this, but if you don’t come with me right now I’m gonna, capish?"

Balthazar’s mouth opened and closed for a moment but then he turned back to the door, yowling lowly and lonely once more before he picked himself up and followed Ash outside. Dean just nodded at his friend when Ash made the _call me_ sign and then he finally closed and locked the door behind them. Fucking Christ on a cracker.

Not two minutes later Dean heard a crash coming from inside the bedroom and as he hurried over he heard several more. Cas was growling too and it was obvious that he was throwing a fit. He was in rut, he needed a partner and he had had one but he had been denied it. He was probably hurting. All because Dean was a selfish ass.

With a lump in his throat, Dean slowly pushed the door open. Cas was standing in the middle of the room with his back turned and clearly muttering to himself. The noises were unintelligent to Dean but the Alpha’s frustration was clear enough.

"Alpha?" he asked as he tentatively stepped closer. He didn't know what he was expecting but Cas turning around in a flurry and getting all up in Dean’s face wasn’t one of them. His breathing hitched in shock but he managed to not flinch back.

"Dean." Cas pressed out, rolling the vowels in the most sinful rumble Dean had ever heard. He shivered under the intensity of the Alpha’s stare.

"I’m sorry, Alpha." Dean said in a truly sad tone, clenching his hands into fists as Cas started circling him. "I know you wanted Balthazar and I know, I mean I _think_ , you stopped only because I asked you to and I…" he gulped audibly when he felt the Alpha snort out a hot puff of air.

The air in the room was stifling and not only because it was saturated with Cas’ smells and the heat the Alpha radiated. Dean’s body was tearing itself apart, feeling cold from apprehension and warm from arousal. As Cas kept circling him and snorting in Dean’s scent Dean couldn’t honestly say he was sure what the Alpha was thinking. He didn’t think Cas had it in him to attack him but the atmosphere was so different from anything Dean had experienced with the Were before.

It was closer to the raw power Dean sometimes saw burning within the Alpha but it was also much more intimate, more akin to what Dean had just witnessed between Cas and Balthazar. Shit, was Cas seizing him up? No, Dean had just watched too much porn.

"I’m sorry." Dean said again and wasn’t the least surprised when his voice came out all low and strained. Cas was at his back, almost panting against Dean’s neck, growling as if trying to restrain himself. "I got jealous and—" he cut himself off with a gasp when he suddenly felt Cas’ mouth on his neck. The Alpha wasn’t pressing in, just very barely grazing his fangs against Dean’s suddenly clammy skin.

Cas growled out a sound that may have been Dean’s name but Dean couldn’t distinguish it over the rushing in his ears. The Alpha’s breath was so hot and he was standing close enough that Dean could feel his fat cock rubbing up against Dean’s clothed back. Cas’ whole body was vibrating and Dean’s breath was hitching where Cas’ was panting warmly. Goosebumps formed on Dean’s skin, spreading all the way down his back and legs.

"Fuck." He breathed out unsteadily and Cas barked at him, not loudly but commandingly enough. Dean’s knees felt weak, folding beneath him. "I’m sorry." He repeated. "I couldn’t take you breeding someone else. I’m sorry I’m weak, I’m selfish, I-I…"

He made a pathetically pitiful sound when Cas roughly grabbed his neck, pressing him down face first onto the covers on the floor and when had he even kneeled down? Dean’s head was swimming with hormones, emotions, and a pleasant blackness. He felt safe and confused at the same time, his stomach was churning but it wasn’t unpleasant, just a reminder that this was supposed to be wrong.

But it didn’t feel wrong. Not even when Cas growled dangerously and pressed on top of Dean, trapping Dean against the floor and bucking against him, not even then did it feel wrong. It felt so fucking right Dean could do nothing but gasp and try not to come from this alone.

Cas was still in rut, probably out of his mind from smelling that sweet Omega, out of control of his actions and Dean should push him away because the Alpha would never want Dean on a normal day, Dean was sure. But Dean couldn’t make himself do it. Mainly because it felt so fucking good when Cas grabbed Dean’s hip in one hand, the other still clamped down on Dean’s neck, and started humping him for real. But he also let it happen because he knew Cas needed it, or was at least desperate enough to need more than what his own touches could give.

Maybe he would have been able to make it through his rut alone if Balthazar hadn’t come here and tempted him but now Dean thought Cas would fucking blow up if he didn’t have a warm body beneath him and Dean was the only one left. So logically Dean would have to suffice, right?

But while that was well and good it didn’t fucking justify Dean’s rock-hard boner, though. He gritted his teeth and rolled with Cas’ hips, fucking down against the covers even as Cas pressed his swelling knot against Dean’s jean-clad ass. The red tag on Cas’ collar jingled with every thrust, it’s clean sound almost lewd in the heat of the moment. It was every wet dream Dean had ever had but he needed to think about his Alpha.

Cas growled when Dean flailed to reach the tube that lay a few feet from them and Dean nearly lost it when the Alpha pressed his mouth and nose against Dean’s hair and huffed out a snort, clearly breathing in Dean’s scent.

"I’m sorry I’m not an Omega." Dean gritted out as his hand closed around the tube and he bent his arm back to try and pry it between them. "But I promised to take care of you, Alpha, and I will."

Cas snarled at Dean’s hand and the tube but goddamn howled in pleasure when he managed to fuck right into it. Yeah, that was bound to feel good, right? Dean wriggled to get out of Cas’ grasp, intent on leaving the Alpha to it and finish off his own shameful erection on his own but Cas apparently had another idea.

As soon as Dean let go of the tube, Cas grabbed it and wedged it between Dean’s thighs, his next thrust into it bumping it up against Dean’s ass and perineum. Dean let out a strangled moan and spread his legs wider without thinking about it, searing hot pleasure rippling through him as the Alpha continued to fuck the tube with long, powerful thrusts.

"Shit." Dean groaned and clawed at the covers, trying to get a grip on them, of himself, on anything.

Cas was snarling and groaning above Dean, one hand braced on the floor and the other in Dean’s hair, holding him securely in place as he all but fucked the man beneath him. Dean could barely breathe. He moaned desperately and it took no time at all before he was once again rolling with the Alpha’s pace, pressing his aching dick down on the hard floor and his ass up against Cas’ body.

His clothes chafed and he was sweating but at the moment Dean registered nothing but pleasure. It zinged up and down his spine in almost painful waves because finally, _finally_ , did he have his Alpha.

"Yes." He moaned, arching his back to try and present his ass better. "Yes, fucking breed me." His voice was muffled where his face was smashed against the floor and Cas was panting loudly but Dean’s face heated at his own words anyway.

He didn’t have time to take it back, though, because the Alpha picked up the pace, driving himself brutally against Dean’s body. The tube was hard and not very comfortable between Dean’s legs but he was too far gone in his arousal to feel the uncomfortableness that would make him grimace later. All he could feel now was his orgasm climbing higher and higher with every buck Cas made down against him.

Then Cas started snapping his jaws and making bitten of, strangled sounds and Dean knew he was close. Shit, Dean wanted that bite but knew he had no fucking right to take it. Instead he ripped at the covers in blind search for the mouthguard. The Alpha probably thought he was trying to get away because he growled warningly and tightened his grip.

Dean’s breath was knocked out of him when Cas braced his underarm against Dean’s back and leaned his weight on it. He huffed but triumphed silently when he found the mouthguard not too far away.

"Not going anywhere." He pressed out, feeling his throat constricting around the words. He lifted the mouthguard over his shoulder and fucking hell, Cas caught on immediately. He growled and bit down on the piece of plastic, making an extremely pleased sound as if having something between his teeth at this moment felt really good.

Just seconds after, his thrusts became shorter but even sharper and Dean knew it was because his knot had caught inside the toy. Realization crashed down on Dean like a cold shower then; the Alpha was going to come. He was going to come while fucking Dean between the legs, pressed down low over Dean, breathing harshly in Dean’s ear while gripping Dean’s hair and chewing on the mouthguard right beside Dean’s neck, right where he could have bitten Dean, if reality was different.

"A-Alpha!" Dean wheezed out and scrunched his eyes shut when he came in his boxers, his whole body spasming beneath Cas.

And Cas let out such a pleased sound that Dean just knew the Alpha had noticed. Or maybe he had reacted to Dean’s desperate tone, either way, Cas rose to his arms and fucked hard into the tube a handful of times before finally finding his release too.

He grunted deeply and Dean really fucking regretted that mouthguard now, even if it probably had saved him from unpleasant bites that he totally would have fucking loved but didn’t deserve.

Dean relaxed gradually as he came down from his own high but his whole body jolted to and fro as Cas bucked against the tube now and then, emptying himself several more times into the plastic bag. Dean hadn’t been with the Alpha through any more orgasms since that first one so he didn't know if it was because the rut was at its peak right now but he thought that Cas was coming much more this time. The bag swelled between Dean’s leg, its content warm even through all the layers and Dean felt dizzy with residual arousal that coursed through his body at the thought of being covered in all that Alpha come.

At some point Cas draped himself over Dean and spit out the mouthguard to be able to nip and lick at Dean’s sweaty neck and hair. The Alpha was growling contentedly and Dean fucking loved all of it. Sure, he was getting uncomfortably sticky in his pants and lying on the floor was starting to feel like the worst idea ever, but he had his Alpha over him, comforting him with his sounds, scent, and touches. Dean allowed himself to be happy for a while, afraid of what would happen when Cas came down from this wave, when he became coherent enough to understand what had happened here. Dean wanted this bubble to last and never wanted to see Cas’ disgusted, disappointed face.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for Cas to start moving his limbs sluggishly, as if waking up from a deep sleep. And he most definitely didn’t expect the startled gasp Cas let out right before gingerly climbing off Dean. Dean groaned and rolled to the side, finally letting his back rest and allowing himself to get a deep enough breath.

"Dean?" Cas asked uncertainly, his voice gruff but definitely worried.

Dean peered up at him and saw to his surprise how the Alpha was looking at him with extreme concern, not disgust at having done such a thing with a human.

"Hey little Alpha." He mumbled and smiled a little at Cas.

But Cas was looking more and more upset, his hands suddenly flying over Dean’s body, checking him for injuries.

"What have I done?" Cas asked in a frantic rasp and Dean scrunched up his eyebrows. Didn’t Cas remember? "I forced myself on you."

Oh. Oh, so he remembered a little but apparently not the part where Dean came so hard he almost blacked out a little there. He closed his legs self-consciously and wondered if Cas had seen the wet spot.

"It’s okay, Alpha." Dean said kindly and caught one of Cas’ roaming hands. "It’s okay, I was in the wrong."

Cas’ eyes snapped up to meet Dean’s. "No." He grunted and shifted closer. Dean swallowed at the intensity in the Alpha’s eyes. "You did the right thing, I had no claim over Balthazar, he is Domesticated and I am Feral, it wouldn’t have been right. And I… I don’t really want him, I was just desperate." He took a deep breath and Dean looked softly at him while resting his back against the covers. "I’m glad you stopped me." Cas said sincerely and Dean’s chest felt warm for a second there before Cas’ face scrunched up in a mask of sorrow. "And I repaid you by holding you down and…" he swallowed hard and Dean could see his whole body shaking.

"Cas." He said and propped himself up on his elbows. Oh, he never wanted the Alpha to know his shameful secret but he couldn’t bear to see Cas beat himself up over something that Dean had in reality wanted. "I told you it’s fine. I," he harrumphed and looked away when Cas stared at him. "I kinda liked it."

Cas made a sound somewhere between a frustrated snarl and a desperate groan and suddenly Dean found himself picked up in the Alpha’s arms and thrown on the bed. Fucking hell, Dean had always known Alphas were strong but shit.

Before he had a chance to gather his wits Cas climbed into the bed too, dragging the cover he had had down on the floor with him. Dean was confused to notice that the only pillow and blankets in the bed were his, Cas’ own had been thrown into a corner. How had he not noticed that before?

"What’s going on, Alpha?" he asked in confusion but Cas didn’t answer except for pulling the cover over them and rolling himself around Dean, snuggling in so close that Dean’s face was all but smashed against the Alpha’s chest. "Uh, Cas?"

"Beautiful Dean." Cas purred and started grooming Dean’s hair while giving Dean’s forehead and face little kitten licks. "Never going to hurt you. Must protect you."

Dean relaxed when he realized this was a losing battle. Cas obviously thought he had hurt Dean and he wouldn’t listen right now. Dean would just have to explain it to him later, when the rut wasn’t clouding his mind. And besides, lying in Cas’ arms and getting groomed by the purring Alpha wasn’t half-bad. Was, in fact, everything Dean ever wanted.

So he resigned himself to lie there in his uncomfortably sticky boxers and let Cas lick his face and hair as he comforted Dean. Anything to make the Alpha feel better.

Dean really fucking wished the rut would be over soon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize some of you are getting a little impatient with the boys (and me!) so I feel the need to express my thoughts. And that is that I don’t want this to be just another generic rut-fuck-magically mated fic; I want their relationship to _mean_ something.   
>  Rest assured, though, that things are going to look up soon. Let’s just have a few more misunderstandings, Winchester-style ;) 
> 
> Next chapter will be up Thursday!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cas’ eyes were dangerous as he took in the two men. His face was a dark mask of a barely contained storm and Dean trembled in Benny’s arms when he saw the red of Alpha rage seeping in at the edges of Cas’ normally so blue eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, you’re gonna hate me now but hang on!

  
  


The days that followed the end of Cas’ rut were extremely odd for Dean. Because no matter how much he tried to convince the Alpha that he hadn’t hurt Dean, not really, no matter how much he assured the upset Were that he had in fact liked what had happened, Cas didn’t believe him.

And Dean couldn’t blame him. Because Cas knew how most humans looked at Weres and he couldn’t puzzle that together with Dean insisting that "I like dudes, you’re a dude, voila". Cas would never believe Dean as long as Dean couldn’t gather his courage to admit that his attraction went beyond the manly body; as long as Dean didn’t admit that being gay had nothing to do with this; as long as Dean couldn’t fucking man up and admit that he had wanted an Alpha practically his whole adult life. No, as long as Dean couldn’t admit that he was completely smitten with this particular Alpha, with _Cas_ , then Cas would never stop blaming himself for something that Dean secretly hoped would happen again.

In his eyes he had clearly assaulted Dean and his self-accusations only got worse when Dean felt forced to admit that yes, even if he hadn’t enjoyed it he never would have been able to push the Alpha off. Fuck, as soon as those words left Dean’s mouth he wanted to take them back. Because they sounded so much worse than he had meant them and Cas looked like Dean had punched him in the face.

And no matter how much Dean tried to rectify _that_ , Cas wouldn’t stop doting on Dean. He followed Dean everywhere, stood in the door and looked forlornly at Dean when Dean left for work in the morning, and was immediately inside the door when Dean got back in the evening.

Make no mistake; Dean knew very clearly that he shouldn’t keep Cas in the dark about his feelings because it was mean to make the Alpha think he had hurt Dean when he hadn’t. Cas didn’t believe for one second that Dean would derive some sort of pleasure from being pushed down by an Alpha, not as long as Dean wouldn’t admit to his whole shameful secret. To how he could only come when he thought of an Alpha’s knot and how, lately, that knot had been replaced by Cas’ knot, his touches and his face. As long as Dean couldn’t admit how much he wanted Cas then the Were would keep blaming himself and Dean was such a fucking coward for not telling him.

But if he told him then what? Cas would feel better about himself, even if he _had_ been the one to lose control, but would he embrace Dean’s affection? Would he stay but secretly resent Dean? Would he leave? Dean could barely breathe at the thought of losing Cas.

So he spent a few days trying to assure Cas it was perfectly okay what had happened between them and then he gradually dropped it and allowed himself to feel happy about the way Cas groomed him to sleep every night, how he made remarkable improvement in cooking and managed to use the stove to whip up scrambled eggs for Dean, how he purred in Dean’s ear every morning to wake him before the awful bleeping of Dean’s brand new alarm clock could wake him.

Dean allowed himself to just float through the days in a rose tinted haze and it seemed to calm the Alpha down too. Things went back to normal between them, if a little more adoring when they were alone. Dean wanted the Alpha more than ever, though, and sleeping beside him without being allowed to touch felt like torture but he couldn’t make Cas sleep anywhere else for fear of what kind of message that would send so he contented himself with what he got, which he honestly thought was more than he deserved.

When Ellen a week later suddenly got tired of waiting for Dean to invite himself and promptly invited them for dinner instead, Dean thought it would be a great idea. Cas was in a good mood and 

Dean wanted the Alpha to meet Bobby and to get to know his family and the more neutral setting of their house was a much better idea than the Roadhouse. So he happily accepted, grinning at the way Cas was purring beside him on the couch as he made plans with Ellen.

  


"Now, remember that Bobby’s the one in charge in this house." Dean said as they were driving over to Dean’s surrogate parents on Saturday, the week after Cas’ rut. "You’re the Alpha of our pack but, you know, Bobby’s kind of the old Alpha."

Cas quirked his lips in a knowing smile. "I know, Dean." He said in his gravelly voice and Dean nodded with a small smile of his own. "I would never disrespect your elder."

"I know." Dean parroted and looked over at Cas briefly, loving the strength that shone from the Alpha’s eyes. Man, it had been touch and go there for a while during the rut, times where Dean was sure he was doing everything wrong and Cas would never make it. But the Alpha had later assured Dean that it hadn’t been that bad and that he was fine now. Looking at him now Dean started to believe him. "I just want you to know that you’re my Alpha now, right? So it won’t matter if I show Bobby affection and respect, you and I are still going home together."

Cas purred shortly in response and turned to look out the window, the sunlight catching almost fucking poetically in his hair or whatever.

"I know humans look at packs, families, differently." Cas stated after a while in comfortable silence. "You grow up and you move away, just like Weres, but you all become your own Alphas. Sam is Alpha of his family and Bobby is Alpha of his, but still somehow Alpha over all of you at the same time." Cas turned back to look at Dean just as Dean turned down the gravel road that lead down to Bobby’s and Ellen’s house. "And you were Alpha over yourself and that was good too."

Dean blushed because he couldn’t help it. He was just glad it was warm outside so he had something to blame it on. "And then you came along Cas, and it got better." He mumbled, the words sounding a little stilted to him because there was so much more he wanted to say.

Cas seemed to get it, though, because he filled the car with his content purring for the rest of the drive.

Ellen was standing out by the porch when they arrived because of course she had heard baby’s rumbling, there was really no mistaking that sound.

She smiled widely at them both and pulled Dean into a tight hug before turning to Cas. She looked like she wanted to hug him too and Cas honestly looked torn between wanting it and not knowing what to do. Dean realized guiltily that for all of their intimate touches he had never really just hugged the Were, had he? He felt really bad about it now, watching Cas fidget.

Ellen just smiled at him, however, and brushed her hand down his arm. "I’m glad your rut went well, Alpha." She said kindly just as Dean saw Bobby approaching from the garage, wiping his hands on an already oily rag.

Cas made his _thank you_ -sound and Ellen smiled wider even though Dean suspected she probably didn’t know what it meant.

"Sammy coming too?" Dean asked and Ellen shook her head.

"They were both busy with school but I have another surprise for you inside." She winked when he just frowned but there was no time for that because Bobby was already beside him and Cas had turned to the older man.

"I hear you’re Dean’s Alpha?" Bobby said, gruff as ever and Ellen rolled her eyes at him. Dean just watched apprehensively as Cas squared his shoulders.

"Yes." He stated clearly and Bobby seemed taken aback when Cas spoke, probably having heard from Ellen that the Were mostly communicated with sounds rather than words.

Bobby and Cas seized each other up for a while and Dean could see that Ellen was about two seconds away to call them on their bullshit cock-measuring when Bobby suddenly extended his left arm.

"Good." He announced. "That boy needs someone to look after his sorry ass."

"Hey." Dean protested mildly when Ellen huffed out a small laugh. Cas’ face didn’t change in the slightest, though, and he didn’t even glance down at Bobby’s offered arm.

Instead he stepped right into Bobby’s personal space. All three humans looked on with surprise as Cas studied Bobby for a long while.

"You were Dean’s father’s friend." He stated just as Dean was getting nervous. Bobby just nodded in answer. "You took care of Dean when he needed help."

"I did." Bobby answered slowly but surely. "Those boys needed a home and I couldn’t let some orphanage take John and Mary’s kids."

Dean’s chest swelled with emotions at the memory of the uncertain months before authorities finally gave Bobby custody over Sam and Dean. Ellen and Jo had already moved in with them by that time and Dean had always thought that Child Protective Services had agreed because of that. Ellen put a hand on his arm and he smiled warmly down at her.

Then Cas surprised the shit out of them all by tilting his head back, presenting his vulnerable throat for Bobby.

"Thank you." The Alpha rumbled and Bobby stared dumbstruck at him before glancing over at Dean.

Dean felt a lump form in his throat at this clear display of unabashed trust. Alphas were the leaders and the protectors so for an Alpha to give over such trust was really something to behold. He quietly tapped his nose and looked meaningfully at Cas’ throat. Bobby gulped and why wouldn’t he? How often did humans get to scent Weres? It was definitely uncommon but not unheard of. Still, Dean had never thought he would witness it.

And just before the moment stretched out for too long for it to lose its meaning, Bobby bent forward a little and drew in a small whiff of Cas’ scent. Of course, whatever Bobby was able to smell would mean nothing to the old man but the gesture was clear enough and when he straightened with a nod, Cas looked extremely pleased.

"You’re a good Alpha." Bobby said because it felt like the obvious extension and the statement placated Cas like nothing else.

"Yeah, he is." Dean beamed and Cas looked at him with a little purr that made Ellen laugh elatedly.

"Dinner, boys?" she asked and turned to the house, the other three following her closely. "It’s your favorite, Dean."

"Pie?" Dean asked and felt so happy at the sound of Cas chuckling along with Bobby that he couldn’t help but grin over at the Were.

Fuck, he wanted to take the Alpha in his arms and kiss him silly. Kiss him for what he had done just now, accepting Bobby as the elder leader so easily, for how easily he got along with Dean’s family, for just being himself. Yeah, Dean was in deep shit because all he could think about all of a sudden was kissing Cas. And fuck Dean’s dick for getting overly enthusiastic over something that was supposed to be more emotional than sexual.

"If you only eat pie you’d get pudgy ‘round the belly." Bobby said good-heartedly and Dean laughed in his face.

"Look who’s talking, beer-belly." He teased and loved the way Cas quirked his lips at their banter. Bobby looked like he was going to retort when he was interrupted by Ellen opening the kitchen door and letting the wonderful smell of an excellent gumbo wash over them.

"Dean!" Jo exclaimed excitedly from the stove where she was stirring a big pot of the boiling deliciousness. She put the wooden spoon down by the stove and bounced over to them, stopping sheepishly by Cas to let him scent her.

"Gumbo?" Dean asked and turned to Ellen who was grinning at him. "Did you make it?" The only one he knew who could make a really good gumbo was—

"Cher!"

Dean’s thoughts were interrupted by Benny’s big bear-arms wrapping around his midsection and the other man almost lifting him up in the air as he hugged him from behind. Dean made a strangled sound and flailed to get down before turning around.

"Benny!" he exclaimed happily and hugged the man properly. "Didn’t know you were in town, man."

"I got in last week but Bobby warned me you had some stuff to take care of. He let me hole up here instead."

At the mention of that "stuff" Dean suddenly became hyper aware of Cas’ presence behind him. And sure enough, as soon as he had wrangled himself out of Benny’s light embrace and whipped around he was met with the Alpha’s dark eyes, staring directly at Benny.

"Yeah, I," Dean cleared his throat and stepped to the side. "I got an Alpha."

Benny’s eyes rounded out and he only then seemed to notice Cas’ intense stare. "Really?" he asked and stepped up to Cas without an ounce of fear in him, which of course raised Cas’ hackles. It wasn’t visible and the Alpha didn’t make a sound, but Dean could see the wary shift in Cas’ eyes.

"He was just in rut." Jo explained in a tone that suggested she and Cas were best buddies now. "So Dean had to stay home."

"I bet." Benny said with an impressed tone and looked over at Dean, silently asking how bad it had been. Dean shrugged but said nothing because Benny turned back to the Alpha and extended his arm for Cas to scent.

Cas bent down and took a whiff but he straightened without a sound. No approving grunt but, on the other hand, no warning growl either so Dean figured it would have to do. Benny had obviously startled the Alpha when he grabbed Dean like that and Cas _was_ very protective. Just remembering Sam’s welcome was proof enough of that.

"We good?" he asked and looked at Cas but Benny laughed before the Alpha could answer.

"We’re all good, brother."

He stepped around Cas to get to the stove and Dean didn’t like it one bit. The rest of the room seemed to relax with Benny’s carefree attitude, however, and Ellen went to set the table together with Jo as Bobby went upstairs to wash up.

Cas was tracking Benny’s every movement and Dean immediately went to his Alpha’s side.

"It’s okay, Alpha." He said soothingly in a low murmur and could hear the low growl Cas let out at that. "Benny’s just really friendly. We grew up as best friend and we’ve worked together at Bobby’s garage. He’s part of the family."

Cas looked over at Dean and seemed to study Dean’s very soul before he snorted as if trying to get a bad smell out of his nose. Dean’s stomach clenched at the gesture. It was very clear to him that Cas hadn’t found any threatening in Benny’s scent but that clearly didn’t mean he had to like the man. And by the way Cas tracked Benny’s every movement Dean understood that the Alpha did _not_ like him. A small part of him wondered if it was because it was obvious to the Were that Benny and Dean had a history other than what he had just explained but he pushed the thought aside, shaking his head at the sheer ridiculousness.

As the day wore on, however, Dean started to think that that assumption hadn’t been so wrong. Cas watched like a hawk how Benny interacted with Dean. Snarling silently when Benny held out the spoon for Dean to taste the gumbo, baring his teeth slightly when they sat down at the table to eat and Benny took the seat on the other side of Dean.

And Dean tried to ignore it because it was stupid, wasn’t it? Because if Cas didn’t see Benny as a threat to their lives then his behavior must surely mean that he regarded Benny as a rival for Dean’s affection and that notion was just not possible. No, Dean was sure he was projecting again and that maybe Cas didn’t like Benny simply because he didn’t like his personality. Not everybody had to love everybody, after all.

In any case Dean felt sandwiched between the lowly growling Alpha and his jovial friend/ex-lover. Benny was regaling them with what he had been up to for the last couple of years, travelling all over the US and now thinking of settling down in Florida to build a gator farm. They all laughed and listened attentively because it was hard not to when Benny was such a captivatingly happy man.

But all the while Dean felt the snorts that Cas let out on his other side, his breath warm as it ghosted over Dean’s arm. And Dean didn’t know what foot to stand on. Benny had been his best friend for a long time and they had shared what Dean had always thought of as his best effort at a normal relationship. But Cas was his Alpha.

After dinner they sat down in the living room to have some pie after all and Cas thankfully got distracted for a while by Jo telling him about how she was trying to convince Bobby to quit all the manual labor at the garage and start keeping bees instead. It was an old running joke because beekeeping was supposedly calming and Bobby was always grousing about annoying customers and his back hurting. But Cas’ eyes turned big and round at the mention of cultivating bees so Jo pulled out some books to show him, all while Bobby groused even more when he realized he might have yet another one supporting the crazy idea.

Dean breathed out when he saw that Cas definitely got along with Jo now, even after their disastrous first meeting. He was glad that Cas was able to give people second chances, even after what he had been through, and he was hoping that would apply to Benny as well but wasn’t so sure.

They sat for a while, making small talk and Cas making all his little sounds that Dean was so intimately familiar with and that made Jo titter as they sat shoulder to shoulder looking through the books.

It was later in the evening, the sun low and bathing the upper floor in orange colors, that Dean found himself walking out of the upstairs bathroom, right into the seemingly waiting arms of Benny.

"You lost?" Dean grinned but Benny’s answering smile was too sad to sit right with him.

"I’ve missed you, cher." Benny mumbled low, much too intimately, and Dean’s eyes darted to the empty stairs before focusing back on Benny.

"I missed you too, man. You should come home more often."

Benny sighed deeply and grabbed Dean by his wrist, pulling him into what had once been Dean and Sam’s room but now clearly doubled as an office and guest room.

"You know what I mean, Dean."

Dean looked down at where Benny’s hand still was clutching his wrist. The pressure was nice and steadying and when he breathed in he got his nose full of Benny’s aftershave. It was still the same one as the one he had used when they had been together and its familiarity was comforting.

"I know." He mumbled and let Benny crowd in on him.

"I remember what you said, Dean. I know we agreed that we shouldn’t keep going because there was no spark or whatever you called it." He was close enough that Dean could feel his every breath on his face. "But I lied."

"What’s this coming from, Benny?" Dean pushed out but didn’t step away from the other man.

Seeing Benny again felt really good and standing so close to him was bringing back all these memories that Dean had thought he’d forgotten. That, coupled with the fact that Dean had wanted a get-together with Benny ever since he first picked up Cas was making Dean’s head spin. And it certainly didn’t help that Dean’s body was _still_ thrumming from Cas’ rut, from what had happened between them, and from the fact that they still shared a bed. Hell, even Cas’ suspicious growling all day had been fucking arousing at this point because it kind of seemed like the Alpha was jealous of Benny and wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake?

"Did you think I didn’t notice how that Were of yours have been staring at me all day?" Benny’s southern drawl grew heavier when he was aroused, Dean remembered all in a rush and boy if Benny wasn’t laying it on thick right now. Dean’s dick twitched at the thought.

"Cas’ overprotective, ‘s all." He murmured in response and didn’t look up when Benny snorted at him.

"Come with me to Florida." He said suddenly and _that_ made Dean look up.

"What?" he frowned at his friend. His incredibly close, nice-smelling, hot as fuck friend. "I can’t go to Florida. Besides, weren’t you taking that girl you met, Andrea?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "You always were the stubborn one, brother."

"Says the guy who’s still hogging my hand." Dean stated dryly and saw the amused glint in Benny’s eyes that he had missed so much.

Fuck, if he was honest he had missed a lot about Benny. The man was kind and smart and utterly uncomplicated. And he was handsome and strong and a fucking force in bed.

And when the hell had they drifted so closely together? Why was this happening? Dean didn’t know but he couldn’t deny that he wanted it, at least on some level. He fucking needed to get laid. This was the longest he had gone without a dick, or even his dildo, since he was a teenager and still afraid of his own feelings.

God, Dean was practically shaking with the sudden need that rushed over him. His dick was already semi hard and as they pressed closer that last inch, slotting their bodies together in an almost painfully familiar way, he could feel the distinct outline of Benny’s erection as well.

"Shit, Benny." He moaned lowly, trying to stifle it by biting his lip. They hadn’t even done anything yet for Christ’s sake.

"I lied." Benny confessed again in an intimate tone, his lips almost touching Dean’s as he spoke. "We agreed that what we had lacked that last little something-something but I felt it all along."

Dean pulled away to rest his forehead on the other man’s shoulder, shaking his head slightly. "Don’t say that, not now. I can’t give you what you want."

Benny’s hands felt divine as they massaged Dean’s hips. "But maybe I can give you what you need, Dean."

Dean’s whole body jolted with pleasure and he rubbed his increasingly interested dick against Benny’s hip, slotting his thigh between the other man’s legs.

"Fuck yeah." He groaned and then drew a sharp breath when Benny spun them around to press him up against the wall by the door.

The motion made Dean knock the door with his elbow so that it swung open and what Dean saw on the other side made his throat close up in dread even as Benny froze in place.

Cas’ eyes were dangerous as he took in the two men. His face was a dark mask of a barely contained storm and Dean trembled in Benny’s arms when he saw the red of Alpha rage seeping in at the edges of Cas’ normally so blue eyes.

"Alpha." Dean whispered and Cas’ eyes snapped from Benny’s face to meet Dean’s frightened expression. His features didn’t soften and that, if nothing else, made Dean more scared than anything.

With a last look between them, Cas turned silently to leave, the only sound the light padding of his naked feet on the carpet.

"Shit, that…" Benny cleared his throat and let go of Dean to take a step back. "What just happened?"

Dean was shaking all over where he was still leaned against the wall. Cas had seen them. Cas was angry. Fuck, Dean didn’t think he had ever seen Cas that angry when he looked at Dean. And… And he had somehow seemed so _sad_ too, so disappointed.

"I need to go." Dean mumbled and rubbed a hand over his mouth, the memory of Benny’s almost-kiss still lingering there.

"Yeah." Benny agreed; obviously still a little shaken by Cas’ murderous glare. "But just so you know, I won’t be leaving town in another couple of weeks. I’ll be staying with Ash as soon as he’s gotten his apartment and I’m gonna be working a little at the garage." He smiled and Dean wanted to be comforted by the kind smile and reassuring words but could only see Cas’ hurt face before his eyes. "My offer to you still stands."

"I can’t move to Florida." Dean repeated in a flat tone and pushed himself off the wall.

Benny shook his head. "I know. I meant about the sex." He grinned with a wink and Dean couldn’t help but let out a shaky guffaw.

"Gotcha."

Everyone else was still in the living room when Dean came down but of course Cas was nowhere to be seen.

"Dean?" Ellen asked as he stopped in the doorway, looking around. "Did something happen? Cas just walked right past us and outside, he looked angry."

_Shit._

"Yeah, I know." He mumbled and tried to sound normal. "He’s just been tired after his rut and he’s not that well-versed in social etiquette." He grinned at her to make the lie believable and it seemed to calm her down. "I think we’re just gonna go."

She nodded and he shared a few quick words with Bobby, hugged Jo, and then he was jogging outside, hoping Cas wouldn’t have gotten too far.

As it turned out, Cas had gotten nowhere. The Alpha was sitting in baby, staring straight out the windshield but his eyes were unseeing and he didn’t even react when Dean walked closer. Fuck, Dean felt awful and he didn’t even know why.

Cas was his Were, right? Fooling around with Benny wasn’t cheating on Cas. But then why did it feel like it? Why had Dean felt bad about jerking off that guy in the bar a few weeks back? Dean knew, deep down, why he felt like that but he couldn’t figure out why Cas seemed to be upset about it as well.

He stood indecisively by the car for a moment, tapping her hood with his knuckles before he sighed and got in the driver seat.

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you.”

  
  


It had been a long and extremely quiet drive back from Bobby and Ellen’s and as soon as they got home, Cas brushed past Dean and headed deeper into the apartment. But Dean knew without a doubt where he was going and he followed the Alpha without hesitation.

Cas obviously knew he was being followed and he didn’t even bother with closing the door before sliding under the bed in the guest bedroom. Dean walked in just as Cas slunk under it and he wondered distractedly how the Were could do it so gracefully. Dean probably looked like a clubbed seal trying to wriggle his way under the low bed.

He sighed and walked up to the bed. Cas was still eerily silent, no warning growl or nothing, and it made Dean’s stomach clench uncomfortably.

"Look, Cas. I’m… I’m sorry, okay?" He of course received no answer and he sat down with a new sigh, resting his back against the bed and pulling up his legs. He felt tired and sad and lonely. He rubbed his hands over his face to try and get control over his emotions. "I can’t do this anymore." He whispered, more to himself than Cas but that didn’t make it any less true. The levee was bound to break sometime, he supposed, so why not now? "I know why I’m upset this happened, could you please tell me why you’re upset?"

Cas growled refusingly in answer and Dean wanted to groan in frustration but managed not to.

"Look, I hate talking about stuff too but I think we gotta." He rested his hands on his knees and stared at the boxes on the other side of the room. How different would his life have been if he had gotten that roommate instead of living alone? He wouldn’t have been able to take Cas in, that was for sure. Unless his roommate had been someone who really liked Weres too. Maybe someone like that Kevin kid, or perhaps Charlie? He should really call her to tell her how Cas’ rut had gone, he had after all promised her. And he needed to reschedule with Kevin, their last meeting having been cancelled by Cas’ rut. Dean really ought to do a lot of stuff.

"Me and Benny used to be lovers." He confessed in a low voice. Cas made no sound. "I used to think that we would end up together for… well, for forever, you know? I wanted to want that because Benny’s a good guy but I…" he sighed deeply. "In the end I didn’t want it. He wasn’t enough."

Cas made a sound at that but Dean didn’t recognize it. It sounded like something between triumphant and sad. Like maybe Cas was happy Benny hadn’t been sufficient but that he was still sad for Dean’s sake. Dean didn’t know. His throat felt thick at hearing that sound come from the Alpha, however, and he tried swallowing over the lump. It hurt. He threaded his fingers together and tried to calm his beating heart.

"I want you." He whispered in a hushed voice and he felt confused for a moment when the dread he had thought would follow those words didn’t come. Instead he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders and when Cas didn’t emerge to rip his throat out he felt confident enough to continue. "I’ve been attracted to Alphas for a long time and you… You’re just fucking perfect, Cas." Yeah. Yeah this felt really good to admit out loud. He heard a noise from under the bed, the Alpha moving, but he didn’t stop talking. Couldn’t. "I took you in because I felt like I needed to help you, even though I knew I had no right to be around you, around _any_ Alpha. And I’ve… I mean, fuck you’re just so…" he turned to look at Cas when the Alpha slid out from under the bed to sit beside Dean, looking attentively at him. There was some dust in his hair and Dean couldn’t resist reaching out and brushing it off. Cas just sat there and let him. "You’re everything I’ve ever wanted." He mumbled then, suddenly scared and ashamed just like he had thought he would be. It was much harder saying this to the Alpha’s face, that was for fucking sure.

Dean flinched minutely when Cas reached over to grasp Dean’s neck lightly. His fingers brushed the fine hairs at the nape there and Dean shuddered a little.

"Dean." Cas murmured in his low purr. "That man, he touched you." He stated, still in his low murmur and fuck, was he leaning closer?

"Yeah." Dean mumbled, completely unable to look away or even move. "He wanted to have sex with me."

"Did you want it?"

Dean swallowed over the lump. "I want you." He repeated and watched with round eyes how Cas’ pupils were slowly dilating. "You have no fucking idea how it hurts, not having you."

Cas was on him then, his mouth hovering just over Dean’s and his whole body pressed up against Dean’s side as he crowded Dean against the bedside table.

"Humans don’t want Weres."

" _I_ do." Dean moaned submissively and turned so he could open his legs for the Alpha to slot between. "I know it’s wrong, I know I’m fucked in the head but I want it so bad. Cas, I-I need you and not _just_ because you’re an Alpha."

Cas slid in between Dean’s legs, forcing them apart with his thighs and resting his hands on the table to lean over Dean, still close enough to kiss but holding himself off. Dean was trembling all over with the intensity of Cas’ stare.

"What I did to you during my rut—"

"I loved it, alright?" Dean exclaimed in a voice too high-pitched for his own liking. "I’ve been fantasizing about you doing exactly that except you should force your fat knot inside _me_ instead of a goddamn toy."

Cas snarled dangerously but not threateningly, just enough to shut Dean up. "I’ve wanted that too." He growled out and leaned down to nose along Dean’s jawbone. Dean’s eyes were wide in confusion and shock. "Alphas may lose a little of their minds during rut but we’re not completely crazy. I never would have done that to you if I didn’t want you on some level."

"C-Cas." Dean groaned in a strangled tone and the Alpha’s jaws snapped beside his ear, quieting him again.

"Do you think it’s been easy for me being around you?" Cas growled in a deliciously low voice. "Do you even know what it’s been like for me, trying to control myself around you? It’s uncommon but not weird for Ferals to lay with humans so I wasn’t surprised when my gratitude towards you turned into desire. I suspected it would go there ever since I first scented you, but," he shook his head slowly, his nose bumping Dean’s ear. "But when I saw how you acted around me, how you were pulling away, I thought you didn’t want it."

"Fuck." Dean mumbled and couldn’t keep his hands away any longer. He grasped the Alpha’s T-shirt, fisting it tightly and tried to drag the Alpha down on him but Cas was like a statue.

"You even said so, Dean." Cas growled against Dean’s hair. "That morning when you were calling out to me in your sleep, smelling so sweetly of arousal. I thought then that I had been wrong; that you wanted me too. But you were upset after, you said it wasn’t right, that it had nothing to do with me."

"I was lying." Dean whispered and ducked his head when Cas pulled out to look at him. Cas growled at him but Dean defied the clear order by bowing his head. "You assumed fucking right, okay? I was just too chicken shit to admit it."

"Why?"

"Because… Because human society says it’s wrong. Because everyone I love would look at me with disgust. Because I thought _you_ would look at me with anger and disgust and you would leave. I-I couldn’t deal with it."

"I’m not leaving you." Cas stated in what was clearly his Alpha voice and Dean moaned lowly at hearing it.

"Why would you want me?" Dean mumbled and Cas started nosing against his temple, seemingly unable to keep away. "You could have any Were you want. A pretty Omega, just for you."

"You don’t know what your scent does to me." Cas groaned then and it made Dean surprised enough to pull out to meet his eyes. The Alpha’s pupils were huge and Dean suddenly noticed that Cas was shaking too. His whole body was vibrating and when Dean sneaked a glance down he could see the Alpha’s sweats tented and holy fucking shit, how hadn’t Dean noticed until now?

"Jesus Christ." Dean pushed out and dared put a hand on that forbidden fruit. Cas groaned deeply and when Dean looked up he saw that the Alpha had his head thrown back, his throat completely bared for Dean. He trembled at the implications even as he gently felt Cas up. Fuck, the Alpha’s cock was huge even without his knot swollen; it was warm and pulsing and felt utterly perfect in Dean’s trembling hand.

"I’ve barely been able to control myself, not with the scent of your arousal all around me. When you pleasure yourself in the shower I…" he bit off with a new groan when Dean’s hand tightened around his cock.

"You’ve smelt that?" he asked, blushing despite the fact that he had been suspecting as much all along. "I thought it would make you uncomfortable. Like I was a pervert for wanting you."

Cas snorted as if that was the most ridiculous notion he had ever heard. "When you’re away for work I pleasure myself with your dirty clothes."

"Shit." Dean gasped at the hushed confession and his hand sped up on the Alpha’s cock. Cas closed his eyes and bared his teeth in pleasure. Dean’s dick was already leaking in his boxers and he felt aroused enough to feel lightheaded but he wanted the Alpha to keep talking. "Tell me how."

Cas’ breath hitched and he started slowly rocking his hips in time with Dean’s hand. "Sometimes I take your underwear and wrap it around my cock. Sometimes I ball it up and put it in my mouth. When you helped me come with that toy during my rut I was so close to pouncing on you but I didn’t want you to hate or fear me."

Dean’s breath was coming in short gasps, stuttering out of him as if he was choking. "We’re a couple of dumbasses."

Cas’ eyes snapped open and he put a hand on Dean’s neck again, pulling him impossibly close. "Can we continue talking later?"

Dean nodded so fast he almost knocked their heads together. "Fuck me, Alpha."

Cas made a strangled sound and crushed their mouths together, eagerly licking into Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned and clawed at the Alpha’s shoulders, heaving up his body to get more contact with the Were and Cas responded by grabbing Dean around the waist and pulling him up to his feet.

Cas tasted like he smelled and he was kissing so fucking demandingly that Dean’s knees threatened to give out the moment he stood up. He made an embarrassingly whimpering sound when their heated bodies pressed together and he felt Cas’ hard cock pressed flush against his own.

Was this really happening? Dean couldn’t believe _this_ had come from just confessing his feelings to the Alpha. That Cas reciprocated was like a fucking dream and Dean cursed himself for keeping silent for so long.

"I need you, Alpha." He moaned wantonly against Cas’ mouth and the Were responded with a deep growl.

"Bedroom." He demanded and pulled Dean with him as he started backing out of the room.

Dean didn’t understand what he meant when there was a perfectly good bed right beside them but he wasn’t going to object. He wanted more of Cas’ Alpha voice, more of Cas grabbing him possessively, so he just stumbled along.

They didn’t get further than the hallway before Cas slammed Dean against the wall and grinded his hips in slow, torturous circles. The easy burn in Dean’s body was flaring searing hot by now and he was panting as Cas licked his way down Dean’s throat, nibbling on his Adam’s apple.

Dean made a strangled sound as he felt his dick twitching painfully. He grabbed the back of Cas’ head to keep his face against Dean’s neck, right where a mating bite traditionally would go and he could feel Cas opening his mouth to graze his teeth against the sensitive skin.

"Want you." Dean whined and lifted his right leg to wrap it around the Alpha’s hip, giving him better access.

Cas groaned and lapped at Dean’s throat while lifting Dean’s other leg as well. Dean let out a startled sound but went with the motion, wrapping his other leg around Cas too, clinging tightly to the Alpha so he wouldn’t fall.

Cas pulled away from Dean’s throat to kiss him deeply just as he started bucking against Dean’s crotch, rolling their erections together in a motion so controlled that Dean shook with desperation against him.

"I never want anyone else." Cas grunted and Dean fucking keened, making a sound he had never heard himself make before. "No one has ever smelt as good as you, Dean. My perfect human, all for me."

Dean’s thighs were trembling and he thrashed against Cas’ grip, trying to speed up the bucking of the Alpha’s hips and Dean was fearing he would come much too soon. Couldn’t listen to Cas’ whisky-voice and feel his touches without creaming his pants.

"Shit, Cas, if you wanna be inside me when I come you’d better hurry the fuck up." He moaned and it made Cas snarl. The Alpha grabbed Dean’s short hair to pull his head back and kiss his jaw, biting lightly on the spot just beneath Dean’s ear. "I’m not fucking kidding."

And Cas letting out an honest to God chuckle at Dean’s desperation wasn’t exactly helping either. But the Alpha didn’t tease him anymore than that. He simply stepped back and allowed Dean to get to his feet and then dragged him over to their bedroom and oh, suddenly this made a lot more sense.

Cas wanted Dean but didn’t want to do it in the impersonal bed in the guest room, even though Dean had started referring to it as Cas’ room. The Alpha wanted Dean on their bed, in their bedroom, and Dean was blushing from just calling it that.

Well inside Cas wasted no time shucking off his clothes and Dean gulped audibly from seeing the Were’s toned body. Seeing it again in this state, hard and flushed because of Dean, made him aroused as fuck but he still got extremely conscious about that pudge on his stomach that Bobby had teased him for. It was ridiculous, of course, because Cas had seen Dean naked or partially naked on a number of occasions and yet here he was, fat erection standing right in Dean’s face. And that was because of Dean, he had to remind himself of that.

Actually, the more he looked at Cas moving around to make a small nest on the bed, the less self-conscious he felt. Yeah, he thought when Cas turned around with a triumphant look, all that other shit could just go screw itself because Dean was going to get fucked. By an Alpha. By _his_ Alpha.

"It looks perfect, Alpha." He murmured when Cas showboated the pile of pillows and blankets on the bed.

Cas’ pleased purr was much lower because of his arousal and it sent a pleasant shiver down Dean’s spine. Dean’s fingers felt numb and useless as he tried to unbutton his jeans as fast as humanly possible. Cas was grinning predatorily at him and holy shit, Dean had never seen the Alpha smile so widely before. It made him weak in the knees but Cas was on him, catching him before he could drop to the floor.

Then again, maybe he wanted to kneel before the Alpha. Dean felt lightheaded again when he thought about sucking Cas’ cock. But the moment passed because then Cas was tearing at Dean’s clothes, undressing him quickly, before all but throwing him on the bed.

Dean bounced on the mound of pillows and his dick bounced on his stomach, smearing precome on his lower abdomen and before Dean even had time to properly catch his breath, Cas had sucked him deep down his throat. Dean made a strangled scream and fisted Cas’ hair tightly. The pleasure that shot up his spine when he felt the wet heat of Cas’ tongue around him was fucking blinding.

"S-shit." He croaked and bucked his hips before he could even think about it. He was too far gone into this — had wanted Cas for too long — for him to think clearly right now. The only thoughts in his mind were _Cas’ mouth is on me_ and _an Alpha is sucking me_. Because he had never, not for all his desperate searching, managed to find a porno that featured Alphas sucking dick.

He had wanted it so badly, wanted to see those proud creatures giving their partners pleasure by putting themselves on the spot, giving up trust so willingly. Fuck, he loved Alphas taking charge, that was for sure, but to see Cas like this, to see him actually deriving pleasure from pleasuring Dean… It was too much.

"Imma come." He moaned and pulled on Cas’ hair, trying not to let Cas’ purr do him in. "Please, Alpha, please lick me open. Want your big Alpha cock in me, want you so bad."

Cas pulled off with a lewd pop and Dean clenched every muscle he had not to shoot right then and there. He relaxed gradually as Cas was sliding up his body, slotting them together and fucking hell, that was the Alpha’s hard cock, right next to Dean’s spit-slick one. He moaned pitifully and bucked restlessly against Cas, to which Cas responded by chuckling and kissing him possessively.

"Beautiful Dean." Cas rumbled and Dean was shaking for real now. The immediate threat of his orgasm was over but he was still extremely on edge and he had wanted this for too fucking long, okay?

"The drawer, Cas." He mumbled against Cas’ lips and flailed out with his arm to indicate his bedside table. Cas looked over and then dragged himself over to open it. Fuck, the position made him half-sprawled on top of Dean and Dean loved how the Alpha’s cock was pressing against his ribs.

"What am I looking for?" Cas asked and pulled out Dean’s dildo.

Dean blushed crimson. "Not that." He all but squeaked and slapped it out of Cas’ curious hands. "I-I use it to fuck myself but I don’t need it no more. Right?" he added the last with a seriously uncertain lilt and hated himself for sounding so weak.

Cas turned back to him and looked at him with adoring but calculating eyes that shouldn’t feel sexy but totally fucking did. "I want to see it sometime."

"Okay." Dean heard himself answer but before he could get embarrassed he felt a warm feeling bloom in his chest at Cas’ pleased expression. "Next time, ‘kay? Just get the tube in there for now. The purple one."

Cas found it without problem and sat up on the bed, straddling Dean’s thigh, and looking at the tube of Astroglide with an adorably confused frown. He opened the cap and smelled it, his nostrils flaring at the scent. Dean had to grab his dick and stroke slowly a few times to relieve pressure because shit, Cas looked _good_ right now. His hair all sex-ruffled and his lips kiss-swollen.

"Is this… instead of slick?" he asked after a short moment and looked over at Dean who swallowed thickly.

"Yeah." He admitted in a tight voice. "I’m sorry I can’t produce it on my own. If-if I was a girl I would’ve at least been able to…" he swallowed again. "Human males don’t get wet and our hole’s not really built for it. I need to loosen the muscle up and use lube to ease the slide."

Cas tilted his head to the side and regarded Dean for a moment that was too long for Dean not to get nervous. But just as he was sure Cas was about to regret this whole thing the Alpha crawled over to sit between Dean’s legs, pushing them open further.

"You have to loosen it up?" he asked and held up the tube. "Or can I?"

Dean’s breath hitched and he blinked rapidly to dispel the risk of any goddamn tears forming because what the fuck was he about to cry for? Instead he just nodded mutely and arched up the bed a little, getting comfortable with one pillow beneath his head and another beneath his lower back, elevating his ass a little as he spread his legs even further.

Cas’ eyes darkened considerably and when they zeroed in on Dean’s hole he felt naked, vulnerable and so fucking desired. He could feel himself clenching subconsciously and it made Cas lick his lips. The Alpha lowered himself and snapped the lid on the tube shut again as he came face to face with Dean’s taint.

"Oh God." Dean groaned and lifted his hips a little, needing friction on his dick and getting nothing but empty air. And he definitely didn’t want to give himself any more than that because he would fucking come if he did, he just knew. So he contented himself with rolling his nipples with his fingers as Cas inched closer.

The first lick was tentative, as if the Alpha was unsure Dean really wanted his tongue down there. But the unabashed moan that Dean let out must have given him confidence enough because the next lick was a wide, wet stripe that went all the way from Dean’s hole to his balls.

"Human." Cas growled and grabbed Dean’s thighs roughly, pulling up to sit on his knees as he dragged Dean up with him. Dean made a strangled sound and put his hands flat on the bed as he came to rest on his shoulders with his ass in the air and lower back pressed to Cas’ stomach as the Alpha buried his face against Dean’s hole. "Good. Perfect."

Dean moaned a continuous string of unintelligent words as Cas’ licking got progressively faster, rougher, sloppier. He was drooling and Dean’s hole was quivering. It felt like fireworks were going off down there, spreading all the way through Dean’s body. The Alpha’s tongue was wide and extremely deft and when he worked the tip of it into Dean’s hole there really was no going back.

Dean slapped the bed, wailing as his dick jumped painfully. "I can’t— _fuck_ —can’t take it, Cas. It hurts Alpha, I n-need…"

Cas shushed him gently and let him down, laying Dean out like something to be worshipped and Dean only then realized he was hiccupping, trying to control his breath.

Dean’s whole body jolted when he heard the cap being snapped open again. "I am Alpha." Cas said in a thick voice, his rumble so deep that Dean had to close his eyes just to bask in the sound. "I will take care of you. Let me take care of you."

"Yes." Dean mewled when he felt two slick fingers prodding at his already wet and loose hole. He arched his back and fisted the pillow under his head when Cas pushed inside.

It burned, sure, but not worse than anything else Dean had done and Cas had done a really fucking great job of opening Dean up with his mouth. Still, Cas’ cock was big.

"Another finger." He ground out much sooner than he normally would. His dick was jumping and spitting precome and he was starting to think that it would have been better if he had come out there in the hallway so he could have let himself calm down a little.

"Never going to hurt you." Cas growled warningly; an Alpha protecting his lover.

Dean flushed all over. "You’re not." He said confidently. "But you’re so big, we need to stretch me and—" he stopped when he got an idea. "Wait." Cas stilled immediately and Dean smiled as reassuringly as he could with his orgasm so close to the surface. "Get the dildo, stretch me with that. It’s not as big as you but it’s bigger than your fingers."

Cas blinked at him a couple of times and Dean was sure he was going to refuse but then a wolfish grin spread over Cas’ handsome face and Dean couldn’t help but smile shakily back. Cas was in and out of the bed in a heartbeat, Dean’s familiar, red rubber dildo in his hand when he got back. Sure, Dean usually needed stretching before using that as well but he had had enough of it already. His hole felt gaping wide and so fucking empty it hurt his chest.

The moment Cas put the dildo to Dean’s heated body, Dean bucked up, sucking the tip of the toy inside without preamble.

"Fuck yeah." Dean groaned and circled his hips as Cas pulled out and pushed it inside, deeper this time. It felt so fucking good Dean was back to being a shaking mess in no time. "Gonna feel so good with you inside, Alpha." He gasped and when Cas draped himself over Dean to kiss him while fucking him on the toy Dean could do nothing but try to reciprocate and buck his hips wildly.

Too soon it started feeling too good and Dean was begging now, little noises he didn’t recognize mixed with Cas’ name. Pleas for release and for Cas’ pleasure as well.

Then suddenly Cas jammed the dildo in there and sat up on his knees again, regarding Dean’s whole visage with a tilt of his head. Dean had no doubt he looked like a debauched whore but he didn’t care because the lust that shone out of the Alpha’s eyes was clear enough evidence that he liked what he saw.

"Please, Alpha." Dean whined and lifted his hips, feeling the dildo shift and bump his prostate. It made him cry out hoarsely and then Cas was tracing the rim of Dean’s hole, testing the give.

"The most beautiful…" Cas murmured and removed the dildo carefully before aligning himself, holding the head of his cock against Dean’s hole. "Gonna make you mine." He looked up and his eyes had a dangerous glint to them that made Dean arch his back with a desperate moan. "You’re never going to think of another Alpha. No other man. Not that _Benny_. No one." He spat out Benny’s name and Dean really wished he could show his Alpha how much he wanted him, how little he had to worry.

He stretched out his arms, reaching for Cas with shaking hands and grabbing his collar lightly. "Come here, little Alpha." He murmured and Cas followed willingly when Dean pulled him down, pressing harder at Dean’s opening. They pressed their mouths together just as Cas’ cock breached Dean’s rim and fuck, just… fuck.

Shivers travelled up and down Dean’s body and he wrapped his legs around Cas’ waist as the Alpha started gently rolling his hips, getting deeper and deeper with every buck. Dean had never felt so full or so whole. Cas’ cock was big and so warm Dean felt like his ass was melting.

He grabbed at Cas’ shoulders, kissing the Alpha fiercely and Cas was growling low in his chest, the rumble travelling into Dean’s body too, making his dizzy. He finally had his Alpha and Cas wanted him too. It was unbelievable and incredible and too much.

When Cas had finally bottomed out he stilled for a while, breathing harshly against Dean’s neck. It didn’t take him long to gather himself, though, and when he had pulled out he snapped right back in, setting a hard and almost desperate pace and Dean fucking loved it. Because _there_ was all that Alpha force that had his mouth watering.

Dean clung to the Were, his own dick trapped between them and rubbing deliciously against Cas’ toned stomach.

"Fuck yes, Alpha." Dean moaned and mouthed at Cas’ hair. "Claim me, make me yours. Want your scent all over me."

Cas growled in response, a pleased purr bubbling up and Dean could feel him licking where he would normally bite and Dean just then realized he didn’t know where the mouthguard was. And then directly after also realized that he didn’t fucking care. That he, in fact, relished the thought of Cas biting him.

"Breed me." He wheezed out, the force of Cas’ thrusts pushing the air out of his lungs. "Breed me full of your pups, Alpha." That seemed to drive Cas insane with desire and his thrusts picked up pace, his hips pummeling Dean’s as he snarled beside Dean’s ear, his teeth clacking as he chewed the air. The sheer desperation in his movements made Dean’s heart ache and he clutched the Alpha even closer.

"Mate me." He whispered in a raspy voice, his throat tight not from arousal anymore but from fucking emotions at admitting to wanting something so extremely intimate. "Want you to bite me, want to be yours."

"D-Dean." Cas groaned and sounded vulnerable for the first time since this started. Dean didn’t have time to pursue it, though, because Cas braced himself on one hand while he wrapped the other around Dean’s dick and fucking shit, Dean had all but forgotten about his own orgasm but there it fucking was.

His whole body pulled tight as a bowstring and he flung his head back in a silent scream as his climax hit. His dick erupted in fat spurts of come that slathered them both and Dean couldn’t breathe, could barely manage to stay conscious as Cas sucked lightly on his throat while still ramming him.

"Alpha." Dean sighed contentedly as he rode out his high and that single word seemed to be enough for Cas because only a couple of thrusts later he stilled and Dean could feel him emptying himself deep inside Dean’s body, his greedy hole milking Cas for all he had.

Cas’ orgasm was longer than Dean’s but out of rut it was nowhere near as full as it was with his knot swollen. Still, Dean could feel the beginnings of a swollen knot against his ass and Cas’ orgasm was plentiful, that was for fucking sure.

The Alpha groaned and when he could no longer hold himself up Dean hugged him tight to his chest. Cas slid out of him when they rolled over to their sides and Dean had never felt emptier after sex. Before he could feel himself drop too low, however, Cas reached behind him and slipped in two fingers through the mess he had made of Dean’s hole.

Dean blinked and looked at Cas’ content face, the feeling of the Alpha’s fingers in his ass a little odd when the touch wasn’t sexual anymore. Because he was sure it wasn’t. It was reassurance, it was the Alpha assuring his partner that he was still there, it was possessive in its simple claim, and Dean decided to just roll with it. Mostly because it was what he wanted but also because he thought Cas needed it too.

He snuggled in against Cas’ sweaty chest, savoring the warmth and smell of the Alpha and after a while he started really liking Cas’ fingers in there. It felt right, knowing his Alpha was close and would stay close.

"I wasn’t just saying it." He mumbled after a while, feeling incredibly bold in the afterglow, and Cas made his questioning sound. Dean traced his fingers on the Alpha’s pec. "I meant it. I want you to claim me."

That made Cas open his eyes but Dean squished down any fears he had at admitting this and met the Were’s gaze head on. He needed whatever Cas could smell on him to smell like comfort and honesty. Needed the Alpha to understand.

"Dean." Cas started warily but he didn’t move away or even withdraw his fingers.

Dean pressed impossibly close and clenched possessively around Cas’ fingers. "I want to be your mate." He stated clearly and watched how Cas’ eyes widened. "I know it won’t work the same because I’m human but I still want your bite on me. You and me, we’ll know what it means."

"You don’t want me for a mate, Dean." Cas said then and Dean felt icy dread in the pit of his stomach.

"Is it because I’m—?"

"It has nothing to do with you." Cas said in a tone loud enough to shut Dean up. "You would be the perfect mate, I would love nothing else." He grabbed Dean’s ass cheek and used that grip and his fingers still inside Dean to haul him over so that Dean was half-way on top of Cas when the Alpha rested on his back in the nest he had made them. "It’s me that’s not good enough." He said in a strange tone. Forlorn, angry, derisive. Dean wanted to argue all of that but Cas put one hand on the back of Dean’s head, pressing him into the crook of his neck. "Sleep now, Dean." He mumbled and it was a clear command in his Alpha voice even if he didn’t raise it.

So Dean let it be for now, confused but somehow not hurt by the rejection. Instead he wrapped his arms around his Alpha and let sleep take over, content with Cas’ low purr and spicy scent all around him.

  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They raped you.”  
> “They _tried_ to.”

  
  


Dean was on cloud nine and who could fucking blame him? Everything felt so incredibly effortless now that he didn’t have to hide from Cas anymore and the Alpha went out of his way to make Dean feel wanted and comforted every day.

Many things were still the same and Dean loved how none of the good had changed. They still shared a bed, Cas still made breakfast for them, Dean still made dinner for them. They watched TV together, Dean taught Cas to play video games and Cas beat him at Call of Duty. They had Sam and Jess over with Anna tagging along and if the little Beta noticed something had changed between Cas and Dean then she at least didn’t show it. They visited Charlie down at Pet World and she gushed for a whole twenty minutes over Cas, and Cas let her. Suddenly, bringing the Alpha to crowded places like the mall or the Roadhouse felt like no problem at all and Cas seemed happy as long as Dean was happy. They spent the evenings working on Cas’ penmanship and reading and Dean could finally let himself feel properly proud over his extremely smart Alpha.

And every day Cas found new ways to show Dean just how much he wanted the human. It was the little things, like working intimate touches and sexual acts into their mundane everyday chores. Like sharing a shower, like hugging while cooking, like cuddling on the couch. And while the Alpha understood why they couldn’t be intimate while in public he didn’t stop his eyes from wandering and Dean relished in the secret glances.

And then there were the nights where Cas would take his time picking Dean apart, giving it to him good any way Dean wanted and taking him any way the Alpha pleased.

The first time Cas took him from behind Dean came as soon as the Alpha entered him. It might have been because Cas had taken extra time opening Dean up or it might have been because of the expandable, vibrating cockring Dean had bought Cas and that Cas had snapped around Dean’s flushed dick. Either way Dean loved it and he came a second time when Cas came hard inside him.

The first time Dean gave Cas a blow job the Alpha was unable to control his bucking hips and Dean came in his pants just as he was desperately trying to fumble them open. Cas came with a hoarse cry when he felt Dean’s throat constrict around him and yeah, Dean kind of choked himself there for a bit but the astonished look his Alpha gave him made it worth it.

Cas still held off with the mating, though, and said nothing about it when Dean asked him why, save that he wasn’t good enough for Dean. Which of course was ridiculous, Dean still thought it was because he was a human, even if Cas denied that. And round and round those thoughts went. But Dean didn’t let them bother him too much, though. Because Cas was staying with him, sharing his bed, and purring only for Dean and that had to mean something. Dean only brought it up during especially intense sex anyway, unable to resist begging for it in the throes of passion and he knew Cas relished the idea as well.

In fact, Cas seemed to really like it when Dean slipped up and started begging to be bred full of the Alpha’s pups. That always made Cas lose his shit worse than even the rut had and while that always equated in awesome sex it left Dean feeling bad when the afterglow was over and Cas was snoring lightly beside him. Because it was clear that Cas wanted pups, it was what all Weres ultimately wanted, Dean supposed. And that, of all things, was something Dean couldn’t give him. He wondered if Cas knew but was afraid to ask. They hadn’t used a condom once, though, so Dean supposed the Alpha would find out eventually with how not pregnant Dean was bound to get.

True to his word, Benny had started working part-time at Bobby’s Autoshop and it was more fun than Dean had expected. He knew Benny was a great guy but he had kind of thought that maybe his old boyfriend would bring up the offer he had made Dean again. But he didn’t and hanging out with Benny was awesomely smooth once again. Dean was glad for it, even if Meg, Bobby’s receptionist, teased them for how close they seemed. It went as far as Benny telling her that he wasn’t about to kidnap Dean, unless Dean wanted him to. They all laughed about it but Dean wondered in the evenings if Cas could smell Benny on him. Because Benny touched him, no doubt. Benny was a touching kind of guy, slapping someone on the shoulder, high-fiving people, it wasn’t weird to Dean or anyone else but what did Cas think? Dean wondered but didn’t ask. He supposed the possessive growl he got during slow, almost tortuous sex spoke for itself.

About two weeks later Kevin came over again and Dean felt comfortable enough to actually leave the apartment while his Alpha and the enthusiastic kid talked. So he went to the grocery store and shopped for dinner that he later cooked and invited Kevin to stay for. Man, Kevin looked so happy that Dean couldn’t help grinning. And behind Kevin’s back, Cas was looking at Dean with such content adoration that Dean felt his chest swell with pride. He pleased his Alpha and it made Dean happy, however sappy that sounded.

"What did you talk about today, Alpha?" Dean said as they later were cuddled up on the couch.

Dean had always claimed he didn’t like cuddling but the truth was that it was just the word because it sounded stupid. The actual act of cuddling was fucking awesome. Here, on the couch, draped half-way on top of Cas with his head tucked under the Alpha’s chin and the Alpha’s strong arms around him, his fingers gently grooming Dean’s hair… Yeah, there was nothing not to like about this.

"Mating." Cas mumbled and Dean could hear the contentment in the Alpha’s voice. "And how Ferals survive out in the wild. And how we view humans, I suppose."

Dean swallowed. "Did you have a mate?" he asked in a small voice that was small for several reasons. Because what if Cas had? Then what was Dean? A rebound? And, also, last time he had asked questions about Cas’ former pack the Alpha had _really_ not liked it and Dean didn’t want to upset him.

"I didn’t." Cas answered after a long time spent in silence and Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I…" he sighed and Dean’s head lifted with the swell of the Alpha’s chest. "There was this one Beta that I liked the smell of, Hannah. She... Well, everything wasn’t right but hers was the only smell I thought I could stand for the rest of my life. Until I met you."

Dean lifted his head and tried to keep the jealousy out of his eyes when he met Cas’ calm blue pools. "Me?"

Cas quirked his lips. "When you approached me on that first night we met I was confused. I thought there must be another Were around or maybe you owned a Were because I’ve never felt a stronger scent from a human before." He closed his eyes and visibly breathed in. Dean smiled and kept watching Cas’ calm face. "I had to make sure, that was why I scented your neck. And I just… I just knew I had to go with you."

Yeah, Dean was kind of blushing but it was a good blush. "I’m glad you did." He mumbled and felt a little too mushy for his own taste but let that happen as well.

"Me too." Cas agreed and opened his eyes again, smiling wider. "When my pack left me, when even Hannah left, I thought my life was over but what I have now is more than I deserve. _You_ are more than I deserve."

Dean sat up with a frown. He really wanted to be happy that Cas was happy here but his mind got stuck in a loop of _my pack left me_.

Cas didn’t seem bothered by Dean’s mood and just let his hands rest on Dean’s thighs where Dean was all but straddling him. He was still looking up at Dean with these serene eyes and his hands were gently massaging the meat of Dean’s legs. But Dean wouldn’t let himself be distracted now.

"Why would anyone leave you?" he asked in a low voice and saw how Cas’ eyes clouded over a little. "Please tell me, Alpha. I want to know why anyone would hurt you."

Cas’ hands on Dean’s thighs clenched harder and he turned his head to look away. "I won’t tell you."

"Why not?" Dean pressed, not so gently anymore. His hands balled up against Cas’ bare chest but neither of them moved more than that.

"You’ll leave me too." Came the hoarse reply after too fucking long and Dean’s eyebrows scrunched up in hurt anger.

"Why would you say that?" He said in a low, almost dangerous tone and it made Cas look up at him again. Dean had never spoken to him like that so Dean supposed the change was a surprise but he let the Alpha have it. "Do you think I’m some kind of weak-minded fool? I’m a human, Cas, humans do lots of shit. I don’t scare easily."

Cas licked his lips once and met Dean’s angry stare head on. "When I was left alone I wandered for a long time, not welcome back on the lands owned by any of my former pack." He started in a low tone and Dean felt a chill go up his spine but still held his ground, wanting desperately to understand. "I barely had any clothes and no means to hunt for food. A whole night of rain had left me shivering and weak by the road just north of Leavenworth Park. That was where a car full of humans found me." Dean didn’t know where exactly that was but imagined it was somewhere around Tonganoxie. "They saw that I was a Were and they offered to help me." Cas continued and Dean could feel his hands clenching again. "The only humans I had ever met before had been kind to us so I followed them. But I was wrong."

"They attacked you."

Cas nodded slowly. "They took me to a farm house quite a bit north of where they’d found me and they promised me food and shelter but the moment they got me inside they stripped me of my pants and tried to," He shrugged awkwardly where he was still on his back beneath Dean.

"They raped you." Dean’s voice was hard as steel but Cas’ eyes were even harder.

"They _tried_ to." He repeated and Dean’s heart hammered in his chest. "They called me Beta and tossed me around, I was weak and disoriented but as soon as I understood I… They learned pretty quickly that it was a Feral Alpha they had picked up. Someone had a knife and he kept jabbing at me but when you’re in rage you don’t feel much of anything. It was the deepest cut, the one on my side, that made me think clearer and I fled the house before it would go too far. I was too weak and they were too many, it wouldn’t have ended well."

"Did you kill them?" Dean asked and wasn’t surprised when he wasn’t scared at the notion.

Cas’ eyes softened. "I don’t know. I think all of them were still moving when I left but it was dark and difficult to tell. I just ran."

"All the way to the Roadhouse." Dean mumbled and slowly relaxed his fists. "Over the airport?" He asked and saw how Cas had to think hard to understand what Dean was referring to.

"No." He said eventually, just as Dean was preparing to explain it to him. "I know those metal things have more humans and I was sick of humans. But I didn’t really know where I was going so when I ended up in human territory anyway I just gave up. I was exhausted."

"And that’s when I found you?" Dean’s eyes felt watery and he didn’t dare blink or it would probably get worse. "Was that the same night they attacked you?"

"No." Cas quirked his lips at Dean’s confused look. "It took me two days to get this far south."

"With those wounds?" Dean exclaimed and his fingers slid across where Cas had been cut and where basically nothing could be seen now.

"It was worse when I left the house."

And he said it with such a detached voice, as if it was nothing. Dean felt like crying but Cas sat up and hugged Dean closer before he could embarrass himself. They shuffled around so that Cas was leaned against the back of the couch and Dean was straddling his lap. It felt comforting but also stupid because wasn’t Cas the one that had been hurt? Why would Dean need comfort? But he did, and his Alpha of course knew this. Dean could barely think about Cas getting hurt and just remembering back on how Cas had looked that night Dean had taken him in made Dean’s heart hurt. To now learn that it had been worse, that Cas’ wounds had been far more severe and that he had had to tend to them himself while running aimlessly through unknown grounds with no food, clothes, or shelter… It felt like a fucking stab to the heart.

"Why would anyone do that?" Dean mumbled, his face pressed to Cas’ neck, inhaling the spicy scent of his Alpha. "Humans are assholes but why the hell would your pack just abandon you? Please, Alpha."

Dean’s heart was hammering again and he didn’t even know why. Just knew he needed to know why a whole community of Weres would condemn another Were like that.

Cas hugged him tighter. "You…"

"I won’t leave you." Dean bit out in a harsh tone. A sudden thought struck him and he leaned out to meet Cas’ evasive eyes. "Is this why you won’t mate with me? You always say it’s because you’re not good enough, is that what your pack told you? That you’re a bad Alpha?"

"I _am_ a bad Alpha."

Dean snorted derisively. "Bullshit."

"Other Alphas looked down on me because I was too curious, too much like a Beta." Cas’ voice cracked in a way Dean had never heard it before and it made Dean’s heart ache. "My brothers teased me, my father was displeased with me. But I… I am Alpha so he had to give me a pack when I came of age and there were a few that followed with me and I wanted so badly to show that I was good enough. But I wasn’t."

"Yes you are!" Dean stated heatedly. "Why the fuck would you say that?"

"I’m barren!" Cas’ snarl made Dean freeze up more than his words. Cas didn’t snarl like that at Dean but now his eyes were livid like he wanted to scare Dean off. Well fuck that shit.

"Cas—" Dean tried but Cas bared his teeth at him in a warning growl to get him to shut up. It worked but Dean didn’t move from the angered Alpha’s lap and Cas was anyhow grabbing harshly at Dean’s back, making it impossible for him to get up even if he had wanted to.

"Alphas protect the pack, Alphas further the pack." Cas continued and Dean shuddered under the weight of the Were’s Alpha voice. "What good is an Alpha that cannot produce pups? _Tell me!_ "

He roared the last part in Dean’s face and Dean could see the festering wound this had put on the Alpha’s soul. But instead of recoiling, Dean grabbed a tighter hold on Cas’ shoulders, standing his ground by remaining sitting.

"They shouldn’t have left you for that." Dean said steadily and wasn’t surprised by the raw, ugly sound he got in reply.

"They should have killed me." Cas stated with a dead voice and Dean felt cold inside. Was this how Cas felt every day, all day? When he looked so happy and content, was he in reality deep down thinking he didn’t deserve it and that he would be better off dead?

"You don’t want to mate me because you think it’ll make me as foul as you think you are." Dean said in a low tone, more of a question than an actual statement but all Cas did was snort and look away.

"My pack lived well for almost two years." He said, still in that dead voice that made Dean want to smash things. "But two years means a lot of heats for the three Omegas we had and not one of them got pregnant by me. Hester was the only one and that was only _after_ I had allowed Bartholomew to mate her. Before that I was the only one to breed the Omegas. Not one pup in _two_ years. They were right to leave me to join my brother’s pack. Even Hannah."

Dean couldn’t take it anymore so he grabbed Cas’ face and made the Alpha look at him while he spoke. "They shouldn’t have left you." He emphasized slowly and Cas’ eyes flickered with something other than self-hatred. "But I’m glad they did." Dean continued in a steady voice, ignoring the confused hurt that Cas’ face shifted into. "Because if they hadn’t left you to fucking die, _like no family should_ , then you wouldn’t have come to me. And you know what? You fucking saved my life, Cas. Do you hear me?" He gently shook the Alpha’s still confused face. "You saved me from this monotone drill that my life had become. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and if you ever fucking speak of your death again I will end you myself."

A small shimmer of amusement crossed Cas’ eyes and Dean supposed it had to do with the notion of a mere human killing a full-grown Alpha but Dean took whatever he got at this point. He had never been so desperate to convince anyone of anything as he was now, trying to convince Cas that he mattered.

"I cannot bring you pups." Cas murmured and Dean rolled his eyes, releasing the Alpha’s face with a quick peck on his lips.

"I’m a human, dumbass, Weres can’t knock humans up no more than humans can knock Weres up. Our DNA’s different or whatever." Dean smiled when he saw Cas quirking his lips. Maybe Cas hadn’t known that and if that was the case, maybe he didn’t know about human males either. Dean took a deep breath and sat back a little in Cas’ lap, the Alpha’s hands once again resting comfortably on his thighs. "Actually, I was a little afraid to tell you because you get all riled up in a good way when I beg you to breed me but…" Dean sighed and carded a hand through his hair. "Even if you weren’t barren I can’t get pregnant anyhow. No human male have that kind of reproduction system, we’re basically Alphas. Or like Beta males, I suppose."

"But…" Cas frowned in confusion. "But you like what we do?"

Dean grinned and spread his legs to sit more closely, more crotch-to-crotch. "I love it." He emphasized with a slow roll of his hips. "Look, Alpha, you’re shooting blanks and I don’t have a womb, we’re fucking perfect for each other."

Cas continued to look confused for all about two seconds before the biggest and brightest smile Dean had ever seen spread across his face. It was all teeth and gum and wrinkled nose with crow’s feet around the eyes and everything and Dean couldn’t look away. His Alpha was beautiful in his happiness and no one could fucking disagree.

"We _are_ perfect." Cas agreed and grabbed Dean’s hips to encourage another, more intent, roll of their hips.

Dean grinned and leaned in to capture Cas’ lips in a loving kiss that soon turned dirty. Dean moaned wantonly and Cas growled at the sound, his hands pawing at Dean’s sweats, trying to get inside already. It was obvious that the Alpha needed the physical act to really emphasize what they had said and Dean was so down with that.

"Bedroom." He breathed but Cas shook his head.

"Here. Want you now." He all but ripped the sweats and boxers down Dean’s ass and Dean wanted to laugh at the desperation but could only moan at the demanding tone of his Alpha. Fuck yes, _his_ Alpha.

He sat up on his knees and allowed Cas to pull the sweats down more properly but the Alpha wouldn’t let him get off enough to get his clothes off. Instead Cas pushed two fingers inside Dean’s mouth and Dean more than happily sucked on them as Cas’ other hand wrapped around Dean’s quickly hardening dick.

"Gonna fill you." Cas rumbled and Dean keened around his fingers. "Gonna mark you up from inside and make you mine. My Dean. My mate."

Dean felt a jolt of pleasure so sharp his whole body all by jack-knifed at hearing Cas call him mate. It felt so good Dean didn’t know how to fucking handle it beyond moaning and thrusting his dick into Cas’ hand.

"You want that." Cas stated in a growl but Dean could hear the astonishment in his voice too. The Alpha pulled him closer and put his now spit-slick fingers against Dean’s hole. Dean fucking mewled when Cas pushed them inside. "You’re going to be my mate and no one else can touch you. Going to bite you, Dean. Belong to me."

Dean nodded desperately against Cas’ shoulder as he tried relaxing his hole for the Alpha’s fingers. Spit was a horrible substitute for lube but Dean didn’t fucking care. Cas needed this and Dean didn’t want to leave the Alpha’s embrace for one second, lube be damned. It would hurt but Dean relished the thought, needing the pain to ground him because this was really happening. Sometimes it still felt like a dream because how could he be so blessed as to have this gorgeous Alpha all to himself? Surely fate was playing a cruel joke on him.

But the pain at the near-dry intrusion made this seem extremely real and Dean groaned as pleasure spikes shot up his spine together with that delicious pain. His dick was hard and leaking between them, smearing Cas’ stomach and Dean’s T-shirt all the same.

"So beautiful." Cas hummed as he used his other hand to spread Dean’s cheeks even further. Dean arched his back and tried to make himself relax but his thighs were shaking even worse now. "Gonna take care of you." Cas kissed his temple and suddenly Dean found himself flung to the side and on his back, watching Cas as the Alpha hurried into the bedroom and back again. He carried the lube with him and Dean’s chest swelled with unabashed affection.

"I’m sorry." He mumbled, his voice hoarse from arousal. "An Omega would—"

"No Omega has made me feel like you do." Cas said harshly, using his Alpha voice to quiet Dean as he pulled Dean back on his lap, discarding the sweats in the same motion. "You are my mate."

Dean shuddered but couldn’t help grinning cockily because he could barely take all the affection that swam between them. The air felt stuffy with it and it mixed with the heady smell of their arousal to make Dean’s head swim.

"I see no bite on me, Alpha." He teased but was too breathless for the teasing to really bite.

Cas smirked at him and that really fucking amped up Dean’s arousal, seeing the Alpha like that. Confident, strong, fucking gorgeous.

When Cas’ fingers plunged back in they were extremely slick with lube and Dean couldn’t help pushing back on them, a punched out scream ripping from within him. Cas had taken no time at all learning exactly where Dean’s prostate was and now when they did this he poked the prostate with eerily accuracy. Dean fucking loved it. Loved it enough to be fucking himself back against Cas’ fingers in no time.

Their kisses were rough and fast now, the desperation evident in both of them. Cas needed in and Dean needed Cas to know how much he was welcome. Fuck, every time they had sex felt like the first time in the sense that Dean hardly could believe it was happening. But it fucking was. Cas was warm and firm beneath Dean, his growling purr loud in the otherwise silent apartment and Dean was edging closer to the finish by the second.

"Cas." He whined pitifully when all the Alpha did was add another finger. Four fingers were a lot but Cas was big and they usually used the dildo to prepare Dean. But Dean didn’t want that this time and apparently neither did Cas. He was fucking Dean on his fingers and Dean couldn’t help but clenching down on them, hard. "Fuck me, Alpha." He moaned and nibbled along Cas’ jawline. "Want you to pound me hard while you bite me."

"Where." Cas pushed out and Dean was momentarily confused. Where? On the couch, right? In Dean’s gaping hole? But no, Dean realized in the last second; where to bite?

Usually mating bites went on the neck because scents were strongest there and it was easily accessible during sex. Also, it was very visible and recognizable to anyone and that was why Cas was asking, Dean understood suddenly. Cas wanted to mate him but he knew Dean’s society would never condone it. Fuck, Dean was so head over heels for his thoughtful, smart, loving Alpha.

He sat up on his knees again, clenching around Cas’ fingers to hold him in place, and ripped his tee over his head. He clapped his left deltoid, looking determinedly at Cas.

"Here, Alpha." He mumbled in a half-pant. "Bite me here. I can hide it if I have to and I could fool humans into thinking it was just an accidental bite from before we got to know each other. Also," he crouched down in Cas’ lap again, rolling his hips and pressing his lips against the Alpha’s ear as he spoke. "It’s easily accessible so I can touch it and think of you even when we’re apart. And you can reach it with your mouth during sex. Whaddya say?"

Cas growled low and dangerously delicious as he pulled his fingers out of Dean’s ass and pushed down his sweats with his other hand. "I think I zoned out after ‘bite me here’."

Dean chuckled and squirmed around on Cas’ lap until they had managed to align Dean’s sloppy wet hole with Cas’ weeping cock. Cas bumped up a few times before the head caught on Dean’s rim and Dean went down to kiss the Alpha just as Cas started pushing in.

Fucking hell, it was a stretch. Then again, it always was, and Dean loved it because just as the pain from before, this reminded him of what the hell he was actually doing, fucking an Alpha. And it felt so goddamn right Dean was overcome by waves of pleasure and emotions every single time. Cas pushed up slowly even as Dean lowered himself and from the clipped breaths coming from the Alpha Dean suspected Cas loved this just as much as he did.

They started up almost immediately as soon as Cas had buried to the hilt and the pace felt brutal but so _good_. Both of them was desperate but with the talk they had just had everything felt sharper, needier. And Dean realized that no matter how much he wanted Cas to mate him, the Alpha needed it even more.

"Fuck yes, Alpha." Dean pressed out through gritted teeth. "Feels so f-fucking good. Breed me, Alpha."

Cas was snarling now but it was his good snarl, the long drawn growl that was pulled from deep within the Alpha’s chest. Its rumbling vibrated against Dean’s chest and shit, Dean could do nothing but kiss the Were desperately. His own dick was pressed between them and leaking, neglected and aching and somehow that felt so good. The feeling of Cas using Dean for once and not just trying to please Dean first was mind-numbing.

Dean needed Cas to know and Cas needed this to be convinced.

Fuck, the biting moment snuck up on them much faster than Dean would have thought. Cas pumped his hips up in a steady and hard rhythm and Dean did his best to just hold on and press right back, taking Cas as deep as he could. The Alpha was nailing Dean’s prostate and Dean felt as if he was on fire, the need to come so intense.

But then Cas was bending him, forcing Dean to the side and licking at his arm, right where Dean had showed him.

"Need…" Cas panted and started nibbling Dean’s skin with his sharp canines. "Need to bite, Dean. Need, mate, mate you."

"Yes." Dean agreed, humping back against Cas’ rock hard cock and relishing the feeling of the Alpha’s knot swelling slightly as it always did. It felt larger this time and it started catching on Dean’s rim. Dean shuddered. "Bite me. I want to be your mate, Cas."

He could feel Cas’ fangs growing and the Alpha growled on every exhale now, the sound much more animalistic than ever before. Fear gripped Dean’s insides for the first time since he first considered what this would be like. What if it hurt?

Then Cas bit down hard, breaking skin and holding Dean in place as he bit hard enough to leave a scar. It hurt like a bitch.

Dean gripped Cas’ hair in a tight fist and screamed in actual agony because holy fucking shit, that _hurt_. The air was punched out of him and his brain was in a chaos trying to decide whether it felt like being beaten or cut. His stomach felt icy cold and his erection waned but he stayed in place, holding Cas’ head to him and letting Cas pound into him as he came hard, filling his mate with his seed.

Dean breathed hard through his teeth, trying to ride out the pain as gracefully as possible. He knew very well from all the Were books he had been reading lately that while this hurt Weres as well it was more of a pleasurable pain to them. Plus, all Weres had better natural healing than humans so there was that too. He thought it best not to mention this to Cas, however, because the Alpha was purring contentedly while licking his mark on Dean, cleaning it from blood and Dean thought he had read somewhere that an Alpha’s spit contained a lot of good stuff for healing, which was why they were tougher than other Weres. Of course, he hadn’t read that in a book but rather in an article about Alphas in a People’s Magazine so he didn’t know if it was bullshit or not. And he certainly didn’t know if whatever healing bacteria, or whatever, that supposedly was in there would work on humans.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked after a while when he seemed to come out of his haze and realized that Dean hadn’t come.

"Y-yeah." Dean answered and hated that his voice cracked because he _was_ fine. He met the Alpha’s concerned eyes and smiled a wobbly smile. "It hurt a little but it’s okay."

Cas’ eyebrows knitted in worry. "You didn’t like it." He stated and looked at the wound — no, mating bite — where a red flush had spread down Dean’s arm.

Dean suspected it would bruise something fierce and wound hurt like a bitch healing. He wondered if he should put something antiseptic on it but immediately decided against it because that was what the Alpha’s spit was for, right? Besides, you didn’t stitch and put antiseptic shit on _every_ wound you got. Dead decided to just waste some good old whisky on it and let it be for a day or two, give it a chance to heal on its own.

"It’s fine, Alpha." Dean said with a much steadier smile. "I knew it would hurt me more than it would a Were."

Cas didn’t seemed placated by that, as if it hurting would normally mean that the Weres weren’t compatible, which Dean really didn’t think was the case.

"I can’t see you hurt." Cas mumbled and brushed his thumb over the bite. And yeah, that kind of felt like being fucking punched alright but Dean just put his hand over Cas’, holding it against his arm.

"Does this mean we’re mated now, Alpha?" he asked even though he knew it did. Traditionally Dean should have bitten Cas too but it was ultimately the Alpha’s bite that was the most important.

"Yes." Cas answered evenly and met Dean’s eyes. Dean smiled.

"And are you going to take me to our bedroom and blow me to compensate for my interrupted orgasm?"

Cas blinked and then a sly smile spread across his handsome face. "Yes."

Dean leaned in and brushed his lips against the Alpha’s, grinning like a fool. "Then I love it, Alpha."

Cas growled playfully and captured Dean’s lips in a possessive kiss, their first kiss as mates. Dean couldn’t stop fucking grinning all the way to the bedroom and even after. That night Dean slept on his right side, his left arm in a bandage for now, and his purring mate wrapped around him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ, I can’t _believe_ it took them over 80K words to get here… Thank you all for sticking to it! Stay tuned for the next chapter involving jealousy, Meg, and Benny, not necessarily in that order  <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean reaches an important conclusion

  
  


Two days after their mating Dean’s arm felt much better, which was good because he had to go to work again.

The bite had healed quite nicely and even though Dean took care to clean it every morning and evening he started thinking that that bullshit about an Alpha’s spit might not actually be such bullshit. The bite had already closed and the skin was a pink shade and smoother than the skin around it, much like a knife wound would look like. The skin around, however, was a muddy blueish green color, just like a bruise, and it was extremely tender to the touch. Even so, Dean could see it going more yellowish at the edges and he suspected that a week or two from now there would only remain the scar after Cas’ teeth.

Dean loved everything about the bite; the look, the pain, the meaning. And he loved it even more for what it did to Cas every time the Alpha caught sight of it. Because Cas reacted by either going all gooey and dopey eyed or by pouncing on Dean, aroused enough to take Dean on the kitchen table with only olive oil as lube. Dean never knew which one to expect but he loved both reactions so he had taken to walking around in a white wife beater when they were inside the apartment. He hated how he needed to cover it up when they went outside but it was still too ugly and big to not be noticed immediately. If Dean wanted to pass this up as something that had happened between them just as Cas had moved in then it should look completely healed before he let anyone see it.

So just to be sure he put a bandage on and hoped no one would see that and ask. He wasn’t too concerned, though, because at work he wore both a t-shirt and a coverall and he usually showered at home unlike Garth and Rufus who had longer to drive.

He was just brushing his teeth when Cas snuck up on him and put his arms around Dean’s waist, breathing in deeply against Dean’s neck. He smiled with the toothbrush still in his mouth, drooling paste down his chin and Cas quirked his lips at him.

"I want to come with you today."

Dean raised his eyebrows and spit before he answered. "Sure." He said, not realizing how excited he would feel by the idea before it was brought up. "But you’ll have a terrible time, I’ll be working all day." He warned mildly, already imagining Cas in there with him as he bent over the engine of a greasy car. Maybe the Alpha would press up against him, let Dean feel his fat cock against his ass and…

Dean shook his head at himself. Not everything had to be sexual, right? Dean almost snorted. _Right._

"But I’ll be where you are. I’ll see you."

Dean turned around in the Alpha’s arms and pecked him on the lips. "Of course, Alpha." He said and rubbed their noses together in the most sickeningly sweet scene he had ever shared with another person. Man, Cas was really bringing it out of Dean.

But Cas seemed to like it because he purred and kissed Dean back before he went to their bedroom to get dressed. Dean watched him go and put a hand on his deltoid, right over the bite. It hurt when he put pressure on it but he liked to do it anyway, to remember it. To remember what they had shared that night and the rapture on Cas’ face as he came inside Dean with his teeth clamped securely around Dean’s flesh. He wished he could return the gesture but knew he couldn’t bite like that and also knew that whatever he would manage would never scar like it was supposed to.

And besides, Dean wasn’t a Were. A bite from him wouldn’t mean the same thing even if Dean desperately wished it would. Because here he was, happily mated to Cas and yet he felt as if he hadn’t given the Alpha everything of him. He wanted a gesture to make the Were really understand but couldn’t think of the appropriate one.

  


"I might not be comfortable with having you in the workshop." Dean muttered as they drove north along Kentucky Street on their way to Bobby’s Autoshop. Cas gave his questioning grunt and Dean rolled his eyes. "Don’t give me that. I told you a workshop is no place to be barefoot."

"I don’t like shoes."

"And I don’t like your feet all cut up." Dean countered and looked at Cas with soft eyes when the Were just inspected his own feet, obviously finding them perfectly fine. "I have an old pair of boots in my locker at work, promise me you’ll wear them if you’re going out to the cars."

"Will you be by the cars?"

"Yeah." Dean smiled at the Alpha’s honestly wondering eyes. "It’s my job. I fix broken cars." _And do mundane maintenance shit and lots of boring crap._ Didn’t need to say that out loud, though. Cas was looking impressed enough that Dean couldn’t help puff out his chest a little so he left it at that.

Bobby seemed happy to see Cas again and Dean didn’t even need to explain that Bobby was Alpha here same as at his house; Cas just seemed to accept the old man as the head of the household anyway. Maybe it was because he wanted to please his mate or because he truly respected Bobby, Dean didn’t know but he was happy all the same.

So they took a few minutes in the morning to talk to Bobby to make sure he was okay with Cas tagging along all day and Bobby just shook his head, not understanding why Dean thought he would have to ask. Still, this was a fairly unfamiliar Alpha and not everyone could be expected to trust Cas as easily as Dean had. Maybe he had because he had felt the unspoken bond between them, it was hard to tell and it wasn’t like he could voice that notion to anyone so he didn’t say anything. He did walk Cas around the Autoshop, though, taking care to properly introduce the Alpha to everyone and Cas got along with them all as he usually did with new people.

Today was Rufus’ day off so it was only Dean and Garth in the workshop, Meg as usual manning the reception and Bobby in his office for the day, working on the administrative share of the workload, which he hated but his old body thanked him for.

Garth was as enthusiastic as ever to finally meet Cas and he chatted happily with the Alpha after Cas had scented everyone and found them to his liking. Garth took to showing Cas around a little as Dean slipped into his coveralls and when Dean joined them again Meg was talking to Cas as well. Dean smiled and had to stop himself in the last moment before bending over and kissing Cas on the cheek. The Alpha quirked his lips at Dean as if he knew, the bastard, and Dean made a face at him.

"So are you gonna be good and wear the boots for me?" Dean asked in a teasing tone and Cas snorted.

"I refuse."

"Well then, Mr. McStubborn." Dean grinned and tapped Cas on the shoulder. "Then you stay here with Meg all day, I’m _not_ letting you out there barefoot."

Cas looked torn for a moment but then squared his jaw, his eyes sparkling in that way that meant he was laughing on the inside. "I will stay here."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Great, you have fun with _Meg_." Dean said, making it sound as if that would be a horrible way to spend one’s time.

"Hey!" Meg exclaimed and slapped him on the shoulder. "Let’s go handsome." She said to Cas and hooked her arm in his, getting awfully close to an unknown Alpha. A little too close to Dean’s liking, actually. And to make matters worse, Cas just walked after her, quirking his lips at Dean.

"Your Alpha’s sassy." Garth piped up happily. "I like him."

"Everybody does." Dean mumbled and watched with a squint how Cas settled down on the chair Meg brought him so that he could sit beside her and watch her work. "Show me what we’ve got today."

Garth nodded and gestured for Dean to follow and boy, it turned out they had quite a lot to do. And none of it was fun either, just run of the mill maintenance. It was boring and repetitive and unfortunately gave Dean too much time to look over at Cas and Meg through the window that separated the reception and the workshop.

Dean didn’t get what Cas’ hatred against shoes was about but he was really regretting enforcing his own stupid rule right now. Because wasn’t Cas supposed to be out here, by the cars, watching _Dean_ work? Wasn’t that the whole point of him coming to work today? Because he would miss Dean and wanted to see what he did all day long? They were fucking mated, weren’t they?

Dean huffed at himself. So okay, they were mated. Didn’t mean they had to be joined at the hip, though, did it? In fact, Dean was pretty sure he would feel suffocated rather quickly if Cas kept following him around all the time. Didn’t mean the Alpha had to cozy up with Meg, though…

During lunch they all sat around the small table in the back of the reception, shielded from sight from the outside by a big plastic plant that Dean thought resembled a palm tree and had no business standing in an Autoshop in Kansas.

Cas rose to meet Dean as soon as he and Garth walked in to join the other three, interrupting Meg mid-sentence, to Dean’s immense satisfaction. He could see on the Alpha’s face that Cas longed to kiss him or at least hold him and it pained Dean that they just couldn’t. Maybe his friends and family loved Dean enough to not condemn them because of this but did he want to risk it? And would it really matter when the rest of society would never agree to a union between a Were and a human? There would always be moments where they would be looked upon with scorn and Dean would rather it didn’t come from the people he loved.

Even so, he grabbed Cas’ hand and used the pretense of playfully smearing Cas with grease to get the skin-to-skin contact they both needed. Cas made an indignant sound and raised his hand to scent the grease before poking out his tongue. Dean just slapped the Alpha’s hand away before he could taste it and he could feel the whole room stiffen when he acted so brashly towards an Alpha but Cas didn’t get angry because of course not. He just looked attentively at Dean as Dean explained that oil grease wasn’t for eating.

They went back to work after the lunch break was over and their stomachs were full and Dean felt certain he had nothing to worry about, because honestly, he had just been stupid and he knew it. Cas was his mate, his Alpha, and he would not leave Dean. Dean was grinning to himself so much that even Garth, the happiest man Dean knew, wondered what was up.

Benny came in during the afternoon after Bobby called him over to help Dean and Garth out and Dean knew the exact moment his friend entered the Autoshop. He couldn’t see the entrance from where he was, standing over an old Sedan, but he could see Meg and Cas clearly and the Alpha perked up all of a sudden. He turned his head away from Meg, who was still talking as if she couldn’t see that his attention had shifted, and looked directly in the direction of the entrance. From his squared shoulders and tight jaw Dean could only guess that Cas wasn’t liking what he was seeing and so far there had only been one person he hadn’t liked.

So Dean was already grinning when Benny opened the door to the workshop and joined him and Garth.

"Hey, brother." Benny said and slapped Dean on the shoulder. "Brought your guard dog today, did you?"

Dean knew his friend was only joking and probably trying to lighten the mood while still feeling Cas’ icy stare at the back of his head but Dean didn’t like Cas being referred to like that. Still, there was nothing malicious in Benny’s eyes and he was honestly looking a little nervous.

Dean shrugged casually. "He wanted to come. I think he’s bored at home, I don’t like leaving him."

Benny nodded just as Garth joined them. "Maybe Sam could watch him sometimes?" he suggested and Dean bobbed his head noncommittally.

"I haven’t gotten around to ask him but yeah, maybe."

"I like having him here." Garth piped up and Dean saw Benny glancing at Cas.

"Well, at least no one’s gonna make trouble for Meg." He said and then followed Garth to be shown what needed to be done.

Dean smiled to himself. It was obvious that Benny didn’t trust the Were not to jump him and Dean really couldn’t blame him either, not with how Cas had been acting around him. Dean didn’t get it, though. Benny was one of the kindest men Dean knew, he would never hurt Dean or anyone else. Maybe Cas really saw him as a potential rival. What had happened between Dean and Benny in Bobby’s house had after all kind of been the trigger that made Cas and Dean reveal their actual fucking feelings. And Dean was suspecting that Cas was scenting Benny off him sometimes, which _had_ sometimes amped up the sex. Dean grinned. Maybe Cas was a little jealous and possessive, more so when Benny was around. Dean liked that thought.

As the rest of the day wore on Benny gradually relaxed even if Cas didn’t and Dean liked it, liked having the roles reversed. Because now it was Cas that was staring out through the window, gritting his teeth every time Benny got too close to Dean. And Benny did that a lot, mainly because they ended up working on the same car but also because he was in a good mood. He was telling Dean about his gator farm and about the woman he was starting it with, Andrea. He was talking about her like she was a love interest and Dean teased him about it, making the big bear of a man blush like a school girl, much to Garth’s amusement.

So they were having a jovial time, Benny just brushing up against Dean now and then and Dean thought nothing of it because that was how it had always been.

He was bent over the engine of the last car, only he and Benny left in the workshop, when Cas finally snapped. It wasn’t Dean’s bending over per se, but rather that when Dean gestured behind himself for the wrench he needed, Benny didn’t simply hand it to him, he bent over as well to look at what Dean wanted to do, which brought his crotch right up against Dean’s ass.

They pressed together for a moment, Benny holding the tube out of the way as Dean loosened the bolt and then suddenly Benny’s warmth was gone and Dean heard a hauntingly familiar growl coming from behind him. He straightened and just as he turned he saw Cas releasing his hold on Benny’s neck, the bigger man backing away with his hands up in surrender. Cas was baring his teeth and following Benny.

"Alpha." Dean said calmingly but Cas was raising his hackles. Fuck. Dean was just glad Garth was already in the shower and that Meg’s shift had ended a whole hour ago.

"No harm, Alpha." Benny mumbled and jerked when his back hit the car next to the one they had been working on.

Cas got up in his face and his nostrils flared as he no doubt scented fear on Benny. Dean moved closer as silently as he could.

"You do not touch. He is not yours." Cas hissed and Dean saw Benny gulp. " _Not_ yours."

Benny’s eyes softened but he didn’t put his hands down. "I know, Alpha." He mumbled and it made Dean halt in his step. "I lost him long ago, I wasn’t enough. He’s not mine."

Cas huffed in Benny’s face, glaring at the taller man and Dean couldn’t help the arousal that thrummed through him, mixing deliciously with the anxiousness. Cas looked fucking hot putting a larger man in his place so easily.

Dean walked up to them and took a gentle hold on Cas, turning the Alpha so that he could put his nose to Dean’s neck and scent him while still looking at Benny. Cas relaxed almost immediately and Dean heard Benny breathe a sigh of relief.

"Alpha." Dean said in a mildly scolding tone. "Benny is my friend, I told you." Cas growled lowly and defiantly grabbed at Dean’s sides. "No, friend." Dean corrected and he turned them so that he could face Benny instead. "I’m sorry, man." He said in a tone that suggested he didn’t know what this was about but one look in Benny’s eyes told him the man had probably already understood. And why wouldn’t he, what with Cas saying stuff like that to him?

"Don’t be sorry, brother." Benny said with a smile that was too sad for Dean’s liking. "I meant what I said to him, I did lose. I don’t mean to come between you two."

Dean opened his mouth to protest but realized it was useless with what had just passed between the three of them. "Thank you for not hating me." He mumbled and Benny shook his head fondly.

"I can’t hate love." He said with a crooked smile and Cas must have been listening because he only relaxed fully at hearing that. "It’s a little weird, maybe. I dunno." He chuckled and Dean couldn’t help grinning at him, carding his hand through Cas’ hair. "But you know what, Dean? It wasn’t so long ago sleeping with another man was weird too. Someone’s gotta be the first, don’t they?"

Dean shook his head fondly. "You always were the liberal."

Benny grinned widely at him. "Take your Alpha and go home, cher. I’ll finish up here."

"Tell Bobby we had an emergency."

Benny snorted and walked a wide circle around the two of them but Cas had already stopped growling, even if he tracked Benny with his eyes. "I’ll tell Bobby you got tired of working on piece of shit cars like this, he’ll understand."

Dean walked over to the car, keeping Cas close on his left side. The bite hurt but he let Cas clamp his hand over it all the same, drawing strength from the pain.

"Thank you, Benny." He said again, putting a hand on the other man’s arm and Benny looked like he wanted to hug Dean but didn’t dare because of Cas. So Dean just smiled at him and left with Cas in tow, the Alpha still glaring at Benny.

Well in the car Dean leaned back and breathed in deeply, trying to gather his wits.

"You shouldn’t have done that, Alpha." He scolded mildly and when he looked over at the Were Cas was gnawing his lower lip, his head tilted to the side.

"I know." Cas conceded and Dean blinked at him in surprise. "You told me not to go in there without shoes but I did anyway. I’m sorry."

Dean glanced down at the Alpha’s feet but there was no blood on the floor of the car and he couldn’t remember there being anything particularly sharp on the workshop floor so maybe he had exaggerated the danger there a little. Still, the Alpha’s honestly contrite face made Dean smile.

"I didn’t mean that, Cas." He said and put a hand over the one Cas had resting on the seat between them. "You shouldn’t have attacked Benny."

That made Cas darken considerably. "He was touching you."

"Lots of people touch me." Dean exclaimed and turned more bodily to the Were. "Tell me what this is about, I like your possessiveness but give me a chance to understand."

Cas snorted and wouldn’t meet Dean’s eyes. "I know other people touch you, I can smell them on you. But not all of them touch you with that intent and as of yet no one has had that kind of past with you."

"Intent…?" Dean frowned in confusion. "Do you mean sex? You can smell on me that Benny has touched me with sexual intent?"

Cas bared his teeth in frustration at his own inability to explain it properly. "I smelled that man on you, when you went out to drink and came home reeking of alcohol. That was sexual intent." Dean blushed at the memory but didn’t interrupted. "It made me mad but you and I, we were nothing back then so I had no right." Cas gritted his teeth and turned to meet Dean’s eyes, his blue almost black in his anger. "And I smelled Benny’s intent all over you that day I found you two together. And now, after what I saw and after what you told me about him, all I can think of when I smell him on you is just that. Him taking you. And now he can’t, Dean, he can’t because you’re _mine_."

Dean watched the Alpha with soft eyes and a fond smile on his lips. "I _am_ yours. And Benny knows that too, he told you so himself, didn’t he? You don’t have to worry, little Alpha, we’re mated now, I’m only yours." He was talking in a soothing tone but as he spoke he started to get that feeling in his stomach again, the feeling that a mating bite on one end wasn’t really enough.

"I’m sorry I hurt your friend." Cas suddenly mumbled and Dean realized he had spaced out for a moment there. "I wasn’t thinking. All I saw was another man pressing up against my mate and I…" he huffed and looked down.

Dean smiled because Cas did see Benny as a rival after all and that was actually kind of cute. But it still wasn’t right that he felt like that. He should feel as safe as he made Dean feel. Because while Dean had been jealous of how Meg had stolen Cas’ attention for a while there he still had the mating that bonded Cas to him. Not even another Were could steal him away now.

And Dean thought he finally knew what he could do to make Cas feel equally bonded.

"You didn’t hurt him, you just scared him. It was fucking hot, to be honest." He grinned at Cas when the Alpha looked confused. "I told you, I like you possessive." He started up the car and tore out of the parking lot while Cas was still frowning. "Now we’re gonna go home and clean up, have awesome sex and then have pizza for dinner and tomorrow after work I’m gonna take you somewhere."

"Where?" Cas asked when Dean decided to not finish that sentence properly.

He grinned to himself, feeling all fluttery at the mere thought. "Gonna take you to buy you something that’ll prove you’re mine." He saw the Alpha finger his collar and Dean shook his head. "Something better, Alpha. Something for my mate only."

Cas quirked his lips at that and nodded slowly. "Then I will wait until tomorrow." He said and suddenly grinned lecherously. "Or maybe I will try to force it out of you in bed."

Dean gulped and couldn’t help closing his legs momentarily, feeling his dick tingle at the mere mention of Cas edging him.

"You can try." He conceded with flushed cheeks and relished in the approving growl he got in answer.

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Hellodarling2 who guessed jewelry :D

  
  


Dean took Cas to one of the jewelry stores up on Massachusetts Street because he knew they had good stuff that wasn’t too pricy. He had been in there before with Sam, buying gifts for both Ellen and Jess and the salespeople were always very nice. Still, buying something for Cas was an entirely different ballpark.

He had considered the pawn shop down on Iowa but decided against it almost immediately. Sure, he could be able to find some really nice stuff there for a much cheaper sum than in a jewelry store but he felt like this needed to be something no one else had worn. What he wanted to buy for the Alpha needed to be Cas’, and Cas’ alone.

"Now," Dean cleared his throat as he parked outside the store. "I’m gonna buy you something that I want you to wear all the time." He turned to look at Cas who was looking back at Dean with the same attentiveness he always gave him. Dean felt warm and he pulled at the collar of his shirt. "Unlike the collar it’s not a sign of ownership but a sign of unity, do you understand?"

Cas tilted his head to the side and reached over to brush his fingers over Dean’s arm, right where the still aching mating bite was on his other arm. Dean smiled and leaned into the touch.

"That’s right." he mumbled. "It’s the human version of a bite, would you want that?"

Cas purred. "Yes, Dean." He quirked his lips and Dean’s stomach felt all fluttery.

"And, you know, it’s not _that_ strange for an owner to buy their Were jewelry but, I dunno, I think that feels more like a chick thing. Like Jess would buy something for Anna, you know?" By Cas’ blank stare Dean could tell he totally didn’t know. Dean huffed out a small smile. "I’m gonna lie to the people in that store, could you just please go along with everything I say?"

"Of course, Dean." Cas said with a new quirk of his lips, almost as if he thought Dean’s antics were funny. Dean didn’t mind, he was just happy Cas wasn’t being difficult. He really wanted to do this for his Were but he desperately needed to not draw attention to it.

"Great, let’s go."

The air inside the store was crisp the way it only got when a really nice air conditioner was in the workings and it was a welcome change to the unexpected heat outside. Cas looked around and scented the air, obviously perplexed at the abrupt climate change and Dean smiled to himself as they walked up to the counter.

A pretty brunette was standing behind it, arranging earrings on a pillow, and she looked up when they approached, a sparkling smile on her lips.

"Can I help you?" she asked and her voice was gentle and honest. Dean felt immediately calmed. Yes, this was the right decision. He had felt it that was yesterday after what had happened with Benny but he had laid awake most of the night thinking it over. A mating bite was much more permanent but he wanted to make a human gesture in turn and this felt like the obvious choice.

"Yes." He said after she had acknowledged Cas’ Alpha status and let him scent her. Not all store owners did this, mainly because not everyone a Were met was required to be scented first. Usually the scenting thing was reserved for people the Were would meet at more regular intervals. Still, Dean really appreciated that she allowed it. Felt respectful and if any Were deserved respect it was his Alpha, damnit.

She nodded at Dean’s answer and put the pillow away below the counter before smiling at the both of them. "Well then, gentlemen, tell me what you’re after."

"Well," Dean read the name tag. "Lisa." He smiled back and saw her cheeks color a pretty pink even under her make-up. Dean half excepted Cas to react to that because he knew what his smile could do to women and men alike but the Alpha seemed more interested in the revolving showcases. "I’m looking to buy my male friend a ring and I… Well I want it to be nice but I don’t have a big budget."

He felt awkward admitting the last part out loud because he wanted to buy Cas the whole fucking store but even though Bobby was paying him well he was still feeding two with his salary.

Lisa didn’t bat an eye, though. No, she just kept smiling, bless her heart, and indicated for them to follow her. "We have a lovely assortment of discount jewelry over here." She said and unlocked a cabin to pull out a pillow with quite a few rings pinned to it. "These are our male ring collection but of course," she picked up another pillow as well and walked them back to the counter. "I’ve always felt that it’s stupid to separate one’s jewelry preference based on gender." She put the two pillows down on the counter and Dean could clearly see that the other pillow had more feminine styles but he understood what she meant. "These are all our discount rings." She smiled and Dean bent down to look closer at them. "Do you know your friend’s size?"

"No." Dean mumbled and fingered a gold ring with some kind of leaf design in what looked like silver maybe? Dean was really uncertain of everything on the two pillows. "But that’s why I brought my Alpha." He turned and gestured Cas over when the Alpha immediately turned at Dean’s words. Cas walked over obediently and looked at the rings as well. "He has roughly the same size as my friend." Dean explained and knew the lie was extremely thin and a little ridiculous but Lisa didn’t question it one bit.

"How handy." Was all she said but Dean could see her smile grow a little. So maybe he wasn’t the first person to come in here that wanted to buy jewelry for his Were but didn’t dare admit it. That actually felt a little better. "Have you decided on a material?" she asked then and Dean looked down at the rings again.

"Not really." He admitted with a little sigh. "What do you think, Alpha?"

Cas really went out of his way to inspect each and every ring as if he truly understood how important this was. He even went over the more feminine ones, making no distinction between the two pillows because why would he? Lisa actually laughed a little at the Alpha’s serious face and whenever he looked a little confused she started explaining the design or material.

Dean felt his chest fill with warmth at seeing Cas like this. It felt so right to be picking out rings with Cas that he couldn’t even begin to start describing it. He had never thought he would be a relationship kind of guy, not with how it hadn’t worked out with Benny, but this here was proof enough for him. Absentmindedly he touched his arm, kneading the sore flesh to feel the pain of the bite. He would miss that pain when the arm healed, he realized now. Would miss the immediate reminder. But still, the scar was there to stay and Dean could only hope that Cas understood the meaning of the ring Dean was buying him.

Then Cas was down to two rings, both of which looked like silver to Dean but that Lisa explained was one silver and one tungsten. Dean didn’t know what the hell that was but Cas was looking closely at the tungsten one so Dean bent in to look at it too. It had a simple design with the edges cut down at a smooth angle and the center of the ring polished in a duller finish.

"This one." Cas said just as Dean was about to ask.

Lisa smiled. "Well, you try it on and we’ll hope it fits. Because it’s tungsten you can’t get it resized but it’s also a very good and sturdy material, if your friend does a lot of manual laboring for example."

"I dunno about that." Dean mumbled and watched how Cas was holding the ring gently. "Try it on your right ring finger." He said and smiled when Cas blinked in confusion at him. He reached out and took the Alpha’s hand and the ring, fitting it effortlessly on Cas’ finger. A small thrill went through him at the obvious gesture, even if it technically was the wrong finger.

"Perfect fit?" Lisa asked with a surprised but happy smile. "Try shaking your hand, Alpha." She suggested and Cas followed suit, shaking his hand both gently and sharply, and the ring stayed on. Cas made a pleased sound that made Lisa smile wider. "Great. Now, when you try to remove it you should have to screw it off, that way we’ll know that it comes off easily enough but is still tight enough not to fall off."

Dean had to show Cas that too but he didn’t mind. Cas’ fingers were warm and surprisingly smooth for a Were and Dean kind of wanted to pretend to have trouble removing the ring to have an excuse to hold Cas’ hand longer. But that wouldn’t do, of course, so he just pulled off the ring and grinned at Cas who quirked his lips in response.

"You like it?" Dean asked in a voice much too intimate for company but he couldn’t help himself. Cas grunted in answer, low enough for it to almost be a purr and Dean’s chest swelled. "Awesome." He turned to Lisa who had just been standing there, respectfully silent. "Isn’t tungsten the material that can’t be cut off in an emergency, though?"

She shook her head and pointed to two rings on the corner of the male selection’s pillow. "It’s titanium you’re thinking about. Tungsten is perfectly fine, also very durable and priceworthy."

"Then we’ll take it."

"Great." She accepted the ring when he handed it to her. "Let me just polish it for you, do you want me to put it in a box?"

"Please." He smiled his most charming smile and she smiled back before disappearing through a door behind the counter.

Cas was smiling to himself when Dean turned to the Alpha and Dean couldn’t resist reaching out and taking a gentle hold on Cas’ hand, thumbing his ring finger. It was late enough in the evening that they were alone in the store anyway and Lisa seemed to be the only worker left for the day.

"It looked good on you, Alpha." He mumbled and Cas purred in response, low enough so that no one else would hear but loud enough to fill Dean’s ears with the smooth sound.

Lisa came out a couple of minutes later and showed them the ring. It was definitely shining more and Dean loved how Cas’ eyes sparkled at the sight. Yeah, he was starting to think that Cas understood completely what this was about.

So he let Lisa put it in the box she had brought and then he promptly pocketed the box before paying and bidding her good day, thanking for her help. Lisa smiled at the two of them and waved when Cas turned in the door, making the Alpha wave back with a quirk of his lips, before he slipped out with Dean.

Well in the car Cas turned to Dean but Dean didn’t bring out the box yet. No, he just started up the car and started driving home, whistling to himself. Cas made a questioning grunt and Dean smirked to himself. It was obvious that the Alpha wanted the ring now and wanted to know what was going on but Dean liked to string him along for a bit, playing with the Alpha’s patience. He wanted to do this as right as he could and just handing the ring over in the car was _not_ the right way to go about this.

Cas didn’t say anything more, though, but just kept squinting at Dean the whole way home, as if trying to figure out what the game was. He had patience, Dean gave him that and relished in the scrutinizing eyes that roamed his face for clues.

As soon as they got back home Dean walked into the living room, Cas of course in tow.

"Please sit down, Alpha." Dean said and indicated the couch where Cas sat down slowly, still with his eyes locked on Dean.

Man, Dean was actually getting a little nervous. He had never done this and had never thought he would be doing it either and yet here he was, going down on one knee like a fucking chump. He cleared his throat and patted Cas’ knee to get the Alpha to stay sitting on the couch when Cas indicated that he was about to kneel down with Dean.

"Now," Dean smiled and pulled out the box with the ring in it, holding it securely in his hand. "What I’m about to give you is the human version of a mating bite, okay?" Cas said nothing to that but Dean drew strength from his calm eyes. "Just like a mating bite, it’s a sign of belonging and unity and both parts in a relationship should have one. But we’re not a regular couple, are we?" He grinned and saw to his relief that Cas’ lips quirked. Fuck, Dean was getting more and more nervous despite Cas showing every indication of liking where this was headed. "You bit me to show that I belong to you and I’d like to put a ring on your finger to show that you belong to me. I know we didn’t put the bite in the traditional spot and I’m thinking that we’ll put the ring on the right hand, unlike the tradition because, well, no one would ask for one. And," He took a deep breath, feeling incredibly stupid but needing to say this. "If you have the ring on your right hand you can put it over my mating bite when we’re mating face to face and… and it’ll feel like, I dunno…"

Cas cut off his embarrassing rambling by cupping Dean’s chin gently. "I would love it." He rumbled and Dean felt light enough to float away if it hadn’t been for Cas’ hand on him.

He looked down and opened the box, holding it up for Cas to see the ring he had picked out himself. "What do you say, Cas? Will you accept my ring and make our mating complete? One half Were and one half human. Let me mark you too?"

Cas’ blue eyes shifted from Dean’s face to the ring in the box and his features softened considerably. And if Dean had thought it would be weird to buy a Were jewelry or if he had thought a proud Alpha would never accept something as stupid as a human tradition, then Dean was proven extremely wrong. Because Cas just let out a content exhale and plucked the ring from the box, gently putting it on his right ring finger and looking down at it as if his hand was finally complete.

"This is your ring." He stated and continued before Dean could correct him. "This is your ring on me, just like it’s my bite on you."

Dean grinned when he understood. "Yeah." He answered and sat down on both knees between Cas’ open legs, scooting in closer. "Humans have big wedding ceremonies and shit and we can’t do that properly but the ring represents it good enough. Now we’re mated like humans too."

Well, not really, of course. But then again, their mating wasn’t really Were-approved either. Still, that restlessness that Dean had been feeling in the pit of his stomach slowly dissipated the more he watched the ring on Cas. It felt so fucking complete that Dean wanted to weep with relief.

"What am I?" Cas asked suddenly and Dean frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I bit you, you’re my mate." Cas stated and held up his right hand, brandishing the ring. "You put a ring on me, what does that make me?"

"Oh." Dean said and felt a blush spreading over his face. What was Cas in _human_ terms? "H-husband." Dean coughed. "You’d be my husband."

Fuck, that felt almost embarrassing to say out loud but also so _good_. Cas was his _husband_ , lacking wedding ceremony be damned. Dean slotted himself completely between Cas’ legs and balled his hands in Cas’ T-shirt, pulling the Alpha closer.

And Cas went willingly, gently fisting the hair at the back of Dean’s head.

"Husband." Cas agreed in a low purr and Dean shuddered.

They gravitated towards each other and Dean could feel the heat and want between them like a palpable thing. Like something that seeped into his every pore and filled him up to such an extent that he could barely breathe, didn’t want to breathe. He wanted to be Cas’ and nothing else.

And then his Alpha was kissing him, slow and loving and much too much for Dean not to break down. He made a chocked off little sound at the back of his throat and found himself being pulled up into Cas’ lap. He scrambled to keep up with the Alpha’s demanding hands and he landed ungracefully on top of Cas, their kissing sloppy and perfect.

"Fuck, Alpha." Dean mumbled in a desperate tone and Cas responded with an encouraging growl. "Feels so fucking food. Everything with you feels so good."

"Mate." Cas rumbled and turned them so that Dean stretched out on his back on the couch, Cas hovering above him. "My mate."

"Yes." Dean agreed in a hiss as Cas leaned down to mouth at Dean’s neck and then lower. Clavicle, chest, stomach. Dean’s T-shirt got pushed out of the way and Cas was fingering Dean’s nipples just as he bit down gently on Dean’s twitching hip.

Dean arched his back and carded a hand through Cas’ hair. He could feel his dick already hardening and wasn’t the least surprised. Cas always had this effect on him and no matter how much he loved it, the Alpha seemed to love it more.

Cas was nosing along Dean’s crotch now, breathing in deeply and Dean couldn’t help bucking up. He moaned brokenly when Cas grabbed Dean’s hips and he saw the ring gleaming on the Alpha’s finger. Fuck, it felt so damn right seeing it there. In a sudden rush of _need_ he sat up enough to pull his shirt and T-shirt off, squeezing his mating bite as soon as he was naked.

A little flare of pain shot through him but that reminder gave him pleasure as well and he was soon back to writhing in his Alpha’s warm hands. Cas growled approvingly as soon as he saw what Dean was doing, kneading his arm like that. And fucking yes, the Alpha’s eyes were like dark lust-filled pools.

"W-want you, Alpha." Dean panted and didn’t care how fucking wanton he sounded. He was such a slut for this Were and wasn’t even sorry. Could only feel pride, actually, when he saw the effect he was having on his mate.

The couch was too small for them both to stretch out properly but Cas just curled up to get better access at Dean’s crotch and then proceeded with simply ripping Dean’s jeans open. He huffed warmly over Dean’s dick and Dean smirked to himself, knowing full well what Cas thought of underwear. It was inconveniently in the way during times like these and while Dean agreed with that he still wore them of course because chafing, dude.

Cas was displeased at the flimsy garment, though, and sat up to pull off Dean’s jeans and boxers alike, leaving him completely naked beneath the still fully clothed Alpha and for some reason the exposure made Dean’s body thrum with arousal. His dick bobbed and he clenched his left hand around the couch cushion while the right was still kneading his deltoid.

"Beautiful." Cas growled and Dean couldn’t help arching at that, displaying his body as his muscles played under his tanned skin. Yeah, Dean worked with heavy lifting and shit, he knew he looked good. And yet, being looked at like this, having an Alpha’s eyes glaze over from arousal at the mere sight of him, nothing had ever made Dean feel so powerful.

And fucking turned on.

"Come on, Alpha." He all but whined. "Need you."

And yes, that was definitely the right thing to say. Because Cas may sometimes be defying some natural instincts and human prejudices against Weres but deep down he was an Alpha. And an Alpha couldn’t ignore the plea of his mate, not ever.

With a soothing purr Cas leaned down again and promptly swallowed Dean’s throbbing dick in one go. Dean bucked up with a hoarse shout, unable not to, and Cas let him. Let him put a hand in the Alpha’s hair and hold him in place as he started bucking his hips much too fast much too soon. But fuck, it just felt so good. Cas was awesome at giving head because either he had no gag reflex or he was fucking perfect at ignoring it.

Dean slid effortlessly deep down the Alpha’s thigh throat at every stroke and he saw stars when Cas started purring.

"Jesus Christ." Dean panted and tried to slow down his hips so he wouldn’t finish so embarrassingly fast. "You’re so fucking good, Alpha. Gonna make me blow so fucking soon."

Cas popped off with a lewd slurp and licked down Dean’s slick dick all the way down to his taut balls.

"You make the most beautiful sounds, mate." He purred and Dean keened at the sound of the Alpha’s gravelly voice. _Dean_ was making nice sound? Shit, had Cas even heard himself? Dean loved everything about this Were but especially his sounds. There had been more than one occasion that Cas’ animalistic sounds had made Dean come embarrassingly fast.

"Please, Alpha." He breathed, his hips twitching of their own accord. Cas kept licking his balls in long, wide stripes.

"Call me properly."

"Nng, y-you…" Dean moaned when Cas forced up his legs to get to the rosy taint below his balls. "I-I can’t fucking think, what—ah!"

Holy fucking shit, Cas was good at finding Dean’s every pleasure point, every little spot that made Dean’s body feel like jelly and turned his brain into mush. He whined high when Cas nipped at the sensitive flesh on the inside of his thighs and he bucked up best he could in the folded position Cas had put him in.

"Want…" he panted and his body jolted with pleasure when Cas chuckled. Dean could fucking _feel_ the sound as Cas’ vocal cords thrummed against Dean’s thigh where the Alpha had pressed in close.

"I want to watch you come, mate." Cas said in a husky voice, making Dean tremble. "Want to see you at your most beautiful, the face you show only _me_. But first, give me what I really want." Want, want, what did his Alpha want? Dean gasped when Cas pressed his mouth to Dean’s dick. God, Dean was hard now. So hard he ached, his stomach in a tight coil and his dick leaking steadily. "Call me properly." Cas demanded again in his whisky-voice and Dean’s eyes flew open.

"Husband." He pressed out and instant relief flooded him when Cas growled approvingly, encouragingly. "Please, husband, make me come for you." The relief mingled with his pleasure to such an extent that Dean thought he could come from that alone.

Cas was growling continuously now, his pleased purr rising on every inhale, and he easily swallowed Dean down again. God, Dean wanted his Alpha inside him but knew he wouldn’t make it that long, didn’t think he could take it if Cas lifted off him now. Fuck, his body was so taut that he could barely breathe.

"You’re my husband." He groaned and started bucking the moment Cas eased the grip he had had on Dean’s hips. "I’m your mate." Fuck, Dean was going to come. He knew Cas knew too because the sucking increased and the Alpha swallowed expertly around him. "I c-come—fuck—I come only for _you_."

Cas’ last little purr did him in. He was unable to hold it anymore what with the Alpha’s throat fucking vibrating around his throbbing dick. His back arched to the point of pain as he released deep down Cas’ greedy throat. His body was stiff and his dick jumped and Dean couldn’t fucking see. Black spots danced before his eyes and he was still coming, emptying himself to the point where he had to let out a punched out shout to relieve the pressure.

His body relaxed in a great whoosh and he slumped back against the couch, hands still in Cas’ hair as the Alpha gently licked him clean.

"Fucking hell, Alpha." Dean grinned to himself.

Cas nuzzled his dick and it felt fucking awesome having Cas down there. "Beautiful mate." He purred and Dean could almost drift off to sleep like this.

He shifted his legs and Cas slid up Dean’s body a little to be able to stretch out. Having his spent dick pressed against Cas’ hard stomach was one of Dean’s new favorite things. Cas gently lay his ringed hand on Dean’s mating bite.

"What about you?" Dean asked as he softly groomed Cas’ hair. Cas rubbed his face against Dean’s chest even as he rubbed his thumb against the scar.

"We could shower." He suggested and Dean’s dick tried valiantly to twitch in interest.

"Yeah. Let me take care of you, _husband_." Dean mumbled with a smile and could feel Cas’ answering smile against his warm skin.

Fuck, Dean had been nervous about buying Cas a ring. Nervous that the Were wouldn’t understand and therefore not completely appreciate the gesture. But every such doubt had blown out the window now because in this moment, with his Alpha on his chest, Dean knew they had done everything right.

  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know Kevin from school, we’re really good friends. I know what he’s doing here."  
> "Working on his dissertation."  
> "How much do you know about Cas?"

  
  


One and a half week after Dean had given Cas his ring they had Kevin over for his third and last interview with Cas. Dean was in the kitchen baking an apple pie while the kid and Alpha was once again in the living room and Dean enjoyed the murmur of their voices so much that he hadn’t even put on music while he baked.

After they had completed the mating Dean had never felt happier. People had asked about the ring, of course, but not in a weird way. And Dean had just said that he had wanted to buy Cas something to celebrate how well everything was going.

Because everything was going extremely well and not just because they were mated. No, Dean had a lot of other stuff he could brag about to people that wouldn’t be odd for him to brag about. Like how Cas was already reading and writing on his own, albeit extremely slowly and only the easiest of sentences. Dean didn’t care, he was still impressed enough to brag to such an extent that even stoic Cas looked embarrassed.

But how could he help it when the Alpha had already worked through all the training books Sam had given him? And learned to count all the way to one hundred. _And_ managed to solve the Rubik’s cube, _twice_. Try as he might, Sammy couldn’t get Dean to shut up about that. Hell, Dean could barely solve one side, and that was even after he had watched cheat videos on YouTube.

The same night as he had shown Cas the YouTube clips he walked into their bedroom only to find Cas watching porn on his laptop. Dean was instantly struck with very conflicting feelings. Pride that his Alpha had figured out how to go from YouTube to literally _any other page_ on the Internet. Annoyance at his goddamn luck that one of those pages of course had to be a porn site featuring obvious Alpha porn — obviously the result of Cas just clicking randomly at the favorites tag, Dean could really only blame himself for not hiding it better... And dread at what Cas might think.

But of course his Alpha surprised him once again. Because Cas just sat calmly listening to Dean as he assured the Were over and over again that he wasn’t mated to Cas _just because_ he was an Alpha and Dean liked that. And when Dean felt drained trying to explain how the fetish thing was just a bonus, Cas turned the laptop around and pointed to the screen and the porno that had been playing in the background the whole time, asking if they could try that position next. Fuck, Dean had never gotten aroused so fast in his whole life.

Dean had invited Jo and Ash over and Cas had finally learned about defeat in Call of Duty. Dean had teased him the whole evening and when they were alone again Cas had punished him by snapping the cockring on Dean and sucking him off so slowly that Dean was basically crying by the end of the Alpha’s edging. Cas had pushed inside him only after Dean had started begging, pleading to come and for the Alpha’s mercy. Dean wished he could have Cas’ smug smile as screensaver on his phone. Best. Fucking. Blow-job. Ever.

They had visited Sam and Jess and Sam surprised them with new training books for Cas, who seemed honestly surprised. As if he didn’t think he had done anything to deserve _more_. Anna had taken him to her room to get him started on the more difficult books. Dean was so happy the Weres got along that he spent much of the day smiling like a dork. Jess had just laughed at him and called him cute.

The day after they all gathered at Ellen and Bobby’s to have a family dinner and Dean warned Cas that Benny would be there too but the Alpha was on his best behavior the whole time. Benny was respectful too and Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he realized no one would be attacking anyone and no secrets would be revealed.

In fact, ever since what had happened between the three of them Cas seemed to accept Benny more. It might have to do with the other man admitting that Dean wasn’t his anymore or maybe it was the ring that Cas had taken to petting with a fond smile when he thought no one was looking. Dean didn’t know which but he was happy that his friend and the love of his life — that’s right — was getting along. Even if it was tentative.

Cas came into work with Dean a few more times and even there the two seemed to get along. Dean even caught them talking to each other and Benny had been smiling while Cas hadn’t been snarling so Dean thought that was extremely good. What was even better was that Cas had taken to wearing Dean’s old boots at work so he could come out with Dean in the workshop, much to Meg’s dissatisfaction. They all had a good laugh at how utterly miserable Cas was in the boots, though, stomping around like a cat with Scotch tape on its paws. It had ended with Cas sitting on a stool the whole time but Dean liked his watchful eyes all the same.

But today was Dean’s day off and it was perfect to have Kevin over for his last visit. Well, last visit regarding his dissertation, Dean supposed. He had rather taken a liking to the kid and he thought Cas had too so he was thinking of inviting Kevin over more. And maybe he ought to take that Charlie up on her offer to hang out outside of Pet World too. He had thought she seemed fun. Talking to her was easy and Dean really needed to expand his friend circle, he thought as he put the pie in the over.

Kevin had explained that he had already started writing on his paper but that he had purposefully held off the parts of Alpha testimonies so he was really eager to get started but Dean thought that he would have time for at least one slice of pie before he left.

He was whistling as went to ask Kevin but was stopped when the doorbell rang. Kevin and Cas didn’t seem interrupted by it so Dean went over to the door by himself only to find Sam on the other side.

"Still feels weird to use the bell, dude." Sam grinned and walked in when Dean just rolled his eyes at him.

"I think you can use the key now."

"I’m not risking it."

Dean huffed with a small smile. "Not that I don’t love you and all but what are you doing here?"

Sammy turned and held up a bag that was clearly from the bookstore and rustled it. "I saw that they had a new book in the series I’ve been buying Cas, just thought I’d drop it off."

Dean’s smile widened. Man, having his little brother care as much for his Alpha as Dean did made Dean all warm inside. "Come in, I’ll get you money for it."

"It’s okay, Dean." Sam said with a gentle chuckle and followed Dean into the living room. "It’s my treat."

"You’re spoiling him." Dean grinned but the grin melted away when he saw how Sam had suddenly stopped dead just inside the archway into the living room, staring at Kevin who was staring right back.

"Kevin." Sam said and his tone sounded odd to Dean.

"Sam." Kevin answered in a much more scared tone than Dean would have expected.

"You know each other?" Dean said and tried to sound cheery because what the hell was going on? Cas was looking between the three humans, a confused frown on his handsome face.

"Yeah, we… Uh, school…" Kevin mumbled and averted his eyes. The atmosphere felt ten degrees colder and Dean didn’t know why.

"And Sammy bullies you?" he half-joked and felt uneasy just saying it.

"It’s…" Sam cleared his throat and put the bag with the book down beside the couch, turning to Cas. "I bought you a present, Alpha." He said and turned back to Kevin. "You continue, don’t let me destroy anything for you."

"Sam—" Kevin started but didn’t continue when Sammy turned around and gave Dean a look he knew asked him to follow before he walked out of the living room.

"Everything’s fine." Dean said calmly in answer to Kevin’s apprehensive eyes and Cas’ questioning grunt. "You continue here. And I put a pie in the oven so if you hear the timer could you maybe take it out if I’m not back?"

He nodded when Cas nodded in return and then walked after his little brother, finding him pacing in the bedroom.

"Start talking." He said through clenched teeth as soon as he had closed the door.

Sam made an exasperated face and carded a hand through his ridiculous hair. "I know Kevin from school, we’re really good friends. He and Jess took some psychology classes together last semester."

Dean put his hands in his armpits and squinted at his bigger little brother. "And yet he looked like you had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I know what he’s doing here."

"Working on his dissertation." Dean said before he could stop himself. Because wait, if Sam knew that then…

"How much do you know about Cas?" Sam asked in a heavy voice, as if he was about to reveal some really bad news. Dean remained standing when Sam sat down on the mostly unmade bed. The bed Dean and Cas shared every night. "And how much do you know about Kevin’s dissertation?"

"Look, Sam," Dean started and held up a hand but didn’t quite know how to continue. Icy dread was gripping at his intestines because this could go bad. Dean had been so happy he had forgotten that something usually snapped when he felt too good.

He made it into Little League, his dog died. He came out as gay to his family and was instantly accepted, his parents died. He successfully mated with the most wonderful _anything_ he had ever met, would Cas die too?

Dean didn’t realize he had trouble breathing until he felt Sam gently stroking his back.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked in an extremely concerned voice and it made Dean get his shit together. He shoved off his brother’s hand and took a step away from him, frowning.

"What is it you think this is about, Sammy?"

Sam sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck the same way Dean did when he was nervous or embarrassed. "Kevin’s writing a paper on Were behaviorism, specifically Alphas."

"I know that."

Sam made that face he made when Dean interrupted him. "He’s been interviewing Alphas and even asked me to help him draw up a contract to protect the integrity of the Weres’ identities."

Dean closed his eyes momentarily. _I have a friend who’s at law school_ , Kevin had said while showing Dean the contract and why the fuck was the universe so fucked up that it _had to_ be Dean’s little brother that was the helpful law student?

"We signed that contract." Dean mumbled and when he opened his eyes again Sam was looking sadly over at him.

"Dean, Kevin told me he only had a Feral left to interview."

"Are you assuming Cas is Feral just because of that?" seriously, it could just as likely be that Cas and Kevin were fabricating a lie. But no, it of course wasn’t and by the beginnings of a bitchface on his brother’s face Dean understood that there was no point in arguing. "Don’t give me bullshit, Sammy." He said tiredly and sat down on the bed. "I know Cas is a Feral."

Sam’s mouth opened but closed again almost immediately. "You… What?"

Dean sighed, high and obnoxiously. "I didn’t buy him at a shelter, I found him wounded in the bushes behind the Roadhouse and I took him in."

Holy fucking shit, it felt good to say that out loud. That lie had been eating at Dean more than he had thought it had. He took a deep, cleansing breath and was just about to smile about the whole situation when he noticed Sam’s horror stricken face.

"You knew?" Sam choked out. "Cas is a _Feral_ and you brought him here anyway? Fuck, you took him to meet Anna, and we let them be _alone_."

His voice had risen at the end and Dean shushed him angrily. "Will you calm the fuck down?"

"Calm down?" Sam hissed but he thankfully lowered his voice. "Ferals are dangerous, Dean. And you brought one to our home."

"Fucking listen to yourself, Sam." Dean said derisively and stood up to meet his brother. "Just ten minutes ago you were buying Cas gifts and now, just because you _know_ he’s a Feral, you suddenly think he’s dangerous? He’s still the same fucking Were, Sammy. _Nothing’s_ changed expect how you view him."

Sam visibly took pause at that, seemingly evaluating himself, and Dean took the moment to calm down as best he could so he wouldn’t end up as the one screaming. He definitely didn’t want Cas to come in here now but it was hard to control his emotions when his own brother was talking shit about his mate.

"Okay." Sam said eventually, sounding determined and Dean looked cautiously at him.

"Okay what?"

"You’re right, I shouldn’t judge Cas based on him being a Feral alone. That’s after all what Kevin’s dissertation is about, isn’t it?"

Dean nodded a little uncertainly. "Partly, yes. I think."

"So, okay." Sam sighed and sat down on the bed again. This time Dean joined him. "What happened? Ferals live in packs, right?"

Dean looked away, uncomfortable talking about this without Cas present. He wanted his Alpha’s calming scent and presence to comfort him. And talking about the Were behind his back left a bad taste in Dean’s mouth but somehow he thought Sammy needed to hear it.

"They abandoned him." He admitted after a moment in silence. "Cas had a pack of his own, he was leader and everything but he…" Dean drew a deep breath and looked straight at Sam who was obviously doing his best to keep his face neutral. "Turned out his sperm wasn’t strong enough to catch on and that made him useless to the rest of the pack so they dumped him."

Sam’s face contorted in a mask of confusion and sympathy. "Didn’t think Weres would do something like that."

Dean nodded slowly. "Me neither but they did. And then a group of humans found Cas and tried to have their way with him. They beat him and cut him up when he tried to flee and…" Dean took a new steading breath when he thought of Cas fleeing for days with wounds even worse than the ones he had had when Dean had found him. "I found him days later and I just… I couldn’t leave him, Sammy."

Sam looked softly at him. "I know. You just…" he shook his head with a fond smile. "You pretend you’re badass but you’ve got the biggest heart I’ve ever—" he cut himself off when his eyes actually landed on the bed and the mound of pillows and blankets Cas stacked there every night. "Um, Dean?" he asked and grabbed one of the blankets lightly. Dean swallowed slowly. "What’s going on here?"

"What?" Dean said in mock surprise. His mating bite was tingling and his throat felt dry. "Can’t a guy like to cuddle up?"

Sam looked like he was about to agree but that there was something stopping him. Maybe it was the years he and Dean had spent sharing a room and all the times since where they had bunkered up in motel rooms and tents during trips with and without friends. Dean usually didn’t use more than one pillow and Sam knew that.

"I guess." Sam mumbled and looked like he was about to shake it off but suddenly Dean didn’t want him to. Suddenly he was tired of all the lies.

"Cas sleeps in here with me." He stated in a rush and Sam blinked at him, obviously doing his best to piece together why the Alpha would do that. Dean sighed. "Look, when you two first met you scared him into thinking someone could attack us so he wanted to guard me. He kept sleeping outside my room until I let him in here." There, that cleared that up and it felt good, revealing that. Liberating, even.

Sam was squinting, though, and Dean didn’t like that. "How long had Cas been staying with you before that?"

"Before he kinda attacked you?" Dean harrumphed and looked away, scratching his chin. "Like three days." He mumbled and jerked at Sam’s indignant squeak.

" _Three days?_ "

"Chill, dude." Dean decided not to tell his brother that Cas had been asleep for most of those first days.

"I will not." Sam said, his voice raised high again and Dean’s eyes darted to the door. "You took in an unknown Feral Were and after just three days he attacked your family and you _kept him anyway_?!"

"I said calm down, Jesus Christ, Sammy." Dean spat out. "Cas was really sorry, okay? He told me I should kick him out but what the fuck good would that do? I wanted to make it work."

" _Why?_ " Sam demanded in a much harder tone than Dean had ever heard him use before. It made Dean square his shoulders.

"Because I love him."

Sam stared with a dumbstruck face at Dean for a long time and Dean couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t even said that to Cas and this was the first time he admitted it even to himself. Fuck. It felt huge and world-toppling and somehow it also felt so good to say this out loud as well. They had mated, they had exchanged a bite and a ring and yeah, Dean was in love for the first time in his life.

"What?" Sam asked when he obviously couldn’t puzzle together what he was hearing.

Dean sighed and you know what? Enough was fucking enough already. He rucked up his T-shirt on his left arm, brandishing his mating bite to Sam. The bruises had faded to a dull yellow color and it didn’t hurt anymore. The actual bite had healed nicely, the scar a tiny rise in Dean’s skin that he liked to stroke with his fingers and that Cas fucking relished in licking.

"We’re mated." He stated simply and watched how Sam’s eyes grew three sizes and went from confused to horrified to somewhere between nausea and a desperate need to be accepting.

"Mated?" he squawked and Dean pressed his lips together, just waiting for the shit storm.

Mating with a Were was illegal just as marrying a horse would be illegal. It just wasn’t done. It was scorned upon and viewed as sexual deviancy, much like bestiality. It wasn’t something to do, or show, or feel proud of. And yet here Dean was, doing all of those things.

"Well," he said matter-of-factly and rolled down his sleeve again. "I didn’t bite Cas, of course. I gave him a ring instead." He smiled at the memory and heard Sam’s soft exhale.

"A bite for a ring."

"Were for human." Dean confirmed firmly.

Sam was shaking his head but at least not screaming bloody murder. "Shit, Dean, what have you done?"

Dean frowned angrily. "Do you have any idea how I felt before I found Cas? I was lonely, Sam. I wanted what you have with Jess and I tried but no one felt right." Sam was looking at him with sympathy and Dean couldn’t take it so he looked away, fisting his hands against his thighs. "I felt like I didn’t fit in and every day was just this monotone drone of the same nothingness."

"I never knew you felt like that." Sam mumbled and it was Dean’s turn to shake his head.

"Why the fuck would you?" he sighed when he looked over and saw that Sam looked extremely sad. He had deflated a little, sitting hunched over with his elbows on his knees and looking at Dean like he desperately wanted to understand. "I didn’t want to bother you with something that was obviously my problem. How would bothering you with my shortcomings make any of us feel better?"

"Why must you always suffer on you own?" Sam muttered and Dean almost let that make him feel bad about his decision but managed not to.

"I don’t anymore, though." Sam looked up and Dean smiled at him, putting his right hand over his mating bite. "I’ve never felt better, Sammy."

Sam’s eyes softened and he looked at Dean’s hand for a long time, the gears clearly turning in his head and Dean let him figure out what he needed to figure out.

"You know," Sam started after some time and Dean let himself relax at the calm tone. "I think I get it, somehow."

"What do you mean?"

Sam looked away, staring at the far wall. "You and I, we didn’t grow up with Weres. I mean, we saw them a lot and we knew people who had them but it wasn’t like Jess. They had a Beta when she was small and then they got Anna. To Jess they’re pets because her family treated them like that but I…" he looked over at Dean, smiling crookedly. "I’ve always thought of Anna as more of a little sister than a pet, you know?"

Dean’s chest bloomed with warmth. "I _do_ know." He said in a low tone and returned a tentative smile. "I always thought so about her too."

And then Sam did the best thing he could have done in a situation as screwed up as this. He laughed. It wasn’t long and it wasn’t loud but it was a small chuckle that told Dean this would be alright; _they_ would be alright.

"You’re fucking a Were." Sam deadpanned and Dean grinned.

"I am." He said with a chuckle of his own and it fed Sam’s laughter.

"No, wait." Sam said, his words wobbly through his mirth. "He’s an Alpha, right? _He’s_ fucking you." That made both brothers laugh harder and maybe it was the ridiculousness of the situation or the relief but it just felt so good to be laughing at something that Dean had thought would eat them up.

"He is." Dean agreed breathlessly between laughing fits and that was when Sam totally lost his shit.

"You’re his _bitch_." He pressed out, holding his sides as he laughed loudly and Dean tried to look indignant but couldn’t when it was true. "You’re the bitch now, Dean."

"Shut up, bitc—" they both quieted when Dean stopped midsentence and just stared at each other for a moment before breaking out in laughter again. Sam was pointing at Dean and Dean was shaking his head, trying to deflect his little brother’s hand. Dean had never felt so elated in his whole life.

  


Later, after they had shared the pie with Cas and Kevin and assured Kevin nothing was wrong and that his dissertation wouldn’t be compromised, they waved Kevin off and sat down with Cas to tell him that Sam knew everything now. Well, not _everything_. Dean’s little Alpha fetish was still a secret and one that he intended to take with him to the grave.

Cas listening attentively while the brothers talked and when asked what he thought about this being revealed he just shrugged and said that as long as Dean was okay he was fine with whatever arrangement.

Cas was after all still wearing the collar all the time and to be honest Dean kind of thought the Alpha saw it as a gag or something. Dean thought it was hot so he hadn’t brought it up. Plus, if they were still going to pretend, which they intended to do, then it was just as well that Cas wore it. Dean anyhow liked to pull on it during sex. Yet another game for the Alpha that Dean was aroused by and that _no one_ needed to know.

Sam had agreed not to tell anyone but to leave that up to Dean and Cas, even though he admitted to feeling bad about not telling Jess. Dean agreed that they should tell her too but that he wanted to be the one to do it.

  


"I’m glad you told Sam." Cas mumbled much later when they were snuggled together in Cas’ blanket nest.

"Really?" Dean mumbled, already half-asleep. He made a content little noise when Cas gathered him closer.

"I don’t mind hiding what we have, Dean." Cas murmured against Dean’s hair, his voice a soft rumble in his chest. "But I want you to be happy and I think you would feel better if your pack approved of us."

Dean considered this and thought that yes, that would feel better. If nothing else he guessed the relief he had felt at Sam’s acceptance confirmed that. And still, he hadn’t been miserable hiding it either. What he really hated was human society treating Weres like it did. More people needed to be like Sam and Kevin.

"I’m happy enough as long as you’re my Alpha." He answered in a sleepy tone and let Cas’ happy purr lull him to sleep, knowing he was safe in Cas’ arms.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Thursday is going to be a double post with the last chapter and the epilogue right after :D


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then one where we all love you, Dean.

  
  


The sun was shining brightly and it was a great day to spend outside. Jess had baked a pie and Sam had invited Dean and Cas to come with them to the Park. It was only two days after Dean had revealed their secret to Sammy so Dean was just as apprehensive as he was happy about the invite. He could hear on Sam’s tone that today was as good a day as any to talk to Jess and Anna about Dean and Cas. And Dean had no arguments left.

To be perfectly honest, Dean didn’t like the Park. He had been there several times before with Anna and it always left him with a bad taste in his mouth. Because this was basically like a dog park in the way it was built especially for owners to take their Weres out to meet and play with other Weres. Anna loved it, though, so Dean had never argued.

Now he was sitting with Sam and Jess at a picnic table, munching on Jess’ pie and watching Cas interact with the other Weres. It had taken Cas no time at all to gather a little entourage of Weres and Anna was sitting by his right side, hugging his arm and grinning widely at the other Betas and Omegas who also wanted to sit in Cas’ lap but that the Alpha kept at bay.

Fuck, Cas was beautiful like that. Dean could barely tear his eyes away and wasn’t really focusing on Jess as she told him about what she and Sam had planned for the weekend.

 _Cas deserves a pack to lead_ , he thought absentmindedly as he watched Cas coax the other Weres to sit how he wanted them to, in a half-circle before him. It only took a few grunts and meaningful looks from the Alpha for the other Weres to fall in line and Dean’s chest ached with pride and sorrow. He wanted Cas to himself more than anything else but Cas should have this. Should be free and proud and respected the way he deserved.

As if he could somehow hear Dean’s thoughts — or maybe he could smell Dean’s discomfort all the way from over where he sat on the grass — Cas turned his head and quirked his lips at Dean. Anna turned too and waved enthusiastically, making Cas chuckle before turning back to the group of Weres. It was obvious that they were communicating even if they weren’t talking in the human sense and Dean smiled fondly at the way the Betas and Omegas tripped over themselves trying to get Cas’ attention.

Fuck, if Dean wasn’t careful his melancholy might turn into arousal at seeing Cas like that.

He turned back to Sam and Jess just in time to see her snickering at him. "What?" he asked in surprise and speared the last piece of pie on his fork.

"Cas seems like he’s enjoying himself." Jess commented airily and Dean rolled his eyes.

"He looks like he’s holding court." Sam commented and Dean was immensely happy his little brother hadn’t taken to treating Cas differently after learning about the Were being a Feral or that they were mated.

"Well, he’s an Alpha." Dean said with a shrug and gave Sam his paper plate and plastic fork when Sam got up to gather their trash. "I think it’s good for him to be reminded of that."

"We remind him all the time." Jess protested mildly and Dean grinned at her.

"Calling him Alpha is not the same thing and you know that too, Goldilocks."

She made a face at him and was just about to argue when they heard a sound coming from the group of Weres behind them. Dean immediately noted another Alpha when he turned around, the red tag dangling from a red collar on a big, dark skinned male. Dean frowned when he saw that the newcomer had a group of his own in tow and was apparently out to recruit more. Or maybe he was angry that Cas had swept in and stolen attention. In either case he was clearly communicating to the other Weres. Some of them were looking uncertain, others angry. Cas was looking calm, almost bored.

Dean turned more bodily toward the exchange just as Sam joined them again.

"Trouble?" Sam asked and sounded genuinely surprised. Guess having a docile Beta didn’t prepare owners for turf wars like this.

"No." Dean said confidently. "There isn’t an Alpha in this park that could beat Cas."

Because he was a Feral, was the obvious argument, aside from Dean having absolute confidence in his mate. The unspoken argument seemed to calm Sam down because he sat down silently but Jess, on the other hand, was of course not as easily persuaded.

"We should break it up." She said but both Winchesters shook their heads.

"Cas is Alpha." Dean said and didn’t notice until he had said it how his grammar had slipped. Sam was looking at him funnily but thankfully Jess didn’t seem to have noticed.

She was getting to her feet and calling Anna over. Anna just looked at her, however, and went back to clutching the back of Cas’ T-shirt. She stood up when Cas did and so did the rest of the group, Dean noticed.

Cas didn’t even wait for the dark skinned Alpha to finish his persuasion but went right up into the other Alpha’s personal space and growled at him loud enough for the three humans to hear. The scene had attracted a couple of other Weres as well but thankfully their owners didn’t seem interested enough to leave their comfortable seats or even look at the Weres.

The dark skinned Alpha looked extremely displeased at being interrupted and hissed at Cas before promptly grabbing one of the Betas that stood closest. The Beta girl shrieked and Cas reacted lightning fast by actually fucking backhanding the bigger Alpha. Shit, Dean had never seen his Alpha move so fast before.

Jess gasped but both Sam and Dean just watched with grim expressions. That other Alpha needed to learn his fucking place.

The dark skinned Alpha released his hold on the Beta, who scurried to hide beside Anna. He snapped his jaws at Cas and started up a growl that Cas shut down by backhanding him again, almost as if correcting an unruly child. And before the other Alpha could do anything about it Cas had grabbed him by the collar and forced him down to his knees, growling in his face and snapping his jaws dangerously close to the Were’s ear, no doubt communicating his displeasure at the insolence.

Dean turned back to Sam and Jess with a cocky smirk just as Cas pushed the dark skinned Alpha away and gathered his now larger group of Weres to sit down again, a little closer to the picnic table. Dean could see in the corner of his eye how the other Alpha and what remained of his followers trudged off sullenly.

"Told you." Dean bragged and Sam snorted at him but Dean could see him smiling.

Jess didn’t look as happy. "Shouldn’t we make sure they’re okay?"

Dean glanced back and saw that Anna was once again snuggled up against Cas’ right side, the other little Beta on Cas’ left side.

"They’re fine." He said dismissively. Jess didn’t look convinced but said nothing more about it.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" she asked instead and Dean’s stomach suddenly felt like it was filled with molten lead.

"What do you mean?" he asked but thought he knew exactly what she was talking about. If nothing else, the look he shared with Sam confirmed his thoughts.

"Well, Sam said you had something you wanted to talk to me about." Jess said and Dean gulped. "Also, he said it has something to do with what Anna’s been saying about Cas’ smell."

Dean’s brow knitted in confusion. "What about his smell?" That was the first Dean had heard about it but Jess waved it off like it was nothing.

"Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing serious. A couple of weeks ago she told me Cas’ scent had changed but when I asked her what she meant she refused to say anything more. I thought it was strange but I forgot about it. And then the other day when Sam came home from you Anna made the comment again, after scenting Sam and obviously smelling Cas on him. And Sam won’t tell me either." She said in a mock-miffed tone, nudging Sam.

"I told her you know what it was about and that you wanted to talk about it face to face." Sam answered in a much more serious tone than Jess and it made Dean gulp again.

"Yeah." He mumbled and absentmindedly massaged his mating bite. He didn’t know if he imagined it or not but the scar felt tingly. Dean didn’t like this. Didn’t like being put on the spot and suddenly he didn’t think everyone automatically would be as okay with him and Cas as Sam had been. He had told Cas that the Alpha was all that mattered to him and in the long run it felt like it would be but he still didn’t want to face the immediate rejection this reveal could bring.

"What’s wrong, Dean?" Jess suddenly asked and he realized that his arm was tingling because he was squeezing it really hard.

"I’m fine." He mumbled but felt how very not fine he was. He wanted his Alpha beside him but a glance over his shoulder showed Cas immersed in his Were group as they took their turns talking to him.

"You’re not fine." Jess objected gently but it felt like she was screaming.

Dean was starting to sweat. Fuck, was this a panic attack? Was he being a little pussy having a panic attack over something he was so certain about? And in the middle of the fucking Park in broad daylight?

"Let him talk." Sam scolded mildly and he sounded like he knew what was going on in Dean’s head. He probably did, little bastard.

"It’s nothing." Dean pressed out and rubbed his arm harder. "I didn’t want to talk about anything." His breathing felt stunted, was he getting enough air? _Alpha._

"Dean." Sam said in a reproachful tone. "We need to talk about this."

Why? Why did they need to talk about it at all? Sam had accepted, hadn’t he? Benny too; he had barely batted an eye, bless him. And Sam had laughed with Dean and they had spent hours talking with Cas so everything was fine, wasn’t it?

"No…"

Jess was looking between the brothers, an alarmed expression forming on her previously mildly concerned face. "What’s going on?"

"Dean."

"We’re mated." Dean hissed and bowed his head with closed eyes when he heard Jess make a surprised sound.

"What are you talking about?" She asked and sounded genuinely confused.

Dean took a shuddering breath but refused to lift his head. "Cas mated with me." He almost whispered, terrified of how loud everything sounded in his ears. What if someone else heard? Why the fuck were they talking about this in the goddamn Park? "I gave him a ring in return. We’re…" He looked up and cringed at Jess’ shell shocked expression. "We’re a couple. Kinda."

Jess’ mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she turned to Sam, her eyes round and a little fearful.

"Is it true? Did you know?"

Sam exhaled deeply. "I heard about it a couple of days ago. We talked and, I dunno… It seems fine, Jess."

" _Fine?_ " Jess parroted in a tone Dean had never heard from her before. Repulsed, she sounded repulsed.

Sam looked like he hadn’t ever expected her to react like that. Dean shrunk down in his seat because this was exactly how he had imagined how everyone would react and he couldn’t deal with it. Family was the most important to him, he couldn’t have them turn their back on him because of something he couldn’t help, something that he wanted.

Suddenly a warm hand landed on his shoulder and Dean startled before he recognized Cas’ scent. Cas squeezed Dean’s shoulder and Dean immediately leaned into the touch. Anna stood on the other side of Cas, looking confused and a little concerned and behind the two of them the rest of the Weres stood, silently watching. Dean wanted to turn around completely and hide against Cas’ stomach but managed not to.

"What’s going on?" Cas said, his Alpha voice evident and both Sam and Jess jerked at hearing it. Anna made a questioning little noise.

"Nothing." Jess answered and stood to gather their things. "We were just leaving."

"Jess." Sam pleaded but she was already shouldering her bag.

"No, Sam, I can’t deal with this. I…" She looked at Dean and Cas and Dean could see that she was struggling hard. Her face ranged from disgusted to sad to confused and back again in a loop and Dean couldn’t meet her eyes for more than a couple of seconds. "Come, Anna." She commanded and walked away briskly.

Anna whined and looked between Jess and Cas but eventually tore away from the Alpha to run after her owner. Sam yelled after Jess but rather quickly concluded that she wouldn’t turn back.

"Shit." He muttered and stood up too. "It’s okay, Dean, I’ll talk to her."

"Don’t…" Dean had to swallow and he hung his head. "Don’t bother, Sam. It’s okay, I get it. This was the reaction I was expecting." He looked up and tried to smile but couldn’t. "Just as long as you don’t hate me." It was almost a question and Sam reached over the table to grab Dean’s hand briefly.

"No one hates you, Dean. She was just surprised and I was wrong to bring it up like this. I’ll call you when she’s calmed down and we’ve talked." With that he turned and jogged after Jess.

Dean had never felt so miserable in his whole life. He felt numb and cold inside, the only warmth was the one that seeped into him from Cas’ hand and he turned to his Alpha.

"Take me home, Alpha." He mumbled and hated, _hated_ , how his voice cracked.

Cas had been looking after Sam but at the sound of Dean’s voice he turned back and looked like he was about two seconds away from kissing him. But instead he just bent down and scented Dean’s hair lightly. Dean closed his eyes and leaned against Cas’ warm body.

"Come." Cas said then and backed away to allow Dean room enough to stand up. The Alpha turned around to his new friends and made a series of sounds that Dean could only half-interpret. It sounded like good bye, though, and the group of Weres just grumbled in response and then started dispersing.

The two of them started walking towards the exit of the park, Cas leading Dean with a gentle hand on his elbow and Dean kind of wanted to say that he wasn’t a fragile little flower but knew that that wasn’t true right now.

Cas stopped at the gate and Dean only then noticed that a little Omega boy had followed them. He was even clutching the hem of Cas’ T-shirt and Cas stooped down to gently pry the boy’s hand off.

"You need to go back now, Samandriel." Cas said kindly but firmly and the boy pouted in return.

"I don’t wanna." He stated defiantly and Cas held his hand when he wouldn’t let go. "Ralphie’ll come and take me and he’s a meanie."

Cas quirked his lips and made an amused sound. Dean had never regretted more that he couldn’t give Cas children than he did in that moment, watching Cas with the little boy.

_Cas would’ve made the best dad ever._

"I know Raphael seems strict but—"

"He’s _mean_." The Omega stomped his foot but his whine quieted fast enough when Cas huffed at him.

Cas took the boy’s face in his hands as he kneeled before him. "Raphael is Alpha."

"Bad Alpha."

Well, if "Raphael" was anything like that Alpha from before then Dean couldn’t deny that.

Cas’ smile grew. "If he troubles you, you need to go to your owner. Your owner will protect you."

Samandriel pressed his lips together but nodded all the same. "Will you come back?"

"I will." Cas stated simply and stood up to pet the Omega’s hair briefly. "But not today, my mate needs me now." He said the last part while taking Dean’s hand and Dean momentarily froze up at the thought of someone hearing them. But a quick look around confirmed that they were out of ear-shot of any other humans and the little Omega just peered at Dean and then nodded wisely.

"Good Alpha." He said and sounded like he was confirming it not only for himself but Cas as well. He gave Cas a quick hug, nuzzling his stomach, before tottering off to some humans not far from where Dean had been sitting with Sam and Jess. One of the humans greeted him with a huge smile and swept the Omega up in a tight hug before giving him a cookie.

"Those humans will keep him safe." Cas said contentedly and then turned back to Dean, squeezing his hand slightly.

Dean smiled tiredly and they started walking to the Impala that stood parked in the directly sunlight. It would be sweltering inside, no doubt, but Dean kind of felt like he needed it right now with how cold he felt on the inside.

"Was that okay?" he asked as he was fishing his keys out of his pocket. Cas walked around the car to get to the passenger side. "Telling him I’m your… mate." He finished the sentence in a lower tone but wished he had screamed it out loud. Cas didn’t bat an eye and he waited until they were both in the car until he answered calmly.

"Weres don’t judge like humans do."

"I supposed not." Dean mumbled as he started driving them home.

"I meant that relationships with humans isn’t viewed with contempt." Cas clarified and took Dean’s right hand in his. "At least not by Ferals. I’ve never done it myself but I knew Ferals who had had sex with humans on a number of occasions." He nodded when Dean made a skeptical sound and Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. There was certainly nothing about that in all the Were books he had read so far.

"But isn’t it weird for Weres to live as a human’s pet, then? What if they fall in love with their owner? That’s just…" Dean didn’t even want to think about how similar that was to him and Cas. "It would be weird, wouldn’t it?" He finished lamely.

"Maybe." Cas answered after a short time in thought. "But I think perhaps Domesticated Weres have duller senses so maybe they don’t view you like that at all. Sexual compatibility is based very much on smell and all Domesticated Weres that I have met so far have had very poor sense of smell compared to Ferals. And very few of your Weres smell the same as Ferals, or as strongly. I think that may affect their libido and other instincts as well. Out of all the Weres I met today, none was mated even though most of them was more than old enough, I simply don’t think it occurs to them. But to a Feral it would and while having a human as long-time lover is uncommon I’ve never heard it to be unaccepted."

"How about the whole reproduction thing?" Dean asked just as he was turning down the street the apartment was on. "Your pack rejected you because you can’t make pups but would they be okay with a human as mate even though humans and Weres can’t have kids?"

Cas quirked his lips slightly. "I said lover, not mate." He stated solemnly. "I couldn’t have a pup with a male Beta either because they are like you. Ferals would judge a mating that wouldn’t result in a pup much harsher than they would judge sex between species."

"Huh." Dean gnawed on his lower lip as he parked outside the apartment. "So," He said just as Cas made to get out of the car. "So if you were fertile they wouldn’t approve of our mating, same as humans won’t approve?"

Can tilted his head to the side. "Probably not." He conceded after a while and the black feeling in Dean’s stomach grew. "I guess we ruin it for each other." Cas leaned in and brushed his lips against Dean’s cheek, breathing him in. "But I would still make the same decision, every chance I got."

Dean drew a deep breath and it was much more shuddering than he would have liked. "Can we just go inside, Alpha?" he said in a small voice and Cas grunted in agreement.

As soon as they got inside the apartment Dean pulled Cas into the living room. He felt bone-tired and sad and he just wanted to sleep for a fucking decade. He needed his Alpha all around him and he kicked off his shoes to flop down on the couch.

"I wanna sit here for a while." He said and Cas obediently sat down and immediately accommodated to hold Dean when Dean curled up against him. "I want you to hug me and groom me and purr comfortingly." Dean hated that he felt like this, that his cheeks were wet from tears and that just having his Alpha hadn’t been enough today. He wanted his family to love him for who he was and he had a much harder time dealing with the rejection than he had thought he would.

"Mate." Cas growled softly and pulled Dean closer so that he could lie down with Dean draped on top of him. "I will protect you."

 _Protect me from myself_ , Dean thought miserably.

"I need to be a total chick right now." Dean mumbled with his face against Cas’ chest and his hand in a fist around Cas’ T-shirt. "I fucking suck, Alpha. I can’t deal with this."

"Sleep, mate." Cas soothed and Dean wanted to protest. They hadn’t eaten dinner, it was only early evening, he needed to check in with Sam. But Cas started purring just like Dean had wanted and he drifted off faster than he would have thought, emotional drain taking its toll.

  
  


*****

  
  


Dean woke with a start several hours later. He was alone in a pitch black living room and the couch was cold beside him.

"Cas?" He said and rubbed his eyes as he sat up. Fuck they felt crusty, how much had he been crying anyway? Goddamnit, he was such a little bitch all of a fucking sudden. Yeah, Dean decided in that moment to fuck everyone else. He loved Cas and the Alpha loved him, the rest of the world could chill the fuck down and shut the hell up.

But first, where was Cas? Dean walked around the apartment, lighting lamps as he went and even stopping to relieve himself when he came to the bathroom but no Cas.

"Alpha?" he called when he walked into the guest bedroom but even in there was dark and cold, the floor beneath the bed only occupied by too many dust bunnies. What the fuck was going on?

Dean grumbled to himself as he walked into the living room again. Just as he had gotten through his crisis and had decided that he was okay as long as he had his Alpha, Cas had of course to go missing. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He kind of expected to find a note on the coffee table. Cas had after all learned how to write rather quickly, even if it looked like a five-year-old had done it and it was full of spelling errors and grammar mistakes. And sure, he hadn’t been able to puzzle together long sentences yet but at least a small _be back soon_ would have sufficed. Would’ve probably had the ‘k’ all backwards and shit…

"Well, fuck." Dean muttered to the empty apartment and just as he was about to pick up his phone and call Sam he heard keys in the door.

He went out into the hall and half-expected his little brother but was surprised to see Cas coming inside with not only Sam but also Jess and Anna in tow. Dean just stared, dumbstruck, as Cas casually pocketed the key. He had given the Alpha that key long ago but to his knowledge Cas had never used it. He was just about to ask what was going on when the other four noticed him and Cas walked right over to pull him in close, Dean’s face to his neck in a comforting gesture.

Dean’s hands immediately landed on Cas’ sides and he took a deep breath, loving the spicy scent of his Alpha. But his eyes were trained on Sam and Jess even as Cas started grooming him.

"What’s going on, Alpha?" He mumbled and Jess seemed to crack at that.

She started crying so abruptly that Sam actually jumped but he didn’t have time to start comforting her before she all but ran up to Dean, flinging her arms around his neck in a tight hug just as Cas let him go.

"I’m sorry, Dean." She sobbed and rubbed tears and snot all over him. "I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I wasn’t thinking, I was surprised, I-I…" she trailed off into incoherent sobbing and Dean stared desperately at the other three.

Anna looked like she really wanted to comfort Jess and Sam looked on with sympathy. Cas’ face was a stony mask of determination and he kind of looked like he thought Jess deserved to be crying.

"Cas came over about an hour ago." Sam explained in a low tone.

"On his own?" Dean asked incredulously even though he already knew the answer. A look at his Alpha and Cas was confirming his question with a nod. Sure, it was dark outside but just thinking about what could have happened to his Alpha if he had been found alone without an owner made Dean’s insides twist uncomfortably. The collar didn’t even have any kind of ID on it.

"Yeah." Sam nodded too. "He came to tell us that you were sad and…" he trailed off and glanced at Cas. Anna walked over to Jess to stroke her hair as she continued hugging Dean and crying softly. "No, you know what?" Sam huffed out a laugh. "Cas came to our apartment, hell bent on tearing us a new one. He almost kicked down the door."

"What?" Dean squeaked and looked at Cas who pointedly looked at the hat rack like it was the most interesting hat rack in the history of interesting hat racks.

Jess surprised him by giving a shaky laugh too, short and almost pained. She pulled away from his embrace and wiped her nose unattractively on the back of her hand, smiling shakily at Dean.

"He did." She agreed. "He was really scary."

"Alpha rage." Anna said, much more calmly than the rest of them and Dean’s eyes bulged out.

"Cas…" He started but Sam held up a hand.

"No, he was right to do it." He said and Dean’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I let him in and he was roaring at us for a long time before Anna got him to calm down. Snarling about you being sad, how we hurt his mate. And you know what, Dean? He was right."

Dean’s cheeks flushed red at what he heard. Cas had put his hands in his pockets and was rocking slightly on his feet, still not meeting Dean’s eyes.

"We did hurt you." Jess stated sadly. " _I_ hurt you." She reached over and stroked Dean’s burning cheek. "It’s _unconventional_ , a relationship between a human and a Were. Some states say it’s against the law and some say it’s just taboo. I’ve always been taught that it’s simply just not done. In the same way that you wouldn’t have sex with a dog or a child but…" she looked over at Cas who was staring apprehensively at her. "But Cas is neither of those things. I’ve read some of Kevin’s paper, just drafts but still. I’ve discussed it with him and I’ve agreed on everything he had to say but somehow, when it came to mating and when it was someone I’m close to I just… I didn’t know how to deal. I was—I _am_ wrong."

Dean’s eyes softened. "You’re not wrong, Jess. It’s just another way to look at it."

Her whole face scrunched up as if she had eaten a lemon. "An old-fashioned, narrow-sighted way." She stated dryly and Dean couldn’t argue with that. "Especially when I _know_ that there are Manufactured Weres that are nothing more than glorified sex dolls for human pleasure."

"But somehow that’s not the same as your brother-in-law mating with one, is it?" Dean asked in a low tone and she shook her head.

"No, but this should be the better alternative. And it is." She hugged him again, tighter and briefer. "I think a lot of us humans have to grow up and realize the lines aren’t as strict or as black and white as we think they are. You can’t argue love, can you?"

"No." Dean mumbled with a small smile that only grew when he heard Cas’ pleased grunt.

"Dean." Sam said as he stepped up to his older brother and put a hand on his shoulder. "We love you, I’m sorry we hurt you."

"Not we." Jess stated firmly. "I hurt you and I’m sorry. We both love you, though."

Sam nodded and pulled Anna in with his other arm. "You decide who you want to tell and when but know that we’re behind you. All three of us." He said solemnly.

Dean was grinning now, his body feeling lighter by the second. "I fucking forgive you already, stop being so sappy."

Sam punched him on the shoulder and yeah, that was better. Cas snorted out a laughter and started walking into the kitchen, rubbing his stomach.

"Food." He stated and Dean laughed too as they followed his Alpha.

Dean didn’t care that it was well into the night and that he basically had nothing to offer in terms of good food, he was just so happy that literally anything would do. Slowly but certainly his friends and family was accepting this and Dean couldn’t be more relieved.

And above it all he was on cloud nine because even if he ran into trouble he had a badass Alpha that would go fucking berserk if anyone hurt him. Yeah, Dean was pretty sure he had never been more loved in his whole life.

  
  



	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the epilogue! Phew, that took a while :D  
> I’m very glad to haven gotten this idea out since it’s been stewing in my head for a while now so thank you all for participating and helping me along the way. Writing is fun but you guys make it the best! <3

  
  


Dean moaned as Cas pushed slowly into him. They were lying on their sides, back to chest, and the Alpha was caressing Dean’s stomach and chest as he thrust languidly into his mate. Dean’s whole body was heated and his breathing already coming in clipped, short breaths.

But Cas was relentless in keeping the slow pace. He nibbled at Dean’s ear, licked his neck, and whispered words of praise mingled with his own pleasurable sounds.

"Alpha." Dean whimpered and pushed back as best he could.

"I need you to feel, Dean." Cas murmured and Dean’s hips stuttered back at the sound of Cas’ gravelly voice.

"I fucking feel everything." Dean pressed out and could feel his Alpha grin against his neck.

Cas indulged him, though, and started thrusting harder. The strokes were still long and punctuated with a slap when Cas’ hips drove against Dean’s ass and fuck yeah, it felt so good Dean was seeing stars.

They were lying together in their bed, entangled in a sweaty mess and Dean couldn’t be happier. Sam and Jess had left with Anna a couple of hours back but only after they had assured Dean that they were okay, that this was right. Cas had then endeavored to show Dean _just_ how right this was and shit, the Alpha had already made Dean come once by simply licking him open. Cas’ tongue was long and warm and just having his face pressed against Dean’s needy hole was more than enough to get Dean going.

But no matter how much he had pleaded with his Alpha, Cas hadn’t relented and given his mate the cock he begged for. No, Cas had needed to show Dean how loved he was and had apparently thought it would be a great idea to do so using sex. Not that Dean was complaining.

He had to admit, though, that as soon as Cas pushed his neglected cock into the tight heat of Dean’s waiting body he had almost come again. The Alpha just felt so good inside him, filling him like no one else had, making him feel so protected and wanted.

That Cas apparently thought it would be a good idea to go extremely slowly was another matter. But Dean couldn’t complain about that either because fuck, the long thrusts made him feel _everything_.

"Cas." He moaned and grabbed Cas’ right hand where it was roaming his chest. "Alpha. My Alpha." Cas kissed his sweaty skin and entwined their fingers. Dean clearly felt the ring pressed against his own fingers and that made him buck back harder. "You’re mine." Dean moaned needily and Cas growled approvingly, his thrusts getting sharper, more desperate. "Fuck yes."

"Dean, you feel so good." The Alpha growled as he fucked harder and harder with every stroke. He reached down and started fisting Dean’s dick where it bobbed in time with their hips.

It made Dean scream, his whole body arching as Cas started pumping him quickly. Cas was panting against Dean’s neck now and Dean was babbling nonsense.

"Cas, my Alpha, never g-gonna let anyone say diff-differen—fuck!" he drew a sharp breath when Cas abruptly changed the angle to fucking finally nail Dean’s prostate. Dean _knew_ that the Were knew where it was and had deliberately kept his thrusts angled away from it. Fucking tease.

"Mate." Cas groaned deeply, his whole chest vibrating deliciously. "You are mine, no one can hurt you. I’ll protect you. _Mate_." His thrusts were getting harder and more erratic, to the point where Dean could no longer keep up but just melted back against his Alpha to let Cas set the pace.

His ass felt so good he barely registered that Cas had stopped jerking him in favor of holding his hip in place. And just when Dean started thinking he would come again Cas’ thrusts lost all coordination. His breath pushed out of him like he had been punched and a high whine clawed its way up his throat. Before Dean could gather his wits, Cas had rolled him over and pulled his ass back so that Dean was on all fours in front of the wildly bucking Alpha. And that was when Dean felt it.

"Shit, Cas, your knot." He moaned and tried to push back. While it was unusual that an Alpha’s knot swelled completely out of rut Dean had learned rather quickly that a little swelling was to be expected during sex. Cas’ knot usually made itself known and the Alpha enjoyed pushing it against Dean’s ass. Dean had taken to massaging the half-knot when he was sucking Cas off but it never went beyond that because Cas had said it probably wouldn’t out of rut and that it didn’t matter anyway; the sex was still awesome. Now, however, the knot was swelling steadily against Dean’s tender rim and fucking hell, Dean wanted it.

"Need to..." Cas was panting and his thrusts were harder now, more persistent. "Need to knot, to breed you. Knot you mate, mate."

"Jesus Christ." Dean pushed out, all air forced from him at every other thrust. "Do it, Alpha. I want it so bad."

Cas was snapping his jaws by now, growling sounds filling the air just as the slapping of skin-on-skin did. The Alpha’s knot pushed against Dean’s body and one or the other had to give, hadn’t it?

Dean grunted in both pain and pleasure when he felt Cas’ half-filled knot pop inside him. It hurt, being stretched so far so suddenly but on the other hand Dean was already very stretched. Before they even started fucking Cas had taken so long to prepare Dean that Dean had been writhing on the bed, a wet mess. It was now or never, he supposed, so he just gritted his teeth and went with it.

Went with the slow roll the stunned Alpha gave and before Cas’ brain caught up with what the fuck was happening Dean had managed to brace himself on his forearms to prepare for the onslaught that came next.

Cas’ thrusts were much shorter than before but he made up for it in pace and force. Dean wailed when the Alpha found his prostate again and Cas made such a pleased sound that Dean was reminded of how fucking close he had been to coming before all this knot-business started.

"Imma come, Alpha." He moaned and Cas snarled in reply, his jaw snapping again. They should have used the mouthguard but they couldn’t have known this would happen. And Dean kind of relished the thought of being bitten again, actually. "My bite, Alpha." He pressed out and Cas understood right away.

The Alpha’s left hand slid up Dean’s body as Cas draped himself over him and the moment Cas’ hand clamped down on Dean’s arm, covering the mating bite, Dean clenched down on Cas’ knot.

" _Dean._ " Cas growled and Dean shuddered against him. "Knotting you."

"Oh fuck."

Cas’ hips snapped forward and suddenly he was coming and fucking coming hard. " _Mate._ " Cas shuddered out and arched his back to keep thrusting throughout the release. "Breed you full."

" _Fuck, Cas!_ " Dean shouted and came like a fucking freight train. His dick jumped as he came untouched, bumping his heaving stomach and spraying the bed with his come. It felt like it went on for forever and he couldn’t fucking breathe with it.

Cas was still humping him when Dean came to again, the Alpha once again sitting straight up on his knees behind Dean and caressing Dean’s ass cheeks as his cock emptied again. Dean had never felt so full. After a quick estimation he thought that Cas hadn’t come nearly as much as he had during rut with a full knot but the Alpha had still come a lot, much more than usual. Dean felt it dribble past Cas’ cock and down his thighs and maybe it should feel icky but all he felt was gratification. In fact, he kind of wanted Cas to come on him some more, really fucking rub it in.

"I didn’t think..." Dean mumbled when Cas seemed to be done and was moving them to lie down in their previous position. His cock was still lodged inside Dean and Dean could already feel the knot going down. "I didn’t think you could do it out of rut."

Cas was nuzzling Dean’s neck, purring contentedly. "It wasn’t full."

"No, I know." Fuck, Dean felt sleepy. It was almost dawn now and two fucking orgasms after such an emotionally draining day really took its toll. Dean loved it. "But it was much bigger than usual."

He could feel the Alpha smile. "If the sex is good enough, or," he placed his ringed hand on Dean’s chest to hug him close. "If the mating is strong enough, it can happen like this."

Dean’s cheeks were burning and he snuggled back against his Alpha best he could. "Says nothing about it in the books." He slurred sleepily and Cas continued to smile.

"It doesn’t always happen, just sometimes. It’s never happened to me before. I remember my older brother Michael used to brag about his knot popping even out of rut, though."

Dean snorted. "Like that’s something to brag about, good for him that he had a strong libido. Why would he shove that in everyone else’s face?"

Cas’ smile grew. "You misunderstand." He said gently and entwined their fingers again when Dean took his hand. "He wasn’t bragging about himself but about his mate. She was so good to him and made him feel so loved that his knot popped when they had sex. She was everything to him and he wanted to brag about that."

Dean didn’t know what to fucking say. "Oh." He took a deep breath. "So just now you…?"

Cas chuckled and slid out of Dean’s abused hole, a gush of his come following but neither of them cared about that when Cas turned Dean over so that he could kiss him thoroughly and possessively.

"I love you, Dean." He said in his gravelly voice and Dean shuddered under the weight of those words and Cas’ intense eyes.

He reached up and stroked Cas’ cheek lovingly. "My little Alpha." He said contentedly and Cas purred in answer, going down for another kiss.

  


### 

  


Sam watched the sleek form of the Impala glide past on the street at an incredibly slow but smooth speed. Dean was standing beside him outside his and Cas’ apartment and his brother was smiling brightly as the car passed.

"I can’t believe you let Cas drive." He stated and Dean turned to him slowly, a small wrinkle on his brow.

"Driving is a useful skill, Sammy." He said calmly and Sam resisted smiling in favor of rolling his eyes the way he knew bugged Dean.

"I meant that you let him drive the Impala." He said and smirked at his older brother. "I mean, if I didn’t already believe you were in love with him then _this_ would be evidence enough."

Dean laughed and turned back to the street just as Cas rounded the corner, going on his third drive around the block. "Shut up, bitch."

"You don’t get to say that anymore, Dean." Sam reminded him gleefully. "We agreed on douche."

"Yeah, but you’re not a douche, it feels wrong to say." Dean whined and sat down on the steps to the apartment.

Sam sat down beside him. "Oh but I’m a bitch, am I?"

"Damn fucking straight you are." Dean muttered as he watched the other end of the block for Cas to emerge again.

The Alpha had really taken to driving and as he was with most things, he was a fast learner. Dean knew just as well as Sam that almost 95% of all Weres couldn’t drive and the laws said that the Were had to be specially approved to even qualify for taking the license test. Almost all of the very few driving Weres were Manufactured Weres that had been made for tasks such as driving or managing machinery. Cas was of course none of that and Sam knew Dean had just said fuck it to the "special approving" but Sam wasn’t going to argue. He liked Cas and he loved how happy the Were made his brother and that was good enough for him.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Sam asked when they had been sitting in serene silence for a while, watching Cas pass by every couple of minutes.

Dean took a deep breath and stood up. "Beer?" he asked and Sam nodded mutely.

He supposed it was pretty important if his brother needed alcohol to talk about it. Dean returned a couple of minutes later and totally didn’t miss the chance to put the ice cold beer bottle against Sam’s exposed neck. He chuckled when Sam couldn’t contain a little shriek. Asshole.

They sipped their beer for a while longer, Dean clearly gathering courage or trying to formulate what he wanted to say. Sam wished he would just get on with it.

"We’re moving." Dean said eventually, as blunt as ever.

Sam nodded. "Okay. Where?"

Dean sighed. "California." He deadpanned and drained the last of his beer.

Sam scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at his beer bottle, sloshing around what still remained of the liquid. "Okay." He said again, slower this time. "Why?"

Dean was silent again. The sun caught in the Impala as she glided past in a low rumble.

"What do you know about Proposition Infinity?"

Sam frowned in thought. "It’s the ballot for Were rights?" he asked uncertainly. He was certain he had heard Kevin talk about it and if it was the one he was thinking about he thought he knew where this was headed.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, amongst other things. All restaurants will be required to serve Weres. Weres will be allowed to own money and if not property, then at least _things_. Stores would sell to Weres as well."

"Were to human relationships would be allowed." Sam filled in when he knew for certain that they were talking about the same Proposition.

Dean picked at the label on the bottle. "Yeah." He mumbled. "It’s only in the state of California but it’s a start."

Sam’s stomach churned uncomfortably but he knew what Dean was talking about and wanted to support him. "You know that the rest of the family would support you too." He said kindly and watched Dean clench his jaws.

"You don’t know that, Sammy." He stated simply and Sam supposed he didn’t.

Dean had been adamant about not telling anyone else and while Sam didn’t want it to be true he suspected it had to do with how Jess had reacted. She was still feeling horrible about it and no one blamed her for how she had initially taken the news but Sam knew that that was why Dean was cautious. Almost three months had passed since Dean had first told Sam about his and Cas’ relationship and they were still hiding it and would probably keep hiding it forever.

"They haven’t passed the Proposition yet." Sam said in a low tone and Dean sighed a little.

"I know, but even if it doesn’t get passed it’s still a big step that it was even up for discussion. It shows that people over there are at least willing to consider accepting it, even if they won’t right now."

And maybe they were here too but both brothers knew no such Propositions had even been considered yet so yes, Sam understood Dean’s view completely.

"Plus, over there they already have more lenient laws regarding Weres." He said and Dean nodded enthusiastically. They didn’t allow shock collars, for one.

"Exactly." He said and put the beer bottle down beside him. "And even if Were-human relationships are never allowed then at least we’ll be among people who may be in the same situation as we are. I just…" he carded a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I just wanna be able to hold his hand in public. Is that too much to ask?"

Sam looked with soft eyes at his older brother. "It’s really not, Dean." He agreed certainly and Dean seemed to relax a little. "I think it’s great that you would do this for your relationship. You deserve to be happy, Dean. And I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with Cas. You need to do right by your Alpha, and yourself."

Dean smiled a little secret smile. "Thank you, Sammy."

Sam snorted and clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Of course, Dean." He said empathically. "I’m gonna miss you, though."

"I’m gonna miss you too, gonna miss everyone. But I need Cas and I need to do everything I can for him. Besides, we’ll visit and stuff."

"Sure." Sam grinned. "It’s not like you’ll ever miss Ellen’s Thanksgiving." He laughed when Dean snorted like he didn’t know what Sam was talking about. "Have you thought about work?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded just as Cas sidled up to them, parking crookedly but well within the allotted space. "I’ve talked to Bobby, told him I wanna move to California because they have better benefits for Weres. He’s got an old war buddy that owns an autoshop in San Jose and he told me I could come work for him. Just a couple of months for a trial but if I’m good enough he said he’ll hire me for real."

"That’s great, Dean." Sam said and smiled when he saw how Dean’s whole face lit up as he watched Cas get out of the car. "What does Cas say about all of this?"

Dean grinned like a fool. "He said he’ll follow me wherever I go."

"Sappy." Sam laughed and shook his head fondly when Dean just shrugged, still grinning. "When are you planning on moving?"

"After the summer." Dean looked lovingly at the Alpha when Cas quirked his lips at the brothers as he approached. "But don’t worry, I know you’re just starting a new semester. I’m gonna enlist Garth and Ash, maybe Rufus. Or maybe I’ll ask Benny to take a break from his gator farm and come up and help us, it’s gonna be fine."

Sam shook his head just as Cas joined them. "Don’t be stupid, of course I’ll help. Besides, I really wanted to go to Stanford and it’s not _that_ far from San Jose, maybe I’ll make a weekend of it."

"Nerd." Dean mumbled affectionately and grinned.

Cas stopped in front of Dean and looked like he really wanted to sniff Dean’s hair but knew that they could be seen when they were outside. Dean was right, Sam thought, it would be better for both Dean and the Alpha if they moved to somewhere where it was, if not accepted by the state, then at least more common for humans to enter relationships with Weres.

"Food?" Cas asked in his low timber and both Winchesters got to their feet.

"Sure." Dean said and collected the two beer bottles as they started walking inside. "You did really good driving today, Alpha. Do you want pizza?" Cas grunted happily and Dean smiled. "You stayin’, Sammy?"

"Only if I get veggie." He stated, not because he really loved vegetarian pizza but because he liked it enough to choose it every time he ate with Dean just to spite his meat loving big brother.

Dean sighed exasperatedly. "You’re _such_ a little bitch."

Sam laughed and decided to allow his brother to call him that after all. Anything to keep Dean smiling like that.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading until the very end! I cannot ever repay the happiness you give me <3  
> And Proposition Infinity is of course from [Futurama](http://art-tech.arts.ufl.edu/~mikeamato/zoidofspace/6ACV04Guide.jpg). Go diversity!


End file.
